Journal of a Conquering Sorcerer

by Dragonlover553

Chapter 4

"You know what?!" the purple pony princess asked. "I'll deal with this later. For now, give me the Alicorn Amulet!"
"Again, no." I said firmly. "I paid the price, therefore, it belongs to, say it with me, this guy." I declared, pointing at myself with my free hand.
"As a princess of Equestria, I order you to give me the Alicorn Amulet!" She replied.
"And as an American, I say, fuck you. Literally. Repeatedly. With a sword." I countered. The nearby ponies gasped.

I'm still not sure whether it was the fact that I had stood up to their leader, so easily ignored the royal's so-called "authority", used harsh language, or that I had told the female to get sword-raped, that evoked this reaction from the nearby ponies. Perhaps all of them. It isn't particularly important.

"Oh come on!' I shouted. "You can't be that sheltered!"
"U-use of c-coarse language is prohibited in High Society." Responded a white and purple one, whom I had not seen arrive, nor notice until that point, stuttering.

In hindsight, the fact that I had been distracted enough to miss her arrival completely should have set off a few warning bells. But come on, she's just so posh. She registers a -1.5 on the 1 to 10 Threat-O-Meter.

"Well, his is a -rather rural looking- village. Rather small too. Couldn't have more than a few hundred residents. Generally speaking, this is about as far from "High Society" as one can get in a first-world country, if indeed that this is. And," I reasoned, "were this not one such country, there would be no such mention of "High Society" to begin with." I smiled and nodded at my own logic.

Then, quite suddenly, It all went wrong. Er. Wronger. It was already rather bad to begin with.

Suddenly, a blue blur shot at me. A Word of Power came to my mouth unbidden:

A Divine Word, to be precise. TYPE-Moon style - power in the Words themselves, the capabilities of which are lost to modern magi. How do other incantations work? How the hell am I supposed to know?! Anyway, according to Fate Stay/Night(and as I latter discovered, my grimoire), modern humans and machines can't pronounce - nor hear them- properly enough to evoke any effect. Something about mankind moving on after the death of the gods...damn it Nasu, why you make no sense? Why can I use them? Not sure. The Amulet gives me Regression to the Age of the Gods? What Rank? This requires further experimentation.

"Μαρδοξ" At the Word's invocation, a dome of translucent -nearly transparent- red energy appeared around me. The blue one slammed into it with a crack, and fell to the ground, rendered unconscious by her own momentum. "Okay, everyone say that, right?" I shouted. "That was on her. She slammed into my shield, I did nothing to her there." The ponies stared at me mutly in momentary shock. "Also, she's bleeding a bit. Maybe more than a bit. In fact, I think she just lost a few teeth."By this point, one of the ponies had rushed to her aid. A pink one. "So yeah." I continued. "I'ma just, go now. Let you guys tend to your idiots- I MEAN WOUNDED. Yeah, wounded. Definitely wounded." I began walking away.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" shouted the purple one. "YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!"
"Hmm.." I replied." Yeah, see, that's not gonna work. Because you see, I'm American. Also, we've long since established that you don't have to power to take me."
"Oh really?!" Oh shit. I know that tone of voice. It's the I'm-insulted-with-your-underestimation-of-my-skill-but-will-now-kick-your-ass-with-my-formerly-underestimated-prowess-voice.

I suddenly realized just how deep the shit I'd gotten myself into really was.

Author's Note:

Sorry for taking so long(not really), and sorry for it being so short(I actually am sorry about that). It was mostly the fact that this got added to "Dead fics" that prompted my to update. COME ONE PEOPLE! GIVE ME SOME INSPIRATION!!

Comments

[NecromanCREEEEEE]

i LISTENED to your other version of this, try expanding on that.

[Dragonlover553]

6437113 um... what. Listened? Which other version?

[NecromanCREEEEEE]

6437865 hang on..... maybe...... idk anymore, i think i'm thinking of a different guy.

[Zatharax]

You know his name is very similar to mine.

[Dragonlover553]

6437964 I see.

[Dragonlover553]

6438850 Should I change it?

[NecromanCREEEEEE]

6441663 dude, this is really similar to this story. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/148738/malideus

[Knightmare Neko]

6443392
There is literally an entire genre of MLP fanfiction around UberDeathNinja's Malideus.

I much prefer the insults in this one. Repeatedly. With a sword.

[NecromanCREEEEEE]

6445742 oh.... i didn't know that as i am still new here.... sorry if i offended you dragonlover.

[Dragonlover553]

6443392 I think I mentioned it in the inspirations... *checks* yes, I did.

[Dragonlover553]

6445742 thank you. I've always been good at that.

[Dragonlover553]

6446875 no problem. All about dat
quickmeme.com/img/a0/a0278d6ebd9591c39e398b65ed9c5dd9d7d6ea7686578f1088d41908c6b92ca4.jpg

[JackieFingWeeks]

Awesome comrade please make more

[Dragonlover553]

6496561 I'm working on it. Albeit slowly. Very slowly. But it is happening. Like global warming(perhaps not the best comparison).

[JackieFingWeeks]

6510285 Close enough

[Dragonlover553]

6514152 yeah....

[JackieFingWeeks]

6520971 ...Not awkward at all...

[Dragonlover553]

6522056

[JackieFingWeeks]

6535077 *Laughs insanely*

[Dragonlover553]

6536717 *eats the moon* No wait, the tides... *puts the moon back*

[JackieFingWeeks]

6547304 *Bites on reality* Wait this feels weird *Burps* Nope nevermind

[Blaze the draconic mage]

Well that was funny ????????????????

[Razjel]

Not bad. Only thing wrong for me is pacing. Just a little bit too fast. Otherwise, perfectly fine. Shame the story is dead, since, you know, last comment besides mine right here is from March 2016?

[Status L]

Warning, this fic will suck, it is one of mine, so you should know this by now.

No this is the first fic of yours I have seen and I will try it out and it is impossible to write worse than the first fick I dropped due to writing that one wos 87.3% unreadable.