Continuation in progress: A Circle Has No End
Changeling Eta-Gamma, now going by his nickname 'Wildcard", is the new Changeling Ambassador to Equestria, following the signing of a treaty of friendship.
Celestia has high hopes that the new friendship between Equestria and the Changeling Hive will usher in a new age of peace, but events elsewhere quickly put a damper on this hope. The Ambassador has his own problems as well, as he starts his mission with quite a few unhappy ponies harassing him. It's good that he has a nice desk- it's where he spends most of his time.
In his journey he meets several friends, makes a few enemies, and quickly falls for a pegasus with a mane to match his blue eyes. Discoveries are made, truths are unveiled, and decisions of vast importance are decided.
It is Wildcards mission to represent the Hive, and to convince the ponies the Hive means well. Time will tell if the resources he has will be enough.
Cover provided by Verandure
Guest Writing by Pseudonymous.
Additional support by: Zyrian, and SPark
Shame this has no comments on it, a rather interesting premise. I also like how you tie in real events from the show.
3720752 I felt it would make sense from the chronological setting, don't expect too much tie i: for example none of the characters will be involved directly in events, but they will happen in the background. For the most part anyway. Thanks for the interest.
I figured there won't be, considering the episodes so far in the fourth season, I don't think there'd be that much reason for wildcard to go to ponyville (though it would be amusing to see him get a welcome to ponyville party
)
3722620 I had the idea of her doing something along the lines of a "treaty party" but good god I simply cannot write Pinkie Pie.I avoided this by having his arrival closely tied with the season one premiere, so I can simply bypass this by saying she forgot about the whole thing.
Also he will, it is after all the home of one of the Princesses, and the best place in the country to get a dapper looking outfit.
I don't have any stories on here (work mostly on fanfiction.net and do no pony stories (yet)) but when I run into a character like that I try and watch episodes that show the character off in many lights/how they normally act. You may also get some milage by looking at similar charecters or charecters that share some of her charecteristics (for her oddly ominsincence Angela from inheritence can be a help, Deadpool breaking the forth wall may also help, as well as looking up the crazy things the marvel superhero Doreen Greene) gets into.
Also subtitled clips of the twins mas and menos (first episode they appear in) may give you an idea of how to write a random/funny character. <--Teen Titans
3722919 Thank ye kindly for the ideas, I may well use them.
In first chapter
It's Starswirl the bearded not Starsworl
I hope for some secret plot from doc about those changes. Its right now pretty obvious that Wildcard is transforming into pony
3728016 Thank ye kindly I shall fix that.
Now thats better, I'm not big fan of changeling being ponies but thats not matter if story is good
Oh... Celestia...
The only thing that seemed a bit odd was the Captain's disregard for an ambassador's safety. I suppose that could be explained by lingering animosity towards Wildcard's kind, but I would hate to see what would happen if Celestia catches wind that the Captain was willing to risk a potential international incident!
-and Doctor Flankenstein! Oi... I have no idea what to think about him, now! Could Wildcard's changes really be his fault? If so, is it intentional? -and if that's so, is he acting independently or... under orders? This could throw a whole new light on Celestia's choice to give Flankenstein his lab back after what he did!
heehee! Fictional conspiracy theories are fun.
Yay, Luna and Zeta to the rescue! Oh, Zeta is so lucky... Poor guy didn't get the message to withdraw. That could'a ended very differently for him!
Grr! That Doctor! I bet he knew exactly what to give himself so that he'd lose his memories if his life was saved! I don't think that his attempt was purely about Luna and his lab, either... Why was Wildcard's data the first thing he tried to save? Hmm...
3778319 I swear I'm posting these as much for my own enjoyment as it is to see your comments, I love them
I'm also finding you're interpreting things differently then I had planned, but we'll talk about that more when this has completed so as not to spoil anything.
wait are darn second, If changling were always mucking around other kingdoms, how have they not all got sick and died?
I demand Condom suits for them immediatelyEh, I'm sure you'll explain it.3784702 I attempted to explain this with the fact that they always kept their distance, spying on people instead of intermingling with them closely. They also never spent much time around, generally a few days to an assignment. Wildcard got drunk and spent a bunch of time in a dirty pub too.
I guess I didn't explain it well enough, I'll take a look at that when I edit this at the end, thanks for pointing it out.
This probably has to do with the "as I go" writing style I took for this, there's a few things that will need to be addressed before I stamp the "Complete" label on it.
well that answers my question. Good show!
3784976 I'm glad I could, but it's my fault it wasn't explained properly in the story itself. If you find anything else that isn't quite clear please feel absolutely free to bring it up, it helps me strengthen the story.
3784702 Maybe they adopt the immune systems of the being they're currently disguised as?
3795636 Smart, but for the purposes of this specific story not how it works. :
Hmm... not much to comment on this time around. More character development than plot development.
