Wait, wtf? Did you just ruin the ending to a perfectly good story?

...Anyway. Good story with a few minor errors, one being the nipple count and another being the gestation period, which seems to be very short unless I missed a handful of months in there. There were a lot of spelling errors, wine that should be whine for example, and lots of grammar issues. Your accent was pretty atrocious as well, but I understand it can be hard to do correctly if you have direct experience with it.

the girls seem to be in character, at least.

Horses also do not speak. Or build houses. Or run farms. Or cast magic. Or fly.

Last time I checked, anyway.

345053

Yes, i know this now. course i never bothered to check out horse anatomy until recently to help me improve my writing.

I don't understand the ending at all. But I guess if there's apart two coming out than I'll have to read it...

This looks like one of those really funny weird clop fics you see every now and again. I will probably need to read this, so I'll track for later.

346140

I sort of left that one alone due to the fact that people like using human traits for the ponies, just correcting when it fits neither horse or human like the nipples and gestation period.

apllejack is FUUUUUUUCKED
there is NOTHING more dangerous than a woman who´s child was robed
and this gal just stole a baby from her mother

Great story!
The ending made no sense though.

apple jack you bucking donkey hole
feel ashamed

347118>>347795

You guys aren't thinking straight. It can't be Applejack cause she was all for Apple Bloom keeping the foal. No, I'm afraid it was someone who was a bit more omnipotent. Someone like.....TROLLESTIA! That meddling bitch, how dare she do such a thing to Apple Bloom!

348769shudup

It obvious that Celestia just fuck up the whole story, i really hate divine interventions because they good intentions all always a little selfish, besides WHY THE HELL DID CELESTIA DECIDE THAT, WHEN EVERYPONY WAS GETTING ALONG WITH THE BABY, SHE NEEDED TO "RESCUE" APPLEBLOOM?!!!!!!

Actually, I like it again, her foal got kidnapped. HA!

350965

Don't know, maybe you can tell me. because as far as i can tell, you just read a great fic..

Um.Why did you just ruin the ending?

351883

there IS a reason for it. you'll find out in "A filly's tale" why.

351966 So ill get to read it soon?

FEEDBACK TIME: I'm not one for the 'Foalcon' stuff but I really enjoyed the story and its plot... that was until you PURPOSELY ruined the ending.

352029

Once it's approved yes.

352041
Oh yeah btw in one of your chapters here the image doesnt show.

352081

Fixed that. now the image shows

All in all though i had some dislikes at first, this story blossomed into much more than it let on. i think it was beautifully wrote, and only had a few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. it was amazing! ;)

When i first started reading this i was really, well, i hated it. but as i read on i realized something, or more fully, understood something. that understanding was for teenagers who get pregnant, I could put my name in instead of Roseheart and there i am. the only difference (which is pretty huge actually) is that I was adopted the DAY i was born, my adopted parents were actually in the delivery room watching, so i was named by THEM not my birth mom...

353265 That's really deep! Wow, do you keep in contact with your Biological parents?

Right, I haven't been able to get this story out of my head for some reason, it's just so damn... Enticing! I am actually astounded as to why it won't leave my brain, I must re-read it, again.

The only thing you damn well goofed on, is that you made the damn foal, basically a combination of the CMC, horn from Sweetiebell, skin toan from Scootaloo, and the hear form Applebloom, that's what ruined it for me, sadly.

Okay yep, I like it again. So where's this new story?

365617

actually, my reasons behind the looks of the foal were that i wanted it to have attributes from Applebloom as foals tend to have attributes from their mother's, but i wanted it to have attributes from the father too who is unknown but obviously a unicorn. that explain a bit?

GOD DAMN, WHY CAN'T I STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS STORY?! IT'S SO GOOD.

That cliffhanger.....
linking to a story on Hiatus...

you are pure evil!

415893

I'm sorry!

I'll try to work on it soon, but you can't force creativity! Well, you can, but it always turns out to be crap if you do!

470430

This story is linked to a fanfiction series. be sure to read "A Filly's tale" for how this came to be.

471719 ah ok makes since no. thank you for givin me the info bruh. and great job on this story too. loved everybit of it

471719 ah ok makes since no. thank you for givin me the info bruh. and great job on this story too. loved everybit of it 472249 now*

APPLEJACK MUST BE EXTERMINATED!! ALL DALEK FIND AND EXTERMINATE APPLEJACK! EXTERMINATE!

531959

I'm warning ya now, this story is connected to a story series. i won't give away any spoliers, but i suggest that after you read this one you give "Return of nightmare moon" and "A Filly's Tale" a read. otherwise if you leave it at this story you'll be saying what alot of readers said before they found out"WHHY?!

beautifule!!

Bad grammar aside, this still isn't very well written. Not having their cutie marks at their age is improbable, Apple Bloom's accent is overdone (it's milder than Applejack's), and there are characterization issues among other things.

1675128

You just read a bonified foalcon clop fic!

25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me0jt67Jdl1r43egpo1_500.png

1679491

I hope you are aware that this is a story that is part of a multipart fic series, so the ending may leave you wondering wth happened unless you plan on reading "A filly's tale"

1775341

Just keep reading... also bare in mind this is a part of a multi-story series.

1784701 to which my witty reply is:
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSoUi6SX5brZ1PO6_6OR7OA8zgs1jOIkU-sr53ogz6QTc4L574J encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRVx4oYhXW5QR_VK3q_ptua5hjTeLWTOhoO_fwdGaI25Oqul4Lf encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTY50Fupff_NPR2XCxYoPd6PQ5q_twvC5dpqyMmZkA_0v7CgqGJ8w encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS-1MM_tijxI5ftHvHyJMHM19ZlH7OHc4bDmTpb5FTqPxJ-Nh919g

i didnt say i didnt like it. i thorughly enjoy your plot-filled smut. its just a little new to me. plus im 13

1775348 i plan to read ur entire multi series, if only for the plot.1784701 its impossible to have a plot-void clopfic. if there was no plot then it wouldnt be a clopfic

1675882 to which i would lol

1784902

My witty reply:

dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2074-mad.gif

1785580 i lol'd

nooooooooooooooo! nooootttt adoption!!!!!!!!!!

hmm the end was .... lame?

the story was awesome but the ending...and the idea of making a sequel just like that is not very cool to be honest

2024718

paradoxes always have a tendency to leave a bitter taste in ones mouth

2025089 yes they do i read your other comics Rari/jack and flutter/spike I LOVE THEM they are very good not for the sex but for the story telling and the adaptation of the characters that made me believe is a possible universe im going to check this week the rest of the stories but the universe you created sounds very interesting and I would really want to see a little but more

2025089 Sorry comic collector here I dont know why i said comic still the stories were amazing