The Cuddly Invasion
The Cuddly Invasion
(Alternate Universe- No royalty, only the great herd)
I don't even know where to begin with this…
I suppose I should start at April 1st, that's when all of this shit started after all.
When I heard the news report of colourful ponies flying from the Atlantic Ocean, I along with many others thought it to merely be some sort of April fools prank, some even went so far as to call it a mass hallucination, or the end times…from the usual suspects.
We didn't really take it seriously. It was a joke; I mean what else could it have been?
Apparently an invading army wasn't on the list.
I was sleeping when the ponies finally reached Britain, I didn't see what happened until it was too late. I didn't hear that white winged unicorn horse thingy announce her plans to the world.
I remember waking up to the sound of glass smashing, people screaming, and a bizarre mantra from various voices crying-
"Accept the cuddles! Resistance is futile!"
Amusing no? It got me laughing as I blearily trudged down the stairs in any case.
At least until I actually saw who it came from…and what they had done to my family.
There were three ponies, all different colours with different manes and different emblems on their backsides. Each was on top of my family, one for my mother, my brother and my little sister. They were all glowing a mysterious gold, each laughing, giggling and weeping from sheer joy.
It almost made me run. My brother, my angsty, angry teenage brother never laughed, never smiled. He was the buzz kill at parties, the antisocial loner at school.
He never laughed, but there he was giggling and crying from utter joy.
"Come here Eric," my mother cried, happy as can be. "Let them hug you, join us. You'll feel so much better sweetie!"
…and that's what made me run, into the street in my PJ's and dressing gown.
But it wasn't any better out there. People were strewn all over the street, each with a pony atop them, nuzzling them, hugging them.
All looked to me…and smiled simultaneously.
"Join us!" they cried, reaching out with hoof and hand. "Join us, be happy!"
I'd never ran that fast in my life.
I continued to run as the weeks passed me by, stealing from empty shops to keep myself fed, clothed and watered. I made sure to stay out of the ponies' sight…until I figured out that I didn't have too.
It was a day like any other terrible day. The news reports were the recent, yet same drivel of joining the ponies in happiness, along with the other chipper news of fights and wars in foreign countries finally coming to an end as they too were cuddled into a puddle of bliss.
It was the only thing the ponies did right for us, in my opinion.
But the rest, no. With the ponies having successfully snuggled with almost the entire world so quickly, that very same world came to a stop. Minus the news station, nobody worked. Nobody did anything except lie where they were cuddled, that magic somehow keeping them free from hunger, illness, dehydration, the weather and the usual bodily functions.
And it was while I was thinking this that it happened…that out of the sky, a red coated, blond haired mare tackled me to the ground and…cuddled me.
"Join us human!" she cried happily, nuzzling my cheek.
The familiar golden glow enveloped my body, my heartbeat quickening rapidly, breath near hyperventilating.
But then it stopped, the pony atop me seeming confused, dazed even.
"Am I not your cuddlepony?" she mumbled numbly. "Then who is?"
I took that brief moment of respite to push the thing off of me and run like hell. Surprisingly she didn't follow, choosing instead to merely gaze at me sadly. I didn't figure out why until much later, but the reason was simple.
I was one of the rare humans, the ones that weren't changed by the usual cuddle magic that affected the pleasure zone of your brain. It simply wasn't enough for whatever reason.
It was this that managed to keep me away from the rest for many months, until…
I was hiding out in a house, didn't know who it belonged too, but it was thankfully empty of any pony or cuddled human, so I figured it safe enough to stay for a while.
It even had electricity somehow…and it was this that I believe alerted her to my presence.
At the time I was laying on someone's bed reading a book, Harry Potter if you're interested. Anyway, there I was reading, and the small radio I thought to be broken suddenly blared to life with an announcement.
For me…
"This is Matt Jones with an announcement from Celestia-Oh, okay. Ahem, this is Matt Jones and Luna with an announcement from Celestia herself-Okay, Luna stop, hahahahaha, no that tickles!"
