Whose Line: MLP

by Harbinger Of Mist

Hollywood Director

Heyyy welcome back to more Whose Line! And Star, thank you for sharing those pills, I finally remember my mother's birthday.

No prob.

Alright, now before I forget... I'm sorry, I'll leave the jokes to you guys. Let's move onto a game called... Hollywood Director! This is for all four of you. Now this game is played by having three of you, Star Blunt and Solid, acting out a short scene. Then once it is finished, for the most part, the director, Dull, will interrupt you and have you replay the scene, but with a new twist or quirk. Now your scene is... Oh sweet lord... ummmm... Set ten years in the future... Applebloom -Star- admits to Spike -Blunt- that she's pregnant... and that he's the father. Then her brother, Big Mac -Solid- becomes outraged from overhearing their conversation.

Okay, so... whenever you're ready, take it away.

---

Star and Blunt are standing out in the field together. Blunt notices that Star is acting worried. "What's wrong Applebloom? You won't stop staring at that pile of crap in front of you."

"Oh! Ah'm sorry, Spike." Star turns to him and confesses, "Ah hate t' tell ya this. But Ah've been acting strange lately. And Ah figured out why: Remember when ya came over t' visit a week ago?"

"Ahhh. How can I not? It was the first time we tried your family's alcoholic cider."

"Yes. Well... Ah'm afraid that... because of what must have occurred afterwards, that Ah am... pregnant with your child."

Blunt bent down to laugh. "Oh no. That's impossible."

Star asks, "How can that be?"

Blunt suddenly takes on a serious tone. "Because I'm a f***ing reptile! We dragons are cold-blooded and lay eggs! There is no way that you're pregnant, let alone me being the father."

"What was that y' said?!" Solid shouted in a deep, booming voice as he approached them from nearby. He stares Blunt down right in the eye. "What did you say about you being the father of my sister's kid?!"

"Stop, Mac, Please!" Star cuts in between them. "It was from when we drank th' cahder last week. Ah cain't remember it, but Ah'm afraid that is the only explanation for how Ah've been acting."

"But how can he be the father?! He's a f***ing reptile!"

Blunt interrupts, "Wait! Weren't you drinking the cider with us?"
---
Cut! Cut! Cut cut cut!

I am not letting you go there! Stop it!

Sorry...

But other than that, it was completely remarkable and perfect!

Thank you.

Or in other words, CRAP! This isn't working. We need something to spice it up... Spice. Spice! You know where they have a lot of spices?! Mexico! Do the scene like a... spanish!... horror movie!

...Action!
---

Star is acting melodramatic to the point of fainting. He confesses to Blunt, "Oh, Senor Spike!" He drapes over his shoulders. "Mi dragono grande! I am afraid that... Our night last week had done something horrible!"

"Chica..." Blunt lifts Star's head in assurance. "Whatever it-a may be... I will stay with you through thick and-a thin."

"I am carrying your child."

Blunt gasps and starts shouting gibberish in a panic. "¿Cómo pudiste hacerme esto a mí? Has arruinado mi vida! ¿Dónde están mis pantalones muertos?!" He cups his hooves over his cheeks. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-" He inhales. "-oooooooooooooooooooo!

"You must run, Senor Spike!" Star warns. "Mi hermano... he is... possessed. If he ever finds out about this, he'll turn into a horrible-looking red-eyed bull!"

"What is happening over here?!" Solid shows up nearby. "You slept with mi hermana! I'm gonna-- rararraaaaaaggghh!!" He prompty turns into a bull and begins charging.

Blunt jumps out of the way and starts taunting him by holding his front legs out. "Torro! Torro! Ole!!!" He swings them out of the way and makes Solid run off to his side again.
---
Cuuuut! Cut!

Okay... Hear me out on this! I know it's unorthodox, but... maybe we should go for a "so bad, it's good" kind of thing. Do the scene like you REALLY don't care about your job! Be apathetic and boring! Or anything that doesn't fit with the situation!

Action!
---

Star clenched his stomach and started to have an uncontrollable spasm. "Argh! Oh! AH! Blaaarbrlrlbralabrrlabrblalbrbrlabrlbrlabrlah!!" He tosses his legs up into the air and falls flat on his back. He spoke in a deep, constipated voice. "Spiiiiiiike! The cider... last week... I'm pregnant."

Blunt was seemingly unphased by the news, but responded with a few concerned words; albeit dry and monotonous. "What? How can this be? I can't be a father. I don't know what to do."

"Graaaaaah!!!" Star thrusts himself from the ground and grabs Blunt's shoulders. "Spiiiiiike! You need to help me."

"But how? I don't know where we can go."

"Noooooo! I mean for the SHOWER!"

"I did not sleep with you; it's not true! It's bulls**t! I did not sleep with you! I did NAHT." He looks over to his side. "Oh, hi Mac!"

Solid gasps from the distance and approaches them with a hilariously stern face. He responds in a falsetto voice. "What is this I hear about a showeeeeeeeer?!" He stares Blunt down right in the face.

"She meant she needs to take one."

"Maaaaaaaaaaaac!" Star begins to have another spasm until ending with a gesture toward the farmhouse. "Can you join me like a good brother?"
---
Cut! C-c-c-c-c-c-c-cut!

I SAID not to go there!

Oh yeah...

Can I keep using that voice?

No! I changed my mind! We need to keep actually trying!

I know! Let's try using different characters! Blunt, act like Pinkie Pie! Star, you're Discord! And Solid, act like Steven Magnet! Don't question me! I'm the director!

Isn't Discord a guy?

He's not SUPPOSED to make sense! Neither is Pinkie, for that matter!

