Retired writer and graphic artist.
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Diamond Tiara puts up with a lot of things in her life, like running out of ice cream, and the CMC constantly causing trouble around town. One day, though, she finally gets what she needs to put an end to her problems.
Part of the Queen of Diamonds Project, where Mattricole and I both wrote about Diamond Tiara taking over Ponyville, to see how we would each execute the idea. Be sure to check out his take on the concept here.
Assistant Writer/Editor: Telaros.
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Like that old burger king commercial, ba ba ba ba ba~, I'm loving it!
I really don't get this story even though it's random. It's just Diamond Tiara being a monster without substance behind it.
4991623
Yeah, there's really not anything to get. Pretty much just entertainment.
4991623 Well, there was supposed to be a CMC scene before the pool scene. But some things are best left to the imagination.
Yeah, the story is only as bad as your imagination allows it to be. We were going to reveal the photo at the end, but, I'm a fan of people making up their own minds much like all those older animations like Animaniacs and so forth. Though, seeing the final line Diamond delivers, it could of been better worded. I'll talk to Bootsy about that.[
I'm pretty happy with the CMC scene though, but sort of miss the rest of the joke, which was shortened because the joke got a bit long.
Deadline was today for the challenge though. So things just got left on the cutting room floor. Lots of which just didn't add to the overall focus of the challenge.
Maybe I should of allowed this to go darker?
it probably would of played out better being exaggerated darkness.
Also, Twi's Castle really did break tons of zoning laws. ;P
Princess or not, Ponyville doesn't belong to the Monarchy.
Celestia merely gave them the forest to do as they wish.
Earth ponies built everything in Ponyville. It's not totally off.
Maybe if we had enough time we would of added that string of unamused string of all the stuff that made for DT snap enough to make Ponyville a better place. Or, more like, Daily life in Ponyville. And that eyesore of a castle that planted itself on one of the main roads that now forces ponies to circle their carts around the castle to get anywhere, not to mention the lovely view Diamond had from her mansion of Canterlot.
There was much we wanted to do. There was supposed to be a CMC punchline. DT's line at the end I sadly didn't have the energy to iron out, so it just made things feel darker than it really was.
Blackmail!
4991750 'Diplomacy'
Three problems with this story.
Problem one: Mayor's can't make orders like that unilaterally. Even in a small town, any new law has to pass a vote.
Problem two: Diamond only had one copy of each set of pictures. First thing any political figure asks when being blackmailed is about copies. All they had to do to fix it is burn the envelope she handed to them.
Problem three: All Twilight would have had to do to absolutely destroy Diamond - and her ambition - would have been to use her Princessly authority to throw Diamond in jail for seditious behavior.
Oh wait, Problem four:
If the CMC had reported the nature of the 'new classes' to their older sisters/older sister figures - which they certainly would have - they would have been immediately shut down for foal abuse and Mayor Mare immediately impeached for ordering it.
Basically, the only reason Diamond manages anything is because literally everyone else in the story is holding an Idiot Ball.
4991833 I see you're not a fan of dumbing down Ponies for comedic effect. Whatever you do, don't read my version. I can almost guarantee you'll hate it more
4991833
This story possesses virtually no logic, hence the random tag. However...
1: Yes, I'm aware of that. Never said this made sense. Was just supposed to be entertaining. Of course, Equestria appears to be an absolute diarchy, so authority figures may have more power than they do in some places here on Earth.
2: That's something you're assuming, actually. And, by the fact that the mayor didn't bother even trying to take the photos and just asked for demands, it's implied that she's been through this before and knows that only a complete idiot would hand over the original documents without copies.
3: And have her secrets spilled all over the place as a result.
4: That sort of thing takes time and red tape. It got into the newspaper, though, so already it's a well-known thing, anyway.
But yes, somebody dropped a massive idiot ball on the town, and this is most certainly a crack fic.
4991866
Actually, yours was more realistic and no one actually felt out of character. Well, aside from Sweetie Belle.
Didn't enjoy yours, but this one I actively disliked.
Didn't downvote, because it was internally consistent and didn't have any errors I noticed, but I definitely didn't like it.
4991833
Every MLP episode in a nutshell.
Suck it Twilight.
For all we know and seen, Mayor Mare could be much like the states when they were all completely independent. Applying earth logic to Equestria just removes the magic. After all, you're going by MODERN DAY equivalent human society. Delve back some hundred years or two and you'll be closer to what Pony Society is like in places like Ponyville where the Mayor doesn't have term limits. Heck, ponies are still shown to be branching out still to places like Appleloosa and struggling to make it habitable.
This was fun.
Thanks for reading!
4991659 Everything Tatsurou wrote is true. Structurally and character wise the story is sound. Reading Diamond Tiara be a nasty little brat isn't entertaining in this context.
Disclaimer: this comment is sponsored by my current BAC.
Seems that we both think that Featherweight and blackmail go well together... I wonder what's in those photos...
Fuck the rules, I'm a Princess
I actually agree...
4991914
Ah, I see. Oh well. Thanks for explaining, at least.
4991937
I'll never tell.
4992001
Good. Leaving things to the reader's imagination may bring interesting results... (cough*Lightning Dust*cough).
4992007
Why do I get the sense that I may never live that down?
4992018
Well, it was one of the very few things that ever left me speechless...