Only thing is... that emergency disguise dossier! Will Wildcard be forced to use it, or will somepony--perhaps First Class herself--come upon it somehow? Right now... I'm leaning towards the former. Can't say why beyond it being just a feeling...
3784765
they never walked into dirty pubs and try to pick up dirty
womenmares? They are truly missing out.thanks for the explanation, I'll keep a look out.
3795636
you are a genius, bro
"Repented"...? Not how I would put it...
Interesting, making Chrysalis's name a bastardization of her previous pony name!
As for the rest of the Changelings' "names", they're actually... name-ranks? If the second part of the hyphenated "name" is rank, what does the first refer to?
I don't like idea of changeling being ponies even with more neat as failed experiment, because stories about this go straight into one direction :/
I hope you will make this more about having this information and what to do with it than just some cliche plot like "oh wow they found cure lets make them alicorns", especially after that you showed us that Wildcard is not some one way direction character (like with cider contract) and he can spice up things
3796052 If you think this is all gonna end up happily with like, Chrysalis returning to 'good' and the changelings are dandily happy alicorns, hooooo boy you're going to be surprised. Time is the moving image of eternity.
Also yeah, I anticipated that not everyone would love all the ideas, that's perfectly reasonable.
3795996 I really need to explain this more, I'll probably add in an explanation in editing before I slap that 'complete' tag on. Kinda making this up as I go along.
My idea, which developed as I went, is that the first part of the 'name' refers to caste, Eta referring to the leaders (In most cases, Eta-Eta got a special promotion to 'Alpha' because Chrysalis has the hots for him.), Gamma to the warriors, and Zeta to the workers. Within the primary castes (Leaders and warriors) there is further segregation.
By the way Eta-Eta/Alpha/Medulla having different eyes may or may not be an important point I dunno, heh.
This means that there would actually be multiple Eta-Gamma's at one time, but that doesn't matter because the egalitarian nature of the Hive would make them all indistinguishable from each other anyway.
3795941 Yeah, I tried to have a fun little thing before the gigantic info dump that was the next chapter. I also just felt like having a little fun and expounding on the mountain idea, along with the bats. I love those guys and they'll come up a bit more now.
He still hasn't gotten a lock for that drawer, and he isn't the only changeling around now. There's also a few people that still don't like him, and a few others that would gain by accusing him of spying. Hmmmmm
After further analysis and reflection I exorcised a certain passage near the end of chapter 9- Paperwork. I sincerely apologize to anybody that has read it, and suggest you re-read the last bit from where they arrive at the inn if you read this before friday morning. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you're safe and needn't worry. To the rest, I'm sorry for that. The passage didn't work in the long term and doesn't make sense.
For those wondering, this is what happened in the removed passage
Wildcard was to be recognized by the inn keep, who lamented about her first love who looked similar, and 'they never did find that kid'. On further reflection this made zero sense and now it's gone. The inn keep recognizing an undisguised changeling, and the bizarre amount of happenstance that would lead to Wildcard finding her, as well as the way she mentions losing her child with no sign of being angry at him or anything, doesn't work at all. It was dumb to begin with.
Oh, so much happening!
So, he got that lock for the drawer! That would seem to cement my earlier assessment that he'll be forced to use that dossier instead of somepony finding it...
One thing that seemed odd was Rainbow Dash so easily retracting her classification of Wildcard as evil. Unless she's lying, I think a bit more about her thought processes could really clarify and even enhance that scene.
Pretense! Not really sure what's up with him, or even if anything is going to happen with him at all... Unless! I wonder if he could have some connection to the griffons...
That glow! Hmm... Is Wildcard supercharged with love? -or could it be something else? Could it perhaps have something to with when it happened--the kiss? -or even the show?
3803582
I agree with the RD points, I'll take another look at it sometime, not sure what to add at the moment. Perhaps I could switch the POV but that might get messy, needs thought. My core weakness as a writer is character development, and while I think I've improved I'm still weak. What I see is happening here is RD sees Wildcard 'stretch his wings' metaphorically, and literally. He's able to keep up, which makes him equal to the slowest pegasus. This also makes him the fastest changeling.
That's why I started this, it's got a lot of character development, which provides for a lot of practice.
With regards to the green glow, I'm gonna word of god this and explain it as yes, he is supercharged with love. Maybe that will become important again who knows. I'll see if I can clarify that when I'm looking at RD scenes later.
Pretense will return, oh yes indeed he will.
3803679
To be more exact, what I'm asking is how does RD make the connection between "flying well" to "not being evil"?... I do have my own idea on how RD could begin to trust Wildcard, and it doesn't even require much change of events... you know, if you want to hear it. It's your story.
3804396 Go for it, worst case scenario I decide I don't like it.
To be perfectly honest I've totally taken ideas from these comments and inserted them. Which ones will forever remain a mystery.
In my dumb mind the connection was "Acted unlike a changeling, changelings are evil; not acting like one proves that maybe you, specifically, aren't evil." It needs thought. There's also a certain amount of bilateral respect built.
