Pressed Silver

Proper Noun #1 · Jan 26th, 2014 · · · Hammering Out The Details ·

I don't know. This story strikes me as a bit of a mess, and I don't mean the interdimensional/emotional mess it seems to be intended as. The sentence and paragraph structures are a primary culprit, being strange where they aren't outright jarring.

The story has some solid points and concepts, but I can't give it an upvote while it's in this state. Sorry.

ServingSpoon

ServingSpoon #2 · Jan 26th, 2014 · · · Hammering Out The Details ·

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3846805
Thats allright I know i am bad with grammar and i can't remember all the rules. i went over this at least 3 times to make sure it read to my satisfaction and tried to catch all I could.

it's okay if you dislike by the way I wrote it if that is your choice.

Personally I rate the story on how good the concept is as long as I can read it. but hey it's cool

Proper Noun

Proper Noun #3 · Jan 26th, 2014 · · · Hammering Out The Details ·

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3846889
My dislikes are for bad stories.

ServingSpoon

ServingSpoon #4 · Jan 26th, 2014 · · · Hammering Out The Details ·

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3846908
Well I went over it again and I think I MIGHT have caught some of the stuff you were talking about. My forehead hurts from all the I have been doing.

Noal

Noal #5 · Jan 26th, 2014 · · · Hammering Out The Details ·

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it confuses me greatly.

ServingSpoon

ServingSpoon #6 · Jan 26th, 2014 · · · Hammering Out The Details ·

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3847135 (sighs) I don't see how I can make it any clearer. It's a paradoxical situation only instead of dealing with alt selves from another time we are deling with alt Diamond Tiaras and their Spoons.

Universe1: Diamond Tiara Riche The Third (anthro) has abandoned her pet slave; Silver "Serving" Spoon, and gone to college out of state.

Universe2: Diamond Dazzle Tiara (human, possible EQG,) has somehow visited Serving Spoon in universe 1 and replaces her original mistress.

Universe3: Chubby Diamond Tiara (Pony) was the one who orchestrated this meeting between Universe1 Silver and Universe 2 Diamond. She is not present for it but she sends pics of herself in bondage to taunt her human self and you will see why.

Comment posted by ServingSpoon deleted Jan 26th, 2014

The Great Derpsby

The Great Derpsby #8 · Jan 26th, 2014 · · · Hammering Out The Details ·

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Mmmhmmm, this is a very interesting premise! I can't wait to see what else this project entails. Your work is, once again, so inspiring, I feel like a parasite just for reading it. Like some kind of brain lamprey. Not that I want to steal your ideas or anything! No, it's just some weird feeling between glee and guilt.^^

ServingSpoon