Royal Punishment

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Twilight Sparkle and Rarity have tea. Twilight Sparkle love her friend Rarity and love tea, but why Rarity always try to ruin the moment with Etiquette lesson? Especially when there are totaly wrong.

But Twilight Sparkle know a pony that could change the mind of her friend and maybe her life

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Comments ( 6 )

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Iron Sky

Iron Sky #1 · Jan 20th, 2015 · · ·

To me, the flow of this fic feels all wrong. Instead of logically flowing from one event to another, it feels like it's being forced to lurch through a series of predetermined plot points. Twilight is so out of character that she's unrecognizable. Blueblood verbally destroys Rarity, not because he's written to be particularly witty, but because he's knocking down a strawman.

Still, I've got a soft spot for fics that don't give Rarity a free pass for how she behaved at the Gala. As a short revenge fic, this is passable.

Skarsnik

Skarsnik #2 · Jan 20th, 2015 · · ·

5527450

Thanks for reading and comenting my story!

For Twilight I don't know what you feel it out of character? She is very annoyed to have a friend that try to give her lesson when Rarity does not have any real background aside it's "It must be how a lady must act", when Twilight grow up in a Canterlot and know Blueblood for a long time (I don't know if it was clear when Blueblood said he was already engaged); and Twilight just want to have a good time. Maybe you find she is too cocky with Blueblood, it's more like roleplay between her and his lover.

I know the dialog between Blueblood and Rarity did not turn out like I wanted. I wanted a feeling of Blueblood doing a lecture without really caring about Rarity reactions, like he was following an usual scenerio he goes through, but meh, I am bad

Iron Sky

Iron Sky #3 · Jan 21st, 2015 · 1 · ·

5527624

When Twilight is annoyed with her friends, she speaks at them in an exasperated and lecturing tone. She does not smile at their face, while plotting behind their back to destroy their world view and reduce them to a sobbing wreck. She has never shown either the guile or cruelty necessary to pull that off.

Twilight has never been shown interacting with Blueblood during any of her visits to Canterlot. She has never mentioned Blueblood. She did not even react to Rarity's plan to court Blueblood. The Twilight/Blueblood romance could not possibly have felt any more shoehorned in.

Doctor REDACTED