“If the youth are not initiated into the tribe, they will burn down the village, just to feel its warmth.” — African proverb
The greatest magician in the world, Quartermoon the Magnificent, has just passed away. After his funeral, however, Luna takes interest in one of his granddaughters - a unicorn filly named Trixie Lulamoon, who has only just earned her cutie mark. One life has ended, but perhaps another is only just about to begin...
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A nice story. A bit hard to follow in places thanks to the inclusions of the 'Prench' which were perhaps a tad overdone and could have been handled a little differently. Overall though is always nice to see something from you. And a story focusing on your Trixie as a foal seems like it'll be very interesting indeed. I look forward to seeing more!
This should be interesting to read. I'm wondering how little Trixie will grow up to be the loudmouth she is now.
(And maybe find out about that Icicle Palace Incident)
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There's only one other planned chapter at the moment...but I might do more at a later date.
You used a Nightmare Moon tag instead of a Luna tag, or just forgot the Luna tag or something
5448261
Gah! Good catch.
Interesting seeing the humble origins of Trixie....back when she was still humble.....
Is Trixie's talent really unique if she shares a mark with her grandfather? Wouldn't his talent have been the same or very similar?
Keeping up with the pidgin French was a bit tricky, might be worth a laugh or two if Trixie's family visit and she unconsciously returns to her full accent and not of her friends can understand her any more.
Luna playing with foals is so adorable!
This was incredibly heartfelt. You really captured the raw emotion of this moment brilliantly.
It's hard to get a feel for the rest of Trixie's family based on one chapter alone but from what I got here it seems like they characters I would like to get to know better.
Very nicely done and I look forward to seeing chapter two.
5449123
That is the exact plan for when I finally get to Summer Sun Celebration. Even Cheerilee, who's basically fluent in Prench, is gonna have a hard time 'cause they keep switching gears and also using local slang n' such. Lunesianan isn't really Prench, it's a regional patois that actual Prench ponies hate.
(And that second bit is actually gonna come up in The Glass Kingdom)
Good
Some of them own a noble or two.....I'm looking at YOU, Apple Trust.
Great
I kinda wanna hear about what happened with Rimewind, but overall this was a cute story!
Im surprised Trixie is happy going by lunamoon at this point in her life, I thought by now she'd picked up her dislike of that name due to her experiences at school, unless she's happy with her family using that name.
Another cute and touching chapter ^_^ I like it. We really need some more stuff with Trixie's family! Maybe it's time for one of her cousin to show up to visit?
Copper Coin as in the Copper Coin family?!
Damn it All I wanted was Just one moment of Luna and Trixie having some sort of bond or connection. Something sweet and heart warming
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I bet it's just her family she lets say it at this point. If she was still touchy about it years later with Lyra, I can imagine it was quite a sore spot when she was still little.
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Oh man, I loved this cute story. You really captured the grief well in the first chapter and in this one I liked the tone of hopeful excitement for the future. If you do end up adding any chapters to this I would be happy to read them.
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Oh?
5455278
Well, first, you should be happy to know that the Night Court is largely gone as a plot device and has been for about a year and a half now. Also, you should give Talon and Thorn's Climbing the Mountain a try, which does a good job of showcasting the "good" side of the Night Court (and BADLY needed to have been written BEFORE Season 2 of the Lunaverse started, might have meant that I wouldn't have needed to write At the Grand Galloping Gala, but, such are the vagaries of life).
Second...I'm writing for 18- to 35-year-old males for the most part. I don't feel a need to dumb down anything, including politics. As long as everything works out okay in the end, I think I stay true to the general optimism of the show, even if it takes longer to get there.
But, whatever. I'm tired of this debate and don't want to get into it.
5455365
Damn, I'm outside the target audience then, I guess I'm immature for my age.
Very cute! And very realistically handled. Moving away from one's family to study under a renowned mentor is a big deal, and not something undertaken lightly. I really like Trixie's family - actually, this is the first we've seen of them, isn't it? I wonder what they're all up to now?
And Snowy Night is Luna's Sunset Shimmer, I see. Was "Rimewind" her "villain name"? I've wondered about the sort of damage a powerful, evil pegasus could cause to Equestria.
I like the idea of Luna having a series of apprentices over the centuries, trained in different arts, not just magic or politics.
Great chapter, excellently written, very IC and with every scene flowing into one another, I did feel a few bits were more tell over show, but those were rare and the language actually helped set the scene a lot to me and despite not understanding all of it perfectly didn't affect my ability to understand the story through context and responses which is impressive.
