Change and Consequence
My mind is spinning at what I saw. It was such a normal thing for Diamond Tiara to do... except it wasn't. For once, I kinda like Diamond Tiara. Okay, Scoots, focus. Let's take this from the top...
Rainbow Dash had to cancel our practice to go deal with some rogue weather from the Everfree, a nasty hail storm or something. I decided that I should see how Snails is doing, give her some help. Anyways, I had just arrived to see the door to her house open with her being chased out, silverware following her. At seeing her cuts and bruises I'd gotten pretty angry, but I put that anger on the backburner as Diamond Tiara approached Snails. I was going to interfere when I heard Diamond say something interesting.
"Get up you crybaby. This behavior is unbecoming of a filly, you wanna spoil our name?" She says, but it's not very hurtful. She sounds almost, empathetic. I linger behind a little and just watch the exchange. Tiara says a lot of hurtful things, but it's almost like it's dulled. Like she's not really trying to be all that hurtful, just trying to keep up appearances or something. Once they went into Diamonds home, I wasn't sure Diamond had ill intent. I waited a while and decided to go home if she didn't come back out, but she did. I was gonna follow her and confront her about her actions, until she stepped into Snails gate. Then I was really confused. I snuck into a tree with a branch that led right to a slightly open window, luckily enough. What I saw was beautiful and shocking.
I was already mad at the mare, so it was extremely satisfying watching Diamond at work. Diamond dominated Snails mom, and I can't hate her for it. But the most surprising thing is that she did it at all. Why would she go to such lengths for Snails? What possible gain could she have for that? So, here I sit, puzzling over this very thought. It just doesn't make sense, it goes against everything I thought I knew about Diamond Tiara. Maybe... maybe Diamond isn't as bad as I'd thought.
~~~~~~~
"Okay, Slacker. Up and at 'em." My eyes shoot open as a hoof nudges me awake. My eyes meet Diamond Tiaras and the weight of yesterday's events comes back. She doesn't look mad or anything, just irritated. As I look into her eyes, I notice something. It's a facade, there's no irritation, none of the regular emotions the filly portrays. She actually looks a little... compassionate.
"Well? Don't just lie there, get up." She pushes me once more before turning to a rack of clothes that wasn't there before. I get out of the blankets carefully and stand by the bed, unsure of what's happening. "Finally," Diamond Tiara rings a bell and a mare, she's clearly one of the mansions servants, comes in seconds later. "Poinsettia, please take our guests measurements and prepare a dress for her." Poinsettia nods and turns to me. She falters as she sees me.
"Er... Miss Tiara..." Poinsettia starts.
"What?" She asks shortly.
"Nothing." Poinsettia amends.
"Uh-huh. Send her to the washrooms after you've measured her." Poinsettia nods and Diamond leaves. Poinsettia turns to me with a sigh.
"I'm sorry about that little colt. I realize lady Diamond can be quite... insistent. I can show you out if you'd like. I'm sure you'd rather that than a dress?" She means Well, but the suggestion hurts.
"Um, no. I'd actually um... really appreciate a dress..." I tell her sheepishly. She looks at me, stunned. "Please?" I ask. She snaps out of her stupor and nods.
"Alright then, if you could please hold still." Poinsettia gets to work with a measuring tape, and it isn't long until she sends me to the washrooms. I stumble in and Diamond Tiara is waiting for me.
"There you are. Take you long enough? Nevermind, do you remember that slime stuff? How much of that can you make?" She asks.
"Uh, I dunno, a couple pounds?" I answer uncertainly.
"Okay, fill this bowl." She pushes a bowl to me and I reluctantly fill it. She inspects the slime and grabs a hoof full of the stuff. She starts lathering it into my mane before I can stop her.
"Hey!" I protest.
"Shut up and hold still," I reluctantly do as I'm told and she lathers my whole body with the stuff. The gunk seeps into my coat and seemingly disappears, my mane droops as it loses it's rough texture. Soon, my entire coat is soft and glossy. However, I smell like sewer. Diamond nods approvingly, feeling my coat.
