• Member Since 18th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Jun 6th, 2015

Takzu


I'm not very good at these, but here goes nothing! I've been a MLP fan for a while now and only discovered this site recently. I'm not the best writer, but I'll do my best.

E

The humans at the restaurant Freddy Fazbear's are getting tired of having to replace the night guard every week, and go to Canterlot to ask for Princess Luna's help. She agrees to help, but the animatronics aren't expecting a blue alicorn princess to replace last week's guard. Needless to say, they are caught off guard.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 280 )

and shenanigans ensue.

Pro-tip: A good description doesn't need "X ensues" to attract readers. In fact, it repels some.

Five Nights at Freddy?
Princess Luna?
Comedy???

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/698/068/a4e.jpg

5161065
Oh my Celestia I love you so freaking much right this very moment Flint Sparks the greatest man of our time who speaks the truth plainly and succinctly. :rainbowkiss:

Thank you.

>Five Nights at Freddy's crossover
>Luna

Satan, laughing, spreads his wings.

i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/232/634/b88.jpg

:rainbowlaugh: love it, keep it up

Keep up the good work.

Luna + Five Nights at Freddy's = Hilariously:rainbowlaugh:
Also that's a nice idea having Luna as the Night Guard. It makes since because Luna is the Princess of the Night.

Interesting. Very funny. Just so you know, Chika is acutally spelled Chica. :)


5161065
Thanks for the tip. I appreciate it since I'm fairly new to writing.
5161525
Thanks for telling me. I'll fix it as soon as I can.

There are going to be some very frustrated robots by the end of night five.:rainbowlaugh:

You know, I think this is the first funny FNAF fic I've ever seen.
Here, have something amusing:
static1.e621.net/data/e2/17/e217bb77e8036f70a58b80815cb62c2e.gif

And this is what happen when you put trollers with a master troller.

...You have my attention.

Omgomgomgomgomg :rainbowderp:
A horror game + a alicorn princess = :pinkiegasp: :rainbowlaugh: :twilightsheepish:

This is funny.

...well this promises to be fun.:pinkiehappy:

I am intrigued. Tracking.

Oooh, this is gonna be gooood :ajsmug:

A couple of instances of tenses being mixed up, but nothing major, don't worry about that too much. I would suggest, though, to remove the X's POV thingies and just replace those with a horizontal line. The text shows us whose POV it is, it doesn't require an additional reminder.

I like it on the whole, but keep in mind the story sort of requires people know what Five Nights at Freddy's is, not to mention knowing which animatronic is which. It might make some readers shy away if they don't. A link to a wiki, or more explanation in text, like the recordings from the previous watchman, might be useful in the next chapter. But that's for other readers, don't take it as gospel. :twilightsmile:

Congratulations. You have won the Internet.

5161555
Reading your comments in the voice of the exasperated Luna of your avatar is almost as hilarious as this story.

Oh No! It's Supertoilet! So much clogging!!!!! :raritycry:

Yes.

Just.... yes.

So much yes....

This is amazing. Do continue! :pinkiehappy: :raritystarry:

G00d story i love it :)

Loving it so far. Can't wait to see what happens tomorrow... :pinkiecrazy:

I can't wait for Luna to realize that they were trying to kill her... or golden Freddy...

I can suggest a proof reader!

Requiem17

Oh man! :rainbowlaugh:

I can't wait for night two!

I'm pretty sure Bonnie is female. It's definitely a girl name.:trollestia:

Heh, I have the same cover art for one of my stories.

5166791 Exactly what I was thinking!

5166791 Nah. The creator himself said that Bonnie was male.

Hmmmm.

This was mildly amusing. This wasn't another [X] Curbstomps FNaF because whatever fic that I've seen dozens of times, but I was hoping for something a little more...unique I guess. I'll keep an eye on this anyways.

Although I admit I do like the take on the Animatronics doing what they do because scaring people is fun to them.

:pinkiegasp: You should TOTALLY do Pinkie Pie and FnaF!

Amm

5164831

I would suggest, though, to remove the X's POV thingies and just replace those with a horizontal line. The text shows us whose POV it is, it doesn't require an additional reminder.

That was my primary thought of critique as well. Things like that always draw me out of a story by reminding me that I'm reading one.

I double dare you to make three chapters Ian day!

I'm loving this so far! keep it up!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

This, I like it.

img.pandawhale.com/post-16860-ANOTHER-gif-Thor-Imgur-wh3P.gif

We have enjoyed this chapter, and demand another!

I must say, this is definitely an interesting take on the FNaF crossover. Showing things from the animatronics' pov is fresh, and very well-suited to a comedy. Having clueless Luna watch over murderous robots is a gold mine of hilarious possibilities, and this first chapter did a good job of scratching the surface.

While there is a fair amount of errors throughout the story, this was still, on the whole, a good read. I shall stay tuned for more. :twilightsmile:

Footnote: I was watching a FNaF-related video when I noticed this in the Popular Stories box. :rainbowlaugh:

Thank whoever for me finding this. sweet whoever. I love this.

Har har! I be findin' meself a perfect story ta be readin'!

this sums it up nicely

You write.

I chant: " Another chapter, another chapter, another chapter, anther chapter, etc....."
:rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild:

5164831
Thank you for the tips. I'll fix the X's POV thing here in a bit.
5165054
*exasperated Luna voice* Glad we amuse you.
5169288
Challenge denied. It takes me a few days to sort through my ideas and decided what idea goes in what chapter. As a matter of fact, I started writing the second chapter today, and that is after I went over my ideas for this chapter. I put effort into these to make it half way decent, and I can't do that if I'm in a hurry. But don't worry, writing it takes about a day, and proof reading wont take that long. :raritywink:

Login or register to comment