Join Fluttershy and her friends on a journey of social, psychological, and emotional exploration in a harrowing tale of self discovery and clandestine relationships. You may never feel the same way about illicit love.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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will Rarity be mad at Fluttershy and sweetie belle for love one other?
I'm so excited that this came out. As long as the fic is, it's utterly amazing in the emotional build up. I'm so happy that you make these amazing chapters, in this foalcon done right, fic. It takes things in completely new directions from what I'm used to reading and does it in a thought provoking matter. I can't wait to see the big reveal when Flutters with Twilight by her side confesses to everypony and Sweetie Belle's and her relationship becomes known. Especially when you take into account that Rarity is the biggest gossip in Ponyville, and the fall out good, and bad is going to spread throughout Ponyville like a wildfire.
Oh, my... love letters... and rather beautiful ones, at that. What a brilliant development! And please, don't worry about rushing your updates or anything -- just knowing that the next chapter is coming soon is plenty and enough for me. I'm hanging on every word in every chapter, so far -- you're really managing to create some great tension, here.
SO MUCH build up, its truly amazing!!! But I can just predict that when the reveal happens, this will get insane.
Reading that author's note, this fic has totally gone meta. Just like Fluttershy, I shouldn't be writing a comment right now when it's so tempting to manipulate you into posting those 8000 glorious words Which makes you Sweetie Belle, trying to come up with flimsy excuses for why you shouldn't do what you obviously want to do, and would make all of us oh so happy
But really, the upcoming events are so important, take all the time you need to refine it to perfection
The love letters are totally adorable. Just enough overboard cheesiness to be realistic I'm secretly hoping one of them will have the idea to send the other a scented letter
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So is Fluttershy going completely abstinent from even masturbation? That seems a little... dangerous, actually.
The rest of the chapter with Rarity was great too, and all feels very natural. Including Fluttershy's slip of using the word "dangerous", not knowing that Sweetie had done the same. I do believe we've passed the point of no return
what do u mean by "Twilight's and Rarity's romances"? by this point raritys only been shown to have had that crush on blueblood that didnt work out, and twilights never had a romance, unless u count her feelings for celestia but a romance takes 2??
anyways this was a lovely chapter, very nice love letters, i really like that u had realistic spelling errors in sweetie belles letter, i also love the referecne 2 pinkie pies balls and eyepatches lol. this is not much more then a transitioning chapter but its very nice allt he same, always a delight to see a new chapter cant wait 4 the next chappy
4709242 I think I'll replace that bit with "romantic prospects" referring to Blue Blood and Flash Sentry and, later for Rarity, Trenderhoof maybe, sticking to canon mostly there. I'm a big Twilestia fan, but we haven't found out if Twi feels that way about her former mentor in this story.
Yep. Definitely a transitioning chapter. Glad it's enjoyable anyway! I do make an effort. This could have been part of the next chapter, possibly, but it would have made the chapter far too long I think.
4706023 I'm glad the length isn't too much. I know I get turned off by longer fics unless they're about something or a pairing that I really love, or at least finished so I can read them all the way through. I always find it a treat when my writing stands out to a commenter as well.
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I love the tension too. It leaves a lot to expect from what's coming!
The love letters are cheese-tastic really, especially Sweetie's, but I figure hers would be that way, realistically. They're really sweet too, I agree.
So far, Fluttershy's goals for abstinence for herself are unclear as I've written them except as far as her relationship with Sweetie goes. Maybe she masturbates, maybe she refrains from doing so. The latter seems more likely. Hopefully it works out for her, whichever it is.
I am loving this I can not wait for the next chapter!
a long fic, if well written, is the greatest thing in the world. Stories like this are the reason I even bother going through clopfics, because now and then you find a real diamond.
4712893 Thanks! Yeah. I wish there were a way to reach those who'd enjoy it but get deterred by the rating. Maybe I'll write an abridged version rated teen as a "new" story.
4712944 I think the story's description could probably do with a revision, to give people a more accurate idea of what the story is about.
4714745 Yes. I think so too. I've been tweaking it but it needs a full rewrite. I'll see what I can come up with.
Oh man, what to say. So I don't normally read foalcon, not a judgement just not my cup o tea, but I saw this story and the description made me think "well this doesn't look like it's 13 chapters of explicit descriptions of Fluttershy and Sweetie Belle having sex", so I gave it a chance and I'm glad I did. Very few stories stir such conflicting emotions, you do an amazing job of letting the reader understand what Fluttershy is going through, she's not a malicious child predator, she the same kind pony we all know and love dealing with all sorts of conflicting psyche damage.
If I have a complaint it's that everyone (so far) seems a little too willing to accept Flutters and Sweeties relationship. Sweetie pretty much accepted it instantly, and I like how you're writing Twilight's as both committing to helping her friend but also not sure that this is a good idea, and I like that AJ is against it but trust Twilight because she doesn't know the whole story. But I can't help but think that somewhere in here needs to be somepony saying, "No this isn't right, not because you don't love eachothter but because Sweeties a child and her underdeveloped mind can't process these emotions, and Fluttershy you need to talk to a professional instead of repeating the endless cycle of lust and shame!"
