the ponies... thry tell me things... buetiful things...
So im just chillaxing on the couch playing Pokemon blue and trying get my hands on a Mew when my Game Boy somehow fall under the couch and well...
Apparently thier IS a wormhole under peoples couchs...
And it turns out mine leads to equestria.
This is why I can't have nice things...
Rewrighting.
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Wow. The irony in that. That is possibly the most amusing way for one to enter Equestria ever.
You know, for someone's first story being a poor grammar'd description crossover HIE through a portal.
idk why.
I can excuse this one.
I already love this. Please Continue. Please.
Wait, this was proofread?
Eh, what the heck? I'm curious. I'll see where this goes.
Interesting idea and I genuinely am interested to see where this goes.
However, your grammar and writing skills are in need of a training.
Okay.... That... Was something... I guess?
So, the grammatical State of this story is close to what I would classify as trollfic, and I would suggest to get a proper proofreader, if you want to make something serious out of this fic. Unless it's supposed to be a trollfic, of course.
Also, I don't know about you, but I think a 'Comedy' tag would fit this story.
I have one question...
Is this LoHAV or LoHAH?
Please improve spelling
Besides that, I like where this is going
It's still hard to focus on the story when the grammar is so bad; you even messed up on the I's
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but the grammar is actually genuinely bad on this
If you want AIDS, read this story. 10/10 would become HIV+ again.
If I could actually bring myself to read this, I would likely give this a thumbs down just from grammar alone. Do you not know capitalization rules for titles? Do you not know the difference between their, there, and they're?
Reading the introduction/summary HURT. Like... my eyes are actually rebelling against me right now. I just...
Please, for the sake of all the other HiE as Pokemon fics out there... Clean this up.
can you guys please try to keep the criticizim constructive
its not my fault i was born with dyslexia
4553859 No it ain't my friend. A damn shame. It's hard to make something so amazingly grammartastic with that. Grammar doesn't make the story though, the heart does. And this definitely has some effort and thought put into it. It's funnier than some comedy stories that have been featured if you look at it the right way, and it's a great start. I'm sure a professional proofreader in The Pokemon Group would be glad to help you, or even in the big and fancy Writer's Group which I'm sure you can find no problemo.
Write on, my friend. I look forward to more. And congrats on your first fic reaching the popular box to the right on the front page.
4552426
Assuming its either. It could just be an old-fashioned HiE.
4554100 im on the fence with this one cant decied...
The concept is pretty good, but a few questions must be answered.
1. MLP was playing on the TV, yet he has no idea where he is or who the ponies are. (If I read this correctly). Does he simply not watch the show and it was on via pure coincidence? Or has his brain simply not rebooted from being teleported.
2. I like the fact that he's a Mew, but how is he able to use telepathy? Assuming that he wasn't one in the real world, I just don't get when characters in these sorts of situations can use their new powers without knowing how they work or why they have them in the first place. Look at it this way, if someone how has never been able to walk was suddenly given the ability to do so, then it would still take weeks, even months of practice before they could even do so.
3. Get yourself an editor and a pre-reader or two. Editors will help with any grammar and spelling mistakes you have while proof readers can help point out any plot-holes and offer suggestions towards the story itself.
4. Never talk about /b/
5. You probably need to expand a little more on this chapter. The main character has no reaction whatsoever to becoming a Mew, or even how and why he came to be in Equestria. He just starts ranting at the mane six, not even knowing if they are the ones at fault or not. I'd would have expected his reaction to be more along the lines of confusion, rather that explosive anger.
6. A more personal nitpick, how was he even catching a Mew on Blue version? It's not even possible without a cheat device.
That's about all for now. Get and editor, get this fic cleaned up and it'll have some serious potential. Good luck my friend.
4554121
1. right idea on the rebbot
2. Nintendo logic plus mew can essentilly do anything anyways, bsides i always thought untargetd telepathy was just yelling what you wanted heard in your head
3. no comment
4. correct
5. more of raging at lifes sick sense of humor
6. ever heard of the Mew glitch?
