Crazy, Clever and Cunning

by Fresnor

Road to a Wedding Gala

Well I can mark that down as an achievement that few had ever accomplished. Pinkie Pie was always a bit of a terror in Ponyville, but she was accepted despite the hassles she caused at times. To actually see her collapse due to exhaustion and stress when she is normally a font of infinite energy is pretty much unheard of. Of course with how busy things were in the bakery the Cake family wasn’t very happy with it happening now.

I spent the next few hours helping them out while Pinkie recovered since it was my fault that this happened. When Pinkie recovered she seemed to have more energy than before and was working even faster than when I first showed up so things still turned out for the best.

Of course it still wasn’t enough for her to get anything ready that was up to her usual standards when the day arrived. That was fine with me as it was on short notice and I hadn’t really paid attention to it in years anyways. She was still able to get a cake made for me even though she made mention of making up for it next year which worried me a bit.

Of course things had gotten out of control in town while I was relaxing at home. It seems the Crusaders had gotten ahold of a recipe for some sort of love poison and had used it on Big Mac and Cheerilee. Things had gotten so crazy that one pony had her home moved a few blocks away from where it was, and luckily they didn’t have a basement. Of course this made me double check the protection on anything dangerous I had as well as make sure to double check anything that I catch them doing.

Of course things got interesting again a few days later. It seems that there was a new resident in town that was able to resist Pinkie’s charms for a while, a donkey to be exact. With this I noticed a trend with Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie Sense in that it didn’t work as well as normal when only non-ponies were involved. With how things had ended up with Gilda, me, and now this Cranky fellow it showed a trend of her ability not working like normal. Of course if we tried anything to a pony that could set it off it worked just fine as shown by her ability to avoid most of my pranks before.

Of course letting Twilight know about this observation wasn’t the brightest idea as she wanted to start performing tests on Spike to verify this. Luckily my promise to Celestia was enough to get her to back off, as well as her friends talking her down. Even then Spike still avoided her for a while and threw me the occasional glare when I saw him. I made sure to give him a few gems in apology when I returned from my next trip to the gem fields.

Of course that wasn’t the oddest thing to happen, which I found out when the mail arrived one morning. Not only did I have some large orders for a few things I provided to a select few restaurants in Canterlot, for an upcoming wedding and the Gala, but I also received a ticket to the Gala as well. I was wondering what Celestia was thinking until I read the attached letter to find that it was Princess Luna that had sent it which explained things more.

It gave me an excuse to visit Rarity for a dress or something as she had been dropping hints that she had a few ideas she wanted to try out that would look good on me. I wondered if Luna knew that her sister always tried to find ways to ruin the Gala for the nobles in some way and if I should assist or not.

Of course Rarity was jumping with joy at the thought of finally making something for me in this form, and she even mentioned how she was going again this year with her friends, though with much lower expectations. “We talked about it when the tickets arrived and we all agreed to stick together this year. I was able to mend the dresses from last year as they really went through a lot. Of course this time they should be safe because of those beautiful gems you made for me.”

I laugh as I remember her story about the flying cake that Prince Blueblood used her as a shield to stop. “Well Rarity, this year if he does anything I can help you out and nobody will even notice as not even the princesses know how my magic is usually invisible.” She gives a strained laugh at this but just waves it off. “That shouldn’t be necessary dear. I think he learned his lesson after he did that.”

I still made a note to possibly mess with him just on the principle of him being unbearable. Of course Rarity’s sensitivity for etiquette and proper speech causes her to bring up something I had wondered if it would show up. “Why do you say things like nobody or anyone instead of nopony or anypony now? You used to do it all the time before that incident with Scootaloo.”

I smile as I expected this question a while ago, but from a different pony. “Well I thought that would be pretty obvious considering I’m not a pony. With how much I’ve traveled I found it silly just to stick with a single group for those words so I found something that was more neutral. I’m surprised it took this long for one of you to ask, though I would have expected Pinkie Pie to pop up out of nowhere to correct me every time I said one of those words.”

This draws a chuckle from her. “Yes I could see her doing something like that. What you say does make sense and I suppose it would be right to use those words when poor Spike is around.” She finished her measurements around then and she started making her plans. After what I heard the others did to her with their dresses I made sure to only request that it shows off my tails somehow as they are a bit of a status symbol.

Heading out I caught the strange sight of a minotaur roaming around town, as well as Fluttershy pushing other ponies around? I wasn’t sure if I was seeing this right, but there was no mistaking what was happening. I wasn’t sure what was going on here, and was considering going until Rarity came out to see what was happening and was joined by Pinkie Pie. I assumed everything was being taken care of by them so I made my way home again.

I found out that it took a bit longer than that later on and it was mostly the fault of that minotaur as well as a few others to a lesser extent. It seems that Fluttershy was pushed into doing his assertiveness lessons and took things too far. While I did think she could stand to be a little less passive, I knew that she would at least have not backed down with something truly important.