Well, we know the photos shocked the Mayor, and that they implicate Spike, to the point where if Princess Celestia would take him away from Twilight. My theory is that the photos are proof that both Spike and Mayor Mare are actually humans in disguise. The same human, in fact, named Cathy Wesluck.
Not bad at all. The story is formatted just fine, though I feel that there's something missing, but I can't quite describe what it is. Anyway, I upvoted as while it has its flaws regarding the storyline, its decent enough to be entertaining at times. Keep on writing and I'll look out for anything else you plan on doing.
This story is really nice, but it feels incomplete, like there's should be another chapter to this, I hope you think about that.
If only there was somedragon who can pull the biggest blackmail of all blackmails on Diamond Tiara.
5085887
Do I smell a sequel? No, wait, that's pool cleaner.
Ello, my name is Sylvia Spoontoia. You killed my daddy.. you have like, SO got to die!
maybe she's trying to get her on possession of foal porn
never mind. Silver was pretty useless.
I don't know if I liked this or not. I mean for one thing, that special Blank Flank classroom would have to be allot bigger. The CMC are not the only blank flanks in that class, just the ones DT/ SS pick on on a daily bases.
I didn't care for the beating of
either. That was just going way overboard. It added nothing to the story. It wasn't funny and it was just adding injury to insult.
it was well written but i think it needs to be tagged as Dark. and i didn't really se anything that was funny besides Silver vomiting and Twilight talking about the "storm of stupid" blowing over
4991737 I didn't care for the beating of
either. That was just going way overboard. It added nothing to the story. It wasn't funny and it was just adding injury to insult.
it was well written but i think it needs to be tagged as Dark. and i didn't really se anything that was funny besides Silver vomiting and Twilight talking about the "storm of stupid" blowing over
4991866 on the contrary, Mattricole. yours was actually comedy and I loved it!
this was just a dark and foreboding grim depiction of Diamond at her absolute worst.
this is only a comedy in the sense of "The Divine Comedy" was called a comedy. and that was just the writer's account of his decent into Hell.
4991889 same here. will up vote because it was well written but I was looking for
and I got
I ma actually glad Silver Spoon wasn't actively involved. But the pool side scenes were my favorite. The interaction between DT and SS and Featherweight were fun to read.
oh and I guess the
scene was the one time I actually laughed. 
5158991
One thing is for sure about this: it was far from my best. This fic is one of the big reasons I decided to take a break from making stories, because it was clear that I was slipping as a writer. It was a fairly dark comedy, for sure, and probably requires a twisted sense of humor to really enjoy. For example, that CMC scene.
I would've gone the Nightmare Diamond Tiara route, which would have been even darker, but that story would've taken way too long to put together for this project. Might do it someday, though, if I ever start writing again.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
Downvoting. Sorry, but the story just wasn't entertaining. You made everyone in authority idiots and turned Diamond into a villain sue.
7100425
First of all, thank you muchly for actually telling me why you didn't like it. Much more useful than just a downvote. Secondly... villain sue? I never considered that possibility, but upon thinking about it, I'd say you're onto something. My assistant writer on this one does often say that Ponyville should be taken over by the Earth ponies and to overthrow Twilight. I currently hate this old fic and he still seems to love it, so that makes a lot of sense. Thank you also for making me realize just where I wrong with this one.
7100569 Yeah, this story is really bothering me. There are several places where Diamond Tiara's scheme could have been stopped easily.
Mayor Mare could have just confiscated the pictures and had Diamond Tiara arrested on the spot.
Applejack, Big Macintosh, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash would outright MURDER Greenhooves for hurting their little sisters and then finally actually notice Diamond Tiara. Cue one dead filly.
Twilight's a Princess, a member of the triarchy of Equestria. She so very much DOES have authority over Mayor Mare and her pathetic little hamlet. She's just too nice to exercise it. I don't know where anyone gets the idea that she doesn't have authority, it's mind-boggling. Hell, half the town listens to her over Mayor Mare anyway...
Again, Twilight could easily confiscate the pictures, INCINERATE THEM IN DIAMOND'S FACE, and have Diamond Tiara arrested on the spot, For TREASON.
And if all of that fails, we have Spike, who's competence goes up in proportion to Twilight's competence going down. "Dear Princess Celestia. Twilight for some strange reason let a little bully take over the town. I think she's being blackmailed. Come stop it before the town riots (again). I think said filly (yes, a filly. Stop laughing, I'm being dead serious. No, I'm not playing a prank) being lynched would be a bad thing, even if she does does deserve it at this point. Just get your cake-laden butt down here and FIX THIS. With frustration, Spike."
Cue irritated sun princess having guards come and strip Diamond's family of their lands, titles, and money, Diamond Tiara getting arrested, and lengthy lectures to both Mayor Meathead and Princess Dimwit Sparkle on the virtues of not giving into tyrants, especially if they're little girls with entitlement issues.
I'm not against stories where a minor character becomes a conquering villain. I'm even not against an Earth Pony uprising story. But this was just bad. Far too much OOCness, far too much blatant stupidity.
7102592
Yeah, this story actually made me temporarily quit writing because I felt I was slipping. I was like, "If this is the kinda garbage I'm gonna churn out, I'd rather just not write." And so I stopped writing for a while.
7103505 Everyone produces a lemon now and then. Don't give up on writing. Turn the lemon into lemonade.
(Alternatively, weaponize the motherfucker and watch it explode with the force of a thousand Michael Bay movies.)
7104503
Worry not. I have made comebacks since then. Just need to take a break, sometimes.