You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on! If this message goes away after a few seconds, ignore it, javascript support sometimes takes a few seconds to detect.

Featured In19

More Stories3

  • T The Archer and the Smith

    A smith has her work cut out for her when a pony named Lyra shows up with a very special order. A Fallen World story.
    11,921 words · 7,602 views  ·  832  ·  9
  • T Lavender Unicorn Syndrome

    A lavender unicorn has a terrible day when every lavender unicorn starts turning into copies of her best friend, the lavender unicorn!
    27,339 words · 7,625 views  ·  947  ·  15
  • T The Heart Thief

    In the City of Gardens and Cages, a thief must brave the wrath of the Tyrant to win a chance at love. A Fallen World story.
    16,249 words · 2,388 views  ·  221  ·  3

Blog Posts30

  • 11w, 1d
    September 6th updates

    After a long summer absence, I have posted a new chapter of Harmony Theory. Once again, much thanks go to Pilate and Coandco for their pre-reading assistance. And a mighty thanks to everyone who reads my work for being patient.

    As always, I hope you enjoy what I've written!


    8 comments · 182 views
  • 14w, 1d
    Status update

    Hey, everyone. It's been a while since I've given any sort of update, so I thought I'd do that now.

    As you can see, there has been no new chapters or stories. I am writing them. I have not abandoned or forgotten any of my projects here but it's been very slow going. My apologies for that.

    Back in June I thought I'd be able to get more done, and that at the very least I'd have time to get things moving in July. As it turned out, however, things did not go the way I had predicted. Extended work contracts, depression, exhaustion and hunting for a new apartment all drained me pretty badly. Are still draining me.

    I can't predict what will happen next, but I'm hoping (fingers crossed and everything) that it will all sort itself out in the next few weeks and I can get back to doing what I enjoy somewhere in September.

    Thanks for being patient with me,


    10 comments · 200 views
  • 26w, 7h

    It's been a while since I've updated anything, and for that I apologize. To get the important stuff out of the way: Harmony Theory is not going to be updating this month. Earliest the next chapter can come out is mid-june. All other projects are... also delayed. I know I just released a chapter of LUS, but don't expect the next one until late june / mid-july. Other long-promised projects are, at earliest, late july or august.

    I'm not really big on explaining what's happening in my life online. I tend to want this space devoted strictly to things that pertain to the stories I am writing or have written. It's mostly because I just don't think I have much to say that people would care to hear. I spin a good yarn, but my analysis of life is anything but deep or insightful.

    However, sometimes things happen in my life that affect my writing, and I get the niggling feeling that you all deserve some kind of explanation. Short version: this last year has been really, really tough. I'm not going to go into detail because it involves others, suffice it to say that things will be getting better, but I can't say how quickly. As it is, I've been struggling with motivation and time issues. I just haven't been able to do as much writing as I want to, and when I do get the time, I'm too exhausted to work effectively.

    The result is the delays in publishing new material. Be assured that I haven't abandoned anything, but I'm working kind of slowly. It's quite frustrating.

    On to other things! I titled this post 'ruminations' so I'm gonna ruminate.

    I enjoyed Season 4. Not all of it, but most of it. I enjoyed the finale, despite the fact that I think the rainbow-power designs are dumb. I know that toys have to be sold to little girls, so I'm not really gonna care. Tirek as the bad guy made me grin, I had avoided spoilers pretty well, but I still somehow knew he was coming. He was a fairly decent bad guy, all things considered. I liked that the Princesses knew he was a threat, but they didn't give their power to Twilight because of him, they gave up their power because of Discord, who could take them all down and they knew it.

    Let's talk about Discord. He's my favourite villain of the series, and he's getting more Trickster as it goes on. His turn to the good side in KCAFO was abrupt and clearly insincere –"Most of the time"–, but it seems like he's sticking to the spirit of his 'reformation' if not the letter. In the season 4 opener he lets slip that he's not really friends with Fluttershy (getting her name wrong, for one) and claims the whole thing there is not his fault when we later learn that, well, yes it is. Then there's his trolling of Twilight and Cadance, ostensibly to see how 'genuine' her friendship is, but may really have been so that they come even closer together. Finally, there's the season finale, where he just flat-out manipulates everyone.