Of course I happened to be away for some of the more interesting magical events. Twilight had been visited by her future self and was warned about some event that would happen in a week’s time. Of course Twilight being Twilight she was too worried about how the effect was possible instead of paying attention to the actual message. I had returned after the fact to find her in panic mode as she tried to figure out what was going to happen.

I was drafted to fix a multitude of things around town, but I figured that if it was truly important enough to require a time travel spell then it wouldn’t be something easily found. I wonder why she would have even bothered to use the spell if she knew that she wasn’t going to get the message out in time anyways. I would have asked Twilight, but the arrival of a large three-headed dog drove the thought out of my head.

Seeing the issue taken care of swiftly by Fluttershy I just shook my head and went off elsewhere until everything blew over or the problem was revealed. Strangely enough I saw that stallion that was always with Derpy near the library muttering something about amateurs. I was tempted to see what he was going on about, but the same third sense that spoke up when Pinkie does something impossible kept me from doing so.

Eventually it came out that the reason for Twilight’s visit was to tell Twilight that nothing was going to happen and to not worry about it. I was the only one to take a more proactive approach to this information by launching a pillow at her in agitation. Of course with Pinkie around things dissolved into a small pillow war in the library which ended with the purple mare buried under all the pillows in the place.

At least with her making all these mistakes regarding magic allowed me to learn lessons that would have been potentially painful later on. It would be nice if her mistakes would stop including half the town in them as well. Still after what happened with some of her previous mistakes it is probably better to be there and monitor things instead of allowing her to run wild.

At least things at home had been going well for a change, especially in regards to Selene. She had been doing decently well at school in spite of the bullies, and was actually starting to overcome her fears of some of the other Element Bearers. After finding that Pinkie Pie wasn’t as bad as she thought at first, she started spending time around the two sisters of her friends. The results were pretty mixed at first, but with having to deal with Fluttershy they were able to recognize similar signs and other ponies and knew how to overcome them.

That made half of those she once feared being at least tolerable, though Rainbow Dash and Twilight would probably be the toughest ones for her to deal with as their social skills were a bit lacking. Of course I had a plan for Rainbow Dash as she always did seem to respect what Fluttershy said, being one of her foalhood friends. Of course getting them to meet would be a challenge in itself as I pretty much could guess what would happen.

I made plans to do this during an upcoming dragon migration event as I doubted she would take part in watching it even if all her friends were which is what it sounded like they had planned. I saw them attempt to drag her out there with them, but that ended with predictable results. Why they thought she could handle being around a swarm of adult dragons when a single on caused her to panic I had no idea.

Still it gave me the opportunity to bring Selene over there without much chance of being interrupted by any of the others. I don’t think she knew where we were going as there wouldn’t have been much reason for her to find out where Fluttershy lived, while Scootaloo would brag about Rainbow Dash constantly and I know I mentioned Twilight living in the library.

Knocking at her door did bring about a predictable response considering what I had witnessed. “Rainbow Dash I said NO!” This is followed by some locking sounds as I shake my head while making sure Selene doesn’t bolt now that she has heard the voice. “Fluttershy you know I wouldn’t force you to do something that I obviously know you would hate.” After a few seconds I hear the door unlock and open, allowing me to enter while levitating the struggling filly behind me.

On seeing the filly Fluttershy give me a strange look, but I wait until I am seated with Selene burrowed into my side. “Well I suppose you wonder who this is. Fluttershy I would like you to meet Selene, she has been staying with me for a while now after I found her all alone and as you can see has some problems when meeting certain ponies.” At this Fluttershy gets a soft look in her eyes and tries to coax the filly out of hiding.

“It’s all right little one; I’m not going to hurt… you…” When Selene looks up at Fluttershy I see the reaction I was expecting as the yellow pegasus’ eyes widen and irises shrink to pinpricks before she shrieks and bolts to the corner of the room. This sets off Selene who also starts panicking and retreats to the opposite corner from her. I just shake my head as I wait for things to settle down having known Fluttershy would react to the eyes having seen the same ones on Nightmare Moon.

Of course after five minutes things hadn’t changed and I decided to wait a bit longer. At ten minutes I was getting a bit irritated as they were still both shivering in their corners. At fifteen minutes I gave up on waiting and decided to try and speed things up as every time they looked as if they were calming, they’d look at the other and start all over again. “Really you two, I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry at you both being terrified of something that is terrified of you. Maybe I should go get the Cutie Mark Crusaders and see if they want to try for a cutie mark in driving away fear.”

This got a reaction other than complete terror as they both speak at the same time knowing what usually happens when those three and cutie marks become involved. “NO! DON’T!” I just look between the two before I burst out laughing at how alike the two are being right now. I hadn’t realized how close I was when I described Selene as being like Fluttershy, but I noticed that she was much braver when dealing with things she wasn’t terrified of.

The two just stare at me while I laugh, and eventually start looking annoyed as I continue for a while. I found this to be much better than the terror they were just in, but still worked on calming myself. “Well you two do have to admit, you both having the exact same reactions is funny in a way. Of course maybe now you can actually start talking instead of just hiding in a corner.”

