Imagine you were alone. Imagine you had no memories. You were in pain and just when you thought it couldn't get worse, you looked up and saw the face of the devil himself. And it was you. You tried to help them but they were afraid of you. Out of fear they locked you away. You made a decision that day. If they would fear you and reject you they would get what they wanted. A demon lord.
Edit: 1st chapter to be redone by SurpriseKitty who is helping make the story better (its kinda becoming a collab. but dont worry its not going to affect the plot)
Character based of the Ninetails boss in Okami
note inspired by: LoHaV
Chapters (4)
Intesting.... you have my attention.
3998703 Thank you for the compliment and more is coming wahat happens in the next chaper will blow minds. and everything else in a 20 mile radius
Okami? You sir, are a very refined individual, Okami is amazing.
On the other hand, from looking at your summary, I think you need a editor... a good one. I mean no offense, its just that spelling can make or break a story. I took the liberty to try and correct some errors from your summary -
Since your beginning a sentence, Basically needs to be capitalized, also remember to capitalize your I's, I is never lowercase except within a word or name. Should be - I bought an
Okami is a title of a game, it should be captilized - from Okami and
Equestria is a nation, it should be captilized - Equestria
I... you need to clarify what you mean by this sentence, I kind of understand what your trying to say, but it isn't clear enough. Also, you need to capitalize Discord, since its his name. Oh, and you also need to put a comma between for and me
-Edit- Nevermind, I know what your trying to say, it should be "Discord soured the Royal Sisters view of me" - The way you wrote it was confusing and gave the impression that Discord soured their views in general, not their views of one individual.
I know your trying to signify someone sighing... but there are more eloquent ways of doing it rather than simply putting the action into asterisks. Remember that you can use commas, "What am I to do" isn't a complete sentence, also, his powers don't make him a pain in the ass, he chooses to be a pain in the ass, the sentence should be- What am I to do... oh, I know, I can use my powers to be an enormous pain in the ass for the both of them
Hm, I really don't have anything to say about this other than the fact you misspelled they, by forgetting the y. The laughing is a bit odd, but workable I suppose. - For all I know, the way you did the laughing is perfectly fine, it just seems a bit awkward -
Keep in mind, I'm not trying to be mean to you, I'm just trying to help you fix your mistakes - The concept of this story is good, just keep working on it. Remember, get a editor or a beta-reader.
PS: Don't blindly use spellcheck, I don't know if you do, but its just a word of caution, it has felled many a writer...
3999305 And below me we have the nicest grammar Nazi in history. I'm joking and thank you for your advice will take it and use it to make me better. stach for you
3999343
No problem, if you would like, I can go over the first chapter and PM you corrections and such, with explanations of course - Wouldn't want you to be unsure if corrections are correct or not.
Or I could always post here, I have no preference either way.
3999354 Sure go ahead also i may message you if i need a beta reader
3999357
Mkay then, I will be sure to PM you those corrections sometime tomorrow, I have to get going to tonight.
Also, I don't mind about the beta-reader thing, anything to help you out - There is a dreadful lack of Okami stories and this one seems promising.
3999369 Kewl and again thanks
Good... Good...
nice base for up coming chapters, waiting for them
Interesting chapter, but it seems something ate quite a bit of your formatting.
A lot of spaces between paragraphs missing at the moment.
I do wonder why the Celestia and Luna would so quickly accept somebody that identifies with the label of 'demon,' but other than that and the formatting nothing really to complain about. Will be interesting to see where you go from here.
4197315 well they don't know about the whole demon thing yet. Also I have always belived that Celestia and Luna believe that everything is good until proven otherwise.
Interesting start, eager to see where this leads to.
4202188 Glad you like it
4202188 its an autobiography
4202465 So at some point in the future of this story, you'll get acces to a computer.
And you won't die.
4203819 No the computer thing happens after the events of the story. And of course i won't die I am a demon lord not some weakling.
4203828 Don't underestimate the power of a decently written death scene.
4204596 It won't be my death that is written
4204859 And more and more details get revealed. I'm eager to see what follows.
Interesting chapter. To be honest, I find it a bit strange that the Sisters are speaking normal English and not Archaic, like Luna in the series...
4207079 To be completely honest that is because I am too friggin lazy to write that way.
Another good chapter.
4214814 Glad you like it. The next one will have some action though
I see only one problem with this chapter, and that is the Timeline. Ponyville was founded by Granny Smith's family when she was the same age as the Mane 6. She's old, but nowhere near 1000 years old. Ponyville would not exist in the same timeframe as Sombra's rule or before Luna's banishment.
4242864 When you see what happens in the next chapter it might clear up some of that confusion. Lets just say that this isn't granny smiths pnoyville
4243057
Alright...I'll trust you on this.