    Let's roll through it here: He shows up out of nowhere, makes it clear he's been spying on everyone, and has been messing with their collective journal. Messing how? By indexing all the information they would need to open the box of plot-device. He knew what they needed to do to get it open, and he knew that Twilight hadn't gotten her key yet. What does he do? He engineers a situation where she gets that key. Not just any situation, though, one where he ends the day more in our hero's good graces than ever, while still getting to cause as much havoc and chaos as possible.

    He's too smart a villain not to know Tirek was playing him. The whole "we can rule together! wait - I lied!" thing is old-hat to the spirit of Disharmony. He knew it would end with him getting magic-drained, but he went along with it because he needed something from Tirek, a symbol of friendship. One that Tirek would betray, but Discord could leverage. When he handed that necklace to Twilight he wasn't being genuine –he's never genuine– but it wasn't about him, it was about Twilight's revelation. About her seeing how she could extend the power of friendship to others in ways she hadn't thought possible. Discord wasn't learning anything new, he was trying to make her learn something new.

    Also, he was able to utterly wreck Equestria again, and got away with it scot-free. Textbook Karma-Houdini. That's Trickster stuff. That's mythological in nature. That's the MLP that I adore.

    Tangentially some people have asked about the canon of Harmony Theory. Harmony Theory started being written after the season 2 finale, and I built a backstory for it from that point in time that is pretty much set in stone. Alicorn Twilight was one of the things that I had planned on, as was Discord's release. Because of that, season 3 is mostly canon to Harmony Theory. There are differences in the background, such as Twilight's advanced studies instead being her early work at understanding the Elements. Season 4 started with our heroes giving up the Elements, which was not in the HT backstory, so it didn't happen in HT, or at least not as the show depicts it. Most of season 4 still happens as you see it, though. However, by the time of the Celestia Nova incident (approximately 16 years after season 5) Twilight has abdicated her throne and her big-tree-castle-thingy is gone. The Library was either never destroyed by Tirek or regrown sometime after.

    Incidentally, the Fallen World stories diverged from canon during Friendship is Magic part 2 (the pilot), going full-on AU from that point (though things didn't get really bad until the events around The Return of Harmony). Lavender Unicorn Syndrome is set in the nebulous time between Equestria Girls and the start of Season 4.

    I don't know what else to say. I was thinking on perhaps talking about other stories that I've read. Like a review, of sorts. I don't know. I'll consider it.

    For now, I hope you enjoy what I've written. I'll be working on more.


    8 comments · 335 views
  • 31w, 5d
    April 15th Update

    Well, the newest chapter of Harmony Theory is live. Much thanks to Pilate and Coandco.

    EqD has decided to actually feature Harmony Theory! which is, you know, something I've wanted to have happen since I first started writing this story. I'm super-happy about it, though a little sad that I won't be able to make jokes about how they'll feature anything BUT HT anymore. Thank you to everyone who said I should go for it and try to get it featured again. I'm glad I did.

    My other stories update: No change on Sword and Song. It's going to be a focus for a bit, but I'm having real trouble making it, you know, good. Lavender Unicorn Syndrome has similar problems with being not funny. Both of them should be receiving some love soon, which (fingers crossed) will help see them in a state fit to be read.

    Anyways, I hope you enjoy what I've written!


    6 comments · 264 views
  • 34w, 6d
    Supplementary materials: The Solar Kingdom

    So, Equestria Daily has changed their fanfiction submitting rules. What does everyone think? Should I try again to get Harmony Theory featured?

    Also, here are some rough notes on the Solar Kingdom. Not required reading, but if you're interested in this sort of thing, it might expand the world of Harmony Theory for you.

    A brief history of the Solar Kingdom:

    When Equestria was divided during the Schism, every civilization on the continent (and most of them around the world) fell into chaos. Ponies were left without the magic they had relied upon to sustain them, the weather became wild and uncontrollable and the very shape of the continent had been violently changed. Everything that had been built up was brought down.

    As ponies do in such circumstances, they gathered into herds for protection. These herds were quickly brought under the control of those ponies whose Talents allowed them to dominate the others, either physically or mentally. The herds then competed for resources, fighting bloody wars over sources of potable water or useable shelter. The warlords of the victorious herds then codified their rule and set about both securing their own slices of Equestria against their fellow dictators.

    Among these early warlords were the last remnants of the pre-Schism nobility. Specifically the descendents of the ruling family of the Crystal Empire. These winged unicorns were usually powerful enough to hold their own when their leadership was contested, and often claimed a special insight granted by their divine heritage. They were also able to gain the loyalty of the Griffin clans, as the magic of the winged unicorns was the only thing that could prevent the extinction of the warrior race. While they set up several fiefdoms, they remained tied closely to each other by their inability to have children with any but another winged unicorn, making alliances of marriage a necessity.

