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Rarity fianlly sums up the courage to tell Spike that she is too old for him. Spike, depressed by this, takes up her words and then searches for a new love interest out there, but to his surprise it is with somepony that nopony would ever suspect.
((Art by Swift Melody ))
((Inspired by Mallajong's Spike's series, who was too busy to make this one "And probably due to his account getting banned yet again..." so I took it up and decided to make it. ))
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((I should mention this is my first attempt at writing a romance story and using AppleBloom and Bab's as two main characters....So if I fucked up with their speech, let me know and I will do their speech correctly in the next chapter and try to replace some words in this one.
))
SpikeSeed?! You have my attention.
3542059
I assume that's more than one scale and more than one seed (plural), not something belonging to a scale and something belonging to a seed (possessive)? If so, you really need to get rid of those apostrophes. Also, Babs doesn't have an apostrophe in her name. This will help.
You don't see the pairing to often and at least the pacing is okay. Lets see where this rabbit hole goes.
((And what a way to go...This might be the last story I will ever publish,...))3542245
New love for Spike.
Well ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ ........................................................................................................ this is new
normally I wait like 2-3 chapters before I Fave a story but something about this I really liked
I *want* to like this, because this pairing rarely has been done before—with the exception of a two-chapter abandoned Mature story, a one-shot rapey Mature story, and another "Spike harem" story that ends with SpikeSeed for convoluted reasons—but the amount of grammar mistakes in the title and description alone are preventing me from doing that.
It's "Babs Seed," not "Bab's Seed." There is no seed belonging to Bab. "Babs" is colloquial for "Barbara".
*lets Spike down
The way you have it worded right now, it sounds like she put him down physically, rather than metaphorically. "Rarity let down her hair," etc. "You let me down," "Rarity let Spike down," etc. See how the pronoun/noun is in the middle of the phrase?
*takes
*there
*to his
*nopony would ever suspect
This should also be two sentences, ending the first one after "there". Then you would have commas after "But" and "to".
*supposed to be
The double parentheses are unnecessary. You are not roleplaying.
He is not "busy". He's never coming back.
Also, this should be at least two sentences, and the ellipse is unnecessary.
Please get an editor.
If there's any chance that this story will be complete by November 30th, you are welcome to submit it to the Random Romance Group's November Contest featuring Babs Seed and Spike. Unfortunately, it does have to be complete to qualify.
3544833 Mallajong before he was banned said he liked the idea of it but he was busy with his other fanfics to make it, and then BAM he got hit with the ban hammer right when I finished the rough draft of the chapter (Took a while for my editors and proof reader's to finish doing the edits. ))
3545936
Mallajong liked anything with Spike and a mare or filly, LOL. Um, apparently your editors missed the stuff in the description alone, which still isn't fixed.
If you need better editors, I can point you to some groups. 
3546091 I could use some more editors that could help.
3546232
Search for groups in the Groups section of FimFic called, "Looking For Editors, " "Authors Helping Authors, " and "Overly Extensive Editors." You can also try putting up a blogpost and see if any of your followers want to help.
If I may make a suggestion, I would suggest describing her mane and coat colors differently. While I can appreciate an attempt at using overly complex words, it just does not work all the time.
Not gonna lie. The only thing I could think about when I read that scene at the end was:
3627191 Did I really make Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon like that? I mean, I was trying to make Silver Spoon a kissass, and Diamond Tiara the controlling pony that has to deal with her idiot friend........I see you're point why their similar.
Hi there
Saw your story on 'Authors Helping Authors' and thought I'd offer my two bits on your story.
Want to start off with, I liked your story. If I didn't I would probably have not given my feedback. So if you think I am being harsh i'm sorry, but it is all for the greater good as it were.
Anyway hope you find my points helpful.
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Scales and Seeds
Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): 6
Pros (list three pros)
• Love the premise, and the fact that you introduce everything quickly (e.g Rarity breaking Spike’s sweet little heart and the new crush Spike and Babs have).
• Touching moments and character interactions.
• Have some really funny lines.(e.g Rarity freaking out)
Cons (list three cons)
• Over use of ellipse
• Some characters seem out of character (e.g Apple Bloom for not offering Spike to come to station as he needs company and Twilight seems a little too protective of Spike).
• Could use with more description, as sometimes there is little to go on as too where the characters are/what they are feeling.
Notes Section (how you can improve your fic, at the very least an elaboration of Pros and Cons section)
Have Apple Bloom offer Spike to come to the station. Then have her, Spike and Babs do something, so Spike and Babs can interact more (maybe go to the park). Don’t use so much ellipse. Describe what the characters are feeling, e.g in the bath tub describe Rarity’s emotions and her environment so we (the reader) get more invested in the scene. Your grammar could use with a touch up too, but I am hardly the person to help you in that department (I suck at spelling!). One last point is your writing style seems to keep changing, doesn’t impact story too much but can be hard to read. Overall though I enjoyed the story and look forward to your next chapter (p.s make the sex quick and not a big part of the story please, as I personally don’t like the idea of them having sex that young :P)
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story/ this story: The Purest Amethyst
3658154 Eh, the sex scene isn't going to be the big part of the story. It is mostly centered around Spike, Bab's, and Rarity and it will be soon followed by a love triangle which will make up for a very funny scene in the later chapters. Not giving away spoilers but it will happen possibly soon. I tried to keep it slow paced as possible probably for another three chapters so it will be properly paced. The grammar was an issue, the guy who does all my proofreading and editing is a good friend who isn't the best, but he does very well and tries his best with it. I love your response, and I hope to fix most of the issues in the next chapter once it is done.
the spacing towards the end seems off and the pacing was a little fast but overall pretty entertaining chapter.
3820439
3820382 Didn't think I get positive feedback so quickly, thanks you two.
3820618 actually for some reason the newest chapter is always showing up as unread in my favorites list and it won't go away.
3820625 Really?...Huh that is strange, Fimfiction has been acting strange to me as well. I look at my meta notifications and when I get off them they still show them as unread...I probably have to talk to a site admin on that one.
I like the idea of this story, but considering the title of chapter 2 is spelled wrong, my inner spelling nazi is begging me not to.
3820674 I wish I can fix it now that I seen it, but Fimfiction is not playing fair tonight....
Cool
Why did our friend jong get banned? I liked his stories.
Keep up the good work. You nailed Sweetie's obliviousness. And Scootaloo's... More mature side of knowledge as well as the whole DASH IS BEST PONY thing.
Regardless that still counts as a first kiss.
Leave? Did you mean Lift?
3825050 fixed
AND Iiiiiiii~
WILL ALWAYS LOOOVE YOOOOOU!!~
So, Spike got his heart broken, he thought Babs Seed was cute, and she's going to stay in Ponyville permanently? Convenient. Aside from that and a few grammar errors, i'd give this an 8/10
Oh Silver Spoon!~ I think irony wants to speak to you!~
*looks at this story*
*looks at my story*
We have the same cover art.
Seriously! It's been two years now!!!
7702627
He's dead, Jim.