Well my favourite boss in the game i think. I like it and i think i would like the idea if he make some slaves like pet slaves out of some ponys maybe if he is going to be really mad. I would like it either if he would suddenly appear to be a good guy/fox somewhere in the middle of the Story maybe. Then he have to show that he deserve the trust of the ponies. I just want to tell what i have in my mind right now, it would maybe give a lot more or a second story to write if he turn out to be a good guy later.
4248531 Well I plan on him trying to help the ponies but end up causing a catastrophe instead. This leads to him being imprisoned and he decides to get revenge. However his lack of any memories coupled with his growing hatred leads to him going a bit insane in his efforts to try and remain in reality. A thousand years is a long time to sit by yourself with nothing to reflect on.
It is my first dark theme story but i like ninetale so i think it can be that bad.
Maybe it would be fun at least to see another side a darker one.
I am ok with him beeing a bad guy but i don´t know if he has to be really insane, or at least not for to long.
I would prefer a smart and calm villain who tried to make the kingdom his own and maybe slave a few ponys. Maybe there would be something like a cult for him or something like a insane pony servant who is more than pleased in helping him with his task.
Sorry it is probably not my decision but i get a litte excitet by this interesting story and want to try at least to make a proper offer for later chapters.
4248842 He is smart and calm and never looses that demeanor. The insanity only really happens while imprisoned and is what drives him to punish Celestia.
4248888 sorry somehow i managed to forget it, i think you try to mention it befor too.
Well it´s late so my brain is finish for tonight i think
Well there is nothing else to say than keep up the good work.
4248930 Thanks and I will.
you may want to write parts where he's thinking to himself in italics. Book writers tend to do this, and it would be better understood where the break is between thought and reality. Also, don't be afraid to make new paragraphs, or add commas. You seem to be a really good writer, you just have some slight problems with grammar.
4249584 Yeah grammar was always my weakest area. The main reason I don't italicize his thoughts is that there another voice in his head that used that so I wanted to differentiate from his thoughts and the voice without having to say it every freaking time.
why so less update
WILL SEE MORE, later
I start to like the story, and i know it needs time to write a good chapter but do you get another chapter finish soon? I just want to ask because i would like to read more.
4509797 I am sorry but I am having a hard time figuring out how to end the chapter. Either I will have a lead in to the next chapter that will have a fight or I will do the fight in this chapter. Other than that it is pretty much done.
4510582 ok, well i know you maybe put high standarts in this story, but i would even be ok with a calm chapter again. Well like i said i understand it because i also only get piece after piece done at my own fanfic, i wonder how long it would really take myself, but i don´t can find the time to concentrate at my fanfic compleat, because i have start 2-3 fanfics and it would be my first. I just could not decide which one i like more but the first one would only be a try.
to make it short i think i understand how hard it could be, and if you want to read other fanfics as well like myself, it is even harder
4510650 I appreciate your understanding. Also thank you.
Your benevolent lord Ninetails
A COMPLETE idiot put a more or less peaceful demon in a situation where its blood would awaken
know those you are about to send them to fight BEFORE you send them off to fight but then again this IS the mare that puts Shining Armor in the lead guard position when his main qualifications are as follows: 
I rest my case
Being Twilight's brother and Caddie's boyfriend
4520691 eh she isn't aware of the whole demon thing yet. Also Shining was able to hol an impressive shield for quite a while when his strength was being drained. Still no reason for him to be captain but hey.
That was rather short lived. When you mentioned an Ursa, I was expecting a battle of giants, where the two would duke it out and cause massive amounts of collateral damage. Instead it was just... BAM! dead Ursa, with a decimated village on the side. I'm slightly disappointed.
4523596 heh well I never intended the Ursa to be a major threat. It was simply strong enough to anger him but not so much an epic fight would happen. The upcoming battle with the two sisters on the other hand. That fight will be a majority of the chapter.
4523622 I am ok with it, well i was suprised about his final Attack, because i can´t remember if it is an regular Attack or something you came up with for the story. I haven´t see that coming, that he killed half of the village if i understand it right, but why not it only help the story to earn her Dark tag i suppose.
I can´t really say why, but i really want that he, i mean if he maybe enslave the ponies, that he get himself a few servants. A few of them could fear him and maybe he get on or two really bad psychos who love to do what he have in mind.
Hmm the story somehow don´t get boring for me. I read a few storys till now, and even if they are written really good only a few earned my....let say second and true like.
4525583 HALF pffffffffffffffffft hahahahahhahah. No he killed the WHOLE village. He isn't trying to get slaves or kill ponies. His anger simply got the better of him and he unleashed his full power without considering the collateral. Also I am glad you enjoy my story so much.
4525832 well that´s probably why i always try to sneak in ideas.^^
I really enjoy it, and it seems like i can´t stop saying it.
Ok i thought probably that it would maybe even darker if someone has to suffer a while.
I let you suprise me, i don´t read many Dark story´s yet but there is always some sick thing in it.
I just say keep up the good work.
And well it seems that i read a bit to fast there, somehow i don´t get it right away that they are all death.