    About a hundred years after the Schism, when the new kingdoms were finally managing to recover from the cataclysm, a visionary leader arose among the winged unicorns. She had a plan to unite the continent once more under one banner, and her charisma and eloquence saw many of her fellow leaders join with her cause. She was crowned Queen Shining Beacon of the Solar Kingdom by the united herds of her followers, and led them in the first unification war.

    Shining Beacon was mostly interested in bringing all the separate herds into one, leaving most of the organization of the new kingdom to her advisors and trusted confidants. They created the system of governance still used today. They also made the decision to place a heavy emphasis on religion, a move that was not popular at the time as many ponies felt that they had been abandoned by the Alicorns.

    By the time the first unification war was played out, a full third of the sunlands was under the control of the Solar Kingdom. Many smaller fiefdoms, fearing the Kingdom’s reach, banded together into nations of their own, presenting a united front against the threat. The Kingdom did not continue its attack immediately, instead consolidating its gains and ironing out the wrinkles in its new government. Shining Beacon died without seeing her vision come true, but content in the knowledge that it would one day be realized by her descendants.

    Over the course of the next several hundred years the Solar Kingdom slowly absorbed more and more of the sunlands. There were some setbacks, including the disastrous reign of King Overspear, but for the most part things proceeded smoothly. It wasn’t until the third unification war that the major opposition to the Kingdom was subdued, but by that point its eventual victory was a foregone conclusion.

    Having secured the sunlands, the Kingdom looked outward to the rest of the world, only to find that the Republics were well ahead of them technologically, militarily and diplomatically. The Kingdom has managed to keep up by exploiting their vast crystal resources in the north, but the rivalry between the two nations is now a driving force in Kingdom politics.

    A few short notes on the Solar economy:

    Currency: The Kingdom uses a fiat currency called the Solar Bit. There are no major banks in the Solar Kingdom, and loans based on interest and repayment are seen as usurious and illegal. Instead a pony can apply for a grant from the Royal Treasury for a specific project. If the application is accepted the Treasury will mint and distribute the money as-needed. Applications are carefully considered for the feasibility of the project as well as the impact on the economy. Any free subject of the Crown can make such an application, but the business ventures of the nobility usually receive greater consideration. Currency is exchanged for goods and services as you’d expect, and prices do fluctuate, but all (non-counterfeit) bits in circulation start out from one of these project grants.

    Taxation: The Crown does not collect taxes in currency, but nobles have the right to tax the commoners living or working on their land.

    Crown Ownership: A central principle in the Kingdom economy is the concept of Crown Ownership. All land, currency and materials in the Solar Kingdom are technically the property of the Crown. All beings living within the Kingdom owe their ultimate fealty directly to the Crown. The nobles are stewards of the Crown land, and commoners do not even have that recognition. In practice this does not affect the workings of property and exchange, but it is often used as a point of anti-Kingdom propaganda in the nightlands. If the Crown declares a patch of land to be property of a certain pony, then there is no recourse for the previous owner, it is just so. This is often how the Crown raises a worthy unicorn to the nobility, granting them land and title at the same time.

    Agriculture: Most of the Kingdom’s food is grown by serfs working the land of their noble landlord. A portion of every harvest goes to the Crown and the military, and the rest is disposed as the landlord sees fit. Most nobles allow their serfs to sell their harvest themselves, and take a cut from the proceeds as taxes. Free farmers own their crops, though they still must pay rent to their landlord.

    Natural Resources: Like agriculture, most natural resource harvesting (mining, logging, drilling, etc) is done by indentured workers for the nobility. The nobles then sell the resources to the business sector. The Crown takes a certain percentage of all resources harvested, depending on their needs. There are no ‘free miners’ though some who work in this sector are free ponies working for a wage.

    Manufacturing and Business: Most of the industrial manufacturing capabilities of the Solar Kingdom are concentrated in its cities. Often businesses are owned and operated by free ponies, though almost always with the backing of one or more noble families. The introduction of a Republics-style free-market has been resisted by the Crown, who does not want their iron control of the economy challenged, so monopolies and low wages are common.

