When generosity fails...Greed takes over
When loyalty is questioned.... Betrayal overrules
When kindness falls..... rage corrupts all
When honesty is lost..... lies are created
When laughter is no more..... pain takes over
When magic is forgotten.... harmony falls
When harmony falls......Darkness invades
Without the order needed to control the harmony.... the darkness will always take over and the hope will be lost within the darkness
it is pretty good so far id read it if you made more
PS: never wake a sleeping me ether u may loose a arm
I saw a few errors, grammer errors, but the mane thing was you need to capitalize their names. All of them. It's great tho! I will read it as it progresses!
Didn't comment on this earlier, but besides a few errors here and there, it seems really interesting! I hope you publish it, bro.
4808415 lol yea
4823495 lol I finally finished the first chapter
4809830 thanks
oooo I'm interested in this story... another new fav
4982216 thanks
You have caught my attention
4982540 thanks
I think you mean Rebellion...
4982657 Or betrayal even. Traitors betray loyalties.
4982715
Yeah, betrayal sounds better....
Why is this under romantic comedy? (In the spikedash group)
Oooooo how interesting. You, sir, have gotten my attention.
4982757 that's a secret
4982715
4982718
Yea I think I'll change it to that, I couldn't think of any other good names that would work
4985850 it's just that most looking for romantic comedies aren't going to want to read something labeled as a tragedy.
4985853
Glad to help :3
4986140 well i put the trajedy part because of whats going to happen to the mane six
Noooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo o ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
4990833
Hey I just was FREAKING out okay?
4991115 ok
4985853
4986342
Ditto.
EDIT: I'm looking this over again, and yet, it still doesn't quite fit, so I looked up some synonyms online, and I found "Treachery," and "Treason." I think this is the best case scenario here...
4982757
I'm going to second this point here. Considering this story has no actual SpikeDash shipping just yet, it feels a little unjust to "tease" a romantic relationship in a tragic story. I came for the SpikeDash and found none.
5010641 that's because the story is just starting
5010686
I suggest next time you add a story to group folders as they become applicable.
5010718 yea
5010728 This is actually a interest concept. Please say there is more to come... It is like a new take on things... Not bad... not bad at all...
What happens next?!?!
7119265 I'm sorry, I'm just stuck atm, I need inspiration