Shining Armor explains to his foals how he met their mother by being much too handsome. Well, technically he met their mother when she foalsat Twilight, but, perhaps how he met their mother a second time. And their first date. And the entire story of their marriage.
Hope you kids have a lot of time on your hooves.
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This is the greatest. I laughed a LOT. Good show.
Oh gawd yesh.
Also:
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA that was the most hilarious fic I EVER read!
Damn good fic
cdn.overclock.net/f/f7/f7877e57_faceWUT.jpeg
...No.
Overall...HAVE MY FAV AND LIKE!! This...was...hilarious!
More please.
3095101
"Oliver Twit if you ask me. I would have done things differently."
[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=L-bU8mhogv4]
Man, Shining's friends are jerks.
...Well...that certainly is one way, to deflect attention from mares...Kudos...??
Great fic man, can't wait to see the meeting with Twilight (if it happens) or better yet Cadance.
Beautiful.
Beautiful. Just. Have my foals!
3095626
Or how about:
"How is that even possible? I'm a stallion, I can't carry foals! Much less have them."
Oh, yesh, some edits for ye, author.
Get their what early?
I'll let you figure out what went wrong here.
Two hay bars and an oat bar does not three oat bars make.
Fairly funny, but the timing is completely off. Shining just got out of the Academy and Twilight has already been living in Ponyville for at least a year? Gonna be a particularly impressive rise to being Captain of the Guard.
3098685 Thanks a bundle
3098710 The story is set in the middle of the first season. I assumed that considering winter wrap up is followed by call of the cutie and then immediately fall weather friends, that the timeline isn't exactly linear for the episodes (aka the episodes are set at the point and time at which something happened), so I'd also assume that between now and the wedding, which is the first time Shining is mentioned as captain of the guard, there is plenty of time for him to rise in the ranks (plus, cmon, starswirl honors and top of the class?).
These are just assumptions though.
3098734 Even the guys who graduate at the top of West Point take years to make it to the top of the military. Unless Twilight's been living in Ponyville for a solid decade, it's still astonishingly short. You might make his eventual rank be more of a ceremonial one, that'd be a lot more understandable.
Oh god, it's great to have you back
3095101
Abby, before I read this, tell me, is this story funny or not
Love the cover art
3098800 We'll see.
3098910 It's good to be back
Whatever the fuck I just read, I need more of it.
lol! braeburn is gay???/('
');
This was funny... until you had SA point out the whole double standards thing. Then it was just uncomfortable.
Then Braeburn happened, and it was funny again.
Also, the How I Met Your Mother schtick kind've works. You should keep that.
3098800
There is some confusion over whether he is _the_ Captain Of The Guard, or _a_ captain in the guard. Assuming the latter, and assuming the top student at the Academy is granted officer rank right off the bat, SA could plausibly make captain in about two years - assuming a positively stellar performance, and a hefty dollop of luck.
But generally, the first is assumed. Now, to clear up a point of contention, being Captain of the Guard does _not_ necessarily make him the commanding officer of the entire Equestrian Armed Forces. That assumption only holds true if the EAF comprises of only the Royal Guard.
However, Captain of the Guard, being the title of the commanding officer, would only be held by an actual captain if the force they commanded was company strength. Assuming each division of the Guard to be regiment strength, the CO could possibly be a lieutenant colonel. So no, there is no way a modern military outfit would promote him that high within any reasonable time period.
But that's just it - we're not dealing with a modern military outfit. We're dealing with a military that still uses spears and armour, and is headed by Royalty. Ignoring the possibility that Celestia expedited his ascent through the ranks for any number of reasons, we could be dealing with a very early rank system - one with not so many ranks in it. And of course, when the top of the pile is only five or six steps removed from the bottom, it's a lot easier to make your way up there.
3099902 I didn't want anybody starting a riot in the comments about MRA and double standards, figured I'd put that in there to ease the inner comment warrior that might have started something about it in the comments.
3099671 what happened to you?
3099913
That's a fair concern. The problem, however, is that you pointed out that it's really not funny, and went straight back to being funny with it. Cue cognitive dissonance for the majority of the chapter. Whereas you could just as effectively soothe the MRA by putting that scene _after_ the main bulk of the harassment jokes, thereby allowing everyone who would normally be amused by those antics, to simply be amused.
3099902 Good points, I was probably assuming the first a little too hard.
Shining Armor's To do list:
Meet friends at train station: check
Buy some snacks from vending machine: Check
Get sexually harassed by every lady in a 30 ft radius: Check
Get on the train home with lots of girls onboard: Check
RUN AWAY!: Can't, you're on a train.
My vote goes to "to be continued"!
I mean, we didn't even meet their mother yet!
I aslo agree with Charavath: (3099846) Whatever the fuck I just read, I need more of it.
Alternate title for this story:
"The Day Shining Armor Forgot to Disable His Swag"
Other than the fact that you confused CPR and the Heimlich maneuver, this was pretty good.
I agree with Lightning and Caramel. What man bitches about getting bitches?
To be continued, definitely to be continued!
If only someone in real life could be sexually harrased like this...
(writer, have my babies)
Nice fic! There was something I wanted to talk about, but I forgot...o well!
Oh yes, and my vote goes towards continued.
Wow, this is hilarious, nicely done on the story telling and humor.
3095101i have read it, this i too funny!
Oh, this was what I was gonna say.
SA is gonna have a hell of a time in Ponyville...that female/male ratio...
Oh, this is going to get ugly...
...for Shining Armor, that is.
Everypony's gay for Braeburn.
Please continue this.
please continue this, it's beautiful
This was far beyond fantastic
3099459 yeah ur right
Keep it going!
This is fucking hilarious. I had to stop to breath multiple times.
Please pleasePLEASE continue
Oh god that was too good. I'm still cracking up
hehe, ya please continue, this is hilarious.
Seriously need to work on your descriptions. Something that actually strings the dialogue together and explains what's happening.
As it is here, there's nothing to indicate what just happened other than expecting the reader to make an educated guess; it would be greatly improved by some actual descriptions, such as...
"And iced tea for you," she said, a service worker's smile glued to her face. Shining reached to grab the cup out of the air, but before his magic could grasp the glass, it tipped and spilled onto his lap.
"Hey!"
"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry." The server's expression suggested that she wasn't sorry at all.
There's also the fact that Shiny is going to Ponyville to visit Twilight, having just graduated what I assume is the Equestrian equivalent of OCS. This means that within only a couple of years, this newly-minted officer; one who hasn't seen any sort of action, is going to be in one of the nation's highest and most prestigous military positions. Unless there was a sudden massive exodus of older, more experienced officers all reaching retirement age at roughly the same time, it makes no sense for this to happen, not even allowing for the... accelerated advancement... that would almost certainly be the result of having Celestia's personal student for a sister, and dating another Princess.
And then later on we have the scene with Braeburn. Even disregarding your obvious confusion regarding the Heimlich Maneuver with CPR (protip, CPR is for when they aren't breathing, such as people who were drowning, the Heimlich Maneuver is used for choking, and has a different method.), but it shows that Braeburn actually was choking, even though everything except for that little bit about the apple suggested that Braeburn was just trying to seduce Shiny, like everyone else.
Finally, a bit of relatively minor grammatical nitpicking...
Elsewhere, it's suggested that he's never been to Ponyville before, so his desire to go "back", doesn't really fit.