The two hesitate for a bit, before they both head towards the couch, making sure that I remain between them. Of course neither of them wants to start the conversation, so it was up to me to give one of them a little push. I figured that Fluttershy would be the easiest as I had already talked to her about Selene even if she didn’t know that yet so I leaned over to whisper so Selene couldn’t hear. “Remember what we talked about those first few visits? I was referring to her mostly as she was alone with nothing but the feeling of everything hating her.”

It takes Fluttershy a second to process this before her eyes widen and the kind look she had before returned. She slowly made her way over to Selene, being very careful not to scare her off even with my paw on her back to reassure her. Eventually she got close enough and started to whisper to her in a voice too low for me to quite catch. They start conversing back and forth in quiet tones, and even if I couldn’t hear what was being said, I still counted this as progress.

Soon enough I saw Selene completely break down and throw herself into Fluttershy’s chest and started crying. Fluttershy instinctively wrapped her hooves around her when this happened and I could even see a few tears from in her eyes as well. I was glad I decided to set this up as Fluttershy would definitely be there for her now if anything did happen. It actually felt wrong to see Selene be terrified of Fluttershy as I had yet to see a kinder being around.

I stepped outside to let the two work out what they needed to now that the floodgates had opened. I found Umbra waiting at one of the windows and she gave me a nod before taking off to observe from somewhere else as the critical part had passed. I had warned her to be ready to step in if things got too far out of control, though I didn’t expect her to need to do so here, though Twilight and Rainbow Dash might need to be restrained when they meet Selene and find out her background.

I waited outside of the cottage for over an hour before Fluttershy appeared with Selene in tow. They were both smiling so I assumed that things had turned out for the best and they weren’t terribly angry about me forcing this on them. I nodded to Fluttershy as I lifted Selene to my back, as she looked as if she was about to collapse, and made my way back home.

I decided to wait on introducing her to the last two ponies of the group until a good occasion presented itself and she was better prepared for what they may do. Time passed by quickly as the Gala rapidly approached, with the wedding two days before it. It was interesting to hear about Spike’s adventure to find out about other dragons during that time as well as the little mystery that happened during the transfer of a special cake the Cakes made for some competition that was done by train.

Of course things got really tense between those two events as the town was slowly building into a major uproar over the schools newspaper. This Gabby Gums individual had been revealing information about various ponies around town which was rather private. Luckily Selene was spared from this, as whoever it was couldn’t find anything on her and definitely couldn’t see through her illusion. I started to suspect who it was though when I saw an article featuring me, even if it was tame in comparison to most of the other.

“Pff, ‘Meat Eating Nightmare?’ That’s the best she could come up with? I would have figured that the possibility of me eating meat was high considering my teeth, and I constantly order fish at the café, which many pegasi do as well.” I say this during breakfast while both Selene and Scootaloo are eating before heading to school while looking at the picture of me carrying and animal by its scruff, which I did to help Fluttershy recently.

“Of course the only other thing she could possibly write about would be my basement full of fireworks, or maybe secretly being Trixie as her wagon is still parked outside. But the first I haven’t told anyone and the second is obviously not possible as I was next to Twilight when Trixie ran off.” Scootaloo looks a bit too interested when I say this arousing my suspicions. “Really? You keep fireworks in the basement? Why haven’t you shown anypony yet?”

I just brush it off. “Oh they aren’t ready yet, I’m still trying things out and I doubt they will be ready any time soon.” I rush her off to school with Selene, and consider the article. It was later that day that it was found out that the Crusaders were really Gabby Gums as they made the mistake of using information only they could get ahold of. This was all done at the instigation of Diamond Tiara which I found surprising as listening to her would have been the last thing I’d expect them to do.

Well after being shunned by the town they eventually apologized for what they did, even though they had to make up for it over the next few weeks. Being given the jobs that the ones they reported on didn’t want to do really cut into the time that they could have spent doing other things. I took it easy on them and just ‘forced’ them to do things that Selene wanted to do which they were fine with.

Soon enough I went over to pick up the dress from Rarity as the time to head out to Canterlot for the wedding and Gala had arrived.

Author's Note:

Well next chapter will be one I had been wanting to do. I'm not sure how long it will actually be, but I hope to have some real fun with it. This chapter may have felt a bit rushed but nothing important enough really happened anyways that needed to be dealt with. Of course I still need to figure out how to introduce Selene and to both Twilight and Rainbow Dash as they would be the difficult ones. Then of course there is the conversation that AJ and Rarity will probably want to have as well.

Comments

[Imperium Bedlam]

Give twilight a restraining order and tell dash that Selene is a fan, easy.

[Amos Anon]

Of course things got interesting again a few days later. It seems that there was a new resident in town that was able to resist Pinkie’s charms for a while, a donkey to be exact. With this I noticed a trend with Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie Sense in that it didn’t work as well as normal when only non-ponies were involved. With how things had ended up with Gilda, me, and now this Cranky fellow it showed a trend of her ability not working like normal. Of course if we tried anything to a pony that could set it off it worked just fine as shown by her ability to avoid most of my pranks before.

I never really thought of that before... but it kinda makes sense in hindsight, doesn't It?