Action!
---

Star walked toward Blunt and spoke as if to lure him. "Oh, Pinkie Piiiie. I have a special surprise for you..."

Blunt opens his eyes wide and tip-toes toward him. "OOOOOOoooohhh! What kind of surprise?"

Star stood on his hind legs and directed Blunt's attention to his stomach with his front hooves. "Tada!"

"Ummm... why did you make yourself fat?" Blunt asked.

Star chuckled in good spirits. "Oh-ho, Pinkie. Isn't it obvious?" He began to walk around him. "Because of us drinking all that cider last week, I have become pregnant with your child!" He gave a hearty smile.

"What?!" Blunt gasped. "That's where fillies come from?!"

Solid ran up to them in a serpentine pattern while shouting, "Oh good heavens!" He hugs Star and nearly bursts into tears. "Oh Discord my sis- broth- sis- SIBLING! How can this be! I can't hardly believe you two would do such a thing!" He calms down and looks toward Blunt. "Though... Isn't SHE the one who's supposed to get pregnant?"

"Oh fine..." Star replies. "If it'll help quell your confusion..." He claps his hooves together twice.

Blunt shivers and looks at his stomach. He gasps and starts to skip about. "Yaaaaaay! I'm gonna be a mommy! I'm gonna be a mommy! I'm gonna be a mommy!"
---
Crap crap! Crap crap crap!

What?!

...Crap!

...

Crap!
---

After standing still for a moment, Star drapes his front hoof over Blunt's shoulder. "Listen to me, Spike. Let me level with ya for a little."

Blunt stammers. "Well I uhhh... suppose I could."

---

No! Wait! Hold it for a second there!

What is it?

I'm sorry. Dull... You can't just do that. We need you to give them an actual instruction to work with.

What?!

I thought it was funny.

Yeah. And it would have given us a chance to IMPROV.

*Audience oohs*

Look just... start from the last "cut" part. You guys get back to where you were standing before, and we can fix the footage in editing.

Well, at least we're not starting over...

Okay. Go ahead.

---

Cut! Cut-cut-cut-cut!

What is it, Popeye?

Gah! Nothing's working!... You know what?! Forget the script!

Yeah! I'm gonna go write my own script! With blackjack and hookers!

Oh no you don't! Look... This time, don't speak! Do the whole scene as an interpretive dance!

Aaaaction!
---

Star bows down in a depression in Blunt's direction.

Blunt gets down to his level and holds up his hoof in concern.

Star responds by using his front hooves to gesture to Blunt, then to the side of his head, then to right behind him. He leans back and mimes a guzzling-from-a-bottle motion. He stands back up and acts all tipsy. He falls on top of Blunt, laying right on top of his stomach. They then roll over so that Star is on the bottom, then quickly back.

Star stood on his hind legs and solemnly clenched his chest with his hoof, then sliding and looking down to his abdomen. He extends the other hoof to Blunt while forcing tears into his eyes.

Blunt jumps up in shock, holding his hooves up to his cheeks with his mouth formed into a narrow vertical slit. He then proceeds to slowly run around in a circle on the tiptoes of his back hooves while holding and swaying his head side to side.

Star hops up to him and grabs his shoulders. He gives a quick hug before disbanding while holding his front hoof to his forehead. He kneels down and pretends to sob in a fetal position.

Blunt slowly trots over and lays his hoof on Star's back in a comforting fashion.

Solid appeared behind them. He steps over ferociously to an inaudible rhythm. He keeps switching between staring at Blunt and Star before finally grabbing Blunt by the base of his neck as a threat.

Blunt holds his hooves up in front of him and shakes them as Solid rears back a dramatic punch.

Star returns to his hooves and tries to intervene. Solid holds his reared hoof up to Star's chest and gently pushes him away. Star flings his hooves toward Blunt as he stumbles and falls onto his back.

Solid punches the air in front of Blunt's face, causing him to turn his head appropriately and slowly retreat from the force of the hit. He lays down onto the ground as he holds one of his hooves up to his cheek.
---
Cut! Cut! Cut!
Bzzzzzzttttttt!!!

---

Okay now! Let's wrap that up. Great job to all of you! I'm gonna give you all 2000 pints!

Oh! Well bottoms up!

And again. I'm so glad we didn't have to start over that time.

Oh yeah.

I didn't have enough ideas for a second recording.

Yeah well-- wait! What am I saying? I'm nice and comfortable at this desk! I shouldn't care how long we need to do this!

Anyway, we'll be back with more Whose line. Be sure to be here when we return!

Author's Note:

Congratulations, Darth Gonzo. You are 91% responsible for this game coming into fruition early thanks to your suggestion in the comments.
May Celestia have mercy on your soul.

Yeah, I wanted to do a gag with the producer interrupting the game for a while. I just didn't know where it would fit the best. Fortunately, I found an excuse to use it with another joke I've been anxious to make. So, that's the two birds.

And up next... Scenes From A Hat!!!!
And no. It's not too late to make more suggestions. You can keep giving them until the chapter is shown to be published.

Comments

[lordalexander74]

SFAH suggestion: Something along the lines of "Hidden Talents the Mane 6 don't want you knowing about"
Like Fluttershy's knitting, Dash's amazing singing skills, or Rarity as a champion of a hay dog eating contest.

[Europa]

Oh my god. I can't breathe.

[Harbinger Of Mist]

5087785 Over the hilarity of the chapter, or the anticipation of the next one?

[Europa]

5090018 Both!

[Harbinger Of Mist]

5067529 I hope you are proud of yourself by the way...

[Darth Gonzo]

5095162 I'm sorry but I've got no soul because I'm a Changeling. Muahahaha.

[silverthorn]

Nice Futurama reference.

[Marine King]

Those references...