PaladinColt
Joined 14th Sep, 2013 ·
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Niiiiiiiice.
Not bad. Some grammatical errors and awkward wording and sentences aside its a solid clop but runs a tad short.
7/10
Read like stereo instructions.
I dont understand why this has so many dislikes, it was a really good short fic.
Pretty rushed, and parodies of bad shipfics have similar scenes, it's generic. Not bad, but not good either, put more time into the next one.
. I did expect Soarin to say "I could get Spitfire in here" when Dash mentioned fucking a Wonderbolt. Why do so many (myself included) make Spitfire gay? Is it just everyone's gay for Rainbow Dash?
I bet Spitfire had a mirror and a camera phone the whole
could be better, but tbh I'm imagining i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6183376128/hB2A83177/
Nice choice of words...
Uhh, I think we got it the first time you said it.
Oh I see why they have to clean the showers....
*ba dum tush*
Ah, halariousness....
A pretty generic fic, I've read better. The occational error, but nothing to glaring. Could be a bit longer, and slowing down the pace would make it seem more believable. 6/10
The ending demands a shower threesome sequel adding Spitz! #MAKEITHAPPEN!
...eh I ship it
This almost seems like a sequel to "I Made You a Pie, Soarin"
Dat ending tho...
Aww..i wanted this story to be longer and has some grammer mistakes but overall its short but good to clop to.and that ending tho! I approve this clop!
Good story
two words ....loved it!
Maybe you could lengthen it and/or add a second chapter perhaps?
4887030
OMG
your i con is so hilarious!
5084603 try to explain what happend to soarin and rainbow dash
5085394
short story:
it was cold in cloudsdale as a pony in a black cloak flew through the wonderbolts H.Q, the pony lifted the hood.
the pony was a cyan blue with a multicolored mane, known as rainbow dash. rainbow flew to soarin's window which was propped open, she jumped in taking her cloak off.
soarin was fast asleep as she slipped into his bed
"Hey" she said which woke up soarin immediately, soarin blushed bright red and started to speak a little gibrish before she cut him off with a kiss.
soarin froze
"now that your awake we can start to get busy"
rainbow licked her lips
"OH GOD soarin thought
5088828 BRAVO!my friend.
Liked it
But the ending though
I have never had a Co (commanding officer) say something like that... and I fought in the gulf war and have been on 2 tours to Afghanistan.
So...
Will there be a sequel?
4884347 honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if that was true.
So Soarin is secretly a girl hey?
5368820 O_O an error?
*changes the word* Much better! 
Lol, great story, please make a sequel with a threesome if you already haven't, if so tell me the name, please.
Damn, I've been off this site a while, heh. Reading a few things, and this was one of them.
Not too bad, but I noticed grammar issues and things that could have been worded better. A little short, but I like the ending, and altogether a well done short little story. 6.5/10
LOL love thst ending XD
Nice, that ending xD