Crazy, Clever and Cunning

by Fresnor

Dog Gone It

I was blinded not only by the darkness, but also they spray of dirt as the diamond dog pulls me deep into the ground below. When we finally stop I get a chance to clear my vision and find us in a cave of glowing crystals. Looking around I see that the place is of a decent size, and looks to have been dug out by the diamond dogs if the claw marks around the place are any indication.

Turning to my supposed captor I notice that he had been joined by a couple others that look to be his superiors, as well as a bunch of brutes that are most likely guards. I can’t catch what they are saying, but while they are distracted I place a spell on my packs in a way to divert attention off of them. When they turn back to me I find out their plan as theu put some sort of ring on my horn as well as an old harness across my neck and shoulders.

“Pony work, pull many carts of gems for us, yes,” comes from what I believe is the leader of this group. I decide to play along for a while since it will give me the best chance to learn about them. At least they will be easier than undead to deal with when I decide to leave. They at least can feel fear and will run if that is their only reasonable choice. I wonder what that ring is for, I haven’t seen one used before, but considering my unicorn shape I bet it’s supposed to block magic channeled through it. Too bad for them, that’s not where my magic is channeled through so it shouldn’t work well if at all.

I silently follow their orders, all the while using my magic to move the cart behind me as well as try and get of feel of the place. I only see other diamond dogs down here, most of them either digging or as some sort of guard. This makes my plans later much easier as there are less to expose my secret to. I also note a few oddities as well.

While the diamond dogs seem to be of a more violent mentality, I spot little things that make me think that they may be a bit more. A carving here, a statue-shaped thing there, and even what I believe to be some sort of mural are scattered around the areas I am escorted through. It looks like there may be a few of an artistic bent around somewhere. The carving wasn’t that bad after all, and, while crude, the statue wouldn’t be out of place as a table decoration.

On one of the trips to where the store their gems I even spot a couple younglings and a couple females. This makes me think that this may be a more permanent settlement of diamond dogs, instead of just a random bunch out searching for food. Noticing a few of them eating gems I am glad that I hid my packs as eating enchanted gems often leads to interesting results.

Watching them effortlessly find and dig up gems I wonder what they even would need ponies for. Watching them I had noticed a few clamp their ears down to their heads when they first see me, so they certainly remember the fiasco with Rarity, yet still they risk kidnapping more. Thinking on this deeper I decide that they may not be actively hunting them down, as Rarity and I were only grabbed when we came into their territory. Of course greed had a part in it with her as well since her talent involves finding gems among other things.

It is hard to tell the passage of time while down here, but from my growling stomach I assume it is close to dinner. I think my captors may have heard it, because soon after I am led to another area and have a bowl of… something shoved in my direction. Looking at the unappealing slop I decide that I have learned enough for now and decide that it is time to leave.

I turn to the one that I believe to be the leader and notify him of this. “Well gentledogs, as much fun as this day has been I believe that I shall be going, so if one of you would kindly direct me to the exit then I shall get out of your hair.” They just turn and look at me as if I’m joking before bursting out into laughter. I just stare at them all calmly until the leader speaks up.

“Pony is being silly, pony be here for many days before we let you go. Not only do pony smell funny, but pony is funny too.” I wonder what he means by the smell, but ignore it as I just grin at him and starts channeling power, showing off my flaming aura. “Well of course I’m going now; I was just being nice and asking since you have no way of keeping me here anyways.” With that I grab all the sharp implements in the room and do my best impression of the ghost when Twilight and I found it in the kitchen.

The leader’s eyes widen as he sees me using my magic and he turns to strike at one of his nearby companions. “You idiot, you said ring would stop pony magic, why is pony still using magic if wearing ring!?” I decide to raise the stakes by going all out to truly terrify them. “Oh don’t blame him too badly; it isn’t his fault it didn’t work as he expected. The problem with it is that I am not really a pony at all.” With this I encase myself in the flaming aura and shift back into my real form, causing the ring to drop to the ground.

As I settle into my true form with a tooth-filled grin I get the reaction I expected as the eyes of all the diamond dogs in the room widen even further in fear. What happens next causes me to falter in surprise though as every diamond dog in the room, including the leader, drop to the floor completely prostrate before me. What just happened here? To go from near terror to this is definitely not what I expected from them.

I am further surprised as the lead dog begins to speak. “Please don’t hurt us High One, we didn’t know.” His words tickle at a memory somewhere in the back of my mind, but I can’t seem to recall it. “What do you mean by High One?” I try to keep my voice calm as I ask this, but something in it still causes him to flinch.

“High ones from old diamond dog legends. Back before High Ponies came they ruled over dog-kind until ponies come with High Ponies. High Alphas fought High Ponies but lost. They leave across big water and not be seen since leaving packs to scatter. Many packs forget them but we old pack, have storyteller to keep legends for pack to remember.” This surprises me as it is the first hint I have had of my kind in years.

