Brony, Gamer, Way too much time on my hooves
Twilight thought the changelings were done and dusted until she receives a surprise visit from someone who needs her help, and a story of conspiracy and deception leads Twilight to ask herself. Who can she really trust?
(Set in between the events of the Equestrian Girls movie and the season 4 premiere)
Cover art, courtesy of RandWulf.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not bad. I like this store
Your story is good so far its coming together good. Keep at it.
Hmm... this story has a lot of potential
Though I don't understand why twilight lied to celestia about the "dream"
Keep writing. You've done a great job of catching and keeping my interest In the story.
Must have more!
Great chapter!!!!
You know what would be funny? If Celestia now thinks Twilight has prophetic dreams^^
Huzzah!! The espionage has been doubled!!!!!!
4037026
*Spoilers*
Perhaps I didn't communicate that properly, but the reason she lied is because
she didn't want to draw any attention to the changelings in case they were telling the truth.
She was starting to believe them by this point already and she feared that if she told princess Celestia that there were changelings hiding near Ponyville, she might take drastic action which would only make problems worse.
The whole story about the dream was made up to explain why she had been asking these questions without attracting unwanted attention.
I hope that makes more sense, thank you for your input.
4038676
Favourite comment so far
I could see the relationship working. You should explore it more.
Interesting story. Will fav
And after Dolus hid behind Flutters and she nuzzles him made me dawwww... shipping is mandatory
gotta agree with the other two... shipping is mandatory
If you ship it well and don't go silly overboard (ie- keep it real and not OOC for the sake of rabid shipping) then sure! Dolushy is a go!!
Sorry, I've just seen too many bad ships that ruin an otherwise good story.
You're off to an alright start.
Ship it like FedEx
I think the opposite. It sounds like the prince is still angry but regains calmness to focus and prepare to have his troops ready to do his orders. The calm before the storm, so to speak...
And a timid changeling hiding behind an even more timid pegasus. Too... freakin... cute...
Never knew a changling could be that shy.
Another idea you could do a small spin off story via the pov of Dolus and how he bonds with Fluttershy, so you can focus on Twilight trying to prevent vano from proclaiming war. You could give hints with fluttershy getting close to the timid changeling but you don't have to go all out and so you can concertrate on the plot. Might be easier for u to think things out.
“They’re confused and hurt so they’re lashing out. It wouldn't be this way if Celestia didn't kick the hornet’s nest.”
Very clever metaphor. (;
The changelings losing sounds to easy to me... For all anyone could know they could of turn them self's in to the royal guards.
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<_<... >_>... no comment
4215994 heh heh... MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
oh you hahaha
Now this is getting interesting!
You write very well.
Calling it now different hive
I hope my hive didn't attack without alerting me...
Okay... I didn't see that one coming
Nice twist having Flash Sentry being Prince Vano. Looking forward to see how this plays out.
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but you were right about the guards being changelings, in a sense.
4346360 Yes I guess I was
I don't know what to make of this chapter. It was cute but seems like an out of place filler to me. Didn't twilight just escape jail and she's hanging with her friends? You think she'd be more on guard or tense. Idk...
4381233 ... I really don't wanna spoil anything, but...
I think there's a detail or two you might be missing... 
oh I really wanna tell you, but I can't spoil it...
Ok so I admit the chapter felt kinda like a filler, but I wouldn't call it out of place just yet... I took a slightly different approach for this chapter because for the whole story, you're following over Twilight Sparkle's shoulder and trying to figure out things along side her, but this chapter was written to specifically to mess with the reader even though Twilight knows whats up... I tried to leave a couple of subtle hints here and there at what's really happening but I guess I might have been a little too subtle
It should make more sense in the next chapter, but until then... I'm sorry if you found it disappointing
I see where you're going with this
After what happened last time I can tell what going to happen next.
But I won't tell
4382499 I see you are wise to my attempts at deception. As I wear my top hat and my monocle, let us exchange happy pinkie grinny faces
4382325
Oops sorry... I reread the chapter and I think I know where you are going with this. I must have read this too fast last night. Pretty clever actually!
4383249 Yes good sir lets
Very good chap. Least everyone is in agreement. Btw: Dolus is the most freaking cutest timid changeling in this fandom. I still think a side story of Dolus and Fluttershy's meeting could make a fun adorable read. :)
4490807 The idea behind Dolus being timid as he is, probably went unexplained in the story (it's taken so long to write I don't even remember) The idea is that Vano is a strong leader, which means he's often a bit tough on his subjects so as to avoid them falling out of line. This lead to Dolus already being sort of afraid of him. But above all, Vano does his best to look out for the changelings, and since the ponies in power were against the changelings, he sort of has a policy against communicating with any pony because he doesn't want to risk anyone getting caught and endangering the rest of them.
Basically this means Dolus is defying his prince by remaining friends with Fluttershy, so that's why he's afraid of what Vano might do.
And then he's afraid of Twilight because she threatened him... twice I think.
And I suppose he may have been timid towards AppleJack because of what she said about the changelings, including him by default.
... Wow, Dolus can't catch a break.
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After what all he has been through, it wouldn't surprise me if Fluttershy had to comfort Dolus that his shadow wasn't going to hurt him.
4493056 Changelings do look awfully shadow-like
4493620
So I guess seeing his reflection would make Dolus jump
You gotta luv scaredy-lings
Keep up the good work!
Well someone want feeding
Wow, Luna's a jerk. Rare for a fan fic to go this route but in this case, it works.
No need to apologize for the lateness, we all got lives out of this crazed fandom!
4697903
I'm curious as to what you mean by "this route" I don't know much about story writing in general so I feel I may be missing something here.
Congrats on such a fast update and great chapter to boot. Drama can be hard to write, but if you have basic idea down it gets easier
i knew it
Will there a sequel set in this universe?
4703005
<.< >.> ... do people want a sequel?
Name it crab battle!
Convoluted plot about war and ethics.
Protagonist betrayed as a major plot twist.
Final battle against giant armored enemy.
Over reliance on massive info dumps.
Phone call at the end reveals massive plot twist.
One known character is secretly another known character.
Hideo Kojima? You write MLP fan fiction?
I find the reveal that Chrysalis is Luna to be quite a powerful sequel hook.
4708279
w-... wait... first, I don't know who Hideo Kojima is... and second, perhaps I made too confusing by throwing in the word "sister" but that isn't luna... *clears throat*
Celestia says
after reading a letter where Twilight mentions
The character also asked
when Princess Luna was there when the beast left, so she already would have known. She also mentions to Celestia
referencing that this character and Princess Celestia do not lead the same people.
First, the changelings are not Luna's responsibility by any means, and second, This comment wouldn't make much sense coming from Luna since she is the little sister of Celestia, Celestia is fully capable of taking over for Luna's roles if something were to happen to her just as she did when Luna was imprisoned on the moon and there's no reason to suggest that Luna might leave before Celestia. Also, in the previous chapter Luna mentioned
Suggesting that Celestia could have lied to her.
Basically Chrysalis and Celestia hatched this plot together and kept it between them two.
EDIT: Just looked up Hideo Kojima, I assume you were referencing the metal gear solid series? I've never actually played it myself, all I know is that there is a lot of stealth based game play and it's infamous (or famous) for it's tactic of hiding in a cardboard box.
hmm somehow I think the name doesn't really fit
yes
Be careful of the pov thing it can easily done wrong and then you are retelling what people already know^^.
Hmm and be careful with the death or it feels to much "because the plot demands it". Oh and don't kill twilight. And if you have to kill Vano make sure that there is a heir on the way and Twilight now rules the changelings^^