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Fluttershy tends to a bonsai tree. It's a nice, quiet distraction.

First Published
7th Oct 2013
Last Modified
7th Oct 2013
#1 · 62w, 6d ago · 3 · ·

You're really churning these out, aren't you?

And to think I'm only just finishing my second.

#2 · 62w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

This was quite nice.

Nice job, mate.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#3 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

Dang.

#5 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

How did it have 6 likes before it had any views?

#6 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

Great story! Just ONE teensy little thing...

It's a nice, quite distraction.

Quiet*

#7 · 62w, 6d ago · 6 · ·

>>3311460 One day, I'm going to see that you forgot your signature, and I'm going to freak out.

#8 · 62w, 6d ago · 7 · ·

>>3311518

Hah.  Never going to happen.

~Skeeter The Lurker

BR
#9 · 62w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

you regidid a good job

#10 · 62w, 6d ago · 8 · ·

>>3311623 dat pun

>>3311494 I'm the god damn batman

#11 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

Wow! Great story! I really can't find anything wrong with it except a few minor grammar mistakes.:twilightblush: Sorry, kind of a habit of mine to spot mistakes.

the warm breeze wrapping al around me, rustling my branches, small animals and insects keeping me company...”

"all"

a fat brown cockroach crawled past fluttershy meandering its way towards the tree.

"Fluttershy"

#12 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

>>3311919 aight, fixed

#13 · 62w, 6d ago · 7 · ·

Regibest

Bestdar

Regultimate

Ultimatedar

#14 · 62w, 6d ago · 3 · ·

who the hell nuked ponyville:twilightangry2:

#16 · 62w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Well done, man.

Well done.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#17 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

Cool.

#18 · 62w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

GET THAT SHIT FEATURED, MAN! GET THAT SHIT FEATURED!

#19 · 62w, 6d ago · 8 · ·

I was wondering why it was labelled "sad". I like how you kept the focus in the small ecosystem (or smecosystem, as I got from my dream [long story]), for the final reveal of everything else being burnt to cinders. Sort of like focusing on a small, vibrant square of a painting, then zooming out to see the entirety of the gray wasteland that surrounds it. Shows how perspective changes a lot.

#20 · 62w, 6d ago · 4 · ·

>>3313178 That's what I was going for, glad to see I succeeded! Thanks for the feedback.

#21 · 62w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Excellent writing and descriptions of the animals. Emphasis on the word "small" sticks out in mind.

I also like that you don't really explain the world around her, but just suggest it. It lets your own interpretation do all the work.

#22 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

Caught off guard by the ending, but still pretty nice.

#23 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

I was a bit disappointed that the initial "watering" wasn't tears. :duck:

#24 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

Well.... didn't see that ending coming. Was still a nice-ish story though.. kudos.

:rainbowderp::trollestia:

#25 · 62w, 6d ago · 4 · ·

WAT.

I saw "Sad" in the tags and was like "oh, someone dies?" and then it's like "EVERYONE ALREADY DIED."

Well ok then.

#26 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

>>3313182

You got featured again, you sexy bastard.

#27 · 62w, 6d ago · 7 · ·

*reads the last paragraphs*

Wha... Buh.. Huh?

This...

Why...

They're all dead... :fluttercry:

#28 · 62w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Don't do this to me, Regi. It's too feelsy for me to take.

#30 · 62w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

WHY CAN'T I CONTAIN ALL THESE TEARS? This is a deserved feature, my friend.

#31 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

Hmm... I (think I) get what you were going for, and the execution is indeed superb. The ending, however, kind of falls short... :unsuresweetie:

It's not that we don't need the contrast, but it could have been more subtle. Perhaps it could have been present the whole time, in the background, as opposed to just putting a big "DUN DUN DUN"-moment at the end...

Otherwise, good work! :twilightsmile:

#32 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

I can't say that I really got any feels off of the story, but it was still quite beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.

#33 · 62w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Once in a while, I like to look for these simpler stories. Usually they are a treat to read, and this one fit that description perfectly. The way you described the ecosystem as a whole was well done.

I sensed the ending, as there was nothing notably sad until the last couple paragraphs. To echo what another person commented, the ending could of been more subtle. Although I did understand what you wanted to get across at the end, it felt over dramatic for a story which wasn't so until that very point.