Another great chapter for an excellent fic, I really enjoyed Luna's perspective this chapter and well, honestly everything just fit and ran together like clockwork so there's not much I can say beyond kudos!
I love the idea behind the Night Guard's function, that's very clever. Also Rimewind, I want to know more about this mare, desperately. Can we come up with stuff or do you have some ideas?
Copper Coin, did they start a bank by any chance?
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You can come up with stuff. I do have some ideas of my own as well, yes.
Maybe, but that wouldn't be what they're known in the Luanverse for. But again, this story isn't canon, so that might not be the case.
5462004
Cool, thank you, hmm this would probably work best on the BR thread, you sure you don't want to throw down your ideas first? And are there limits on a pegasus's 'magic' I should keep in mind?
5462019
It was written for a writing event (so it "defaults" to non-canon), and I'm not submitting it to the Quorum (even my stuff goes through the Quorum). Which is not to say that people can't draw inspiration from this if they want to, simply that if they want to write something different, they should feel free to. I want to keep everything loose for any kind of Lunaverse backstories that people might want to write.
5462082
That makes sense, TY for the responses.
Ah, let your villains be villains! The nobles Luna puts up with have certainly hurt their fair share of ponies permanently.
The quality of a story is only as high as its stakes.
I don't speak a lick of French, so I apologise if I offend somone but...
The word peeshwank made me chuckle at how silly it looks.
5466367
Peeshwank isn't even French anyway, so no worries. It's Cajun slang for "little person" or "runt."
5466384
Thank you for correcting me, I've never been good with slang in my own language anyway.
5466436
In truth, the only two languages I speak are English and Bad English. Any time you see me using some other language, it's been provided by Google Translate or a word list I found or something.
5468163
Read the author's note at the end of chapter 2. Or this comment: 5462082
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Waiting on Emeral, Fizzy, and InsertAuthorHere.
We're...not as fast as we should be.
This feels unfinished. Badly. Really needs an epilogue where Trixie in the current time line comes home to visit. With that sort of thing missing this just feels a bit off.
Very nice, touching and well-done. *Applause* Quartermoon, what a guy!
Cute and nice, and canon for me. Rimewind, eh? Hopefully fully unapologetic and gotten punched multiple times? Dead-serious, too.
Heh, I wonder if later on Trixie ever becomes aware of the full history between the princess and her grandfather. Considering her general view on intimacy, learning that Quartermoon and Luna were occasional lovers might just break her for a little while.
That was fun, and nice take on the ponies of Neigh Orleans. As someone who lived in southern Louisiana for a fair portion of my youth, it's always nice to see a respectful (but not too respectful, it wouldn't be right if it were completely serious) treatment of the culture of the area.
5505403
Neat. I've actually never been to New Orleans nor ever actually met anyone who speaks with a Cajun accent or the Cajun dialect, so it's neat to hear that I did a pretty good job with it when I was essentially flying by the seat of my pants
Sorry, I hadn't realised you had posted a second chapter to this
I liked it, it was sweet and definitely help paint a clearer picture of Trixie's family
I will admit that the idea of previous students is interesting, I mean sure the maneverse did something similar with sunset shimmer but having a whole list of them like this does open a lot of possibilities.
Though you have stated that this is non canon, I am officially deeming this to be my headcannon of Trixie's start as Luna's pupil until further notice.
Purely because of the similarity in names, I'm picturing Rimewind as being more akin to Rincewind the Great Wizzard; some lazy pony cursed with extraordinarily bad fate who only really wanted an easy life.
Is this a Lunaverse story?
5728283
Yes, but it isn't canon.
Please make this canon. Just to let there always by the Sword of Damocles in the form of Trixie one day learning her grand piere porked a pretty pony princess
9633623
Oh, you must have missed it...basically there was a kerfluffle in the forums a while back. New rule is just I decide what is and isn't canon on a story-by-story basis. The Quorum of Canon is for all intents and purposes dead and has been for awhile.
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I consider it soft canon. The specific events may or may not have happened, but I do keep it in mind when thinking about Luna's past apprentices.
Please tell me this is continued somewhere? It’s too cute and perfect!
10159339
Well, aside from the whole of the Lunaverse, the young, Creole belle Trixie is a main character in A Day in Canterlot, although the story is from Fizzlepop’s Berrytwist’s perspective for the most part.