"Celestia, that smells. Okay, let's take care of that." Diamond grabs some perfume of some sort, she sprays me quite thoroughly. Soon a strong mint smell invades my senses, swamping the terrible smell of the gunk. I brush my hair out of my eyes and Diamond hands me a mirror. "Your mane is really different when it's soft. Like it's unstyled," Diamond tells me.
I look in the mirror and realize she's right. It's like I removed some sort of hair spray and now my hair looks more... fitting. It's loose and slightly wavy, a contrast to my sketchy clumps before. "Wow..." I whisper, running a hoof through my mane, it doesn't give any resistance. Each strand is like a cloud, soft and light.
"Okay... a little touch up," Diamond Tiara spins me towards her and I set down the mirror. She pulls a makeup kit out from a cupboard and sets it on the counter. I watch in interest as Diamond searches for tones similar to my coat color, just some gentle touchups. I stand completely still and obey every command she gives me patiently. It doesn't take long and soon I'm looking into the mirror once more. The pony I'd always wanted to be stares back.
"There we go," I glance over to Diamond and catch her smiling with a look of pride. She sees me looking and scowls back. "C'mon, your outfit should be ready by now." Diamond stomps out stiffly and I follow.
"Lady Tiara. The outfit is ready." Poinsettia informs with a bow. Diamond nods and looks to me, she jerks her head towards the dress in a `go on,` motion. I nod and step up to the dress. Poinsettia is looking at me in curiosity, but she helps me get into the dress. The dress fits snugly, but it's loose enough for freedom of movement. It accentuates all my more feminine features perfectly. I look in a mirror Poinsettia supplies to get a proper look at myself and I'm stunned by what I see. Gone is the clumsy colt, instead there's a beautiful filly in an elegant but simple dress. Simple in three fact it is more casual day clothes than a gown for the gala, but it's beautiful all the same. I gaze in awe until the question hits me.
"Why are you helping me?" I ask her.
"You mean the dress? I have a reputation to maintain, I can't be seen with the lower class. The least you could do is look the part of upperclass," she explains haughtily.
"You mean you expect to be seen with me?" I ask in surprise.
"Unfortunately, Yes. I have to find some other sucker to dump you on." Diamond grumbles.
"I can just go back home... I'm sure mom's over it by now... or at the very least willing to talk it out." I Muse, Diamond Tiara flinches visibly at that.
"Actually, your mother's gone Snails... she will have left by now." Diamond says, rubbing her foreleg nervously.
"What? Where's she gone?" I ask, my voice shaking.
"I don't know." She answers sincerely. I lean against a wall as tears form in my eyes. "Don't cry, you'll ruin your makeup," Diamond Tiara says half-heartedly. She almost sounds tired, but tired of what I can't tell. The door opens and Silver Spoon strolls in, escorted by a Butler.
"Miss Spoon is here to see you." The Butler needlessly announces. Silver Spoon has stopped and is looking at me.
"Who is this? Is that Snails? Your hanging with the lower class? And Snails no less! I knew you were going soft... and for these fags no less. I thought you had some sort of plan when you asked Star to hang with us, but you probably actually wanted to hang." I flinch away and avert my gaze from Silver Spoon.
"Silver, it's not like that." Diamond says.
"Like Tartarus it isn't! And to think, I thought you were Okay. I guess I was wrong." Silver sneers, then she turns to me with a malicious grin. "And you, you're gonna go to hell with all the other fags" Silver Spoon spits.
"His mother beat and left him!" Diamond seethes.
"She should get a medal then! She's the only one I've heard of trying to deal with the mistakes in this town!" Silver retorts. "I trusted you Diamond. When you left those blank flanks you used to call friends, I thought you had potential. You even started to surpass me, and I was content following your lead! You've failed me. And there's no room for failures at the top." Silver spits.