My overall thoughts:
Mmmmmm... Could use a little polish, in terms of some of the grammar.
(Though I am sympathetic to your dyslexia plight. My Dad was born dyslexic, too, and that was something he had to learn to work past. Thank goodness my mother is/was a gifted speller to balance out the genes.)
But where you lack in that field, you make up for in entertainment value. It is entertaining enough for me to ignore the stuff I'd normally nit-pick at.
I'll give you the benefit of a doubt.
One thing that bugs me about this chapter; YOU FUCKED UP THE SYNTAX IN THE TITLE!!!!!! Correct syntax would be C:\> run Dafuq.exe
Maybe it's just because I work with computers and am familiar with command line, but it still bugs me. Other than that, I look forward to next chapter. What with the telepathy and all.
4554144 There is no Mew glitch.
[edit] Oh, fuck me sideways... whaddya know?!
4554109 Wait, are you actually making this a LoHAV/H story? Doesn't seem like it needs it.
Also, for a guy with dyslexia, this story looks awesome. Still, I recommend that you get an editor. Here's a group you could use.
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5p84ttSPnQ]
I think you might need another proofreader.
4554144 I would be happy to do #3 for you
I have done it many times before
4557774 by all means go ahead
This was amusing. It could really do with a solid proofread, though it is tolerable in the current state. Watched for now; may or may not be favorited.
The grammar... It BURNS my eyes.
Seriously though you NEED a proofreader.
mew...the ultimate troll pokemon...
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130224135055/random-ness/images/5/50/Vector_dis_gon_b_gud.gif
THIS is why you travel by BUBBLE.
the colors!
4558788 i beleve you where looking for this?
static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11115/111150904/3803111-4527376317-full..gif
as long as you don't make pinkie go crazy doesn't matter
ohh oohh you could make Wynona think the CMC are puppies
or steal all the salt from the pubs and replace it with sugar
or steal celestia crown and other shinnies ALSO ROB BLUEBLOOD and shove him out a window 1-2 stories preferably and catch and hang him 3 or feet in the air.
see if he panics and faints and hopefully gets
or has an accident 
4558965
1. agreed, cupcakes = DO NOT WANT
2. nnot aure how to do that without it comeing across as malicios
3. BLOODY GENUISS you my sir have won an internet cookie
computerhousedial.com/images/cookie.png
im so useing that
4. will see about the tormenting Blueblood part, he deserves it, anypony else dosnt
>be OP
>be on talking pony fanfic site
>write a story
>it's about a kid turning into a Pokemon
>errors like fucking crazy
>shouldn't have even gotten past moderation
>get a ton of upvotes anyway
>be me
>autism mode activated
>poop already smeared on walls
>hands already flapping
>screaming like a klaxon
>shoving sonic plushie up ass
this is what you did to me
are you proud of yourself
4558998
What do you think
And you think you are the only autistic person
I used a tails plushy like everyone else
... pretty please...
Love it.
Articuno does not approve.
Like everyone has said, find yourself an editor right away.
While grammar and spelling definitely need a proofreader the humor is still consistent with the previous chapter. I like the idea of the story but I do recommend some fine tuning
4558946 meh all those gifs are pretty good XD
4558998 you think YOU have it bad...
try have autisim AND dyslexia
then we'll take about it
4562191
WELL YOU TRY BEING A QUADRUPLE AMPUTEE WITH SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS K
4562199 dude not funny... im was being serios here, that was just plain wrong
4562231
Why don't you believe me?
4562242 1. theris no such thing as super ultra mega AIDS
2. you contradicted your previos post about 'flapping your arms around'
4562256
I was speaking in metaphors.
4562259 if you want to flame keep it to a pm so othrs dont have read this inane shit
A huge improvement on the grammar in the last chapter!
The only really big thing is that you need to capitalize your I's
4562263
Why are you being so cruel and hurtful by bulling me?