Shipping 💖11,669 stories ·9,737 members
Rainbow Dash7,252 stories ·4,141 members
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau49,217 stories ·5,457 members
Rainbow Dash is Best Pony3,007 stories ·1,063 members
Shining Dash 25 stories ·71 members
Badass Shining Armor170 stories ·249 members
Injured during a surprise Changeling attack while trying to protect Cadance, Shining Armor is temporarily relieved of his duties and sent to Ponyville until he recovers where he runs into an intriguing mare.
(Rated for language, with intense violence and bloodshed, with alcohol and sexual references)
Story image created by GammaEradon at deviantART.
Used with permission.
Page generated in 0.132 seconds
Total duration
800 users online
677,393 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hmm... Here's a pairing you don't see too terribly often. This could be intriguing.
Sooooo.....are Shining and Cadance married in this? I ask because of the AU tag and no one called her his wife.
I'm just looking at the character list and thinking, "This is going to be some interesting stuff..." Can't wait to see you write some more of this!
~SolidFire
Needs an editor
daaaaaaaaaaaaayum that sentence Is long!
Try
“Got it.” He replied before spotting a Changeling, that was flying after a young colt, chucking his helmet at it and knocking it to the ground. He then began racing to the child’s side with speed that lived up to his name.
Or something, theres also multiple paragraphs where words are missing and it doesn't make any sense!
Dayum Cadence, that's freaky!
When you sort all these mistakes out, ill give you a fave but for now, a like is all I'm giving you
This pairing is unheard of. It is unique.
I LIKE IT!!!!!!!
3203142
No they are not...the day of the flashback Shining Armor and Cadance were in a serious relationship and he was going to propose but, that all changed when the Changelings attacked...
3203152
Do you want to be my proofreader?
The last person I had wasn't very punctual and unresponsive to most private messages due to school work.
3203218 enope, just because I showed you the mistakes doesn't mean I'll proofread for ya' sorry
Oh man... I been waiting for SO LONG!
3203257
I thought as much.
Like the concept. Though it feels like this chapter was a bit rushed. Changeling attack and suddenly, Shining is in Ponyville.
Just some constructive criticism. So far, I'm liking the idea. Interested to see where this goes...
3203534
Yeah, I was under a lot of pressure to crank this out ASAP-hopefully the next chapter will make more sense.
3203207
So would you say that...
Everything changed when the Changeling nation attacked?
3204182
Yes, I screwed that one up, didn't I?
3203205
Actually the ship featured in this story was teased in another Alternate Universe fic called 'Rainbooms and Royalty'.
Where Rainbow Dash becomes Celestia's student instead of Twilight after creating the first ever Sonic Rainboom.
(I suggest checking it out, it's a good read!)
3203280
Sorry, it sucks so bad.
mad, not made
hammer, not hammering
Other than that, good chapter. Keep up the good work.
That one changeling with the morphed hoof to serrated blade was so Terminator T-2000. Sucks to be Shinning at that moment.
Flash's letter was so 'professional' lol. I always liked the idea that since they were short on staff, they allowed just about anypony to come from far across the lands. Eventually, Shinning Armor met THIS pegasus named Flash that was as Bro-dude as he was, and made him Captain after a few corn dogs and sharing cool bro-stories with each other.
Flash's childlike behavior and the Crystal Palace's lack of professionalism due to being only reawakened after so long and trying to establish a proper army for a place that's heavily reliant on the Crystal Heart and its Princess. Well, one can only imagine a lot of complacent ponies that just assume that since bad things rarely happen up there, that they can take it easy most the times.
I wish you would keep Flash out of the story. its just filler.
3231430
He and Sunset are going to be important later.
Plus, it was meant to help begin important character development that Equestria Girls had completely disregarded for both characters as well as important information on this universe's Changelings.
In Sonic Rainboom, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had no idea that flight or cloudwalking spells were possible. If they had grown up around unicorns and earth ponies visiting, the episode would have played out differently.
Why bring race into this? It's not as though high society has been shown as predominantly unicorn in the show. If anything, we've seen more rich and high society earth ponies than unicorns (Photo Finish, Sapphire Shores, Hoity Toity, any number of earth ponies in The Best Night Ever...).
Wait, I thought it was the 'classy' bars that were supposed to be full of racists.
3231762
This is an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE fic which includes a different timeline and not all characters and species are necesarily going to be the way they are in the show. (Hence the tag-which you seemed to have missed.)
This was also discussed in the previous comments which you can see below.
Clay isn't racist, but he has great disdain for most of the rich, snobby Unicorns in Canterlot specifically for their superiority complexes and he expresses it freely.
He has no issues with Unicorns in general.
Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle having a such a high position in the royal guard and their parents working two jobs (leaving Twilight needing a babysitter like Cadance) before being accepted into Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns implies that they have a large amount of wealth.
In that regard, he is an exception to that 'snobbish' demographic as he is pretty grounded despite his position and privileged upbringing.
This was the reason for his comment.
