Flutterpony
Joined 24th Sep, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- jdnehberefncuhn · 13k words · 234 31 · 7.2k views
- Regidar · 2.1k words · 369 47 · 9.7k views
- flutterdash1 · 9.1k words · 290 20 · 5.2k views
- Holocron · 29k words · 295 64 · 8.5k views
- Deathsia · 67k words · 518 75 · 10k views
- The Grimm Reaper · 13k words · 373 24 · 6.5k views
- Mini Minrie · 6.5k words · 321 39 · 9.6k views
- heidi666 · 15k words · 255 23 · 4.6k views
Featured In59
The Writers' Group56,386 stories ·9,291 members
Fluttershy4,016 stories ·2,925 members
- Author Support4,370 stories ·2,069 members
- author help (a group made to help new and old authors with fic's)1,792 stories ·682 members
Art for Fanfiction212 stories ·5,168 members
- Struggling Authors25,180 stories ·3,671 members
- Rookies on the Rise2,990 stories ·1,133 members
Oh god! The FEELS!1,953 stories ·939 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.23 seconds
Total duration
633 users online
854,541 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Good stuff!! Can't wait for more!!
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/arch/src/130649728613.gif
A little too much filler for me, but I love the introduction. Very solid and quite appetizing. I look forward to more chapters.
More plz
3293308
Yeah I agree. As with most stories I read, I'm usually eager to be finished with the prologue.
3294082
3293268
I'm slow but I wish I were fast.
wow, this is great! please continue soon!
3294447 you don't have to be too fast just practise and you will get faster
3299181 Yeah. I think practice is key. Thanks
I agree there is too much filler in here, to much telling and not enough showing, and certainly not enough actions happening between the characters (and I don't mean just sex). Stories in general often don't need a prologue, least not in my humble opinion. A lot of information that gets brought up here can be brought up through actions and dialogue through chapters.
It will be interesting to see what content the actual chapters will have.
3300006 any time now.if only I would.follow my own advice
3300846
I tend to get really caught up in explaining, yeah. It's something I'm trying to work on. I didn't worry about it too much in the prologue, but I do agree it makes things a lot less interesting.
3308567 I'm really enjoying this story. You're giving it plenty of depth which I desire. I sense that this will continue to be as well written as it is been so far.
Keep up the excellent work. I look forward to the next chapter
A very unique story with a largely unexplored situation on hand....Hoof.
And seen through the perspective of an unwilling and highly unsuspectable character? 
Consider me intrigued.
This is such an interesting ship, I like it very much~ looking forward to the rest
You write pretty damn well, keep it up!
Your reader enjoy this... Ship. Please provide me with this smooth and nice writing style, the character have a good interaction with each other. You have me hooked. Now I shall wait for the rest to come.
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4513043712/hC244FBBB/
I am interested to see where this goes.
I think it may be a good idea to break up your paragraphs a bit. They'd work well on a physical page, but I find that more frequent paragraph breaks are better when working with a digital format.
3357830
I'll keep this in mind for chapter 3. Chapter 2 is too far gone. Thanks for the suggestion.
I like this its a good read an I like the depth of detail you went into very good. Mix that with interactions with other ponys
but I shall favriote an wait for more keep going.
3361988
I OCD'd and fixed paragraph lengths in chapter 2 in the end after all. I think it's better.
Oh, Fluttershy. I think this'll be very interesting to follow. Fluttershy's turmoil- I love it so far!
DAMN YOU AND THE CLIFFHANGER!
I just want for Shy to be happy
Very good story, eager to read more, fluttershy and sweetie belle.
Hm, yes, cliffhangers. So very enjoyable.
I do hope things end, at the least, amicably for the two of them, though that would depend on which themes you're going to explore with this...
On another note, I thought your poetry was rather apt. I don't think a spontaneous poetic outburst by a character should be perfect. I, of course, cringed out of reflex when I saw the oncoming italics, but was pleasantly surprised.
Glad to hear the lyrics were palatable.
Thanks for all the comments!
Brilliant
this is beautiful and i love it
Drat it all, I hate cliffhangers....
I guess I will have to deal with it, im loving this story progression keep it up. 
Ugh, cliffhanger... Even with a fairly educated guess as to how this is going to pan out, those are always painful. I guess I can't complain though, given the things I've written in the past...
Anyway, nicely done. I must say I'm really enjoying watching this unfold from a (somewhat) less explored angle of the whole foalcon experience. Keep up the good work.
Notice I've added an (((Optional Listening))) playlist to the story description for those who might like to hear songs that have served as my muses (or else are simply Flutterbelle-themed).
Very nice chapter :)
this story is 100% wonderful, beautiful to read and think about, tender and sweet and realistic, i know its not "right" to think this but this is the way that a relationship like this coudl happen and be okay. i dont think my jimmies r rustled exactly by religious overtones, but they dont really fit in with the equestria we've seen in the show, at least not so far.....still its no big deal
i know u will do what u plan to do the way u want to do it with this story, and its amazing and beautiful to read so ill take anything and everything u've got planned, but i do very much hope that in the end, things work out for flutters and sweetie and they can be happy, and happy together.
An adequate reactionary image depicting approximately how I feel when I receive the lovely praise of readers, (i.e. mfw).
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/9/13/426417__safe_solo_animated_sweetie+belle_cute_upvotes+galore_floppy+ears_ponyville+confidential_diasweetes.gif
While I definitely noticed the religious overtones, they weren't as bothersome as some might think. The story itself is beautifully written, and it's obvious you put a lot of time and effort into Fluttershy's explanation of love to Sweetie Belle, so I don't mind that you express personal opinions here or there(hey, it's your story!) While I don't exactly approve of people flaunting their religious beliefs everywhere, you did it in a way that makes it dramatically less tedious to read. Keep up the god work!
