Good stuff!! Can't wait for more!!
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A little too much filler for me, but I love the introduction. Very solid and quite appetizing. I look forward to more chapters.

More plz

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Yeah I agree. As with most stories I read, I'm usually eager to be finished with the prologue.

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I'm slow but I wish I were fast.

wow, this is great! please continue soon!

3294447 you don't have to be too fast just practise and you will get faster

3299181 Yeah. I think practice is key. Thanks

I agree there is too much filler in here, to much telling and not enough showing, and certainly not enough actions happening between the characters (and I don't mean just sex). Stories in general often don't need a prologue, least not in my humble opinion. A lot of information that gets brought up here can be brought up through actions and dialogue through chapters.

It will be interesting to see what content the actual chapters will have.

3300006 any time now.if only I would.follow my own advice

I like this its a good read an I like the depth of detail you went into very good. Mix that with interactions with other ponys but I shall favriote an wait for more keep going.

I like the story, but one thing eludes me is every pony aware of this relationship or is it secret and ponies wll dis cover it later?

Hmmm
It hits the reader with 5/5 hook
Let's me see.

by Sweetie Belle’s innocently trusting nature, and by Fluttershy's immense kindness

Well, Fluttershy is also innocent

Fluttershy's weakness as a flier was an insult to her breeding among those proud pegasi who saw their superiority in their ability to literally be above others.

*Rainbow Factory Sound*

Rarity and Pinkie Pie may or may not ever have understood Fluttershy, but there were few ponies so magnanimous and kindhearted as they were. Fluttershy's friendship with them formed more easily than a summer breeze.

THEN WHY ARE YOU MAKING OUT WITH RARITY'S SISTER?!

This, Fluttershy thought, was probably because, despite their intrinsically social nature and talents, and despite inviting her to various social gatherings, the yellow pegasus had always felt comfortable in crowds since they usually allowed her to blend in and go unnoticed.

No, actually she's scared of crowds. Most time when she's on the front of the crowd, but scared nonetheless

Fluttershy nearly laughed out loud thinking about how she and Pinkie had become friends, but the thought of her own situation cut her mirth short. The short version of the story, Fluttershy thought to herself, was that the quintessentially pink pony had made it impossible not to be friends.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't the same as with Cranky
Also, exposition via thinking

had to be Dashie's

Using a nickname in narration
Also, Dashie

believed that that care

That-Ex-Machina

had shown her there that there

an emotional and intellectual connectedness that fulfilled her in a way she had missed without and that she yearned for at an ever deeper level.

What?

out of her severe anxiety-induced blues.

a.k.a Depression

Since she was old enough to form memories she recalled rocking herself with her teddy between her flanks.

+1

On the other hoof, the actions she thought of as weak and shameful drove away her every care with such intense excitement that she never forgot why it held her in its obsessive control, and, when it was over, the release of pent-up tension and hormones soothed her aching loneliness in a wave of oxytocin.

For all you dumbs Americans out there, she masturbated 'till she felt asleep
Also, no more innocent Fluttershy, +1

had had romantic feelings

Had-Ex-Machina

There's a lot of issues with this fic, too much to count. The fic itself, is not bad, not even close to bad, but it needs a lot of polishing. I'm not talking about pedophile Flutters, that's something for a whole review, so I prefer to keep my track on the fic. Need to polish grammar, a lot. Also, most Prologues are short, I'm not saying I don't enjoy a large scalated fic, but I prefer the Prologues to introduce the general idea in less than 2k words. And, I don't know about others, but I found this first part very confusing.

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Quote 1: True
Quote 2: Please don't remind me
Quote 3: Because you cant stop the love
Quote 4: Being in a crowd is like the opposite of being in front of one so I think she would enjoy being in one
Quote 5: Fluttershy embodies kindness while cranky embodies Grumpiness. see where I'm going with this?
Quote 6: Its Fluttershy thinking
Quote 7: No ghost in shells please
Quote 8: Okay
Quote 9: I agree
Quote 10: Depression isn't fun I can tell you that
Quote 11: *brohoof*
Quote 12: good thing I'm English then and know what that stuff means
Quote 13: No more shells with ghosts in (I do realise that ghost in the shell is Deus-Ex-Machina but I like the saying)

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How's this work for you? Don't hesitate to tell me it's too wordy if that's what you think, of course.

The pony friends Fluttershy had gained over the years had shown her there was something more to be had in bonding with a peer than she could ever find in the company of her animal friends, an emotional and intellectual connectedness that fulfilled her in a way she had missed without that bonding and that she yearned for at an ever deeper level.

Addition italicized.

This looks like it will be an extremely good fan-fic. I love how you are willing to go into the emotional details, of Fluttershy's self in this. Time to read everything else and then wait "patiently" for the next chapter(s).

Biochemistry, Fluttershy, and correct grammar...

I think I may have found the perfect clopfic.

You do know you literally repeated the entire prologue on top of itself? I'm surprised nobody called out on it before now.

5559856 Thanks! That was a recent mistake, actually, from when I posted revisions last week, I think.

God I hope there isn't any TwiFlash in this story.

And so it begins.

I definitely had some misconceptions about the foal stuff. This is exceptionally well written!

Will get to the other chapters in time for sure.