Everyone shall fear my writing skill. And really lazy updates.
Evil has come to Equestria in many ways. But they never expected a human and a sapient ring holding the soul of Corruption itself.
Inspired by stories like Malideus, F*** it I'm Having Fun, The Rise of Darth Vulcan, and the LoHAV universe in general.
While it is inspired and begins as a LoHAV, it is ultimately just a writing exercise.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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great fic. keep writing and do continue to release chapters in fast pace...just make sure that the story is long,not one that easily ends within few chapters
I love it! Also, what era is this in mlp? I get the feeling it's near 1000 years before the first episode, but i don't know for sure. I also hope this story lasts till it's real end, instead of just being cancelled. It's good so far, keep up the good work! Have a moustache!
not a bad first go at Fimfiction, not to mention everything is starting at the 'When' of when he arrived in Equestria and not a thousand or so years down the line and everything being told in flash back.
might have to try THAT when I finally get around at my try as well
I'll follow to see where this goes
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Great start for this fic and will probably will haul some more people in
4222488
Close. He arrives about a eleven hundred years before the show.
Not bad
Cool!
I accidentally unpublished. Thats the thing about using mobile phones to read. Sorry.
No, I think they have a contingency plan for that now. Something about too many mild-mannered humans in Equestria.
4271227
They do. Its a rather complicated one too. I believe it was 'send an untrained group of civilians to fire a rainbow beam at it'. Never failed them before.
4272372 and that's what most of the stories in league-of-humans-acting-villainous exploit
against someone or thing that actually means to harm and or wont buckle under a 5 yr old level stare, Equestria has no real defense
4272804
True dat.
new chapter coming up soon?
4345997
If I don't have writer's block, then I should have one in a few days. If I do, then a week.
Or I might just surprise you.
Typing 'HA', get a voice typing program 10 min 2000 words then go back proof read it and fix the words it picked up wrong and your done (It saved me a lot of time with 20,000-50,000 word essays for school).
4454739
My problem is not the typing itself. I type pretty fast. It's the research and reviewing of facts that gets me.
See? More proof that violence can solve problems. If he'd just reduced Pony Mario to his composite molecules, he'd be safe(r) from the wrath of a pissy demi goddess.
wait, the guy killed five people and it's all brushed off as if it's something unimportant? What the Hell??
Also, you have too many tags in this story
4271227
Whoa, I had no idea I'd find you commenting on this thing.
Also, in regards to the story itself: it fells like...there's an enormous disconnect between the protagonist and his surroundings. Like...you've read "Rise of Darth Vulcan" so I'd suggest reading it again for an example of how to do it right, but...it makes no sense for ponies to remark on how much he resembles a Diamond Dog a day after the skirmish. It doesn't make sense for no one to have remarked on the lengthening of the Dog's swords.
How is the protagonist still so calm after having been separated from his family, from his life and routine, and being plopped in a world where he has no money, no lodgings, and no prospects?
Why do the soldier ponies trust him so much after minutes of meeting him, and why does Tempered Steel say he knows how to use the sword when he has explicitly said he has no idea how to use it?
What.
Just...what.
he's just been viciously assaulted, in his sleep, he's just been in excruciating pain after what's an incredibly traumatic experience (been assaulted in his sleep) and the first thing he does...is get up, go downstairs, and get something to eat.
He doesn't take a minute to piece together what the hell's happening, he doesn't think about the fact he's either killed a pony or just gotten an enemy (if the shopkeep ain't dead, and if the transformation into slug is temporary, what do you think is gonna happen? Oh, and now he should be worrying about whether rumor could get around that the only human in the world is also a reality warper. But he doesn't. He doesn't think about what could get him killed or warp his mind beyond recognition.
He thinks about how he can get something to eat.
4630947 LoHAV died long ago, because the remains are only a class of stories one would read to amuse oneself of how bad they are. Your story happens to be in the edge of good and bad one, though it leans more to good because it hasn't fallen to the same traps as many of the others.
We'll see in the next few chapters which side the balance will shift.....
well, Luna's fucked isn't she? when I read the last paragraph, all I could think was: goparallel.sourceforge.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Untitled.png
4630840
"Edgy" and "somewhat unhinged" are exactly the same thing.
*prepares ass for reaming*
Well, I like the story. Sure, the protagonist could be improved but character development is always possible as the story progresses. Throw in a romance tag, make everyone gag!
And I also like the LoHAV stories as well
They entertain me, which is what I'm looking for in a fanfic.
And now here comes the reaming.
Oh, and he should probably give himself Troll regeneration. Between the Axolotl* and various lizards, it'd probably be safer than the Vision gene.
*Seriously, what the fuck? Axolotl passes the spell check, while I had to manually add prestidigitation?
4631515 no, I'd call The Joker "somewhat unhinged" if not more, but not edgy
5419779
... That is actually pretty accurate. But now that I've reviewed the story and browsed through Fimfiction for some more, I have found out that there are way too many edgy human fics. There are also too many friendly human fics. So I'm just going to make a compromise somewhere there.
I'm probably the only one that get's irked by this and it's kinda just a gripe, but "sapient" refers to "ape-like". I think the word you want is "sentient", which means "self aware".
5419897
I was actually referring to this meaning. But I guess you can use sentient instead of sapient with how I used it.
5419906 Ah, I see. We are using different dictionaries. (I'm using google's.)
Tsk. They really should have given him a picture or at least a description. Thats kind of important when it comes to killing a specific individual.
And if one's plan for an assassination is 'walk up to the guy and stab him', one might as well use white phosphorous grenades to make sure it takes.
5424032
Assassins didn't have a long life expectancy in the distant past, considering their loadout and tactics. And you're also absolutely correct. They should have showed him a description. Maybe they did and he just forgot. Then again, he was having a bit of a headache and kind of in a hurry to not be mauled by the dogs in the room.
uhh... What the heck is a LoHAV?
5780616 League of Humans Acting Villanous.