And then came a very soothing, kind and maternal voice. A voice that in any other circumstances I would have found enjoyable to listen too. Unfortunately…
"Eric Frost, I am Celestia, mother of the great herd. I know you can hear me…"
"Holy shit," I whispered, unsure of whether to run from the house or stay and listen.
I stayed.
"You have run from your family, you have run from mine. You have such a fear, such a hatred of my kind that your very soul rejects our love for you. I wish you to know and understand that there is nothing to fear, nothing to hate.
"My ponies only wish to help your kind, but I understand now that it is not enough, that unlike the rest of your kind, there is not a pony out there who can bring you to cuddledom. No, I have felt a tug upon my soul for too long, and it cries for yours to be healed. So I will be the one to bring you to rapture."
I stared wide eyed at the radio, unable to believe what I was being told. I didn't know much about Celestia other than the fact that she both led her ponies at the beginning, and started this whole mess. That she was supposedly meant to be MY cuddlepony…I was in trouble and I knew it.
"You cannot run, you cannot hide, and you cannot escape. You WILL be snuggled, my little human. And I make it my personal, joyful mission to be the one who shall embrace you for eternity. Others have tried to resist, none have succeeded…none. Accept me, accept us, join us."
...
"It's the beginning of the end for you, my little one. Resistance is futile."
I jumped as the front door downstairs was forced open, the sound of many hooves and flapping wings following as they made their way up the stairs.
Taking the initiative, I grabbed the portable radio and my backpack before climbing out of the window and onto the roofs ledge. How I didn't break anything as I jumped to the ground is beyond me, but I wasn't complaining. It allowed me to get away from the herd…for a time.
I managed to lose to my pursuers for a while, a short while. It kind of surprised me that there we any ponies left to chase me at all really, but I guess we were simply more numerous.
In any case I managed to make my way into the next city, shivering as I passed by the cuddled in the roads, some still in their cars. Even the children weren't spared…monsters. It was as I accidently nudged a cuddled that it happened…that she happened.
As my foot touched the cuddled, the pony stopped nuzzling the young women beneath him and looked up at me dazedly. It caused me to pause, this never happened before after all.
Unfortunately it was in that pause that the stallion's eyes glowed gold, his muzzle opening as he cried in a voice not his own, a familiar soothing voice now so joyous.
"Found you!"
And as he did so, so too did the other ponies, each looking at me and crying the very same words, over and over. I ran out of sheer fright as they did so, stumbling into more cuddled and starting the process again many times.
It's like I've set off an alarm!
…
Oh shit.
I dived into a nearby apartment and sprinted up the stairs until I reached a corridor of doors. Frantically, I opened all that would open and checked inside. Most were filled with cuddled, but one right at the very end was thankfully empty.
I all but slammed the door behind me as I ran in, hooking the chain on the lock quickly. I then threw my stuff to one side and crawled under the bed, lying as still as I could, the screaming still very present outside.
…
And then it stopped.
I must have laid there for at least five minutes before I slowly crawled back out, making my way to the closed blinds and peeking out of the window carefully.
Shit…
She was there, in all her glory, she was there!
Celestia, the herd mother was walking through the street, smiling maternally as she reached down and nuzzled each cuddled in tow, kissing both individually before moving onto the next.
She continued this course of action for the next few moments before suddenly stopping, the smile adorning her muzzle widening greatly as she turned around.
And looked right at me.
The herd mother sat and spread her hooves wide, a comforting gleam in her eyes as she continued to look right at me. And then she nodded encouragingly, her expression, her smile and open hooves beckoning me to go to her, to hug her, to be with her forever and ever and ever and ev-
"No!" I cried, snapping out of whatever trance she put me in as I clambered to my feet. "I don't want this!"
I couldn't run, I couldn't escape, I couldn't hide. Not now that she knew exactly where I was, not now that she was literally right outside.
There was only one thing left that I could do.
I climbed up the stairs frantically, running and hopping over three at a time until I finally reached the door.
