Crazy, Clever and Cunning

by Fresnor

Crystal Trix

Too… much… pink… must… resist…

I had no idea how this could have happened, but when Pinkie Pie is involved it is usually best not to ask. Yet when there are a dozen of her bouncing around the place causing a mess while searching for fun, then asking is the only thing you can do. “What are you all doing here?”

One of them pauses long enough to answer, luckily the one trying to get inside after Selene and Umbra. “We’re looking for fun you know where we can find any and who are you?” I realize that these must not be the real Pinkie Pie if they don’t know me, and I come up with an idea I had want to try before, but I figured it was too cruel for Pinkie Pie. But since none of these are the real one and seem to be fakes of some kind I just start to grin wickedly.

“Oh I think I can find something fun for you all, but I need you to all sit in a group out here while I go get it.” This catches the attention of all of them who then line up in a semi-circle around me. As an extra precaution I make sure that they are literally glued to their seat with a spell as I go inside to fetch a book. I pause long enough to explain what little I know to two ponies inside as I pass.

“I have no idea what is going on, but those all seem to be fake Pinkie Pies. I’m not sure if it’s something Pinkie or Twilight did, seeing as Twilight would have the magic to do something like this, but I think I’m going to have a little fun with this.” The two look at each other and my wicked grin before backing off to find something in the house to do until it all blows over. As for me I quickly find the book I wanted and go outside to the waiting Pinkie Pies.

“So you all want something fun? Well this book is going to be a lot of fun to read, for me at least.” I chuckle at the gathered fakes who just continue to stare in glee, not realizing the horror they are about to go through. I clear my throat and begin to read. “Aardvark, a nocturnal mammal, Orycteropus afer, the sole member of its family ( Orycteropodidae) and order (Tubulidentata). It inhabits the grasslands of Zebrica, has long ears and snout, and feeds on termites.”

I continue on to the next word and the next as I watch the gathered Pinkies. They stare at me in confusion as I start and I watch as they slowly realize what I am reading. They attempt to run away but when they realize that they are stuck the whimpering begins. As I finish all the ‘A’ words and start on the ‘B’s some of them are already screaming. By the time I reach the ‘E’s one of them is trying to chew off their legs, while the others are in various stages of panic.

They breathe a sigh of a relief as I stop before the ‘F’ section and head back into the house. I can literally see the hope in their eyes shatter when I return with a pitcher of apple juice since my throat was getting dry. I glanced at the town and could see some sort of pink mist flying out of it and wondered if it had anything to do with what was going on. I continued my reading of the dictionary and was able to reach the ‘N’s when I saw Twilight and Rainbow Dash walking up, or in Rainbow’s case flying.

I wave to them as they look on in horror at the gathered Pinkie Pies in front of me. “There were still more of them? But I thought we rounded them all up and found the real Pinkie Pie already. Don’t tell me we left a fake back at Sugarcube Corner, and what in the world did you do to them?” Twilight looks as if she is about to break down into a panic attack as she says this and I just wave a paw at her.

“Oh don’t worry about any of these being the real one Twilight, none of them knew who I was so it’s obvious that they are all fakes. I have no idea where they came from and they just said they wanted some fun so I decided to have fun by reading this to them.” She calms down as I confirm that these can’t be the real one, but looks in askance at the book though Rainbow Dash beats her to responding.

“You were reading the dictionary to them? And I thought Twilight was the biggest egghead in town (Hey!) but that just takes the cake. I almost feel sorry for them now even if they aren’t the real Pinkie Pie.” She looks over at the gathered Pinkies and takes in their current condition. Not a single one of them seems to be able to do much beyond twitching, and a good many of them are drooling as well. I only now notice that the eyes of all of them have completely glazed over as well.

“Hmm, maybe I did go a bit too far, though I would have thought they could have lasted a bit longer than the start of ‘N.’” Rainbow Dash backs away in shock at this information while Twilight just brings a hoof to her face. I just laugh at their reactions as I turn the gathered Pinkie’s over to them. Soon enough Twilight had banished them away and I found out exactly what was going on.

