Bonus: Colored Leaves
The wind was blowing through the autumn trees, picking up golden leaves and scattering them like glitter on a card, all the while leaving a storm as beautiful as a candle flame. Sitting underneath an oak was a fair gray pegasus. Her youthful appearance disguised her true age, which was evidenced by the second figure. Huddled against Derpy Hooves was a smaller pony, a unicorn filly. Her pale lavender coat and spiked straw mane were reminiscent of her mother. Both their eyes were transfixed on single orange leaf which waltzed slowly to the ground. Finally Dinky Hooves spoke.
"Mommy, why aren't you running this year?"
Derpy blinked, carefully formulating her reply. She could just say she didn't feel like it, which was the truth, but she felt there was more to it than that. As she thought the leaf continued to dance back and forth, bounced up by each gush out of the wind. At last she came up with an explanation and brought it out without taking her gaze off the leaf.
"You see that leaf?"
"Yeah."
"Well, do you remember when it was green?"
Dinky stalled and scrunched her nose, confused at the question.
"Well, I don't know. I'm not sure if I've ever seen that leaf before."
Derpy closed her eyes. She knew she would have probably have ended up thinking the same thing.
"Okay, do you remember when most the leaves were green?"
This clarification of the question did little to unscrunch Dinky's face.
"Yeah, of course I do."
Derpy took in a deep breath and continued.
"Well, the leaves were green for most of the year, working hard to help the trees. Eventually they get tired and have to stop to rest for the winter. However, the leaves decided to change up the change of pace for a season. They decide to turn from green to brown, yellow, orange and red. "
Dinky watched as the leaf they were following hit the ground and then her gaze moved to a second one.
"I remember Cheerilee talking about something like that once, but mom, you still haven't answered my question."
"Well, I feel like I'm a leaf. I've been running with the leaves for years, and this time I want to try some different."
Derpy then let out a small chuckle.
"Besides, Celestia has the leaves change so that the ponies can enjoy their beauty, and I want to see what the leaves look like from this perspective, where I can get a better view."
Derpy then turned away from the falling leaves for a second to look at her daughter. Her beautiful daughter. She was now surrounded by a light layer of leaves which served to gild the foal. The unicorn stood out like an amethyst in a pool of gold. Derpy couldn't help, but smile, especially after she heard what her daughter said next.
"The leaves are pretty. I'm glad you can see them, you're pretty too."
Derpy pulled Dinky closer and snuggled her, but the foal pushed out of her grasp. After a moment of silence Dinky spoke again, only this time it was more of a mumble.
"Today a colt tripped me. He then called me a retard and said that you should never have been allowed to marry daddy. Why did he say that? Why did he do that to me? Why must I be different?"
This stopped Derpy cold. This rendered her speechless. Not just because she didn't know what to say, but because she couldn't speak at all. She felt too awful, this dragging pull at her core tearing her down. She remembered what it was like all those years ago, what they said and did to her. She also remembered what it was like, to not be able to speak. How hard it once was to move her mouth to form the consonants and vowels, and even harder to push air through her throat without shrieking.
It hurt. She thought she had killed these demons when she had found her mother, but they were here to stay. All she could do was follow the leaves as she brooded. And follow the leaves she did. She traced their every movement, and calculated their next one. Through the movements of the leaves she could practically see the very wind itself. Soon enough she was able to calm herself down, and then she managed to once again use to leaves to formulated a metaphor.
"You..said...the leaves...are pretty."
She then picked an yellow-brown leaf with her wing.
"Do you....think this leaf...is pretty?"
Dinky thought for a second.
"Well, yes, but it looked prettier when it was moving around with the other leaves."
Derpy then crushed the leaf into dust before Ditzy's eyes. She imagined it was the bully, but that's not what it was going to be in the metaphor.
"It's also very fragile. Not everyone can sees the leaf's beauty. They might also hate it because it does not provide for the trees in the way that they did when they were green. They might take advantage of the leaves fragility and destroy it because they cannot comprehend its true purpose, its real beauty."
Derpy then picked up a deep orange leaf.
"But just because he can't see it's purpose doesn't mean it doesn't have one. Look at this leaf."
She then gestured out to the following leaves surrounding them."
"Now look at the forest. Isn't it beautiful? Even if the leaf doesn't know where it belongs in the forest it still has it's purpose. The forest needs the leaf to be beautiful. Dinky, that bully might not be able to see it, but I want you to know that you are the most beautiful leaf in the entire forest, and you are important."
Dinky stared at her mother for a moment, than blurted out "You're wrong." With that she levitated the leaf out of the perplexed mail mare's hoof and placed it behind the older pony's ear.
"You are the most beautiful leaf in the forest."
And with that Dinky cuddled up to her mother's side. Together they stayed and watched until the last leaf fell down.