The door to the roof.
Once I was though, I quickly ran over to the edge and looked down, Celestia nowhere to be seen.
"Are you really going to jump, my little human?"
I was so startled by the sudden voice that I very nearly did. Fortunately…or unfortunately I was saved by surprisingly warm golden glow keeping me steady, pulling me back from the edge and turning me around as a pair of strong, yet comfortable forehooves wrapped themselves around my back.
And my face was mere inches away from hers.
"You silly thing," she chided, her gaze both loving and stern. "Did you really think that this was necessary or that I'd even let you do it in the first place?"
"Let me go!" I cried, struggling against her grip, said grip becoming ever stronger as her wings wrapped around me.
"Why?" she asked, smiling warmly. "I can give you bliss without end. No more anger, no more fear or hatred, or pain. No, my little human. You will be snuggled and you will enjoy it, I assure you."
A golden glow surrounded the two us, brighter, more intense than any I'd ever seen. And unlike with the mare before, Celestia's didn't force itself upon me. It smoothed its way in, filling up every crevice, every part of me. It warmed me, made me go lax as I collapsed against her chest.
I blinked…and a room was what I found myself in, the glow, the intensity of it all still working gradually.
"Embrace me Eric," Celestia cooed, nuzzling my cheek. "Embrace me, accept me, love me. Love me as I love you."
I was physically shaking with effort as I tried to fight off the oncoming bliss. I was screaming in my mind, defying what she was forcing upon me.
We were both on the floor, all of her hooves, her wings around me tightly. I felt so warm, so loved, so happy. I was happy for the first time in a long time, and I could feel that very fact chipping away at my resolve.
"Don't you want this, Eric?" she crooned, her tone low and tempting. "Forever loved and happy, and content. Pleasure without end. No more worries or stress, no more work or hurt. Just you and I. Just my warm, soft coat for you to lay your sleepy head, forever and ever. Don't you want that?"
"I…want...I…want to…"
"Accept me," she soothed. "Let me wrap around you like a warm, cuddly blanket, and snuggle you unto bliss without end."
I felt her do just that, the light around me dimming as my comfort grew. I was…I felt so wonderful, my arms began to slowly wrap around her in turn.
"Mhmm yes, that's it," she laughed, nuzzling the top of my head affectionately. "You want to be snuggled, you want to be loved. Accept it, accept me, join us!"
…
She laid a kiss upon my forehead…and I broke.
"I accept!" I exclaimed, tears leaving my eyes as bliss overwhelmed me. "Oh God, I accept, I accept! Just hug me!"
The cuddlehorse chuckled at my exclamation happily, tightening her grip around me as the world became nought but white, warm, soft and ever so snuggly fur.
"As you wish, my little human."
I smiled…and knew naught but paradise.
End
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If you take over equestria I will be forced to cuddle you, no mercy for you.
Oh, you evil genius.
Starred, upvote. New chapter plz.
lovely
This kind world take over of humanity isn't so bad.
Not like those other fan fictions... you know ones I mean.
4838906
Yup, I decided to do something similar...but in a way people wouldn't get sick at
SNUGGLES!!!
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/139749199054.gif
37.media.tumblr.com/8b190a49ccf1dc248003ed4184b1cd23/tumblr_my5dxhV4kr1rlm6avo1_500.png
iambrony.dget.cc/mlp/gif/486864__safe_solo_princess+luna_animated_text_image+macro_hug_caption_season+4_spoiler-colon-s04e01.gif
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/1/17/526821__safe_princess+luna_princess+celestia_imma+snuggle+you.png
*eye twitches*
Well, that was kinda freaky.
Wonder who will be next.
Edit - Here is a funny idea.
Nothing Is Set in Stone verse, Alex and Shining drunk bro pseudo gay cuddle nap, which Cadance takes a picture of to blackmail them with, and the obligatory freak out when they wake up.
This was silly and very well written. I see that NMM and Chrysalis tag!
4838955
Why not
We need to get this to the featured box ASAP!
