It's been nearly a year since Twilight Sparkle entered the newest phase of her adulthood: princessdom. And with that change come a lot of other changes, big and small.
However, there is one thing that hasn't changed: her bedtime.
When Twilight's foreign-born mother, Twilight Velvet, comes to visit, all Tartarus breaks loose in the Sparkle household after Twilight comes home late from a party. Unfortunately for everypony involved, neither mare is backing down--at least, not without a few good shouting matches.
Story edited by John Perry, Roger Dodger, and Nick Nack (they are all beautiful men deserving of your love).
Picture edited by me. Twilight Velvet vector by TrueDesknight. Twilight Sparkle vector by Flutterflyraptor. Library background by Martinnus1 (they are all beautiful peoples deserving of your love).
Comments are always, ALWAYS appreciated.
To read. I'm going to sleep, goddammit.
lolz
Sequel! I want to see a sequel! Oh um only if you want to though
… Well, that happened. It was a nice little story, with a good point about how Twi's family would've reacted to all the bullish*t she gets herself into. I enjoyed it!
Ha, "Niedlich" and "Besitz"!
...
...
...
Ow... my kidneys.
Ha, this was crazy! Loved it!
I bet only twilight will be courage enough to say that Luna's fic was bad. Anyway, great story
Twilight Clopina Sparkle
oh you didn't...
"Besitz"
can someone please tell me tha correct english translation of this word?
Googel translat said it to be "Possession", but I'm not sure since it seemed out of place in the sentence....
I mean, “And I think that we both agree that grounding you now is the best way to keep you out of trouble.” She smiled. “Right, possession?” seems very weird to me!
4109090
Possession is the correct translation.
4109103
WHAT!? She call her husband "possession"!?
Anyway, great story! I laughed so hard at parts!
4108967
No, Twilight would not tell her it was bad, but Trollestia would!
i gotta say if my mother tried to treat me like that i wouldnt listen she could try all she wanted but i would still do what i want (within reason) and i probably would have blasted her, id regret it later but she wouldnt have been permanently injured
When Luna says "Th-that is a lie! I know it is!” It should be "TIS A LIE!!"
Other than that I like it
Oh. My. Celestia!
I absolutely love this!
it smells like............BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKSSSSSS
wrongside1.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/no-way-gif.gif?w=549
Just wait the "Official Rainbow Dash Fan Club" hears about this
TWILIGHT'S AN ADUUULLLTTT
What.
I read this with this song playing... I wound up falling out of my chair laughing.
Sparkle household?
Also
That doesn't work. Niedlich is an adjective, it doesn't work the way you used it there
Other errors:
The correct form: „Right, Eigentum?“
The correct form: „Es tut mir leid“
I'm not sure what to say about this.
Is Luna's novel a reference to something? If not you should write it as a sequel.
4110381
Meh, works just fine.
Can more-or-less be accurately translated into lovely or sweet, such as when someone says "my sweet."
Hmmmmm.
I like the concept of Twilight's mother having a crisis over her children, but I'm not completely behind this story.
It was going well up until Velvet grounded Twilight. Just before that Twilight very calmly and deliberately refused Velvet, but then Velvet "grounds" her, and Twilight (along with every other character) becomes completely psychotic. They were bouncing around emotions and actions so fast that my whiplash had whiplash, and I think it's all the comedy's fault.
If it had stayed more to drama I think it would have worked, but it ventured into this odd absurdest territory in order to build tension and I just felt left adrift among strange behavior.
Allow me then to be one of the first to say I thoroughly enjoyed this! The comedy and playing up of certain aspects really made this a fun read. Especially liked the bizarre Pinkie-opening. Reminded me of The Simpsons in terms of plot setup.
Would've liked to have seen more reactions to the Abduction headlines, Nightlight and perhaps Celestia, but otherwise, excellent job!
hilarious, lol love Lunas character
That got a good chuckle from me.
I just couldn't stop laughing at that last line! Gold I say! This is gold!
100% serious here, I would have physically assaulted Velvet. I would make her bleed. I HATE her. Or at the very least I would't have forgiven her. Leav e her sobbing in public. She does not deserve to be forgiven.
She treats her child like she's a common criminal and expects a 'sorry, i was scared' to work? I'd sooner believe Celestia hates cake, then believe Velvet was sorry. She was sorry Twilight refused to listen, if anything.
Oh I didn't know that Luna talked newer English I'm sorry that I don't get the channel that has mlp on it
Clopina?
Man... Velvet is a... not-very-nice person. Even putting aside her issues with letting go of Twilight, if Google Translate is right she called her husband "Possession", she straight up lied to the press, causing a national crisis, and called Princess Luna "not a real princess", when just a year ago, maybe not even, she was reverted from Nightmare Moon, which was caused by not feeling like a "real Princess" like Celestia was.
All of this, so she could enforce a bedtime on her daughter, who is anywhere between 17 and 27.
Some of this has to be illegal in some way. Or barely legal at least.
MY MIND IS FULL OF FUCK AND I LOVE IT
Wow... and I though MY mom was overprotective...
"Smells like badly written young adult fiction."
Huh... Guess Twilight knows the smell of her own name.
4109090 - That seems to be what besitz translates to. I found it rather strange as well.
this fic is in strong need of the "random" genre tag and the Velvet character tag.
4111410
The description did say she was foreign born. So, my current theory is now that she is from another world altogether.
Interesting story. But it didn't quite seem consistent with itself. It's like you took time to show what Velvet was like with Twi's friends, and then completely threw that characterization out the window for the rest of the story.
4112359
Mm!
The story was good, but I didn't find it that all funny, also finding out what Velvet said still gives me a straight face. So in all, it's a 5/10.
It was funny, I like it.
But no Applejack?
4110552 No, "niedlich" just means cute. It doesn't work the way it's used here. We Germans say "Süße" instead
I still loathe Velvet. She's a liar, and ends don't justify the means. Whatever she wanted to achieve, she should pay for her crimes she committed on the way there.
"Rejoicing aside, now, mom, for imprisoning the royalty you are hereby sentenced to a month of prison, in the deepest dungeon of Canterlot. If you are truly sorry, you will accept it without protests."
That's the least.
But more like
"Bravo! Bravo! That was a really fine show! I'd probably believe you if I didn't know you're likely to think up any most foul lie and swindle your way through any obstacle to have it your way. I am adult now, and I don't believe your lies anymore. Go find some other victim - and *snarl* stay away from my friends, or, Celestia help me, you will be the first pony I ever killed in my life."
Delightful!
The redemption at the end was a tad forced, but other than that, I loved it.