    Indenture: A significant portion of the Solar workforce comes in the form of indentured ponies. The Indenture system is similar to slavery, but not the same. For one, it is mostly voluntary. A pony essentially sells their labor for a period, and is treated as chattel from that point until their contract ends. They do not get paid, nor do they have a say in what work they do or where they must do it. Once their contract ends they are free to leave or sign another contract of service.

    Indenture contracts are sold in five-year lots, but there is no limit to how many of those lots a pony can sell. They can, essentially, sell their entire lives into servitude. Indenture is also a fairly cheap option for the buyers, as the price of a contract is always far, far lower than paying a wage for the same amount of time would be. Once sold, a contract cannot be ‘bought back’ by the indentured pony (who does not technically own any property during this time, including any money they may be given), but they can be released early, a process known as manumission.

    An owner has certain obligations to their indentured servants, including food, shelter and good health. For this reason it is often seen as a way to escape the ravages of poverty, the guarantee of two square meals a day and an actual bed to sleep in is extremely tempting during tough times. However, while a servant is protected by law from facing physical harm from their owners, they have no recourse if they are sent to work in an undesirable location or dangerous position. Runaway servants are treated harshly and can face any number of humiliating or painful punishments.

    The system is also quite often abused. Many have been forced to sell themselves due to nobles and businessponies cutting wages or jobs, something that occurred to the point where the Crown had to step in and put a stop to it. Indentured servants were also often forced to break up their families at a whim from their owner, which would also cause additional hardship for that family if they were living in servant’s quarters. This was stopped recently when the Crown declared that a marriage, consecrated before Celestia, was of higher priority than the wishes of the contract holders, and thus a servant that was married could not be forced to move away from their family. While this has stopped one form of abuse, it also created a new one where servants would marry simply to avoid having to move to work where their owner needed them.

    In what is possibly the worst abuse of the system, a quirk of the law allows parents to sell the contracts of their young children. While this is rightly seen as the worst sort of behaviour, it is also widely known as a good way to get one’s children out of impoverished situations. The Crown, by tradition, buys all contracts on those under the age of majority. It then educates the children and sets them to work either as domestic servants for the Royals and their closest advisors, or in the Kingdom Military.

    The abuses of the indenture system have long been a point of contention within the Kingdom, with supporters fighting political battles with abolitionists over its morality and usefulness. Recently the abolition movement has been gaining clout, led by the efforts of Queen Aqua Regia, though a feasible replacement has yet to be agreed upon.


    22 comments · 512 views
  • ...

After the Changeling invasion, Celestia and Luna make the decision to have Twilight investigate the Elements of Harmony and solve the mystery of their power.

A thousand years later, Rainbow Dash awakens in a world she does not recognize. She has no idea how or why she came to be there. She does not know the language, the geography or any of the rules of this new time. She soon finds allies in Star Fall, a scholarly pegasus whose Talent is Magic, and Astrid, Star Fall's Griffin guardian. Together they set out to discover why Dash has been sent to the future, and how she might return to when she belongs.

War threatens the nations, a Nightmare stalks the shadows, and Rainbow Dash's arrival has turned her into a wild card in a deadly game that pits the law on both sides of a broken Equestria against a mysterious criminal figure, Max Cash. Yet the stakes are higher than anyone knows, for in her research Twilight Sparkle discovered a dark secret about the Elements, something that will shake the foundations of the world.

Cover image by SierraEx

Has a TvTropes page

First Published
2nd Sep 2012
Last Modified
6th Sep 2014

I am intrigued and I implore you to continue.

This is awesome! Loving every second, keep it up!

It's very disturbing being teased for being a scholar in a language only the most serious of scholars would know.

Seriously, best line ever! I was dying of laughter

Honestly, this is a pretty friggen sweet story you've got going on here; I am hooked! You're characterization of Rainbow is excellent, enough bravado without being overly arrogant or annoying and retains all the logic and streets smarts required for someone who is an athlete and head/only weather pony. Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I see stories where Dash is an idiot or just an egomaniac. She's a responsible civic leader with a cloud mansion who over and over again is shown effectively, if not over enthusiastically, leading others! You can't have those things without being capable and showing a good temperament. Good show and great job not falling into that "oh noez future!" trope. I, as always, look forward to more and only hope you keep up the release pace; I'm dying to read more.


I second the best line ever. :moustache:

It was with a shock that he realized he was feeling friendship too. Somehow, in only a few hours, Blaze had become his friend, a friend he was willing to sacrifice himself to protect. It filled him with the strength to push away the pain and the weakness, to stand up and do something. It was like magic.