3231923
The alternate universe tag typically manifests in one of two ways. Either a specific event or set of events occurs differently, changing the course of the otherwise identical universe, or else the entire universe is given a makeover.
This story had every indication of being the former, that the alternate part of the universe was when the changelings launched a preemptive strike, and that the differences would play out from that point. That's the impression that the summary gives, and that most elements of the existing chapters give.
You're welcome, of course, to change whatever you like about the universe. But it is advised that you present it in such a manner that the reader can tell when a change is an intentional deviation from the established history. In the instances I highlighted, it did not appear to me that you were making intentional changes. Alternate universe should never come across as though you're mistaken on what actually happened in the show.
Still comes across as a bit of a bigoted generalization, particularly since it comes only a page or so down from when we are told (not shown) that Canterlot unicorns are racist in ways that other ponies are not.
3232593
i'm having a really hard time being able to tell if you're trying to be constructive with your criticisms or just being a smart-ass (which I have had MORE than enough of from people lately).
3234656
I'm trying to point out what seem to me as substantive issues with the story as you've released it so far. You bring up the specter of Canterlot unicorn racism as a matter of background exposition. You do not demonstrate any unicorns behaving this way; instead we're forced to take the exposition at face value. You give a couple of what look to be references to the show as evidence, but as I pointed out earlier, the actual facts of the show do not correlate. Once that exposition is completed, the first pony that we actually see making a racially insensitive statement is an earth pony saying something insensitive about unicorns in the bar that has been explicitly called out as a less racist environment.
When I said "Wait, I thought it was the 'classy' bars that were supposed to be full of racists," I was being somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I don't think that one statement by your bartender makes him a horrible racist. I was trying to illustrate the conflict between your exposition and your events by juxtaposing them.
And I stand by my statement that when you're putting the "alternate" into "alternate universe," you need to be careful to make clear that the changes you're making are intentional. You did this more-or-less correctly with the changeling attack. Between the summary and the manner in which the events play out, it's easy to see that the attack is intended to diverge from the main series continuity. It's possible that there could have been a couple more hints in the first chapter to make clearer that the attack happened prior to A Canterlot Wedding, but I had no difficulty following along with it.
When it comes to things like the prevalence of cloud-walking spells, however, there is no real indication in the story that this is supposed to diverge from main-series continuity. In fact, there's plenty of evidence that they shouldn't! Consider that chapter two indicates that Rainbow Dash did perform the sonic rainboom, as in the show. This implies that the events of the episode Sonic Rainboom happened more-or-less unaltered. But those events were premised on cloud-walking and wing-creation spells being rare, if not unheard-of. The overall appearance created by putting these facts together is not one of an alternate Equestria where cloud-walking spells are commonplace. Instead, it merely appears that you either forgot what happened in Sonic Rainboom, or that you didn't think through the implications properly. If you say that it was intentional, then I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that, but that's not the way it appears from a direct reading of the story.
If that's not constructive enough for you, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to jerk your chain.
3234817
Sorry, I've been an edge lately because a lot of other users have been much less constructive and more personal with their criticisms on some of my other stories recently and I was having trouble figuring out if you were just another one of them.
Or if you're genuinely trying to be helpful and I've just been misinterpreting your comments as a roundabout way of doing the same.
But now that I know that it's the later, I'm sorry for jumping down your throat like that-you've just caught me during a bad month.
3235525
It's cool.
Wait... Flash Sentry is Shining Armor's stand in?
Wasn't he called a Private in EqG?
*Looks at MLP wiki*
Why do I remember him being called a Private?
Hm...
Yeah, I smell a trap.
So begins the great siege of the Crystal Empire.
Flash, that was a changeling you were just talking to
Green flash...
Her aura is blue.... I sense changelings
Whenever a character goes on like that, he loses my sympathy.
Right into the heart of a proud stallion who recently just lost part of his pride.
Nice work, and wlecome back but it feels you can do so much more with a chapter.. its just feels so short
Post the next feathering 6 pages soon! Love Shining Dash stories, but their so few and far in-between!
3729199
I'll get to work on them, then.
If you are interested in this ship there is a group called Shining Dash which is all about these two.
I plan on submitting future stories about this ship there in the future.
Do you mean crystals? I have no idea what a chrysalide is
3771025
Yeah, before writing this chapter I wasn't entirely sure either.
I specifically had to look up the plural for a chrysalis-which is kind of like a cocoon.
Sort of like this;
i.imgur.com/yHpKJ.png
Sorry, I should explained that better in the chapter.
3771813 ooooh I see
3687285
You'r right.
I'm sorry.
I like where this is going.
Huh for some reason this see,s better written than the last chapter
MOAR!!
3969887
Sorry for the delay, I've also been working on a one-shot ShiningDash slice of life story-since I missed Valentine's/Hearts and Hooves Day.
I should have it up later tonight-if not early tomorrow morning.
3987232 * squee!*
God I can't wait for the next update!
can't wait till next chapter and I hope you finish your one-shot soon, I'm really interested to see how that goes.