Whatever you call it
Later that evening, spike sat in front of the window, looking up into the clouds and daydreaming. A goofy smile spread across his face as he watched the sunset. Suddenly a pang of guilt hit him. How could he have gotten over rarity so easily? Had she really ever meant anything to him? Or was her pretty face all he had liked about her? He also felt slightly embarrassed that he had asked applejack out. He wouldn't be able to face her for a while now. He then smiled again. He was going out... with rainbow dash! He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice when twilight came into the room, a suspicious smile on her face.
"Why so happy spike?" the purple unicorn looked at spike, curiosity in her violet gaze. It had been a while since she had seen spike this exited.
"I found a date for hearts and hooves day!" Spike's grin became wider as he looked at twilight. "Guess who?" twilight tossed her mane and answered without the littlest hint of hesitation.
"Rarity?" Twilight knew that rarity was the only pony who could possibly make spike THIS exited. He was practically bouncing off walls. Well, sort of. Twilight had to admire his balance between his excitement and his responsibilities. All his chores were done ahead of schedule. Twilight knew that whoever the young drake was taking, she must be smart, responsible, patient...
"No, Rainbow dash!"
"What!?" Twilight felt her jaw drop at spike's news. "You... and rainbow dash!?" Twilight was shocked. Rainbow dash was the last person she would expect someone like spike to like. Spike spun in a circle happily.
"Yep!"
"well... that's great spike!" twilight backed away quickly, starting to go down the stairs in reverse. "Call if you need anything!" And twilight disappeared around the corner and out of spike's view. Spike shrugged.
"Well she seemed a little worked up about something." spike decided not to worry too much about it. Twilight was probably just startled that he had gotten over rarity so easily. But he was done with rarity. If she didn't like him, at least rainbow dash did. And at that moment, dash was all the rarity he needed. He stopped himself and sighed. Rainbow dash had said they were going as friends. He was getting ahead of himself. Spike still smiled all the way to sleep. He still had a special some-pony.
Spike woke up the next morning so ecstatic that he could barely see straight. He quickly ran a claw over his scales. He took a deep breath, remembering for the millionth time that rainbow dash did say they were only going as friends. She wouldn't care too much about how he looked... right? spike didn't have anymore time to worry, for her heard his bedroom window being opened as rainbow dash flew inside. "Hey dash!" spike suddenly looked nervous. "It.. it is OK if I call you that... right?" 'dash,' started to laugh as she said,
"Of course its OK spike! We're cool." spike breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thanks."
Rainbow dash smiled and spread her wings, eyes sparkling.
"Get on my back! Lets fly to the dance!" spike looked surprised. In his excitement, he had nearly forgotten about the special-some-ponies dance. And, as silly as it sounded, he had certainly forgotten that rainbow dash had wings. And he didn't think that twilight would just love the idea of him flying off.
"Shouldn't I at least tell twilight I'm leaving?"
"Nah. The egghead will know where we are." rainbow dash looked at spike, excitement bubbling up in her voice. "Hop on!"
"Ok..." spike cautiously hopped onto the blue Pegasi's back and could barely grab her forelock before she took off, flying straight back the window and not bothering to close it behind her. Dash flew so fast, spike was gripping on for dear life, but part of him wanted to shout in joy. Being a wingless dragon, flying was an awesome experience. Suddenly rainbow dash took a nose dive towards the ground and landed just outside of the area where the dance would be held. Legs shaking, spike hopped off of dash's back and landed safely, if not a little dizzily, on the ground.
"Was that the fastest you've ever flown,sSpike?" rainbow dash tossed her mane and grinned at spike.
"Definitely!" spike smiled back at rainbow dash, realizing for the first time that rainbow dash was just as beautiful as rarity. Because rainbow dash was beautiful on the inside. Suddenly a question hit him. "Why did you choose to go out with me? Couldn't you have gone with soarin'? Or big mac? Or-"
Rainbow dash cut spike off with a sigh. "Because... well, to tell you the truth, I've liked you for a long time. Since I met you, in fact. You can be an egghead at times, but you're a different kind of egghead. You're a cool egghead. And you never give up, like me. I think we have a lot in common!"
Suddenly rainbow dash looked at spike with those beautiful magenta eyes and said,
"Hey spike. remember when I said we could just go as friends? Well, I say this is whatever you call it." And with that, rainbow dash kissed spike quickly on the cheek. A deep blush spread across spike's face and he looked at rainbow dash. Rainbow smiled and rolled her eyes at the arena in which the dance was being held. "I don't really like dancing anyway. Lets go for a fly around ponyville!" spike snapped to after a moment of surprised shock. He grinned and hopped on dash's back without further hesitation. And they together flew into the bright sky full of hope.