But I'm not criticizing because this is incredibly well written and I'm eagerly awaiting more of it. Also your re-write of "You are my sunshine" may or may not have made me tear up a little bit.
You've earned a like/fav/follow.
4719223 Your comments are greatly appreciated. Yeah the sex tag is a deal breaker for many it seems. Glad you gave it a shot though!
So far it's been relatively easy for Fluttershy. I've been surprised by how supportive Twilight has been despite her uncertainty. Same with AJ. (They write themselves to a certain extent.) But then, these characters do have more trust in each other than many friends might, otherwise Fluttershy and Sweetie's relationship might have been completely different, or, most likely, not happened at all since Sweetie might not have trusted Fluttershy or even sought her out when she had that argument with Rarity. For that matter Fluttershy might not have taken the chance she did. In any case, you've reconfirmed something I've thought for a while and heard before. I may be inserting a flashback chapter earlier in the story when I get around to it.
And there will certainly be a time for neighsayers.
Thanks for your support!
4714745 What do you think of the tweak and addition I made?
Happy to receive input about the story description from every reader.
4747143 It's certainly better, let me see..
*couple minutes later*
Nope, can't really think of anything significant enough to add on to that, the only thing that comes to mind is the whole challenging societies expectations on such a taboo relationship and hoping to not be banished to the moon for it, and maybe, just MAYBE redefining the laws on it, as they are proving that such a relationship isn't guaranteed to be bad, but i don't know how you'd word that into what you've got written already.
P.S: i revised this comment for so long, god damn. @3@
4747871 Coolie. Glad it looks better. I might mention challenging Equestria's mores in the future.
What
4753335 Have I finally scored some rustled jimmies? I've been lacking those.
Another solid chapter! I can't help but get a little upset reading these chapters though, because I find myself wishing that Fluttershy and Sweetie could just be together and be happy. I almost wish they'd run away together and leave everything behind, but I know that's not going to happen for lots of good reasons. It's heartbreaking to see Fluttershy have to struggle with all these, even to the point where she won't address her own desires to the point of feeling like she needs a sitter, or someone to stop her hoof from scratching that itch. It's tragic, and I just hope at the end of this all, there's a happy ending for them. I just know things will get worse once Rarity finds out.
Ahh Lovely,
I can feel those stings ...
And pony that likes to chat about everpony else.
Lest the power of a PPP be invoked
5590398 I continue to eagerly collect responses to all of my chapters and original author's notes, and I'm glad you missed reading the previous comments if only because it prompted you to assume correctly that I wanted more. I'm flattered by your compliments and happy that the effort I've put into the story shows. Any author who devotes themself to his/her craft should want comments, even slightly repetitive ones, unless they've given up on improving the story.
Yes, the exact language of scripture is tough to work into a modern romance fanfic. I think it's similar to the inclusion of Christ and God. Can the typical reader still enjoy it, even though it's stilted? Well, here's the experiment that my conscience forced me to try out. I think it only turned out half as disastrous as I feared! The more comments I receive with questions and complaints about that chapter, the more likely I am to soon write and publish a short fic, apart from Fallen Angels, explaining how holy writ and Christianity made their way into Equestria. Honestly, I don't doubt that, if there were two worlds connected like Equestria and Canterlot High have been (with a history that dates at least back to Starswirl), the language of holy writ within Equestria would have grown apart from that of its origin in the human (CHS/EqG) world. It may or may not be more compatible or, perhaps, equally stiff compared to the language of Fallen Angels. Since I can't predict exactly how the language should be, I default to the King James version and, in special cases, the modernized King James version as those are what I know best.
Sweetie's exact age is left unspecified throughout the fic intentionally, to evoke critical thought about what age would be acceptable or unacceptable for her relationship with Fluttershy. Her behavior unmasks my mental age range for Sweetie, but I still wish for there to be uncertainty. It's not a pleasant uncertainty, I think, but it's still helpful for making readers and myself think.
5590878 say what? Which chapter is out of order? Maybe I failed to arrange them correctly. I never meant to rearrange any of the events of the story.
5590878 I just had a thought. Maybe you think that I've republished all the chapters. There are still 4 or 5 chapters unpublished which used to be published, currently undergoing revision. The one I'm publishing now is the one where Rarity finds out about Fluttershy and Sweetie.
It should be "Belle's" and there is an unneeded space before the ellipses. Those were the only two errors that stood out to me.
oh the irony lolz
I be honest, if i feel like some parts like the letters, aren´t that important, then i skipp a little bit, because i want to catch up with the story, i know i should not do it if i want to know every little think, but right now i am not very patient, but the story is really good.
I just hope Rarity, AppleJack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie can accept Sweetie Belle and Fluttershy's relationship.