"Get out of here... I don't care anymore, just go. Get out of my house." Diamond sighs, Silver turns around and struts down the hall victoriously. My head whirls at what I just witnessed. Is the troublemaking duo no more? Diamond shuts the door quietly and breathes deeply.
"I'm Sorry." She almost whispers.
"What?" I ask.
"I said I'm Sorry. For everything." She sighs before turning to me fully. I can see it all in her eyes. Sadness, compassion, anger, but mostly regret. "Every foul act I've committed against you and everybody else..." she continues.
"Why?" I ask.
"Well that's a loaded question, isn't it?" She scoffs humorlessly. "Why the change of heart? Why was I so cruel in the first place? Why anything?" Diamond asks rhetorically. "Does it even matter why? Just accept the stupid apology," Diamond mutters. I look at her curiously, wondering what the story could be behind this. Secrets are meant to come in time, I'm sure this isn't the last I'll hear of the topic.
"Okay, I forgive you," I lay my hoof in a comforting manner on her shoulder, she flashes a quick smile at me. Her smile disappears and she pushes my hoof off of her, she turns towards the door.
"Thanks, I guess. Come on," I follow her out the door, we stop just before we leave her mansion. "You ready?" She asks, I don't dare trust my voice and just nod once. She opens the door and we both walk out. Nothing happens, nothing continues to happen as we leave her property and walk down the street. I don't know what I expected to happen, but it wasn't nothing. Diamond notices my shocked, but still nervous, expression. "What's wrong?" She asks with less compassion and more politeness, I still appreciate the sentiment.
"I don't know, I expected, something- anything! I expected to be struck down by lightning. To be run out of town by a mob with pitchforks. For Silver to track us, but instead... nothing." I tell her, my eyes moving faster than my thoughts are. Darting from pony to pony, fear and anxiety poisoning my hope.
"You're wrong. Slow down and look at the details, it's what you're good at isn't it?" I blink as I hear those words, she's absolutely right. I take my time to look and I realize ponies are giving me weird looks, just not a lot of them. Some must realize who I am.
"Gah! That doesn't help me at all!" I avert my eyes and glance Tiara, she just rolls her eyes. Then I see a welcome sight, Star and the other Crusaders. "Girls!" I call out, they all turn at my voice and most gasp at what they see. Diamond Tiara hangs off to the side, just around a corner and out of sight.
Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Star Soar are all shocked, but Scootaloo. Her eye's have a strange glint I can't place my hoof on, it's not the impressed once over or the nonplussed casual demeanor. It's more of a knowing look, but what could she know?
"Snails?" I pretend not to notice the curious stares coming my way at that exclamation from Applebloom. The four run over to me, I politely sit there. Surprisingly, Diamond hangs around.
"Snails? Where did you get that outfit? Did your mom buy it for you?" As the thought of my mother comes back, my mood immediately plummets. Tears start to brim again, Tiara makes her presence known.
"Hey! Watch the waterworks. I worked hard on that." She says, the four Crusaders spin towards her as she walks up. The Crusaders form a wall between me and Diamond, except for Scootaloo. She hangs back and sits next to me.
"What do you want, Tiara?" Sweetie Belle asks accusingly".
"I don't want anything from you three." Tiara turns around, but she doesn't walk away.
"Wait... three? Who do you want something from?" Sweetie Belle asks, the seriousness disappearing from her tone as she takes on a thoughtful look.
"Er... Well, nopony. But especially so for you, Bloom and Scoo-" Diamond pauses as she realizes Scootaloo isn't a member of the immediate wall blockade.
"Well good, we don't want nothing from you either!" Applebloom huffs.
"Fine!" Diamond shouts.
"Fine, fine!" Applebloom retorts. After a couple more seconds of awkward silence, Applebloom whispers to Star Soar. "Why ain't she going anywhere? I thought that was the end of the conversation..." She asks awkwardly.
"I don't know, ask Sweetie." Star responds.
"Hey Sweetie-" she never gets to finish the sentence.
"I can hear you!" Diamond huff. "I don't even know why I bother..." she grumbles as she turns to leave.