Soon enough they left as they were checking on all the damage that was caused and I went back inside my home. I was surprised to see Selene in the window watching as they left, and wondered if she finally was over her fears.

<><><><><><><>

A few weeks alter I was on the train towards the Crystal Kingdom after receiving a letter from Princess Cadence. They had apparently been intrigued by what I had found and were interested in any help I could give them. I planned to be gone just long enough to set up a few things over there and find out what information they had as well. Applejack and Applebloom saw me off as they were waiting for a cousin of theirs to arrive in town at the same time.

The ride there was really boring as it took a few days to reach it. I was able to keep myself partially entertained by rotating multiple bubble-like shields around me as fast as I could to practice my fine control skills. It had been a while since I had practiced this, but I was surprised when I was able to reach two dozen of them without much strain at all. I wondered how many I could reach, but stopped at thirty as I started to lose control of them around there.

I think I may have scared a few of the other passengers with what I was doing, yet a couple foals seemed to think I was performing some sort of show. I decided to continue with that image by practicing some illusions I had learned from Trixie’s books. I was rather impressed by what I found in there when I was reading through them and wondered why she was wasting her talents by trying to outdo others so much.

I kept things mostly simple to entertain them, though I had been able to get some pretty lifelike images if I wanted to. After showing off with a mini-Rainbow Dash doing aerial stunts for a while the foals eventually fell asleep and were taken by their parents at their stop. Things from then on were quiet and boring as few were headed towards the Crystal Kingdom leading to many empty cars.

By the time the train reached the kingdom I was bored out of my mind and tempted to pull a few pranks. Luckily I didn’t even have to bother as my very presence was enough to allow for some entertainment. It seems that the crystal ponies have really been isolated for so long that they aren’t as used to the sight of beings that can eat meat other than fish. I just chuckle to myself as I wander through town towards the palace as ponies rush around me in panic.

Of course when I arrive at the palace gates it turns out to be a bit of a drawback as the guards enter a threatening posture. I wonder if Shining Armor had forgotten to let them know about my impending arrival as I show them the message I had received from them. I was made to wait outside as they sent a guard in to verify everything so I laid myself down to wait.

It took much longer than I expected for them to return and lead me to a waiting room inside. Luckily they provided a bowl of fruit which I made use of considering I probably would be able to taste delicacies like these outside of the kingdom. Eventually the door opened and Prince Shining Armor made his way over to the other side of the table where he took a seat with a sigh.

“You know how hard it is going to be to calm things down after your little jaunt through town? Couldn’t you been a little more cautious when you showed up like you were at Canterlot?” I just chuckle at his reaction before responding. “Well I didn’t expect things to be that bad here, and it’s probably better that they get used to the fact that non-ponies might be showing up more often than they are used to.”

He just shakes his head at this and sighs again. “Maybe you’re right, but I had hoped to ease them into the idea more instead of shoving it in their faces like you did. Either way let’s get down to the reason why you are here.” At this I pull out all the research, both mine and Twilight’s, that had been gathered so far. It seems that there weren’t any experts on this side as the crystals used to be completely under Sombra’s control.

He did have a few books that had been found in the library and there were potentially more to be found. Since they were still setting things up they didn’t have many ponies available to help out so I was given access to a room being repurposed as a lab until they could get a real one set up. There I was allowed full access to the crystals they had found as well as any information they had.

While the few assistants they did lend me weren’t very experienced, most of them did seem to have potential as they seemed to be talented in identifying and using the crystals. Over the next week we did a good many experiments and found that the crystals seemed to be able to hold almost any enchantment I could throw at them, as well as multiple enchantments at once if they were compatible.

The only snag we hit was that they had a tendency to not hold power as well as gemstones, and that the amount they could hold at once varied on the color of the crystal itself as well as the size. This led us to the finding that there were different qualities of power as well which fit the colors to different extents.

