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Cheerilee is somewhat a mystery to Ponyville's resident changeling, Bombshell. As he has spent his time hidden away, being extra careful ever since the wedding, he has been focusing on her. Why? Because she is the one pony completely universally loved in Ponyville. So he finally goes for the big one.
What could possibly go wrong?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You jinxed your story bro, everything will go wrong NO WHY
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I've got a fic to tear inta, I reckon.
Let's get a readin'.
A marvelous story you've got there, but it ends a bit unresolved...
We need another chapter, this is the beginning of a tale not the end :)
Hmm... I'm on the fence on this one. The world building slowed the pace of the story down as you explained how things worked. It's not usually a problem in a longer work, but it felt like a good chunk of the read was mechanics rather than the actual "Cheerling" thing. With so many unanswered questions by the end, I didn't feel satisfied, mainly what was off about Cheerling and the attempted grab for "teh feelz" at the end with the question I don't want to spoil.
I'm hungry for more, but not in the best way. Ending here, or at least in this way, leaves waaaay too much in the air with little payoff.
Oh, also...
There's no need to leave your description with a bad, dangling cliche. I nearly clicked away from it.
The ending leaves me unsatisfied, to be honest. Twilight got this "sense" about a pony she's barely said 3 words to, and yet got nothing when dealing with an impersonator of the second-closest friend from her foalhood - yeah she was suspicious, but nowhere near as immediately confident as she was here. This story needs a definitive explanation if you want it to be believable.
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You guys are kind of right, but I loved this story regardless. I'm a sucker for mechanics, so I may be a bit biased on the matter.
WOw, i... had this plan for a while, and you just up and came out with it...
Great minds think alike, i guess.
Just saying that something is mysterious and inexplicable is not an excuse for not having an explanation for it. A story should always have at least one character who knows what's going on and why, even if we don't get to know it. Otherwise it's just arbitrary, not intriguing.
I like this, though the end did not let me satisfied. It feel so unfinished, there are so many questions. And I don't think this deserve the Comedy tag. Slice of Life yes, but not comedy.
Heh.
Even Ditto isn't like the real thing. Can't match personality.
Pokémon joke.
Great story though.
I liked the story overall, but the ending... eh, so luckluster it's almost criminal. If there was suppossed to be a sequel or another chapter, then we're waiting.
Were you using Insecticon names for the Changelings? Brilliant! Good story but just begs for a sequel.
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eeyep!!!!
I've probably commented here before. I remember reading this story. It's actually a good one. I just wanted to say that.