What you did there, I see it. :pinkiehappy:

Awesome chapter! Great world-building and now I demand you provide more as soon as possible. Please? :twilightblush:

As for a little analysis: I figure we're leading up to getting another 5 elements of harmony, perhaps, as a way to either fix the storm or send Dash home, I'm hoping she gets home, anyway. That, or Dash gets all the ponies to calm themselves and start with the friendship stuff again (and then she goes home... right?). Meantime, I am loving the journey.

Keep up the great work!!!   :rainbowdetermined2:

This is awesome, you are awesome. :moustache: There are SO many implications! Doubt! Intrigue! Is Dash, Dash!? Is it some genetic experiment gone wrong? Did James Bay accidentially bring Dash forward in time? If Dash was at the wedding does that mean she'll forget about future travels?

I can't wait another week for an update, I might die.

Amazing. How is this fic not more popular?

Interesting and extremely underrated story.

RD will have a lot to say when she meets either one of the princesses.


Unbelievably underrated! This story deserves so much feature box attention it's not even funny, especially considering what actually is in the feature box.


The excerpt this chapter is, as always, foreboding. However, I can't help but feel like they're all making the same point still, long-winded much, Twilight? :twilightoops:

I, too, am interested in these key fundamentals that Dash seems to have trouble with. I'm glad you mentioned things starting to pick up soon, I'm ready for a little exposition, there's so much promise in the concepts you've introduced!

I just marathoned this story, and so far? It's awesome. I'm hooked and I can't wait to see more!

This requires more views!

It's downright amazing!

Love it! :rainbowkiss:

This story is just great. I really need to catch up so I can favorite it.

I like how Rainbow is totally fine with the idea of killing animals.

It makes sense seeing as she was childhood friends with Gilda.

> Her mentor, Twinkle Shine, would say it stems from a lack of self-discipline. Her guard, Astrid, would say it's because she used too much space to pack other things.

You have some mismatched tense here -- it should read "would say it stemmed" and "would say it was because".

Other than that, I'm quite enjoying it so far and am looking forward to seeing where it goes :)

> "What's for lunch, mom?" He asked, sitting down at the table.

"He" shouldn't be capitalized here, unless we're talking royalty or a deity or something.

> "For Luna's sake, Strongheart, you're more than old enough to make your own sandwiches!" The rose-coloured Earth Pony mare declared, exasperated.

Same thing with the "the" right after the quote -- you're not starting a new sentence, you're continuing the one started with the dialogue.

> "Strongheart! Don't call them that!" She admonished, even as she returned his embrace.

Once again, with "She".

> "But he said it had so many features!" She protested, picking up the used plate and taking it over to the sink.

And again.

> "And yet," Astrid said again, snickering. "You just said her learning Solar this quick is impossible. Maybe you're using that word wrong, huh?"

Two things:

1) Since the first bit is effectively one large sentence, it would probably read better as: "And yet," Astrid said again, snickering, "you just said her learning...

2) Nice Princess Bride reference.  "Inconceivable!"  "You keep on using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means."

> "I... don't know that either. But it totally does, somehow. And when you use them together it makes a big rainbow, and fixes everything. And I bet that's what Nightmare Umbra sent me here to stop!"

...wait, what?  Dash thinks that Nightmare Umbra sent her?  Where did that come from?  It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, and I don't see anything leading to that conclusion.


...wait, what?  Dash thinks that Nightmare Umbra sent her?  Where did that come from?  It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, and I don't see anything leading to that conclusion.

Dash is grasping at straws here. She's making an assumption based on the literary tropes she's been exposed to, specifically that the bad guy shot her into the future to get her out of the way in order to complete the evil plan (mouhahaha).

To your continued finding of my grammatical errors: Thank you, it's good to know. The ?"-then capital thing I do a lot (I was unaware that it was wrong until recently), and I'll get around to fixing it eventually. The "And yet," is actually a sentence on its own, independent of the one following. It would be a shortened, conversational version of "And yet here it is".

Thanks for reading, I hope you're enjoying it!

> Blaze shrugged. "Didn't. But when you've got a rampaging magic-fuelled undead Ursa on one side and the opportunity to imitate a lawn dart on the other, well, I'd go for lawn darts every time."

Love the phrasing here.

> Calumn considered his options. He could try to infiltrate this group, to go with them, but his orders were for Dash specifically.