WHO'S WITH ME?
Ps. I need more
4838991
Should be very hilarious.
We could of been the most powerful race in the galaxy but no we had to be defeated by unfathomable cuteness
I dont know whether to be awed or terrified
Here's an idea
We have the mother (Faust) of Celestia and Luna who visits the only human in equestria after he saves her daughters from a pack of timberwolves and Faust decided to reward the human with her holy snuggles.
4839139
It shall be done!
4839142 derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjRmMTljMmU1OTQ1YjcwMjJlNzAwMDAwMSJdLFsicCIsInRodW1iIiwiMjUweDI1MCJdXQ/1043__safe_oc_blushing_ponified_cute_artist-johnjoseco_lauren-faust_fausticorn_alicorn-oc.jpg
I have to wonder why the hell ponies came to earth in this story, probably not as conquerors since they were pretty benevolent minus the small rapeyness their cuddles were at first.
4839167
They came to bring bliss to humanity.
Remember, there are no Princesses in this. Just the herd, with Celestia as their mother.
And Eric's apparent cuddlepony
4839259 I'd hate to see her body after all the births then!
4839562
You take things way too seriously. Mother as in head of the herd, not the actual mother
sooo.... in this universe, cuddling is the equivalent to constant orgasms?
4839694
LOL! I loved this story, it was hilarious!
will you ever make one when a human denies it?
4840187
Maybe
4840189
its still a maybe.
Love it, love it, LOVE IT!
This is funny, but after reading it. There's not really much left.
Sorry, but the world has been cuddled! Not much left but to wait for old age and death.
You can talk about the others who tried to escape, but that it really.
4840457
They don;t die, bliss without end literally means bliss without end.
End = Death
4840658 Wow
!
Well, there could be worst ways to spend your time
. Eric, that luckily bastard!
do Scootaloo, I wonder how she would ask for a cuddle?
Wow... and I thought it was done for, but this was hilarious.
*Blink*
...
It's gaining steam.
Life needs more cuddly goodness like this.
4841182
Huh...forgot about that fic to be honest
It's been far too long since it was updated, not that I can talk in some cases
This is really really really good. So lovely. *cuddles*
Your writing prowess is stunning.
I just worry that the next short story will be unable to recreate such brilliance.
Cutest. Apocalypse. Ever.
How about, Green power ranger and nightmarity?
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▒█░░░ ▒█░ ▒█▀▄░ ▒█▀▀▀ ▒█▄▄█ ▒█▀▀▄ ▒█░░▒█ ░▀▀▀▄ ░▀▀▀▄
▒█▄▄█ ▄█▄ ▒█░▒█ ▒█▄▄▄ ▒█░▒█ ▒█▄▄█ ▒█▄▄▄█ ▒█▄▄▄█▒█▄▄▄█
Eh, this isn't my cup of literary tea, to be honest -- don't get me wrong, it is fairly well-written, but I've never been a fan of the whole "ponies subjugating humanity/Earth" thing people have hard-ons for, benevolent or not.
You know, I've never seen a story where humanity mysteriously begin to purposely show up in Equestria for a benign reason -- no conquest, no sexual invasion, etcetera.
Ponies have no idea why these bipeds are doing the odd things they do, and it's freaking them out.
4841515 eyup
Um okay, that was something else.
Meh 7/10★
Makes me think of the Aparoids from Star Fox Assault.
Great one-shot. Though the ending was kind of weak because it didn't have the same momentum the rest of the story did.
img1.ak.crunchyroll.com/i/spire2/431fbc4357d67cb7d6d2e92285b2adc41338406438_full.png
Or, to put it in 5 words...
I have no idea how you come up with this but I like it. Cuddle apocalypse.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw1225_small.jpg
4849484 maybe in this story the ponies here are semi-parasites, thus kind of acting like Lisa's perpetual motion machine in The Simpsons. There's a battery which powers a piston which powers the battery, which then powers the piston........
4850426 emperor rarity?!