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Names must ALWAYS be capitalised!! NO EXCEPTIONS! You're just capitalising them at the beginning of a sentence, UNACCEPTABLE!!
So seriously, names must always have a capital letter!
Rainbow Dash not rainbow dash
Spike not spike
Twilight Sparkle not twilight sparkle
Pinkie Pie not pinkie pie
Fluttershy not fluttershy
Applejack not applejack
Rarity not rarity
One of the basic rules of literature.
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Sooo.... I don't really know.
I'm sorry, but i'm extremely confused now. I just got an opinion from vexy saying the exact opposite thing.
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He said the exact same thing I did, just worded it differently.
Oh boy,,A set up for a "Cat" pony fight
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Apologies for the confusion. When I said
I was referring to this specific piece of writing. In this story, you often did not capitalize proper nouns when you should have. Proper nouns must always be capitalized. Always. There is no exception.
Common nouns, such as pegasus (people often mistake pegasus for Pegasus, the mythical creature from Greek mythology, from which the former is derived), bowl, cup, spoon, etc. are not capitalized because they're... well... common.
I iterate this and more. This second chapter literally came out of nowhere, slapped me on the face, called me a whore and left me sobbing alone in bed at night.
This sudden burst of affection came from literally NOWHERE! The only way this scene could have been more contrived is if Rainbow Dash had flat-out pronounced her undying love for Spike:—"Spike, I love you, my little snugglemuffin! I've loved you since the day you were born! I've loved you since the first episode in which you were introduced!"
Okay, no. But she does actually say that she's liked him since she first met him... there's just two real big issues with that... how come she's never even hinted at these feelings until now, and what's suddenly triggered her to ask Spike out now? Those two questions are left completely unanswered by this story, floating around my head like lonely poems...
I'd like to see these questions addressed, certainly. I'd also like to see some actual conflict in this story. So far, all's been going great for our two protagonists. Not a single hurdle has come there way. I think that now's a good time for be to direct you to some useful links on how to write shipping. Bookplayer often writes incredibly insightful blogs on the matter, but I'm going to direct you to FamousLastWords' guides. His guides are much more robust, offering advice that is much more applicable to novice authors. The one to read is most certainly Cuddle Chemistry: How To Write A Good Romance.
Please give that a read. It should help you with your writing vastly.
Once you've given that a read, do give Bookplayer a checkout. She's awesome and writes very insightful blogs. My favorite one is most definitely The One Thing All Romances / Ship Fics Need To Have. There is more to a relationship than merely a relationship.
Finally, the only other advice I can offer is to read other romance stories and see how they execute romance. I see you have no favorites. Whether that is because you do not favorite stories or because you do not read, I know not. However, reading is critical for writing. How can one write well if one does not read well, hm?
Alas, I have no real links for that last one. Perhaps the SpikeDash Gold folder? I literally went through my favorites, looking for shipfics that stood out to me as both particularly well-written and relevant, but I've struggled. Kindred Spirits is a fantastic story, albeit an adventure... Perhaps Cynewulf's A Lady Does Everything With Feeling? I suppose that's a predisposed relationship...
Eh, your best bet is to just go out and search for reading material yourself. You know what you like to read, after all.
I'm going to stop typing now. I always do this. I ramble.
(Rambling's kinda cool...)
A bit rushed and grammar could use some work but it's a decent fic.
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but I do understand the feeling about no conflict and the next chapter is called the quarrel XD so... I think you'll like it better. I do read alot, I just don't often favorite stories....
Thanks for the advice! that comment was pretty intense..
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Thankesh!
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>0 faves
As for the next chapter, I'll keep reading, don't worry, but you'll really want to think about why your characters are acting the way they are. After all, it is a little strange that Rainbow Dash is being so forward with these feelings for seemingly no reason. I'm interested to see why she's suddenly felt confident enough to ask Spike out this Hearts and Hooves Day.
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Oh yeah and vexy? That video XD
_breaks the replay button_
Please use captils letters like Spike, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack
Oh yeah, i look forward for others chapthers!
I'm interested. Ill fave for now.
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Thankies! I'm aiming for getting the third chapter out when I get done with another fic I'm working on called "falling so quickly"
I'm glad you all like it!