• Member Since 14th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

Stainless Steel Fox


A writer of various scribbles, I've recently become enamoured of Ponydom, and have done my limited best to write a few stories. I hope people enjoy them.

Sequels1

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A one shot AU fic for 'One Bad Apple'. Babs Seed did far worse things to the CMC than Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon ever did. However, she gets away pretty much scot free. But what if some-pony had seen what was happening and decided to take matters into her own hooves? (Uncredited image, if yours let me know.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 37 )

I enjoyed this! :twilightsmile:

I feel as if I've read this story before. Like right after the episode aired.

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Possibly. I put it up on fanfiction.net when I wrote it, which was shortly after the episode aired.

I enjoyed reading your story! In fact, I featured it in a blog post of mine. It's not much, but I hope it'll get you a couple of extra views. Keep up the good work! :ajsmug:

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

I wish this type of parenting would happen more often.

Excellent story well worth the read. If only bullying was handled with this much aplomb and grace in the real world.

RealityCheck gave a shoutout to this fic in one of his chapter notes. Consider that high praise.

Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

I really liked this story. It's great that you could give Babs some form of punishment, and still be able to redeem her. I also know about the other 3 chapters from reading it on FF.net, and I also enjoyed those too. :twilightsmile:

I'd like to ask you a question. What are you going to do about those chapters? Will they be exclusive to FF.net? Will you add them to this site as well? Something else?

I enjoyed this story, it's a good read.

Honestly, stuff like this is why I stopped watcfhing Friendship is Magic in the first place, no not well written fanfiction but the fact that amature fanfiction writers can write a better version of a episode in their spare time that would still fit as an episode of Frienship is magic, just add a song and more of a montage of building the apple float and this could have easily replaced the actual episode "One Bad Apple"

This is why "It's just a kids show" doesn't work as an excuse for poorly written episodes. Targeting kids does not excuse lazy or bad writing.

I completely agree with your rationale.

Y'know you have a bad episode when a FanFiction makes for a better version of said episode.

Really enjoyed the story. Great job! You've earned a fav! :pinkiehappy:

P.S. "Pony Island"? Why am I not surprised? :ajbemused: :facehoof:

Sad thing is AJ DID see Babs bully her sister but didn't care or somehow got it into her skull that Babs was being good for doing those mean things. Then Diamond Tiara bullies her sister right in front of AJ and AJ doesn't do anything. The scene where Babs pushes the CMC to get their float AJ was RIGHT THERE IN FRONT and just said "I'm glad to see you're sharing your float.

Finally sat down and read this. Glad I did. The Crusaders always had my sympathy in regards to the bullying they faced from Diamond Tiara, and it frustrates me that she barely gets any repercussions from her actions. It's nice to see her getting some in this 'fic.

This was a very satisfying read :twilightsmile: nice job giving everyone their just desserts. Sometimes, a Merry Sue (or Apple Sue) is exactly what the story needs. :scootangel:

5581800 You really think I wrote Applejack as a Mary Sue? That wasn't my intention.

Maybe I'm using the term incorrectly? I just loved the way she stepped in and fixed everything; it was nicely in character, well written and exactly what a competent adult should do in that situation.:twilightsmile:

5581913 Not really. One of the defining characteristics of a Mary Sue is that they're the protagonist, but are not challenged by events in the story and curb stomp any opposition into meat paste, and everyone automatically agrees with them. Writing a Mary Sue character is generally not considered to be a good thing.

While I can see that Applejack has some elements of Sueism, jumping in and stomping the antagonists, that's because she's a reasonable authority figure, an adult up against fillies. She's not the protagonist, and her viewpoint isn't the only valid one. Apple Bloom gets her to moderate her initial judgement by getting her to agree to not send Babs away if she repays them by helping build the replacement float.

Or look at Scootaloo in your excellent story. Pilot, medic, able to fly, with superstrength and cyberware, famous since she was very young, the source of lifesaving genetic engineering advances and cheap space travel. The thing that stops her from being a Mary Sue is that she still has challenges, problems she has to face and overcome. She learns and grows.

Other than Applejack speech feeling a little thick this is a good read. Standing up to bullies is good but Applejack felt stubborn and laying it on thick and that might have been in charater for Applejack but it could been handled better.
My idea for how to handle this in real life as a grown up:
1. Make sure the bully knows they are in trouble.
2. Then listen, at this point depending on the age of the bully they will try to justify themselves.
3. Make them see those reasons don't hold weight, preferably used reflective listening so the bully doesn't just ignore you.
4. If and when they have no 'good' reason point that out and make sure they understand.
5. Assign a appropriate punishment. A good example is what Applejack did to Babs, she abused her families hospitality and it was removed.
6. Follow up the bully. Depending on your relatenship with the bully (Teacher, boss, family member, know thier parents) this can take many forms. The point is to make sure the bully doesn't forget what they learned during 1-5.
7. Follow up with the victim. See if thier any other bullies, help them see they have worth, etc. this to can take many forms.

I do enjoy this story.

I have a question.

Are you going to upload the other 3 chapters you have on fanfiction.net?

7608744 Well, this does combine chapters 1 and 2 from ff.net. The others are really a separate story. Not that that in itself is a particular problem.

Edit: Okay, I added them as their own story, which they are really.

Okay... gonna have to come down.

Yes they should have been able to get back at Babs without too much trouble BUT the fact they were willing to forgive does prove they're stronger then her. ANYONE can get angry and attack others or even the one who hurt them but it takes STRONGER people to back down and just learn to move on. To submit and get down to the bully's level means they've gotten to you and that you're deep down just the same as them. Is it hard? Yes. But in the end you'll come out a better person. It's hard to be good but it's easy to be mean, and/or evil.

Excellent work on this.:twilightsmile:

MJP
MJP #26 · Jun 26th, 2017 · · 9 ·

what pisses me off about "one bad apple" is that they invented a character specifically to bully the CMC, when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were doing that enough already

and that it was a family member, with a completely asinine reason as to why, why couldn't Apple Bloom have a bit more of a family-type rivalry with Babs instead


the only thing that pisses me off more is the bullshit attempt to redeem Diamond Tiara

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I found the redemption just fine Kind of sad how she now jisf a back ground pony now that her only reason for existing is over.


Love the story

Babs Seed: She Who Fights Monsters.

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When Babs steals the float AJ was right there watching and just said, "I'm glad to see you're sharing the float with her." And when Babs confronted Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon AJ was right there and just watched it happen. And glaring isn't nearly enough.

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I had forgotten those scenes. I really need to rewatch this episodes.

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I never said it would end bullying forever. I was trying to maximize the chance the bully will cease being a bully and the victim will learn to stand up for themselves or at least be less prone to depression.

I REALLY like this.

I'm still mad what Babs did, 🙂but I am happy that she has gotten a another chance

👌Love your story

This version is better than the original story. I liked how they all learned except for diamond tiara being a bully is wrong and just because someone else is a jerk doesn't mean you should be.

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