Wind Charm Has a secret that he needs to get off his chest. And decides one night to tell his best friend Babs Seed. His secret being that He is really a filly trapped inside of a colts body. Along with telling his parents. How will this turn out. Only time will tell.
A special thanks to gardrek for editing this
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Oh boy... oh boy, oh boy. This, to put it bluntly, is... not good. It's really... not good.
6654560 Thanks for your encouragement. I hope you stick around for chapter 2. And any advice is great. I am always learning new skills in writing. As for my other storie. Its on hiatus at the moment. This story has a bit of influence of my personal self.
*Looks at title*
*Looks at tags*
Who knows!
But seriously I would like to correct everything in this, but there is just too much. If you'd like me to help with the grammar, message me.
6655304 That group is how I found it, anyway.
Great story so far, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
6654560
That's not why I'm downvoting. This is badly written. 6653293
What will be Wind Charm's female name ?
6702033 you know that is a good question. One that i am still working on. Since chapter 4 is in the works. And I have not yet gotten to that part yet. So i will tell you what you can do. Suggest a name that you think may work with the character. And if i like it. I may use it. but allow me to thank you for reading and i hope you keep coming back for more.
Good so far. I like it and I hope your muse carries you far with this story. I can see it needs some work on the gramar side of things but definitively not the worse out there flon that end. Keep up the good work. Also can't wait to read more.
6734958 thanks for your kind words. i really do enjoy writing this one. It relates to me in many ways. Wind Charm is kind of a version of my self. I hope you enjoy the next chapter as well. and keep reading as time goes on.
You should really go back over this.
Ponies that know she is a filly are okay to say things like "take care of this filly". But till she tells the pony, they would think she is a colt.
How does AB know Charm is a her at this point.
POV is Apple Jack? So she does not know Charm is a 'she'? This may, or may not be a mistake.
POV is Apple Jack? So she does not know Charm is a 'she'? This may, or may not be a mistake.
How does Apple Jack know Charm is a filly, and her name?
How does AB know Charm is a her at this point.
There are many more like the above.
Also keep an eye out for Missing closing quotations marks:
I do like the story.
6705368 Well, "his" name is Wind Charm so... why not "( Flutter-Beauty )"
p.s.
What does that mean ?
Do you mean a "Illusion-Spell" that is powered by.. WillPower ?
Wait, if "Flutter-Beauty" puts her hooves on her face, would she fill a colt's or a filly's face ?
So.. wait, they know that she was born a colt !?
Do they know about transgenders ?
Do they know what Luna did/does ?
Are they others ?
.... ?
6755740
Luna's spell
6768885 hmm i think i may go back over and rework the dream sequence a bit. I kinda did leave a massive hole. But yes its a spell by luna. When i get bit of time i will go back through and change a few things. It most likely will be later this week due to the holidays.
6769145 Ok, but what about the name ? 6702033 6705368
what about the face
what about this ? 6768982
p.s. Why I'm I not getting the notifications ?
6769247 im not sure about the name. I can't say much about the face yet. I don't want to spoil anything. I will say however that the next chapter she will be leaving the bed.
6769348 A, ok.
Is that how he had always looked, or how she now looks like ?
p.s. also, "Flutter-Beauty" is a earth-pony !?
"Flutter-Beauty" voice, does it now sound like a filly's voice ?
Ummm... don't you mean
and also, Fluttershy is going 2 tack this pony, that she jest met, as a daughter ?
6803993 yes she is a earth pony. And that is how she has always looked just has never been able to see it.
6809387 Ok.
p.s. Why do you post the answer on the next chapter ?
I don't receive them when you reply.
OK this needs to be re-edited, new speaker new paragraph, always. The dialogue particularly in Chapter 3 is very hard to read because of this, as Brute Force and Wind Charm talk in the same paragraph and if you're not paying attention enough it looks like Wind Charm is threatening their father, and Luna is telling herself to mind her own business.
Other than that its not bad, you don't have any problems with run on paragraphs, there are some problems with misplaced words that don't fit where they are, but it's very clear you know how to spell check. If you want my advice I would go through and read through Fimfiction's writing guide even though its a bit of a long read I think its worth it.(Obviously nobody expects you to follow everything put down there to the letter but I think some of it would help you out to keep it in mind)
http://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide
In the last chapter she says
So.... Is... Fluttershy & Apple-Jack.... together ?
7214893 the only way to find out is to read the new chapter
The kiss really wasn't a good way to go imo
Did Twilight read about it, got told about it by Luna, OR ... ?
7250595
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8odfhpgQg1qffr83.gif
they are 
They Are
Ummm... You may want 2 change that
This image has green eyes...
more please it is an excellent story
How are you ?