The pattern soon became pretty obvious as the colors and types of power matched based on color wavelengths. So the brighter colors worked better with more of a burst type powers and the darker ones with a steadier power type. This meant that darker colors were better for things that would use power over a longer period and the brighter ones for quick bursts of power.

The prince and princess were pleased with our findings and were trying to bring in more talent that could fully utilize all of the research. I soon prepared myself to head back to Ponyville, though they wouldn’t let me go without thanking me. It seems that I now had an account with the Equestrian banks were they would be putting a portion of any sales that came about based on the research. Granted I probably should start using a bank as I had a few too many bit bags around my home, but I wasn’t comfortable with this as Twilight had helped as well.

After mentioning that they also said they were doing the same for her, but weren’t telling her until it was too late for her to do anything about it. I just shook my head at the dealings of siblings and gave up on arguing. Of course just because I had it doesn’t mean I had to use it for myself.

The trip back towards Ponyville was just as bad as on the way out but in reverse. With them trying to get trade flowing though I figured that there would be more travelers sooner or later though. Still it gave me more time to practice even if the ponies that later got on the train looked at me warily.

As we near Ponyville I notice that something seems odd about the town as we approach. The train is forced to stop early as the entire town is entrapped within a giant glass dome for some reason, though my place is still outside of it, though not completely. Moving to that side of the barrier I was able to see that it hadn’t been able to come down on the very edge of it leaving a small opening.

I make my way into town, which is covered in dark clouds, to find Twilight and Trixie preparing for some sort of dual. Things seem to be going badly for Trixie throughout it all and I wonder why she doesn’t even use her best types of magic. Soon enough something weird happens as Trixie swipes some necklace that Twilight is wearing to replace her own which is snatched away by Rainbow Dash. From there things wrap down and I find out that Trixie had taken over the town using some cursed artifact.

I just shake my head and decide to keep an eye on Trixie for a while, until later that night during some event for Princess Celestia I see her apologizing to Twilight. Seeing as she may actually be tolerable I sneak a note into her cape and head home to prepare.

The next morning I awaken to a pounding on the front door and I smile as I set my plan into effect. I head downstairs, after making sure that the rest of the home is occupied, and open the door while remaining hidden. “Greetings Trixie Lulamoon, welcome to my humble abode.” The use of her last name, which I found in her books, as well as the complete darkness enshrouding the entryway serve to confuse her.

She soon recovers and I can see some of her arrogance returning, though it does seem to be less than normal. “Who are you and how do you know that name? Trixie hasn’t told anypony that name before. And where is that pony who challenged me?” I let out a chuckle as the door closes behind her while I stay hidden.

“Who I am and how I know are unimportant for now. As for the challenge it has already started, all you have to do is find your way out without giving up.” At this the door vanishes from behind her and I bring up a shield around her, without it being visible. As she moves it rotates with her giving the illusion of movement yet she is still in the same place but the darkness hides that information from her.

After finding nothing she starts throwing her magic around just for it to be blocked by the shield. This continues for a good long while until I tire of just waiting her out. “You know I figured you would have been a better challenge for being The Great and Powerful Trixie, you disappoint me.” This angers her enough to increase the force of her blasts. “Let Trixie out of here whoever you are, you will regret messing with Trixie like this.”

I just laugh as she says this and decide to bring about the finale. “Well if you want out then you just have to get by my little pet.” She scoffs at this but she soon freezes as my latest illusion appears before her, that of an Ursa Major. Luckily I only have to form the parts she can see as it would take too much power to form the entire thing. Trixie is soon curled up in a ball on the floor whimpering.

I approach her as she seems to be saying something which becomes clearer as I get close enough. “I give up… please don’t let it eat me…” She repeats this over and over causing me to sigh and banish all the illusions. “You know I would have thought the Great and Powerful Trixie would have recognized her own Great and Powerful illusions.” Hearing the sound of my voice right next to her causes Trixie to jump back with a yelp as her eyes dart all over the place.