3804636
Alrighty! I suppose I better spoiler this for potential... stuff.
It has to do, not with the flying, but just the two of them flying together. That Rainbow Dash makes no secret of thinking Wildcard evil, but Wildcard doesn't really argue about their flying alone, as opposed to insisting on traveling by train where Wildcard would be protected by anything RD might do by unavoidable witnesses (and Wildcard not doing anything to RD during their flight) is strong evidence of Wildcard's true nature as "not evil".
3804674 ooooh i like this.
I'm stealing it, and this post can serve as proof it was your idea. Thank ye kindly sir. I had some similar thoughts but was never able to really quantify them, you've done that quite nicely.
That'll probably add a few hundred words to what is already a giant chapter too, I've got no problem with that.
Ah-ha! I was so, so right!
Hmm! ... I think, over the last couple chapters, you've mixed up Applebuck and Buckapple a few times...
Finally, I think I may need to reread this, because I don't recall Wildcard doing anything that violates the treaty.
-and on that topic... who the heck does Spitfire think she's talking to!? Wildcard is an ambassador, with duties regarding international relations, not military deployment! Does Spitfire really think Celestia will let her get away with doing... something to the ambassador if the actual military commanders back home don't or can't meet Spitfire's demands? Either she's an idiot or just manipulated the ambassador using this toothless scare tactic.
3820689 You're quite possibly right, it's in the list of final things to check.
With regards to Spitfires orders: an elements of Wildcards character, which I may have missed developing, is a lifetime of being trained to take orders, and a fear of authority. So when faced with an even toothless threat kinda freaks him out.
He violated the treaty those few times he accidentally disguised himself. A very technical violation, but a violation in the end. I may end up reworking this entire part; I was feeling bogged down so I fudged most of this together to get us to the next day.
Right now I have to figure out how to fix this 'oops I referenced an event involving Luna while she was on the moon', problem.
3820801
Oh, right. Disguising, Guess that didn't register since, you know, it was accidental/reflexive, instinctual responses... Seems like something Changelings would know about themselves and want to make clear, but whatever. Maybe (if it's drawn attention to again) Wildcard will want to bring that up and have the treaty amended? After all, it sounds like something that could be easily exploited by somepony who doesn't like Changelings: Scare one into "disguising" and call attention to the violation of the treaty... Meh, then again, Celestia probably wouldn't let something so obvious pass and call to amend the treaty herself if such happens.
Y'know what? Unpublishing Dusk Falls until I can take another look at it tomorrow. Sorry folks. It got late and I rushed it, which was dumb it can just wait another day.
bet luna said
"oh its on"
just no
3821912 Something you think was written poorly?
fuck it, take it all.
allthingslearning.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/thumbs-up-3ps.png
3825657 Why thank you kindly, any reason why though?
I hope you meant treasury instead of GDP; a treasury of 50 million would be small, while a GDP of 50 million would be utter economic collapse.
If we assume that bar averages 20 patrons a day - which would be VERY low - and each patron drinks a single mug at 5 bits each, then it would earn 36,500 bits per year, or about 1/1000th of the entire economy.
3826341 I never expected anyone to math anything woah, maybe I'll take another look at it thanks.
I was shooting for a "small, but reasonable" economy for a population of what I see as between 500,000 and one million.
Got a suggestion there? Applebuck counting for a sizeable portion of the economy ~eventually~ is a minor plot point in the sequel work.
Years off the life of an immortal being? Sure, sounds like a fair trade for a nifty hairdo.
Also, he's a poor doctor if he didn't keep close patient records.
10 million bit equipment in a nation with a GDP of 50 million? How many foreign treasuries did he rob to pay for that?
3826526 Took ten odd years to build, guess I could have been more clear.
Anyway thanks for these comments, your insight is hecka valuable to me.
So...this doesn't make sense...The changelings have repeatedly infiltrated ponies and Canterlot and done so for very long stretches of time. I like the doctor character and the interaction is nice but it really doesn't make sense that somehow they wouldn't have similar immunities.
3828146 My explanation was that they had always stayed away from direct contact.
...which now that I think about it I directly contradict later, oops.
I'll put some more thought into it, it's too ingrained into the story to abandon entirely.
e: Ideaing
Workers have always lived in the hive, barely even ever seeing the sun. They would be highly susceptible to any contagions at all when they leave. This, and the fact that immunization for things is a routine service provided by the Equestrian Government, might be a better way to work this. Wildcard would be probably fine without them, but it's best he gets them to avoid getting horse measles or whatever. The workers, however, need to be immunized as an imperative due to how weak their immune systems would be.
I did a bit of writing based on this. It's crap, and it goes off the rails at the end, but enjoy:
3831219 I absolutely love this and would like your permission to add it as a chapter, a sort of 'bonus' chapter, with due credit of course.
You manage to do so many things here that I was going to do, except you manage to do them better then I could have. Your idea of what the dossiers are is absolutely spot on, and it's just so well written too.
basically i love you.