Text Tuesday

by Sausagefanclub

The author types another new story

The author sat down, pulled out his laptop and prepared to type a new story. “Hm… who should it be about this time?”

Bob poked him. “Can I be in the story again? The last one I got was really short.”

“No Bob, you already lived your life. Be glad you got what you got. Why are you even here? You’re already dead.”

“Albert Wesker turned me into a zombie.” Bob showed his decaying arm.

“Ah. Well you can help me with the story. What should it be about?”

Discord raised his hand.

“No Discord, I know what you’re thinking about and it’s not appropriate for the people reading this story.”

Discord lowered his hand, then raised it again.

“No. That’s even worse.”

Discord pouted and left.

“Maybe I should make it involve Rainbow Dash again.”

Suddenly Rainbow Dash crashed in through the window and crushed the laptop. “There! Now I won’t die again!”

“Rainbow Dash, my laptop is made from Time Lord technology.”

“So?”

“So, this.” The laptop glowed with regeneration energy, a stray beam blasting Rainbow Dash into the sky. Rainbow Dash was never seen again.

The author picked up the new laptop and got back to work. “I need an idea…”

Discord raised his hand, but he wasn’t in the room at the moment so the author didn’t know about it.

“What about me?” Derpy asked.

“Oh, Derpy. You know you’ll always be my favorite pony, but if I put you in too many stories it’ll be too heavily biased toward you.”

“It seems pretty heavily biased toward Discord and Albert Wesker at the moment…”

“Okay, fair point. If it’ll make you happy I’ll put you in this one, okay?”

Derpy beamed. “Thanks, mister author!”

“Alright, I think I know what to do now.” The author started typing the new story.

Once upon a time Derpy was frolicking in a flowery meadow. Suddenly, a wild communist attacked!!! “Go, Rainbow Dash!” Derpy threw a Poniball. Rainbow Dash popped out and charged up her power. “Hyaaaaaaaaaaah!!!” The power grew so intense that it engulfed Rainbow Dash. She was never seen again.

“Nooo! Rainbow Dash! Alright then… go, Discord!” She threw another Poniball. Instead of coming out of the Poniball, Discord crawled out of the communist’s mouth. He was covered in half-digested junk food. “This guy needs to eat a better diet. Fruit and dairy, let’s go try it!” Discord took the communist to McDonalds. He force-fed him several Big Macs, as well as a few Applejacks. The communist got too fat and exploded.

“Aw, I wanted to have more fun with him.” Discord whined.

“That can be arranged.” Derpy tossed out Albert Wesker, who infected the communist with a zombie virus. Discord, Derpy, Albert Wesker and the McDonalds employees then proceeded to punch the communist viciously.

Liberty Prime’s giant foot came down and crushed the building, destroying the communist entirely.

Rainbow Dash was never seen again.

The author stopped typing. “Alright, how’s this?”

“You said Rainbow Dash was never seen again twice…” Derpy said.

“You’re right, that probably wasn’t enough. I’ll do more next time.”

“Can I be in that story too?” Derpy asked with pleading eyes.

“Derpy, I… fine.” The author sighed.

“Thanks!” Derpy leaned forward and gave the author a warm hug.

Discord appeared. “Okay, enough with the wish-fulfillment. I’m typing the next one.” He took the laptop and prepared to type the most fantastic story ever devised.

Author's Note:

What will Discord's story be like? Find out next time, when he actually bothers to finish typing it instead of turning me into a cactus all the time!

Comments

[Blodhgarm]

Da fuck is this insanity???