“Legends say one day High Ones return to lead pack once more. Please say High Alphas returning to us again.” The way they all look at look at me with teary and hopeful eyes causes me to stop with my channeling, dropping all the weapons to the ground. This is much more than I expected to find here, in fact I was expecting to have to physically find them before finding anything about them.

As they continue to stare at me with those eyes I sigh and prepare to disappoint them. “I don’t know if these High Ones are returning or not, in fact I am searching for them myself.” At my words the diamond dogs in the room look so downcast that I can even feel the pressure of their sadness forcing me into what I say next. “But when I do find them, know that I will tell them that the packs still wait for them and remember. I don’t know how long it will be, or when I will even leave this place but eventually they will know.”

This seems to be the right thing to say as I can see a spark of hope in the eyes of some of the diamond dogs. The leader speaks up on another matter, “What about the punishment? We must be punished for treating you like pony.” I sigh and am about to forgive them this, until an idea comes to mind. “Very well, your punishment shall be in two parts, the first is you will send some dogs to my home on the other side of Ponyville to dig up some area below it for me to use to prepare for my future trip.”

The leader seems a bit relieved at such a light punishment, though is still wary. “And second punishment?” I wait trying to drag things out to emphasize the importance. “The second shall be that you will no longer capture ponies and force them to work or do anything to harm them. If you need something from them trade your skill or labor for it. This is to allow so no reason is given to the ponies to drive you away until the High Alphas return.”

He seems confused by this, but nods anyways. “Now I need an escort out, and above all, none of the ponies must know what I am. If they know I may not be able to find the High Alphas to let them know that you wait.” They eagerly nod at this and the leader chooses two of the biggest guards to show me the way out. As we travel I shift back into my pony form and consider what I learned.

So my kind used to rule over the diamond dogs at one point? That must be what I was trying to remember, or something of that nature. It does explain why I was warned away from Princess Celestia though, because if she was one of the High Ponies that were mentioned then she was in direct conflict with my kind once.

Eventually we reach the exit and I bid the guard farewell, wondering what kind of problems are going to be caused with them knowing of me now. If I knew about their legends I probably would have stayed hidden and just snuck out. Oh well, at least I’ll get that exit from my basement that I had planned done earlier than expected. I look myself over as I walk back towards Ponyville and notice that I am covered in dirt from my trip down there.

“Looks like I need to have a good cleaning before I eat. At least it isn’t as late as I thought it was, must be hungry from using my magic the entire time down there.” I look up and estimate that it is still mid-afternoon still, so there are a few hours until sunset. Entering town I get a few stares at my condition, though not as extreme as the one given by Rarity when I wave to her.

“Flarenza darling, what did you do to yourself!? You’re just positively covered in filth!” I chuckle a bit at her reaction before explaining, holding back some key points of course. “Nothing much really, I just had a little run-in with the diamond dogs while I was out gathering gems.” Her eyes narrow as I mention them as I continue, “I was able to ah… convince them to let me go and I think I was able to get them to stop bothering ponies like that again.”

“Well it sounds like you had quite an adventure, and I know how poorly those brutes can treat a mare. I know exactly what to do to make you forget completely about them darling.” From what I know of the white unicorn I can predict where this is going, “And what would that be Rarity.” She just gives me a large grin before saying in a singsong voice. “This calls for a spa trip.”

I just shake my head and agree to her suggestion, knowing that it is easier to just give in than fight her when she gets an idea in her head. I follow her to the building that I had only been in once but had never used for its intended purpose. Since I didn’t know how things worked here I let Rarity make all the decisions, trusting that she knows what is best here.

Starting with a shower, to remove all the dirt and grime, we then continue on to a mud bath, followed by a period in the sauna. While in there we chat a bit about some of her latest projects as well as how my enchanting and other business ventures have progressed. I eventually learn about much of the recent gossip around town from her, while I tell her of the things I’ve been planning and getting done.

As we finish in the sauna and move towards the massage area I mention what Applebloom had planned for the house, as well as how I left her a key so she could come and go at need with her friends until she finished. This gets her attention causing her to speak her mind about the idea. “Are you sure that it’s a good idea to leave those three unsupervised? We all know how good Applebloom is at building things, but when you add my sister and their friend to the mix things tend to get a bit… messy.”

I consider her words as she does have more experience with the three than me before answering. “I know they can be a bit… destructive about what they do with their Crusading around, but I made sure to lock up everything that I could find that they could get into trouble with. The worst of it is in my attic, and I made sure to conceal the switch that opens it as well as blocked it from working. I think they already managed to break anything I didn’t notice the first time they were there as well, not that there was much left to break anyways.”