I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. However, my editor's instincts are leaving me conflicted.
There's something to be said for subtext, for allowing the reader to interpret and conclude on his or her own.
3453107
Yeah I don't see much about religion as we know it in the show either aside from the occasional church steeple in Ponyville or background clergypony. There's certainly nothing about sexual morality addressed in the show for obvious reasons.
3453252
That's my instinct to explain everything kicking in again I think. Since the whole work is still unfinished, it's possible I'll decide I want to leave the reader more room for interpretation in these first chapters and I could rewrite it with that in mind. Even though this is a story intended for deep psychological, emotional, and spiritual exploration I think I agree that some of the detail is a bit much or at least it doesn't flow quite as well as I'd like at parts.
When more plot begins to reveal itself (lol plot reveal) I'm hoping I'll be able to dial back the descriptions of character thought processes and use more narrative ellipses. As is, the whole of "Chapter 3" covers less than an hour's worth of actual in-story time. I definitely can't keep that up.
3454809
I don't think you need to rewrite anything, as doing so would alter the voice of what you have. Just something to keep in mind going forward.
Bravo! And lucky me, having forgotten to check back on this story since it was first posted, and coincidentally remembered right when the chapter 2 cliffhanger was resolved
I love everything that's happened so far. Fluttershy is definitely treading on thin ice, and Sweetie is in a bit over her head... but only a bit, as she seems to be at that age where she'd be dealing with these feelings on her own soon anyway. The detailed writing of their thought processes is great. Certainly not possible to do continuously if this chapter only covered an hour of in-story time, but it was probably one of the most significant hours of their lives, and rather precarious throughout, and thus worthy of such detail
The religious overtones don't bother me because it's realistic... but I definitely don't agree with the philosophy Fluttershy's been taught. Masturbation is a good thing. It's a contagious cultural mind virus that causes people to poison kids' minds with thoughts of shame in relation to all things sexual. Part of the system that keeps the masses docile and subservient to the powerful few. It's a powerful feeling, as Fluttershy says...
Can't wait to see how this story pans out. How long will it be until Rarity becomes suspicious? What will Fluttershy say when Twilight comes to check up on her (seriously, she lasted all of maybe 4 hours before making a move
)? And what will Fluttershy be doing at the time Twilight arrives
? And will Fluttershy and/or Sweetie's feelings fade over time as Sweetie grows up and changes? What if she becomes a famous singer and is gone touring all the time? A risky relationship, indeed.
season 4 premiere AND an update to this story? and the update has sexy times? someone up there must love me
this was wonderful to read, beautiful and tender and touching but also uncommonly emotionally realistic and i like that the story really feels like the arousal of the moment overtook them and theres consequences and even tho it breaks my heart i love it and cant wait to read whats next
Sweet chapter MORE PLEASE!! :)
Your comments always make my day. Thanks folks!
Not bad for your first fic in my opinion. Granted some of the scenes can drag on too long for my taste, and it would have helped the story's pacing if you didn't go so much in-depth with some of the details.
I'll be keeping an eye for this story though. I'm not a fan of Mature fiction (let alone pedofoalia fiction), but I have a thing for going out of my comfort zone every now and then. Besides, I gotta give you some credit for making a solid introduction, and making something risky like this.
Best of luck to you.
3547005 thanks! Yep this isn't everypony's cup of tea for sure. As for the writing, practice practice practice.
No. That is not the correct usage.
3588081 It is. It stems from lolicon, which is something you can be along with it being a type of fetish.
Also, how have I not commented on this yet? Haven't read it, but it's gonna happen.
3588081
3589048
Right. The Japanese use the word lolicon to denote one with a lolita complex as well as the condition itself (of being attracted to lolis). In Western culture we use "lolicon" for the fetish and the porn of course, but also to mean a person who's into that type of porn.
No shame in not knowing, and I appreciate the effort to help in any case!
3589566
I have never heard it called that...
3589759
The use was more common 10 years ago I suppose.
Okay,how do i express this correctly....
"Please dont take Fluttershy from me,author.I want to marry her and no one else.If you can make wishes happen,make it possible for me to be with her for the rest of my
This is an absurdly bad story,because not only does it fail in presenting a moral of the story,it actually tells you that it is weird to be in love with someone under age and actually has teh nerve to combine light romance with fetish sexual intercourse,thereforeThat was wrong,so,here we go again:
This is a true masterpiece,allowing us to understand each character and presenting us the difficulties of a love being "unethic" and expresses the worries of Fluttershy without pulling the whole story into a sadness-based fic,thereforeNo no no.That won't work. Okay,then lets keep it simple:
Cute romance is best romance,and making a romance between Fluttershy and Sweetie Belle makes for the maximum dose of "D'aawwww" without side effects.Using the situation that is apparent,we can pick our own side,whether we support FS and SB's actions or just want soemone to make a fire pit for them,having a nice balance without boring either side.Therefore,I give to you:
A Happy Mane 6 (Except Twilight,who is confused a bit.)
PS:
life."
3596785 Thanks for all of your thoughts!
My equestria is polyamorous so if you enjoy imagining yourself in the story you can probably end up with Fluttershy still, but you'll have to please Sweetie as well.
3597420
icon i made to symbolize it as her words.
Okay, clearing up the mistake,just keep it as a sweetie/Fluttershy fic,if you didnt notice the
3597587
Any additional character to be added to the relationship is yet undecided.
Aw I see. You know I honestly don't know how they'll end up yet. I have an idea that I won't say, but it could change as the end draws closer.