Hmm.  Given that this is the first time Calumn has had a name to put to the description of his quarry, shouldn't he be a bit less comfortable referring to her as such?  Maybe something like: 'but his orders were for this "Dash" specifically.'

> Blaze set down the rope. "Well, look whose back among us!"

"Whose" should be "who's", since expanded the sentence would read "Well, look who is back among us!"

> "Holly," he said, and love flowed into Calumn, making him gasp. it just me, or does this sound vaguely dirty?  I suppose I should get my mind out of the gutter.

> "Not really," Astrid said. "We'll be using a cover name. Until we get the okay, you're now Firefly."

> And to that I'm all like, 'well, do you taste this stuff?

You should probably capitalize the "well" there, since most of the rest of your sentence-starts in that paragraph are capitalized.  I realize it's a stream-of-consciousness sort of thing, but it'd look better if it was consistent.

And now, right on the heels of your most recent fic, I come across another epic adventure that seems to bode just as well as the quality of your other work would have me imagine.  Oh, to have the time to both do my own writing and read this right now...

I'll probably break and come back to this later.  In the meantime, I'll be watching you.

Not like...I mean, it's just what they call the button get it.


To your continued finding of my grammatical errors: Thank you, it's good to know.

Sorry if I'm getting annoying -- I'm a bit anal-retentive about grammar.  For what it's worth, I'm absolutely loving the worldbuilding and tone you've got going on here.  I found the story via EqD's featuring of The Archer and The Smith, which I though was amazing enough to look up other stories (well, story) by the same author.  Keep up the good work!

> The sun had fallen below the horizon, stars spreading through the sky as the last fingers of twilight receded into the west.

Traditionally, isn't it frowned on to use the word "fingers" as a description in set-in-Equestria stories?

> "That eugenics projects aren't just for Griffins anymore?" She asked, unsure.

Another instance of capitalization after a quote.

>***     "I'm betraying you"  ***

...well, that was odd.  There doesn't appear to be any context for how that's supposed to be interpreted.  Is it a chapter heading? Someone sending a psychic message?

Favorited!  I usually don't like Dark stories, but the first chapter poses some questions I've been wondering about since I first found this site...

I'm hoping this one turns out to be as good as CyborgSamurai's The Powers of Harmony.  :pinkiehappy:

Apparently detectives are similar no matter which kind of body they wear... :rainbowwild:  Do they get paid to be suspicious all the time or something?! :facehoof:

A thousand years after the Mane 6?!  And Luna reimprisoned??  The animal hair is approaching the rotary cooling device now...!! :rainbowderp::twilightoops::pinkiegasp::applejackconfused::raritycry::fluttershbad:

>>1425587 It doesn't make sense to me either; she sounds like the villain of this whole piece, honestly.  :applejackconfused::rainbowhuh:


It doesn't make sense to me either; she sounds like the villain of this whole piece, honestly.

What really threw me off about it was that there isn't any warning of it -- just an assertion made out of the blue.  No insight into Dash's thought processes -- it seems like "Maybe Nightmare Umbra sent me here" should be a prerequisite concept to "This is why she sent me here".  Instead, that's skipped and we go directly to the second thing.  It might be better if a lantern was hung on it, such as by having one of the other characters noticeably react to the jump in logic, but they just accept it and move on.

A stroke of genius, there... Make the guy who eats love like we eat food look like someone you love, then...!!  :twilightsmile: :twilightsheepish:

Trail Blazer's related to Pinkie Pie somehow, isn't he?! :rainbowlaugh:  Even talks like her...!  This is great stuff.  

i just wanted to say that waaay back when they used to speak like luna, thy/thee/thou/thine was used by the nobility to speak DOWN to people below their station. therefore, luna would NEVER talk like that to celestia. she would be more informal and use you/your/you're. like, if she was in the olden days, trixie would use thy/thee/etc because she thought she was better than everyone else.

it's a really common mistake, though. nearly everyone gets it wrong.

i just loooooooooove this story. can't wait for chapter 9!!!!

Congratulations Blaze, your the new Pinkie Pie! :twilightsmile:

For some reason I read Blaze with a slight southern accent.

I have no idea why...

"Future shock was hitting her hard."

Immediately brought this to mind:

I can't wait for Dash to see a car! :pinkiehappy:

Yay! More! Do please continue.

I understand that the Everstorm was the height of action, but the story does seem a bit slow now, maybe by contrast?

