To Admins: I am remaking this story. I didn't mean to submit it and can't get rid of the likes and dislikes even by unsubmitting it.
When a 17 year old named Jake dresses up like an evil sorcerer for a Halloween party, he makes the mistake of adding an evil-looking amulet of an alicorn. When he puts it on, he's magically transported to the land of Equestria. Several misunderstandings later, Jake, now known as "Zathrix", is marked public enemy number 1. This is his journal(though every once in a while I may have it as the actually seen).
Warning, this fic will suck, it is one of mine, so you should know this by now.
Also, swearing.
Inspired by Malideus by the genius known as Uberdeathninja and The Rise of Darth Vulcan by the mad man known as RealityCheck and this thing!!!!
Anyone know where I can get a good evil-sorcerer-king-kind pic?
The ONE time I actual try and get prereaders, editors, and other assorted help, I can't find it. WTF!?
that's kind of awkward, try "I was currently planning for a costume party hosted by my friend"
let's see where this goes
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Lolwut.
weird combo of both, they yell rainbow attacks, fight back, then the crowds attacks with misc items... gotta be original man
originality is nice, come up with YOUR story and if you do cut and paste someplece along the lines, give that a bit of a persona touch as well please
good start so far
4186683 I have created a few original story ideas. Most of them were terrible, slowly devolved into terribleness, or I just don't known how to continue without ruining.
lulz your description is great. I will read later.
yeah, Rainbow isn't the brightest around and Flutters needs to be bitch slapped quite a bit
4355890
she always deserves to be bitch slapped no matter how cute people call her
4355895 update this story
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NOAW!
4362934 I'm waiting for some feedback. I'm not too good at this.
4364164 I like it, ALOT
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Is that enough?
4366041 huh....hummm..... not quite. I need to know what people think should happen next.
4121525 no offense but same
Explosions. You have Gore tag.....why not go into detail on how that bitch slap breaks the bones in Fluttershy's face and blood goes flying.
More just fucking more.
I like this. I find it funny. 4/5 decapitated alicorn heads.
4610394 thank you, you Templar piece of trash. Remember
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Not bad so far- the remaking is doing well. Keep up the better writing and increase your orginazation of your writing and I'd see this going places!
By organization try more solidified POV (point of view) sections, and try to organize your paragraphs a bit more.
About time you, magnificent bastard.
I'l go with "sorcerer's telekinesis doesn't not produce an aura." tho his other spells should.
Maybe his spells aura can change base on his emotions?
More god dammit!
5373833 but I'm so lazy!
Hmm... interested... will see where this goes.
i LISTENED to your other version of this, try expanding on that.
6437113 um... what. Listened? Which other version?
6437865 hang on..... maybe...... idk anymore, i think i'm thinking of a different guy.
You know his name is very similar to mine.
6437964 I see.
6438850 Should I change it?
6441663 dude, this is really similar to this story. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/148738/malideus
6443392
There is literally an entire genre of MLP fanfiction around UberDeathNinja's Malideus.
I much prefer the insults in this one. Repeatedly. With a sword.
6445742 oh.... i didn't know that as i am still new here.... sorry if i offended you dragonlover.
6443392 I think I mentioned it in the inspirations... *checks* yes, I did.
6445742 thank you. I've always been good at that.
6446875 no problem. All about dat
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Awesome comrade please make more
6496561 I'm working on it. Albeit slowly. Very slowly. But it is happening. Like global warming(perhaps not the best comparison).
6510285 Close enough
6514152 yeah....
6520971 ...Not awkward at all...
6522056
6535077 *Laughs insanely*
6536717 *eats the moon* No wait, the tides... *puts the moon back*
6547304 *Bites on reality* Wait this feels weird *Burps* Nope nevermind
Well that was funny ????????????????
Hey, man! Your writing is getting a lot better. You still need some practice, but this story is much better than some of your other ones. Keep up the good work!
Not bad. Only thing wrong for me is pacing. Just a little bit too fast. Otherwise, perfectly fine. Shame the story is dead, since, you know, last comment besides mine right here is from March 2016?
No this is the first fic of yours I have seen and I will try it out and it is impossible to write worse than the first fick I dropped due to writing that one wos 87.3% unreadable.