"Tiara, wait!" I call out to her, she stops and turns as I run around the small blockade. "The Crusaders is all about finding who you are, who you want to be. Me and star chose to change, you can too! Can't we put all this stupid enemy stuff behind us, why can't we just be friends?" I don't know what I said that got to her, but her eyes say that she understands.
"Would you like to be a Crusader?" I ask, I hear three gasps.
"Snails, what are you doing?! Are you crazy?!" Applebloom asks frantically.
"Snails..." Star starts in concern.
"Oh... that's what a doozie is." Sweetie Belle nods her head before returning to a frantic look.
"Yeah, your group members aren't as enthusiastic," Diamond Tiara chuckles dryly.
"You're in," Scootaloo says, everyone stops and turns towards her in shock.
"What?!" Applebloom asks frantically. Her mane is starting to fray and curl in spots, like when Rarity gets out of sorts.
"B-but, the oth-thers..." Diamond Stutters.
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect," Scootaloo replies.
"And... you're just willing to trust me, just like that?" Diamond asks.
"Well, a certain confrontation may sway my opinion a bit," Scootaloo winks and Diamond looks confused for a second. That is, until her face lights up bright red from a blush.
"You saw that?" She asks.
"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. And one thing I know I can trust you to do is make someone fully aware of how incompetent they are." Scootaloo says with a wink, Diamond just grumbles.
"What did Diamond do?" Sweetie Belle asks. I'm wondering that myself.
"A story for another time perhaps. But for now... Diamond Tiara, do you want to be a crusader?" Everypony goes quiet as we wait for an answer.
"Yes..." she answers after a long while, I can feel my smile stretch wide. This looks like the start of something great. Friendships formed out of old rivalries, and all the potential for happiness. There were some rough spots along the way, and there still will be. But this is just the beginning of both my new life and a wonderful friendship. Everything's happening so fast, but sometimes the world needs to slow down. After all, I'm just barely coming to terms with all these new developments.
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Personally, I'm eh on the story. I love what it stands for, but there's numerous issues. It needs a proofreader for one; I know the author can use proper grammar, which only makes it more egregious when it's not done right. Random capitalization of words, missing possessive apostrophes, that sort of thing. Additionally, I can't shake the feeling that this story was written with aditional characters, and adapted for ponies afterwards. I hesitate to use the term "OOC", but they feel like only rough approximations of the characters. Finally, the story feels too short; major events come and go far too quickly.
5284234
The pacing feels fast to me too, and characterization too. The random capitalization is due to the fact I can't always catch when auto correct does something stupid like that. Same with some other grammar mistakes. I'm using my phone because I haven't had access to myusual method of writing, and it has changed my efficiency slightly. I apologize for that. I'll remember these things and try to amend them in the future.
I feel like you've just hit me in the face with a twenty pound bag of pleasant surprises. This was beautiful, if a bit short and slippy in the format department. You've got my like. I'd love to see a continuation of this. Like it's been said before, there really needs to be a lot more trans Snails stories, even if she doesn't go by Glittershell.
5314778
There will be a continuation, Nd my hope is to get it out soon.
5314778
I just need to know Which once to write first, Dinky, or Diamond Tiara. I haven't gotten any suggestions.
5315102 I'd say start with Diamond Tiara, as she's more important right now. Once you've set up the scene, add Dinky in with some sort of conflict. Not necessarily that Dinky is the conflict, but I wouldn't make it a non-event, if you know what I mean. That's just how I'd go about it.
5316128
Okay, Thanks.
5314736 I have to finish reading this one. Apparently I forgot to track it, thanks for reminding me lol
A fine resolution. The mother may have shown her fallible love, but I'm sure someone fa rmore capable will take her place. My, I'm rather surprised it's Diamond who is the better of the duo this time. I hope to see Silver again, causing strife, and ultimately facing acceptance. I will be looking forward to the sequel~
A daylight's wonder remains,
and so long as you bask in this truth's thrill
no nightmare shall claim your bliss.
