He's so greaseball-y and she's so sleazy. They're made for each other in some weird cringeworthy way.

The unrelenting attempts to play each other may actually get rather annoying.

I really enjoyed watching Sheets wrap Barding around her hoof for most of the chapter. Still, I'm curious about Barding's past.

Aye, another "I just wasn't good enough" mistakes. Those can be quite hard to rectify, good luck Sheets!
Keep going! ;)

Two chapters in as many days? It must be my birthday!

Well, two major teases. One severely traumatized, other doing it (at least started that way) just for herself.
Still, they progressed somewhat in the end, and, so far, I like where this is heading

Not gonna lie, I definitely like Sheets' chapters more than Chains'. Which is surprising, since I really, really liked Chains' intro chapter. I really can't wait to see what Sheets and 'Mr. Messy Mane' have in store for them.

As Sheets lit several of the room’s lamps with her magic, she began to notice the slight sprinkling of dust on the living room chairs and the wooden coffee table. Sighing in slight annoyance, Sheets privately resolved to clean the room up sometime soon.

I like how Sheets and Lace are totally different in this regard. Sheets might have preferred Lance's place. No, she would have.

You definitely love details more than Comet, vren. I got a pretty vivid picture of Barding's manor. The teasing all serves a purpose, I see.

Back story... give it to me. Later.

Edit: chapter name is missing the "Sheets's Arc:" subtitle. Consistency

Sheets is a very naughty mare. I love her maid outfit and how she teases Barding and makes him do whatever she wants with a glimpse of flank.

5698791 many females do the same

A small look into it would be like "His shield didn't work, ponies died" but then you start to think about it "His shield didn't work, he watched many ponies die because he was wrong" then you start thinking how that could mentally damage someone. You start to think about how they really are broken. That's fucked up.

Read all the chapters today, can't wait for more.

This is some really great stuff, love the characters and the development so far. It all feels very natural. The way you have the girls manipulate the boys doesn't feel forced at all, which is a task i have seen many writers fail at. I am highly intrigued by your OC's. They are well fleshed out, and are all absolutely lovable. Keep up the good work.

This still in progress?

I need more!
This is too good to stop reading! I want more, like now

6566858 I'm thinking about how to rethink/rework the story because well.. the premise you have to admit is a bit illogical. :P

6567116
Illogical or not, just don't cancel it!
But, personally, I like it how it is

6567414 I'll see what I can do :P, no promises.

6567633
Eh...better than nothing

More ! !!!!!!!!

Oh hey, found this in limbo story.

Is it alive...?

When you find a story thats been forgotten for a few years, and you need more of it.

Not quite one for matures for the most part, but this one as a story has had me hooked since I first read it many years ago!
I really do hope that you might find time to continue the story as the characters present an interesting series of traits in their personalities, both shown and hidden!

9777928
It was less about a lack of time that I stopped and more of.... a realization i wasn’t mature to write this story and I’m not sure I can write this and not be hmmmn there were several problematic norms in the original plot.

Glad you liked the little there thoug

9777969
Perhaps a re-write to readjust the thematics and such, again its been a long while, so a re-read for me might come off a little differently as before, but the idea of how the characters would accomplish there goals is still interesting!
Still thanks for the reply!

9778032
The other issue is I'm a little leery of collaborating these days and this was a collab story. It didn't fall apart b/c Comet Burst is a bad person. He's a great guy, but we both ran into stuff we had to handle RL at around the same time. All the same, it'd be a rewrite of just Sheets's perspective.

Ah well, stuff like this happens all the time as a writer.

9778106
Hehe yeah, life does that, I've had plenty of bumps in the road while writing the next Roan book, so good times there!