This is my attempt at writing some stories on my phone, as well as my second attempt at writing a fan fiction without the use of dialogue.
This is my attempt at writing some stories on my phone, as well as my second attempt at writing a fan fiction without the use of dialogue.
I would like to know what Dinky's plan is.
yeah love this story, specialy because of the differents points of bvew of a singlwe day
And What is Dinky planning?
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Oh, i never actually put much thought into her "plan" so to speak. I might do something with that later. Hmm... I have a few ideas.
Twilight would alway be busy with, what her assistant, Spike, had called, "Personal Matters." It was none of her business but she would always hear somepony moaning in the background and the sighing of a male pony.
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Soooooo.....Time Turner and Doctor Whooves exist in the same universe but are separate ponies...interesting....
A date was determined for the wedding. He was not aware until later that her previous husband had died on that date. She had insisted on that date. She told him later that she wanted to have a sad day, for her, turn into one of the most joyous days of her life.
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How would they have a grand galloping gala in cloudsdale? Wouldn't all the non-pegasus ponies just fall through the floor, even if they all had the cloudwalking spell, it seems like it would just be a lot of unnecessary work. The way you write it makes the couple seem like complete strangers to each other, they're married aren't they? Five months seems like an awfully short time to date someone before you get up and marry them. Also proposing to Derpy on the day she lost her husband seems a bit insensitive. I liked it, but felt A LOT of the story could have used some work. You could have focused on more of the climactic parts like when Derpy thought she saw Clockwork cheating on her. It would give more feeling to the story and pull your readers in. There were a lot of unanswered questions and just all around unnecessary information in the story.
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You are 100% correct. this was literally my first fanfiction ever and i appreciate your criticism.