The House on the Water

by The Lunar Samurai

The Stalked

Rainbow Dash skimmed just above the treetops as she raced over the Everfree forest. She had always enjoyed testing fate, but dodging the trees at such a speed always gave her a special thrill. Every now and again she would duck into a clearing, to reemerge moments later, neatly avoiding hitting the large trees that would surely ground her if not worse. The thrill pushed her adrenaline to the max each time she would escape fate or dodge a grave injury. No pony knew where she was, she was alone to experience the thrill and all that came with it. It held a strange attraction for her, something that always called her back to the forest. It was something savagely beautiful. The woods themselves held a mysterious life force that seemed to make it come alive in an attempt to pull her into its deadly realm. One may begin to assume that these relatively common happenings would lose their thrill, but somehow, they never did.

“Not this time!” Rainbow shouted as she swerved around a protruding tree and beneath the canopy of another. Her victorious cries were as common as the trees themselves. She pulled herself high into the air, forming a wide arc to get her bearings. Just to her left, a cut in the trees signified one of the more daunting challenges the forest had to offer, a river. The sudden twists and turns that made up the rushing torrent were an exciting, unpredictable, adrenaline-filled maze, one that she had flown in many times, and nearly crashed on half of those attempts.

She banked toward the cut and braced herself before plunging into the gap in the trees. Everything was all but a blur beside her. Instinct guided her more than her eyes, yes she was seeing the terrain, but she was not consciously controlling her movements, conscious thought's slower reaction time would have surely ended in a painful collision and a difficult journey home. Rainbow was in her element, everything was completely natural, completely free, completely alive.

A small glint of light flashed from between the trees. Her concentration broken, Rainbow screeched to a halt, narrowly missing a painful collision with a tree. “Who's there?” she called out through the dense fog of froggy bottom bog. The air was laced with the thick stench of rotting wood and stagnant water. The glint had come from somewhere close, but Rainbow could only see trees, water, and the occasional splash made by a fish that would send ripples through the surface. The ominously pallid atmosphere sent a shiver down Rainbow's spine.

“This place gives me the creeps,” Rainbow muttered as she shook away the chill. “It was probably nothi-” As if on queue, the light blinked again. “Alright, that's it!” she yelled as she readied herself to fight or escape. Her curiosity piqued just enough to keep her floating just above the water. “Who are you?”

Only silence responded to her question. Slowly a voice emerged from the crickets, frogs, and buzzing insects. Eventually she could make out a stallion's voice. It was not threatening, but rather sounded threatened. “Stay back... Stay back...” He repeated his call over and over again.

“Who... are you?” she asked as she slowly flew to where the light had come from.

“St-stay right w-where you are!” he shouted. “I have a weapon a-and I will not hesitate t-to use it!”

“Easy now,” Rainbow said as she stopped in her tracks. “I'm not here to hurt you... Who are you anyway?” Slowly an object emerged from the fog. It was peculiar to say the least. It was a raft-like structure, yet it was interestingly large. As it faded into view, Rainbow realized it was a house that had been cobbled together. On the top, wielding a large bow, was a stallion.

“Who are you?” he asked as he lowered his weapon. “And why are you in my forest.” Immediately his demeanor switched from curious to incredibly afraid. “Come in. Come in now!”

“What?”

“He is here, I can feel him,” he said, his body beginning to tremble. “Get inside, it is safe inside.”

Rainbow, despite being typically wary of strange stallions, figured this was an appropriate time to listen. She rocketed to the door and stepped into the house.

“What is this place?” Rainbow whispered as she looked around the cozy floating house. The floor was damp, and small cold waves would ever so often graze her hooves. The log walls were filled with edible plants and hoof crafted weaponry.

“Th-This is my home. The stalker fears the water,” the stallion said as he continued to hold the weapon by his side.

“The stalker?”

“Yes, he has tried to kill me since I ever entered these woods. I had a journal, but lost it when I jumped into the gorge.”

“Wait, what journal?”

“I had a journal that I was using to keep my travel log, but I left it in a log near the gorge in case I died in my fall.”

“Why on earth would you jump into a gorge?” Rainbow shouted.

“The stalker would have killed me!” the stallion responded.

“Who is this stalker guy, I'll bet I could take him on,” Rainbow said confidently as she boxed the air.

“No!” the stallion shouted as he used himself to barricade the door. “Y-You can't kill it, you can only run from it!”

“What?”

“I- It isn't real.”

“Well if it isn't real then why are you so afraid of-”

“It's real but it isn't,” the stallion interrupted. “I- I mean it exists, b- but not physically.”

“Like a ghost?”

“Like an evil spirit that haunts your every move,” the stallion said somberly. “It has followed me for months, if not years. It has never killed me, but my mind is slowly fading away.” His body began to sway back and forth

“You need to get out of this forest,” Rainbow said as she helped the stallion steady himself.

“What do you mean?” he asked weakly. “There is an outside to the forest?”

“Let me take you back to ponyville. The Everfree is really getting to your head,” Rainbow said as she tapped his forehead.
The stallion broke into a weak smile. “I would like that. I would like that very much.”

Comments

[Soft Shell]

Ok shes comming..
*Is hiding in a bush waiting for Rainbow Dash to pass by*
Ok.... Now!
*Jumps out of the bush raving like a lunatic*
Blargle fible zibzap furikendoodle wizbolla!
*Hits Rainbow Dash with a muffin and runs away*

[Atropony]

3402951

What?

[Atropony]

This sounds like a rather nice story, I'll be sure to check out the next chapter to see if it turns out well.

[Soft Shell]

3403415
Tsk Tsk,
Someone didnt read the story description.

[The Lunar Samurai]

3403423
This story is completed.

[lmagine]

Turn heads around.

Phew, nothing... you gave me a little scare there.

[The Lunar Samurai]

3404492
You did read diary of the stalked didnt you?

[lmagine]

3404496

Yes... *shivers*

[Atropony]

3403789

Woops, didn't notice that, I apologise. It was a good story nonetheless.

[Atropony]

3403427

Gimme a break, it was like 2:00 am when I listed that

[Exodus45]

Man I haven't been back here in months, well ever since I got my book published. Isee this email that you had responded to something i had said so i deceided to check it out.

On my first read through i didn't put all the parts together. This story is a part of the other and from the sounds of it there will be a third part. I will be checking back for that.

I would have to say that you have done a good job here. The setting is vivid and clear. It is creapy to read. The conversations however were a little lack luster. You put the studdering in there but there is more to fear than that. It changes the way you speak. It is hard to describe but someone i know once said 'It is hard to write good fear diolouge with out experenceing if first hand. Not like a guy poping out of a dark cornor to startle you scared but more of a falling in a crashing airplain scared." I don't think it would be a good idea to go and crash an airplain just so you can improve your diolouge :p

I don't know the sevarity of danger this stalker imposes but i would immagine that if it was planning to kill you and you had no rational way of describing it or communicating with it then i would immagine that the pony is pretty scared. The studdering was a good touch. I saw that a lot with the troops that came off the battel field; i wouldn't say that they were scared but they had been pumping adrineline non stop for several hours. It causes your brain to think differently.

As far as the over all story goes i think it was pretty good. Like i stated above i am looking forward to the next part (assuming there is a next part). The only substantial gripe i have is with your use of "avoiding hitting". I think a better way of saying that would be something like "to avoid hitting".

Please pardon the spelling errors, i am typing this on my phone in a japanese airport after being delaid nearly 15 hours. I am eager to get home :P