Discord gets invited to the world's weirdest wedding! King Sombra and Queen Chrysalis?! What in the wide world is going on!?
Cover Art by: Oak Sabletwist
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 25th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen April 14th
CreatureofTheNight
An internet reviewer and lover of MLP. That's all I got to say Creature of the Night out
CreatureofTheNight
Joined 25th Sep, 2014 ·
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Ewww. My Jello has a boring changeling empire in it. It is runied.
It's a promising idea, this story. Discord having to go to a wedding sounds like it could be quite an amusing thing. However, this story falls short on delivering comedic effect.
My main issues with this are the pacing and the grammar. The story moved a tad bit too fast for my taste and it would help incredibly if you slowed down and expanded a bit at every scene. Grammar wise, this story is readable but it wouldn't hurt to have an editor go through it all.
I liked it but there is some room for improvement.
5225739
Yeah, reading back on it now, I'm starting to think Comedy is a weakness. I'm not very funny...or rather I have a very Dry sense of humor.
My best works are where I attempt drama, like Moonworshiper 2 or Diary of the King.
This was an experiment and I think that I failed
Well, there's a few bad things in this but hey, at least this fic has better storylines than mine. This is, on MY scale, average-ly(?) good.
You know what? This would actually be anyone's horrors, especially introverts.
I found myself laughing a little at this... however, the grammatical errors were somewhat off-putting. If you'd like, I can point them out to you, so you can fix them.
what kind of jello? is it the stuff with fruit in it?
I really actually liked the humor here, I think there are actually plenty of really good jokes in this, however I kinda feel you don't take a minute to properly describe anything so we can properly follow the story (and subsequently the jokes).
This is like somebody turned a Garry's Mod video into a fanfic. Short, random and kind of funny. Not funny enough for me to fave, but I appreciate the effort. Especially since it's Chrysombra.