I was just looking back at my story today to check on it's statistics and I noticed that the author's note chapter was unpublished. I had that written because I was planning that chapter before the chapter notes feature was added, and I forgot to delete the chapter when I finally released the author's notes on April 2nd. Before I released what I was doing I hit the publish button because I thought somehow I forgot to publish the chapter, but then I remembered what I did and unpublished chapter. I then checked the main page and noticed that too my horror that story was bumped to the top of recently updated storied when I didn't actually add anything. I know this is against the rules, this is an accident, please don't delete my story!
As a consolation for my stupidity, I'll write a little random anecdote off of the top of my head.
Also, I'm adding this at the suggestion of a commenter. Considering it's about Derpy it fits surprisingly well.
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I don't think they will punish you for a mistake like that man.
2842583
I'm going to finish writing this anyways because I've gotten random inspiration from stress, lol.
I want to hear her reasoning for this so go and do with the thing.
2842861
It's really stupid because it's just something I pulled off the top of my head. Anyway, I'll make it clear once they are finished. Unfortunately because I accidentally published this I have to torture you with the half finished version.
Derpy approves this story
omg this is awesome already!!!!
2843115
If you are reading Chapter 6 it's not finished yet, read the notes so you see why.
Check again in a few minutes, it will be finished soon.
2842583>>2842861>>2842885>>2842895>>2843115
It's finished now.
This chapter is really good for something you pulled out of nowhere.
Very well made, nice cuteness and a strong metaphor. Through 'Even if the leave' the 'leave' is meant to be the 'leaf'
2843254
Optional edit, but this phrase reeks like something the Department of Redundancy Department might release:
perspective, where I can get a better perspective:
If you want to, I suggest that you change the last word to "view," unless this is supposedly part of her speech patterns, so is forgivable.
In other news, it was a nice fluffy chapter. Dinky is best daughter.
The only thing I could think of while I was reading this, was the song Autumn by JackleApp.
2843278
Thanks. It always seems the randomest things that I put out after months of thinking about the other things I need to write that turn out the best.
And I still haven't finished Doomflower yet....
2843309>>2843459
Fixed. No, that's not an artistic choice, just a lack of editing.
By all rights this really should be it's own story as it's told from a different point of view and isn't about the same conflict, it has it's own self contained thing, but I guess it's a little bit late for that now.
2843486
That song needs to be linked to because i'ts good.
2843923
Hey, it's not an evil story, it raises a point. If I didn't like that story I wouldn't have written this. I don't see this as fixing the story, considering Derpy is alive in the show it can be assumed the end to the story isn't as grim as it seems, I'm just extending it in one possible way.
After I read this story, my mind was filled with just FEELS FEELS FEELS.
Bravo, good sir or madam.
3046334
They are fine in hating it, in retrospect while I'm proud I managed to write this and it's a very feely story it isn't that well written and is leaching off of Bubbles.
off
Though terms are a bit contradictory, 'cause a glance is a brief look. If you don't take your look off, it's no longer a glance.
watching?
otherwise, sentence made little sense.
omit
I have no idea what you meant by this.
especially
should be a question mark, no?
her
its, for both of them
it's = it is
its = his/hers, possessive
then
forest
3050625 You still wrote a relatively unique story that was only based off the premise of another story, and not at all the same story. There's nothing wrong with taking the same premise, it's all about what you do with it. In fact, you did not "leech" off it, rather you took the idea and went even further.
3761154
I really need a damn proofreader.
*gaze, not glance
*following, not falling
or "I feel like I'm a leaf"
*gild, it means to coat in gold and its being used metaphorically here
Yeah, it should be a question mark.
Haven't made the changes yet, but should do it soon.
Well, people can still complain about it for those reasons if they want to.
EDIT: Fixed
3780789
4001087
Thank you.
After many years, I've finally decided to reread it to see if I can remember what plans I had for Take These Broken Wings. It's certainly an odd story, sickenly sweet with dynamic, almost Chekovian pacing, and a very unusual plot that was enforced by it's parasitic nature, but it's still better than I remember it being (also, damn, the writing style is different between the actual story and the bonus chapter, I must have aged a decade in the space of year). It has a lot of potential, but I don't think it's worthwhile to revise it in it's current form due to it's nature, if I were to revise I'd rewrite from scratch so that it's no longer fanfiction, but keep the same general plot arc. Part of the the problem is, I don't know if I CAN revise it, because I'm not the same person who I was back when I wrote it. I'm probably now as different from myself when I wrote my story as the Derpy in this story is different from the Derpy who wrote Bubbles. At this point, it's no longer my story to write. I guess the same goes for Take This Broken Wings, I don't know how to finish my own story, though I know roughly remember my plans for it. Maybe it's best if I past the torch off to someone else.