Deathsia
Joined 7th Feb, 2012 ·
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...WTF did I just read.
Quick note, horses have two nipples, not six. Back to reading.
...Anyway. Good story with a few minor errors, one being the nipple count and another being the gestation period, which seems to be very short unless I missed a handful of months in there. There were a lot of spelling errors, wine that should be whine for example, and lots of grammar issues. Your accent was pretty atrocious as well, but I understand it can be hard to do correctly if you have direct experience with it.
the girls seem to be in character, at least.
Umm....say what now?
Um derp? It's "Minute" not "Minuet" also weirdest story I've heard XD
Wow. When I first saw this story with its ALLCAPS chapter names and the comments about errors, I wasn't expecting much.
But this is damn good!
Um... horses do not menstruate.
But minor factual errors aside, excellent.
Horses also do not speak. Or build houses. Or run farms. Or cast magic. Or fly.
Last time I checked, anyway.
345053
Yes, i know this now. course i never bothered to check out horse anatomy until recently to help me improve my writing.
I don't understand the ending at all. But I guess if there's apart two coming out than I'll have to read it...
This looks like one of those really funny weird clop fics you see every now and again. I will probably need to read this, so I'll track for later.
346140
I sort of left that one alone due to the fact that people like using human traits for the ponies, just correcting when it fits neither horse or human like the nipples and gestation period.
I like this story, I don't care much for mistakes etc, just be a bit more descriptive, and it will be perfect, onto chapter 2!
Another, good chapter, liked this one, too. Reading the rest tomorrow
oh man this is fuggin, just....
this is a good story
I must say, bro/sis/whatever it is that you are,
you are a good writer so here is an epic writer
th01.deviantart.net/fs21/PRE/i/2007/279/2/5/The_Writing_Writer_IV_by_Sangokyu.png
your rewerd for being awesome
apllejack is FUUUUUUUCKED
just stole a baby from her mother
there is NOTHING more dangerous than a woman who´s child was robed
and this gal
Great story!
The ending made no sense though.
346140 but they are weird humanod ponies
apple jack you bucking donkey hole
feel ashamed
347118>>347795
You guys aren't thinking straight. It can't be Applejack cause she was all for Apple Bloom keeping the foal. No, I'm afraid it was someone who was a bit more omnipotent. Someone like.....TROLLESTIA!
That meddling bitch, how dare she do such a thing to Apple Bloom!
Wow, not bad. This was halarious. Calling the male genetic organ a weiner is funny. Making all the fillies masturbate within the first few paragraphs is funny also. Spike the pedophile having fun with younglings makes me laugh. Spike finishing in Sweetie Bell is even better. HOWEVER... Me having an erection at work is not funny. Thanks alot.
Another, brilliant chapter, Be a bit more careful with the sad toned voice things, over using them
this was what i was the reason i was reading this fic this whole hour reading it was worth of it
of joy
You my friend make me
Again, another brilliant chapter, sorry about so many comments, but I love this story, very good!
348769shudup
Lost interest now, I wanted the foal to die in the end, would've made a better story in my eyes.
It obvious that Celestia just fuck up the whole story, i really hate divine interventions because they good intentions all always a little selfish, besides WHY THE HELL DID CELESTIA DECIDE THAT, WHEN EVERYPONY WAS GETTING ALONG WITH THE BABY, SHE NEEDED TO "RESCUE" APPLEBLOOM?!!!!!!
Actually, I like it again, her foal got kidnapped. HA!
encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS9VZ5OqfDl94wq7bTzO9OPJw4FnedOqoXmc_urQ9xAhMhMe5Zg
350965
Don't know, maybe you can tell me. because as far as i can tell, you just read a great fic..
um. She is fucked.
Um.Why did you just ruin the ending?
351883
there IS a reason for it. you'll find out in "A filly's tale" why.
351966 So ill get to read it soon?
FEEDBACK TIME: I'm not one for the 'Foalcon' stuff but I really enjoyed the story and its plot... that was until you PURPOSELY ruined the ending.
352029
Once it's approved yes.
352041
Oh yeah btw in one of your chapters here the image doesnt show.
352081
Fixed that. now the image shows
All in all though i had some dislikes at first, this story blossomed into much more than it let on. i think it was beautifully wrote, and only had a few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. it was amazing! ;)
When i first started reading this i was really, well, i hated it. but as i read on i realized something, or more fully, understood something. that understanding was for teenagers who get pregnant, I could put my name in instead of Roseheart and there i am. the only difference (which is pretty huge actually) is that I was adopted the DAY i was born, my adopted parents were actually in the delivery room watching, so i was named by THEM not my birth mom...
ohhhhhhhh shit! This is gonna be good if Applejack found out!
Ponies sure do cum alot! I wonder if my mom came every time i breast fed...
353265 That's really deep! Wow, do you keep in contact with your Biological parents?
Right, I haven't been able to get this story out of my head for some reason, it's just so damn... Enticing! I am actually astounded as to why it won't leave my brain, I must re-read it, again.
The only thing you damn well goofed on, is that you made the damn foal, basically a combination of the CMC, horn from Sweetiebell, skin toan from Scootaloo, and the hear form Applebloom, that's what ruined it for me, sadly.
Okay yep, I like it again. So where's this new story?
365617
actually, my reasons behind the looks of the foal were that i wanted it to have attributes from Applebloom as foals tend to have attributes from their mother's, but i wanted it to have attributes from the father too who is unknown but obviously a unicorn. that explain a bit?
love the story
it was comedic at first but slowly gained an air of seriousness to it
where did you get the picture from
GOD DAMN, WHY CAN'T I STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS STORY?! IT'S SO GOOD.
350055 What the buck is wrong with you?!
That cliffhanger.....
linking to a story on Hiatus...
you are pure evil!