Can we have more Dash fight scenes soon please? That was really good.

This story is amazing. I marathoned the entire thing today, and loved every bit of it. Well, maybe not every bit. The prologue was a little slow in the beginning until Luna actually got to her point, but each and every subsequent bit was loved to the maximum levels of Changeling exploding enjoyment.

Basically, I read The Archer and The Smith, was completely blown away by how good it was, and went looking for more. Well this moar and I couldn't be more satisfied with it. You've done an excellent job.

Liked, Favorited, followed, all the things.

Star Fall examined Dash in silence for a long moment. "That's the second," she said.

"The second what?" Dash asked, looking back at Star Fall.

"The second time you've run into translation problems," Star Fall explained. "Every other word, phrase, idea and object you've been able to translate perfectly. Your speech patterns, your little personal turns of phrase, all of that comes through. Except for some reason you can't translate cutie mark as Talent Glyph."

"I can do it, I just don't think it's right," Dash protested.

Star Fall shook her head. "I'm not saying it's impossible for you, I'm just saying that unlike how easily you've taken to every other aspect of Solar, there's these two concepts which you still automatically convey in Old Equestrian. It's interesting, and it makes me wonder why those two are the ones that aren't translating properly for you."

"I don't think I follow you," Dash said. "And you said this is the second. What was the first?"

"Dash, what's Discord?"

:twilightoops::rainbowderp::applejackconfused::fluttershbad::pinkiegasp: Holy cow... they don't remember Discord?!  Makes me wonder who was really behind this whole mess to start with, hmmm? :trixieshiftright:

...If I'm right, it would make sense; creating strife between ponies who are loyal to each other as can be was (is?) definitely his favorite M. O. (method of operation, that is)...  :ajbemused::flutterrage: can you say underrated? Every now and then I will come across a wonderful story that doesn't get NEARLY enough attention... a story with great descriptions, good pacing, good characters, and interesting plot, and just all round a well written story... and then other stories that aren't nearly as well crafted receive so much more attention. Not that the other stories are bad mind you, just not on the same level of writing. Ah well... I guess that's just part of life isn't it?

But hey! 181 views isn't bad! :twilightsmile::twilightsmile: And 32 green to 1 red is also really good so it's not like you're getting NO attention... just I think you should get more. :twilightsmile: ...then again I ALWAYS want the authors I like to get lots of attention! :twilightsmile:

Anyways, I'm really looking forward to seeing how this story develops!

Very much looking forward to future chapters. This is great so far.

You're back with an update! Today is best day!

What a fantastic update! Loving Gamma, and seriously loving how this is all coalescing with the conspiracy, Dash and pos-schism Equestria. So when do we meet Spike?

Woo, been waiting on this so badly!


(I blame Pilate.)

Edit: Okay, I just finished reading that chapter and I have to say, it was AMAZING.

Subject: Rainbow Dash

Prefix Title Obtained: The One and Only

(Totally starting titles on this story.)

Okay... seems this "Agent Gamma" is a duty-obsessed jerk, among other things.  No doubt he (she?) is very devoted to his country's security, but the fact remains it seems to me like "his country" shouldn't even exist in its present form... :flutterrage:  And what does this have to do with sibling rivalry between Celestia and Luna, the fact that "Solar" doesn't even recognize Discord as a concept, much less an entity, and Twilight's research into the Elements of Harmony (which it seems took a very dark turn somewhere in the millennium-thick fog between classic Equestria and the Solar Kingdom/Lunar Republic setup where Dash has found herself stranded)?? other words, the same set of questions I found myself asking a month week or two ago. :twilightblush:  Keep writing and hopefully we'll all get to some answers... :rainbowwild:

Gamma was a little close to getting a knock to the muzzle.

Dash is freaken unstoppable.

>>1548141 I don't know whether that would have been a good idea... not that I disagree with you about whether Gamma deserves it. :twilightangry2:


I don't know, I'm rather fond of Gamma. A typical personality for a pony used to being smarter than others. The fact that with the limited information she had Gamma was able to piece together a very large portion of the previous events of the story means that she is a rather powerful pony with a lot of resources at her disposal. A very well done character in my opinion, a solid 9/10.


Very apt description of her. She didn't get to her position by not being smart.

i love this story

i really do

Yay! Awesome chapter.

Predictions for gamma 70% chance of becoming a major antagonist. 30% chance of being awesome and helpful.

Thank you thank you for the action :yay:

Login or register to comment