Other than this, very well done. :twilightsmile:

DJRD

#34 · 62w, 5d ago · 3 · ·

...Now I know why this isn't a Slice of Life.

#35 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

The bonsai tree lived for 300 years. Oh wait, that's botanically impossible. :pinkiehappy::derpytongue2:

#36 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

...There is a large red print in the shape of a feel beginning to take form on my face.

Also,

a small pink butterfly that lay just abover her chest.

'abover', eh?

#37 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

Only one problem:

The tree sat their, unmoving, untalking, for it was a tree.

I guess you actually meant "The tree sat there".

Aside from that this is the best story of yours I've read so far, kinda saw the ending coming but it still worked and it made me feel sorry for Fluttershy and all Equestria. It also reminded me of this:

#38 · 62w, 5d ago · 5 · ·

Great story. I loved that, despite all of the pleasant imagery for Fluttershy's ecosystem, there was always this lingering sense that something was wrong. The tiny hints thrown in, such as Fluttershy's comment about the sugar being "especially hard to find" really gave it that mood.  

I especially liked the part where you described the cockroach. It was really subtle, but it set up the "big reveal" perfectly. I was like, "Survived? Survived what?" and then when you showed us the ruins of Ponyville and Everfree, I was like, "Ohhh. That." It was a very nice touch.

The only thing I'd say in terms of criticism is what a few others have already said about the ending being a little heavy-handed. However, I do think the contrast between the in-your-faceness of the ending and the subtlety of the rest of the story works well, and I think you had the right idea.

Pretty damn good.      

#39 · 62w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Motherfucker, I'm depressed now.

#41 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

Here come the feels... :fluttershyouch:

#42 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

:fluttershyouch: (kind of interesting how everyone writes about twilight ultimately outliving everypony else because of her immortality, and yet here, Fluttershy is the only element (and apart from my knowlege, the only pony perhaps) that remains.)

Its so sad :fluttershbad:

I loved it :fluttercry:

#43 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

Beautifully excellent little story :pinkiesmile: Definitely deserved the featured spot

#44 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

All linked together after finishing the final part. Just a few almost dead leaves, sugar were so hard to find ? Even apple O.O? Things got burned, her cottage got burned, the bird almost died from burning, ruined Ponyvile. :rainbowderp:

Fluttershy must work dam hard to feed those animals, and herself :fluttercry:

Why :raritydespair: Why :raritycry:

#45 · 62w, 5d ago · 3 · 2 ·

Hmm. Very nice. Could've existed entirely independently of the ending, and wouldn't really have lost any of it's power.

That said, I kind of revel in the idea of a sugarbowl apocalypse, so that obvious attempt at a kick in the feels at the end was somewhat misplaced amongst thoughts of unstoppable monsters, glorious last stands and maybe a smidgeon of maniacal laughter.

Mayhaps you were aiming at a less jaded reader?

#46 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

What? My favorite pony and my favorite hobby together in the feature box? Hooray!

#47 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

Oh. There's that empty spot in my insides again. :fluttershyouch:

#48 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

I got the sense that something bad had happened quickly but that got sooo sad sooo fast:fluttercry:

#49 · 62w, 5d ago · 5 · ·

>>3314622 I was basically trying to be as melodramatic as fuck, but I hear your criticisms. I shall implement them for future use. :twilightsmile:

>>3315090 Whoops, I shall fix that.

>>3315211 That too. Also, my favorite Sigur Rós song and one of my all-time favorite music videos. :rainbowkiss: I can't believe that I wrote this story WITHOUT that reference intentionally in mind.

>>3315236 Thank you very much! As stated in previous comment, I was trying to be melodramatic as fuck, as I am someone who enjoys sharp contrasts and sucker-punch moments in fanfiction.

>>3315676 Thank you!

>>3315944 We may never know.

>>3316051 >Sugarbowl apocalypse

explain yourself.

That aside, the only reason this was "sad" was because of the sharp contrast at the end, whereas I may one day expand this fic into a bigger story. I coulda gone with "dark", but that wouldn't have left people with the right feeling, and sad fits just as well.

#50 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

>>3317948

Oh, sorry, I forgot to put this link in.

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