Your search has yielded;
the name of dearest friends
be ever with you through your nights,
and never again shall you falter
on this road to acceptance—
to you, who still wander lost in the fragments of past,
transfer unto this dream your strength
and rest blissfully on the vehicle,
on this road to redemption.
Excellent work, dear Author!
Indeed, a pleasure to have read.
Not the best, but I enjoyed it. To me the characters seem a bit more different, especially Silver Spoon.
I remember you submitting this to LGBT as well, It's been added now.
I'm going to download both stories so far as text files and give them a quick dash through my obsessive correction processor, then pm the corrected chapters back to you so that you can do a relatively painless copy and paste replacement.
They aren't bad, but the consistent errors are a distraction.
In other words: I volunteer to be your editor. This is not something I do often.
5490274
oh, well, thank you! I tend not to get editors for the sole fact I'm impatient, inconsistent, and when I finally do finish a chapter I don't want my readers to wait anymore. The fact I tend to write on a phone doesn't help because autocorrect is a pain in the flank and tends to capitalize random words and a bunch of other stuff I don't always catch... so, yeah, sorry. but also thanks a lot! I really appreciate it.
5489657
thank you! and as for silver spoon... I know she tends to be a lackey, but I thought about it and decided it wasn't the direction I had planned for her. I intend to clarify on this in the next story, hopefully.
Not sure if the lack of a Diamond Tiara tag was to keep that sort of surprise element, but far as Main Characters go, she certainly played a bigger role in this than the CMC. I'd strongly suggest adding a DT tag, Snails and Diamond take center stage in this despite whatever role the CMC played in the earlier short scenes with them.
Suddenly the sequel makes a lot more sense. To think this was a thing and it passed me by due to missing tag.
That ending was a bit sharp with Silver, I can certainly see the attitude existing in the Nobility due to how important lineage and keeping family lines going to insure their assets never get such thoughts in their heads that would interfere with their future plans for their foals.
Sort of got a lot here to work with, at least for the sequel if anything, if you ever decide to build more on Snail's mother. Keep up the good work!
5962242
Thank you, I edited the tags. It never even occured to me, I hadn't meant for Diamond to take the role she did at first. And Yes, the next story will have much more past building.
The feels ;-;
its awesome ;-;
6596167
I'm so glad you liked it!
6597004 nowww I shall go cry v-v
*fan girls in corner of room*
The story was so good! By the end I felt little rain drops hit my face even though evn though it wasn't raining. gosh dang it rain! Okay, no more about how I cried. I like AU where Snails/Glitter Shell is a transgender MTF. It's so cute and has so many possible storys! so many! Can't wait to read the other stories.
I was curious, so I decided to read this too. (In fact, I was so curious about this that being curious about this is what led me to stick it out through the previous story.)
I'm not sure what I expected, but I set my hopes too high. When Snails's mother reacted that way, all I felt was "Didn't I read this already?" and, with Silver Spoon's reaction, the story jumped the shark.
In the gigabytes of fanfiction I've read over the last 15 years, a parade of shallow, highly-polarized characters has been one of the most consistent symptoms of really bad writing that I've encountered... especially when no effort is made to foreshadow and justify deviations from readers' impressions of their canon characterizations.
As with the previous story, this feels like you're writing a plot first, then slotting characters into it and making the minimal effort possible to make things fit, rather than letting the characters run with a general idea of what approximate direction they need to be heading at a given moment.
To be honest, DT was the only part that really gave me a sense of "with the right beta reader advising, this could be truly great".
...and that doesn't surprise me because it reminds me of something I wrote about noticing in Disney "cheapquels" like The Lion King 2: In those movies, the most enjoyable bits are when characters are being used as filler, momentarily freed from the demands of the plot and allowed to be themselves.
The Nostalgia Critic said it best in his review of the Smooth Criminal segment of Moonwalker: "Oh, no! The Plot! Please, go away! We were having a good time!"