Her eyes pass over me multiple times without seeing me, probably as she is looking for a pony. “Where are you!? Show yourself before Trixie so you can pay for humiliating her!” I let her survey the room for a few more minutes before I sigh. “Is it really that hard to see someone sitting right in front of you?” At my voice her eyes lock onto me and she backs away as they open wider.

“W-what are you? You aren’t a unicorn so how could you have done all that?” I shake my head at her. “Really? Do you really think only unicorns have the ability to use magic?” I demonstrate my words better by encasing myself in my fiery shield. Trixie just stares in awe before she remembers what happened.

“Wait, what do you mean Trixie couldn’t recognize Trixie’s illusions, I wasn’t doing any at all.” I just shake my head at her and pass her one of her old books. “Because they were spells you made yourself that I had been practicing for a while. With how good you seemed to be at them I would have thought you would see right through them, not to mention actually use them in a dual.”

Her eyes widen as she recognizes the book and grasps it close to her chest. I can see her façade is starting to slip. “Where do you get this from, I thought I had lost this a long time ago?” I just give her a smile as I lead her to the sitting room where I had some food and drinks ready. “What? You think that the stuff you left here was just going to be tossed away? Of course not, it all had to go somewhere and that place was here. Of course you can have it all back, but first we need to talk.”

She looks wary as I level a serious stare at her. “First you seem to be a bit lost in what you have been doing if your actions yesterday mean anything. I’ve heard how you’ve been having problems since your first visit here, but that’s because you aren’t doing what you are good at.” She tosses a glare back at me at that. “What are you talking about, Trixie is good at everything!”

I just shake my head at her. “Maybe if you had someone to teach you things you would be, there looks to be some potential there, but right now you are really only good at two things I’ve seen, your fireworks and your illusions. Your boasting needs some work as well.” She just grumbles at me about this, not having any arguments ready after having been beaten twice in as many days.

“Also with how your reputation has suffered you need to change your approach as well, you can’t pull the large crowds until you fix that. At least that will be the easy part since your attitude is the biggest issue. Sure you can go around boasting, but you need to be able to prove it as well as know when to stop.” I can see she is wavering a bit at my words, though she finally asks the important question.

“Why do you even care, and why would you even help me?” I levitate over to her a set of my notes on her fireworks. “Why I care is because I was interested a bit in you show when I first saw it. And why I would help you? That is mostly to repay you as I had been furthering my skills with your books, as well as learning about fireworks with them as well as a hobby.” As she reads through my notes I can see her eyes widen as she reaches parts not in her own books.

“Also I would like to sponsor you a bit so you can get started up again. I don’t see many entertainers come through so you have something not many others do, but you need to remember to entertain others and not boost your own ego.” She looks up in me at shock at this, and I knew it was because she had been doing everything alone. Having read her journal made this a bit unfair but keeping her off guard was the key.

“You want to sponsor ME! Who are you to be able to do this as I haven’t even heard of you before?” I chuckle as not many do know me though some of the nobles may know my work. “My name is Flarenza, and I dabble in a few different things right now. With my gem enchantments, exotic food sales, and now a deal with the Crystal Kingdom I have a few things to my name even if my name isn’t out there.”

The gem enchantments part probably catches her interest the most as she brings a hoof up to her cape’s clasp. It has been rather profitable for me so that I don’t even need the other things, but I still do them for variety. “Of course if you agree you will need a way to travel around again.” I lead her out to behind the building where I had stored her wagon which was covered with a large cloth.

“Of course since this is yours anyways you can take it even if you don’t accept my proposal.” With that I draw the cloth off of it revealing her fully repaired wagon. I had been able to get the enchantments on it put into place a few months back with Twilight’s help. At the site of her wagon being back together again and looking better than before Trixie faints on the spot. “I guess we’ll talk about it when you wake up again.”

Author's Note:

You know you'd want to see what happens if that was done to Pinkie, but it would just be too cruel. Also as a note I believe I will be using the season 3 episodes with minor if any changes, but don't expect season 4 to be the same. I'm considering changing the finale a good bit as well as cutting out a bunch of the ones that don't make sense at all.