- Member Since 19th Aug, 2012
- offline last seen January 31st
nodamnbrakes
"Descriptive but creatively shallow and morally bankrupt."
nodamnbrakes
Joined 19th Aug, 2012 ·
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So, what made you stand out after only a week? Must have been pretty impressive.
I really like her mane!
At first, I thought that was a condom over Dash's wing. Then I realized it was a sock.
What are the other Wonderbolts like? How is it working with them?
Do you have any friends outside of the Wonderbolts?
What was your demonstration?
Congrats on being a wonderbolt! You deserve some music. Hope you like them ^^
Y U such a bish
Why are you so cool? You make all the other mares and stallions uncool because your coolness is to much for them to handle, so they just resign themselves to being uncool.
To inquire about your "services" do I just talk to you, or do I need to talk to one of the other Wonderbolts?
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Why did you shave your mane? Is it some sort of political statement? Are you rebelling against something or some pony? It is really odd to see you bald. But I can understand youthful rebellion.
Signed, Neko Majin C.
KBO.
Why aren't you dating Soarin, Rainbow Dash
Chapter two: Entry #2:
This is superfluous.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Why is your coat slowly turning green? Is it something you ate? Is it an allergic reaction to something? Or are the rumors true and Henna Rinse discontinued your color?
Signed, Neko Majin C.
KBO.
Are the Wonderbolts' after-parties really as crazy as rumors make them out to be?
Is Soarin as cute in real life? Are the rumors true that you are lesbo
Were you a virgin before you met the Wonderbolts?
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Is there any truth to the rumor of your twin brother's untimely demise? There are several rumors running around. One implies he failed his flight test and went on a "field trip" to the Cloudsdale Weather Factory's Spectra Division. Another one implies that his sister had something to do with it. And one implies he was a ritual sacrifice to the pagan Sun God, Ra. Are any of these the true answer? And if not, what is?
Signed, Neko Majin C.
KBO.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I have heard some crazy stories about the Wonderbolts initiation rituals. Is it true that you had to shtup your own father? That is messed up.
...How was it?
Signed, Neko Majin C.
KBO.
When will Half-Life Three be released?
Why aren't you that type of mare?
Get this bitch a cannon, bitches love cannons
Bitch doesn't have a cannon yet, i'm waiting.
I'M STARTING TO LOSE MY PATIENCE ABOUT THE CANNON!!!!
5093256 Commander boreale enemy's along our perimeter
And also WHO HASNT GIVEN THIS BITCH A CANNON YET???
Dear Rainbow Dash,
You were fired from the Ponyville Weather Team for making clouds rain... How do I put this politely? Bodily fluid based precipitation. Is it true that you joined the Wonderbolts for amnesty?
Signed, Neko Majin C.
KBO.
ALL RIGHT THATS IT YOU JUST ACTIVATED MY ALU-CARD!!!!
So, in short, you're a cumslut for the sweaty mares and stallions?
WHY. DONT. YOU. HAVE . A. CANNON. YET????? BITCHES LOVE CANNONS!!!!
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I have found a picture of you as an Earth pony.
i1208.photobucket.com/albums/cc362/Ninja_Fanpire/RainbowDashG3-1.jpg?t=1300786167
Would you care to address the accusations that you have had extensive species reassignment surgery? And the rumors that you are, in fact, a trans-species? Do you believe that you were born a Pegasus in an Earth pony's body?
Signed, Neko Majin C.
KBO.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
As your therapist I cannot, in any sort of good faith, allow you to be continually violated as you have been over the course of these past few weeks. I ask you, in all seriousness, to abandon "the team" and return to Ponyville for more comprehensive therapy.
It is inevitable that somepony is going to do somethin to you, and they won't have the good sense or decency to stop or use restraint, and it could end very, very badly. Please, Rainbow. Come back. Open up to me. I insist for your health and safety.
This is why you need to learn to read.
Are you entirely certain that what you signed means what you think it means?
p.s. Being illiterate, do you just sign with an X or something?
oh god , fimfic is turning into tumbler shitposting now? will this madness never cease it's spread?........
Are you absolutely positive you're a legitimate member of the Wonderbolts? No offense, but it sounds like they're keeping you around for a completely different reason...
Are you suggesting there's something wrong with being a mare of the night? Luna might take umbrage with that.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Why did you burn down those four orphanages? Do you have something against parentless foals? The third one you burned down was the most impressive by far considering it was in Cloudsdale and was made out of clouds. How exactly do you set fire to clouds?
Signed, Neko Majin C.
KBO.
Wut.
Dear Rainbow Dash do you think Soarin is adorable, because I certainly do. His emerald eyes and navy hair (daydreams)
Dear, Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie wants you in Sugarcube Corner's basement - er - in Sugarcube Corner. She wants you to help her bake cupcakes.
Hey Rainbow Dash have you preformed in any shows yet?
Are you sure you aren't just some bit of fun for them? Sounds like it to me.
So this is some kind of tumblr-esq ask blog?
Ok, so question.... uuummmm..... hhhhmmmm....
The postage for all this fan mail must be super expensive to get it to the base that is most likely in the sky.
And I bet its super heavy.
Have you ever given the mail ponies some Extra "compensation" for all the hard work they do?
Is the pay good, at least?
Poor Rainbow... They're taking advantage of you.
Please stand up for yourself Dashie.
So what exactly do you not like as much?
5094062
Nobody cares what Luna thinks, she's a filthy whore.
5094985
Isn't that what I already said? Stupid Chuckleface.
5094990
Your mother is a chuckleface.
5093964 oh look, they're learning how to use buzzwords! That's cute.
5093040 She's 'moral support'
....The Wonderbolts pity her