• Member Since 14th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 22nd, 2023

Yosh-E-O


I am aspiring author who enjoys writing various works of fantasy in which have a cutesy touch

Sequels1

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Source

This story is a sequel to Spike's Shining Armor


After the events in "Celestia's Chosen", Spike has been through a lot. His biggest challenges being discovering why he feels as he does towards Rarity while trying to figure out how she really feels about him.

This story completes the story arc started in "Spike's Little Dragon". It puts all that has happened to this point together as Spike takes the plunge and dons the "Amulet of Love's True Form" so that he may finally be what he feels Rarity wants and needs him to be.

This spans six chapters, as there is much action, suspense, and drama as Spike and Rarity come to realize how much they truly mean to one another.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 22 )

"Would thou art please show us this amulet that thou has dreamt much about?"

That "art" shouldn't be there, and you might want "wouldst" at the beginning.

Luna's line about making a stand is repeated twice.

was what was aiding in their effots now.

"efforts"

This was a fun story; thanks for posting it.

A few notes on "Luna's" Early Middle English grammar:

"Thou art restless, little one," the moon princess stated as she flew up alongside the window. "Thy dreams have told us much and we have come to aid thee in thy quandary."

"We have seen thee dream," she said. "We have seen the torment in which thou dost suffer over the passion thou feelest towards the one known as Rarity."

"We mean to bring thee no shame," she said. "We merely wish to assist thee in attaining peace of mind."

"This is quite apparent," replied Luna. "Wouldst thou please show us this amulet that thou hast dreamt much about?"

"Ah!" stated Luna. "So it is this bauble in which has troubled thee so much as of late?"

"And why is it that thou hast not used its magic to attain thy deepest desires?" asked Luna.

"Afraid of what?" asked Luna. "Rejection? Twilight? No longer being that which is what you believe yourself to be?"

"It is thy destiny to use that amulet," she stated. "Only through it use willst thou art truly attain the peace of mind thou desirest."

Probably not complete, but the terrible grammar is way too noticeable as-is.

3633487

Thanks for your time in reading and commenting on the story. :duck:

3634854
Good point! I was having some troubles in getting the proper dialogue for Luna and kind of shot-from-the-hip.

I really need to get better at my old-school English. :twistnerd:

Thanks for your time in reading this story and for your comments. They will certainly work to make me a better writer. :duck:

3634860
Whoops! :facehoof: Sometimes I get so caught up in writing and then, when editing, get so into the story I miss such things.

Thanks for your time and for pointing out that flub. I'll be sure to be more cautious in my future works. :twistnerd:

3634864
Oh, golly! :facehoof::facehoof::facehoof: There were more flubs in this story than I had thought there might be. My bad. :scootangel:

I do hope, aside from the typos, you enjoyed the story. All the same, I appreciate your time and comment. Can't get better unless you are made aware of issues like this.

3634870
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on the story. It means a lot to be able to share an idea with others. Especially someone, such as yourself, who is a fellow fan of a most inspirational show.

Have a wonderful day! :duck:

3634882
This was actually my first attempt at writing Luna. And, well, the last exposure I really had to such a speaking style was back in the days of the very original "Dragon Warrior" games. :facehoof:

Luna is certainly not my strong point, so I will have to work harder next time if I do write a story with her in it.

Thanks for your time and for commenting.

Fun, but the technical flaws made this a bit hard to follow at times.

3638694
I understand where you are coming from. If anything written breaks the flow of mental concentration, it's over.

Can only improve with practice, though. Thanks for your time to comment and for having read the story. :scootangel:

A rumble came from the boutique and .green smoke puffed out the cracks in the windows and doors'
The towns folk could hear hisses & loud meows from Opal trying to excape through the walls as the names of the couple raised in strenght & pitch':rainbowlaugh::pinkiegasp::ajsmug::twilightblush::yay:

Luna smiled "Another dream come to life" :moustache:
Celestia giggled "More lives from his dream":trollestia:
Twilight "I'm going to be a Auntie & Change fire proofed diapers":facehoof:
Pinkie screams "BABY SHOWERS":pinkiehappy:
Shy wispers "Me too ,Big Mac?":yay:
"Eeup":eeyup:
Some boo boos in spellin, Nice DisSparity story:twilightblush:

4989853
It is truly delightful to read follow-up comments in which add content to that in which I have provided. This truly is what I aspire to receive as an author. :twistnerd:

Not that it's a great excuse but I often just write for the sake of writing. Especially when it is fan fiction type work. I really should check my spelling of even these works as much as I do my original material. :scootangel:

Much thanks for making this work more than what I ever thought it could be. :duck:

This story was well done, and with all the previous stories, makes for a wonderful combination of stories.

6378536
I felt particularly happy with this piece in the series. It was like everything was starting to finally make more sense instead of being a whole bunch of silliness.

Thanks so much for your time in reading this series through. I'm looking forward to when I get a good opportunity to start going through yours. :)

6379088 thank you, and be gentle when you do

6379572
Oh, I am quite friendly when it comes to doing reading reviews. I have helped proof many a work over the past seven years and, I feel, have a positive way of critiquing a piece. I focus more on the concept being presented and how, in my opinion, you may be able to improve upon it. I don't ever intentionally tear any works to pieces. Doing so is the fastest way to make someone lose their inspiration. We definitely don't want you, or anyone, losing the desire to write. :)

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