Finishing with the massage we moved on to the hot tub to relax for the rest of our time there. We continued talking about various other topics, mainly about the trip out to Appleloosa and what happened there. I laughed at many of the things that happened, though I shook my head at Pinkie’s attempt at stopping the fight with a song. “I’m not sure if I’ve heard her sing yet, but from how you explain it I’m not sure I want to.” She laughs at my comment before waving it off. “Oh don’t worry, while that song was rather, ah… creative… she normally is much better at singing than that.”

As we dry off from the tub I find myself actually feeling better about this trip than I thought I would. Deciding to come here more often thank Rarity for taking me here before we depart and go our separate way. Seeing as they are all home I make a couple quick stops to see how things are going and to get any news before heading home. It was a good thing I did as Twilight was in a panic, and finding out that it was about a potential visit of the Princess I made plans to be in the Everfree and the castle for that entire day.

I sigh as I make my way down the slowly forming path towards my home as I try to imagine how I want the diamond dogs to dig out the areas I wanted. I have a few ideas in mind as I stride through the door to my home, just to be met with a scene of chaos.

Things were definitely not how I left the place as bits of wood are strewn across the floor, along with many half-finished projects. I can see that some of the things I had personally made were brought out into the entryway before being torn apart, as well as signs of help from the other two Crusaders that I didn’t ask to help. How in the world did they nail a table to the ceiling? And why are there hooftracks on the cieling?

I sigh as I shake my head at the chaos before I check out the damage everywhere. I start with upstairs as I check to make sure that they didn’t somehow get into the attic. Noticing that it is still closed, and after opening it to make sure, I am relieved that they didn’t get up there. I mentally add an idea to my list to conceal the switch for the entrance better as a precaution later.

I then check out my bedroom to find that it is also relatively untouched as well, though I find evidence that they did use the large tub in the bathroom as I find bits of sap around the place. Exploring the other rooms upstairs shows that they are also in decent condition still, though the doors have been removed from them all already and replaced. They are even still wet from the varnish used to coat them slightly still.

I nod at this, surprised at the progress already, as I head downstairs to check on the damage there. It isn’t as bad as I expected when I entered the house, but still worse than what I had planned for originally. I eventually find the three Crusaders still in my house as I enter the kitchen and I find out my biggest oversight.

The three are in various stages of unconsciousness as they are sleeping off a sugar coma that they are obviously in. I look at the stacks of pie pans and empty whipped cream jars that are on the table and wonder how they managed to finish off thirty of them like that. I shake my head at them as I hear a knock on the front door and I go over to see who it is.

I open it to find Applejack there, probably searching for her sister. She gets a good look inside and notices the mess. “Whoa nelly, I guess that answers the question of if ya had seen mah sister.” I nod to her and gesture towards the kitchen. “Yeah, her and her friends really did a bit more than I expected. I’m guessing they decided to dig into the pies I left for them before they started working… all thirty of them.”

Applejack’s jaw drops at this before she lets out a whistle. “Ah’m surprised the house is still standing after that. Ah can take Applebloom and Sweetie Belle home for you now if ya want.” I nod at this but think about Scootaloo. “What about Scootaloo? I don’t think I’ve met her parents yet. Won’t they be worrying about her as well?”

Applejack considers this thoughtfully before she answers. “Ya know, I don’t think ah’ve met them either. They never had any problems with her being out late or with one of the other two. It should be fine if ya lend her a room for the night though as she never seems to need to ask them to stay out.”

I consider this which seems to be what Applejack is doing as well. I nod to her as it seems acceptable and we go to collect the three. As she heads off to bring the two fillies home, I carry the third filly up to one of the spare rooms. Luckily the smell of varnish had faded in one of the far rooms so I tuck her in under the covers before I go to make myself some food and prepare for the visitors tonight.

Author's Note:

Ok, this is definitely one of the parts I feel iffy about in my story. I wasn't sure exactly what to do with the Diamond Dogs at first when an idea came to me that I decided to run with. While I won't go into the full details as of now, I will say that there is a bit of method to my madness that will make more sense later on. Not much more will be done with them beyond inconsequential meetings, but it will play a big part later on in either the planned Book 2 or 3. As usual accepting all of you love-/hate-/blah-mails and texts below.

Comments

[Fresnor]

4331559 Well you'll just have to wait to find out for sure. The most recent chapter I put up throws a bit of a curve out there, and interestingly enough is the last chapter full within the confines of Season 1. I am currently writing up the next one and for now I have nothing to add to the last few episodes so expect some fun with everybody's favorite voice of Mr. John De Lancie <.< How much fun I'm not sure yet, but the fun part is trying to get his attitude down correctly. I'm expecting some disappointments from it though so hopefully the explanation I leave will appease them a bit

[Imperium Bedlam]

When they turn back to me I find out there plan as the put some sort of ring on my horn as well as an old harness across my neck and shoulders.

What?

4335288
But I can't wait! That takes time and money, but mostly time.
Expect heavy criticism when it comes to Dissy.