Equestria is threatened by a deadly alliance of Gryphons, Minotaurs, Horses and Changelings, an alliance that was supposedly created to maintain peace in Equestria. But Celestia is no fool. She knows that a war is coming, a war that cannot be stopped, and without allies and guards with no combat experience, Equestria won't stand a chance.
In the several corners of the world, humans are either enslaved to be gladiators, servants or guards. Those who remain free, struggle to survive. And with the other races of the world approaching more and more in human territory, their future seems grim and their numbers grow fewer.
Chapters (1)
can't wait to see more of this
Excellently written I like where this is going
cant wait to see more man sounds great so far
i require more
there are two lunas and at least two Canadians in the comments
4103969
Looks really interesting.
4103969
Canadia, eh?
Can't wait to see this bites them in the flank. Seriously, are the princesses arrogant or just greedy. Even if they feel like they don't require the military aid an alliance could provide them, they are just going to reject the prospect of building a mutually beinfical relationship that could lead to peace/friendship between non pony races.
4104435 And being used as hosts if the changelings needs feeding. Its a give and take relationship, if they would agree to the terms, their subjects could be used as feeding grounds and not only that, resources could be taken from them unwillingly.
4104466
I'm not saying that the alliance is flawless, but the sisters didn't even try. Their resources could really help the other nations while in turn prove security that their royal guards could not provide. As for the issue with the changelings, I think it would be better to have an established agreement that could place rules regarding the safety of the ponies rather than focing the changelings to steal the food they need. If a benificial agreement is established, it could also help to heal their relationship with the changelings and promote peace rather than hatred.
Don't take my comments the wrong way. I like the direction this story is going and look foward to seing where you take it
. I was just commenting on the slightly petty behavior of the princesses. Again this is not a bad thing as even the protagonists of a story need flaws to make them interesting. In this story's case, it would be the isolationist attitude of the princesses developed after over 1000 years of peace.
4104495 Thank you for the kind words
"their future seems brim and their numbers grow fewer."
I think you mean grim.
Inb4 humans worship space gods who happen to be space faring humans with a bad attitude and lasers.
I haven't read this yet, but this is ridiculous. Don't dislike because of bad grammar/spelling? Of course people are going to. Your laziness to not edit this can't be excused- basically, what you're doing is not showing people your best, and then asking them to ignore your flaws. It's simply ludicrous.
I get what you're saying. You want to write what people want to read, and you don't want to waste time on something that people won't like, or won't be received well.
Let me tell you something.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, one of the most well known Western classical writers in America, had similar problems- well, in a way. He published Great Gatsby, a well known book that has sold many, many copies after his death. He's famous, just for this one novel.
On release, back in the day, he made $2,000 dollars from the book's initial printings. People looked at it as a nostalgic piece, and nothing more. Basically, in the beginning, it was a failure.
My point is, doing what people want you to do/ what you think people will like is not, in any way, a way to write anything- any sort of genre, be it novel, poem, essay, short story. Fiction or non, anything.
Try to create a story that YOU think will be interesting. Do it for success, if you want. Do it if you think you can tell a good, compelling story, and dazzle everyone with your ability to spin a yarn. Do it, edit it. Put your best foot forward. Show your most colorful vocabulary, the most descriptive verbs, and make sure everything is right, how you want it.
But, please... don't try to appease other people.
That way lies despair. Trust me.
""Is that a threat!?" Celestia now stood up from the table in outrage. "Did you invite us across the great sea to ask us to join you or be destroyed?""
Every normal thinking ruler would know that it wasn't a threat.
4105456 Thanks for the novel comment. I haven't started writing chapter 1 because I haven't an assigned editor or pre-reader. Like I said in the same quote: I'm not sure if I want to continue with the story, its not about what people want, its about if I deem the story worth while to write.
you have my interest, please continue
the princesses do seem to be a bit... dense in the head
This is good, I would like to request more.
4103969 Make that three Canadians.
Holy shit. Why does almost every new story featuring humans have to have them fucking enslaved or mindless animals? For once, I'd like to see a story where humans have their own country and live freely on whatever planet it is along side the other races. None of this enslavement bullshit.
Did you mean grim?
4106756 aye I got a couple of stories for you then my friend.it is pretty well written
I wonder what Equestria's relationship to humanity is like.
4107998 I appreciate your help Cole. However, I'm already reading that story and have it Favorited.
thebanginbeats.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/42268-you-had-my-curiosity-but-now-y-mk6z.gif
Seriously though, I like where this is going.
Oh god. Please, no humans helping ponies for no reason.
Plz ner.
4110262 Do you really expect in a world where sentient humans that are living on scarce resources will help out ponies out of the goodness of their heart?
4110391
Thank the Gods. Whew, I was afraid of that description for a second.
4110454 I have so many things planed for the story if I decide to continue it. One of the major clans that have the biggest badasses, are called The Dragon Tooth Clan, For generations they've lived off dragons as their natural predator, with a high resistance towards fire and a very barbarous build, its been speculated by scholars from Canterlot that the humans have attained these perks after eating dragon meat for generations, which their magical properties effected their offspring. Those who seek their right of passage into the clan, have to kill a dragon of age of 100 years old by themselves. Though they are natural born conqourers, they lack in numbers due to their extreme pilgrimage.
Thats a taste of what the Major clans have to offer:P Well...What did you think?
4110493
iExcellente!
Its looking good so far, I might be considering of actually continuing with the story, but I need an Editor before I can make any promises. Anyone will do really, as long as you are really good at fixing my grammatical errors.
Got to read MOAR. One question though, comparing to the humans in the picture and the ones mentioned via prologue and since the humans are seperated. There are humans that have better knowledge than other clans, right? Like the ones in the prologue sound like a native american culture. Is there ones with a small feduel system, medieval weaponry maybe?
Liked & faved. Now I wait...
Just the prologue and I already want to know where is this going.
Nice job
4111681 Most clans are very different from one another. But its more of a village community then a native american tribe. This one is more of a savahna tribe.
4110493
Dam, that sounds like its gonna be awesome. And they are just 1 of the major clans?
A war between humans/ponies vs minotaurs/changelings/griffons/horses. Yeah!!
Please, don't let us wait too much.
Now,Here hoping that the inevitable leveling up of the human clan(s) includes heavy plate armor,Shields,Crossbows,And maybe even a few alchemical Ampoule bolts (Magishock bolts or Infernus bolts (Hunh,I just made a semi-avoidable WH40K nod))And hell,While at it,Why not just throw half of the shit from Chivalry in it......The game chivalry...Specifically Chivalry:Medieval Warfare
Looks interesting so far. I'll favorite and like the story, I want to see how will you continue it. And I really want to see how will you make Humans and Ponies ally, though I think I already know...
Can't wait for more, keep up the awesome!
4106756
There's another story where humans have their own country. Thing is, the humans were crazy pissed off at Equestria. Here's the link.
Love it
4108215 hmmm it seems you like what I like IMA CHECK YO FAVORITES! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MORE READING!
I likwe the idea alot, but there is to much tell and not enough show.
It is confirmed, I am going to continue with the story and I've already started writing Chapter 1. If anyone is an Editor that would like to lend out their expertise, I would greatly appriciate it and it would help me release the latest chapter much faster.
i would like to see more of this
4118726 I could probably help you with the editing.
4118726 If you want, it would be a pleasure for me to edit this gorgeous story. Please do PM me if you're interested.
No update?
4220296 i've been quite busy these past week with workout/studies/friends I am still alive and actively writing, I aldo have other stories that u can check out
4221515
Ok, ty