• Published 24th Jul 2013
  • 1,812 Views, 183 Comments

Good, bad, and why me? - Normalguy



It was just a normal day of going to school, and I just dont know what went wrong.

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Eploration HO!!!

Exploration HO!!!

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Somewhere Outside of Ponyville) 3rd person view)


" So what do you think it is?" Spoke a tiny orange Pegasus with a purple mane. Scootaloo is her name and poking others on the face is her game.

" Well didn't Twilight say it's a human? And will you stop poking it in the face with a stick Scootaloo." Says the filly that has a yellow coat and red mane with a pink bow. Applebloom tries to keep her friend from poking the alien in the face, fearing that they might anger it.

" Yes Twilight did day HE'S a human, and she told everypony at the party last night that he's friendly." Spoke out the last filly of the group. Having a two tone pink and light purple mane all on white coat. Sweetie bell is her name.

The three fillies kept watching the outsider, well two watching one poking him in the face with a stick. They heard a groan come out of the human, They all backed away fearing what would happen but all he did was sit up right and open his eyes.
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Back to Jon)

I open my eyes to see three fillies. They all look familiar but I cant put my finger on it. They seem to be friends by the looks of it seeing that they're holding each other. I wonder what there doing here? I'm gonna ask!
" Hello there." I speak out.

" H-hi." The small trio speaks simultaneously.

" What are you doing around here?"

" Well we were about to go crusadin and we walked on by an saw ya." said the one with a bow.

" Well what are your names if you don't mind me asking."

" My names Applebloom."

" My names Scootaloo"

" And my name is Sweetie belle."

" And that's not all together were the..." Applebloom started. "THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!" they all shouted at the sky. Being about three feet from them, bad idea. Well i'm death.

" Ow my ears. Dey bleed." I speak quietly. They look at me questioningly wondering what's wrong. I gain my bearings quickly and talk to them. " So what are cutie marks exactly?"

" What are you stupid?" Says Scootaloo. Her friend, Applebloom hit her with her hoof lightly, but I don't think she got the memo. Also considering my ideas and grades, maybe.

" Hey am not! Can't you tell new planet and all?" She gave a quick embarrassed smile and quickly sad sorry after that.
" Well what were you about too do next?"

"Well, we were gonna explore!"

" Gonna explore what?"

"Girls what were we gonna explore?" Spoke Applebloom.

"We already explored the lake, town, and every other place there is." Said Scootaloo.

"Why not the forest?" I suggest.

"WHAT!!!" They all yell. "But were not supposed to go in there."

" Why?" I ask.

" They say is dangerous because, the weather moves on its own!" Speaks Applebloom.

" So does mine at home." I counter.

" All the animals take care of them selves! " Continues Sweetie belle.

" Ok then its natural order of nature." I counter again.

" And there are tons of monsters in there!" Lastly spoke Scootaloo.

" Like what?" All three give their own answer simultaneously.

" Like Timber wolves!" I raised my eyebrow at this. " And dragons!" Left eyebrow up activating right eyebrow. "And dangerous plants." Eyebrow scrunching maneuver activated.

" And?" It seems they couldn't think of anything else. They each put their own hoof to their chin and thought.

" Tons of giant bugs, thorns and manticores!" I made a 'ooo' Face at this.

" Well what are you gonna do now?" I ask.

" Can you give us any Ideas Mr. human?"

"Well first my name is Jon." They all nodded at that. " Second my Dad is Mr. human." They seems surprised at this. Lets let them spin for awhile. " Why not try being lawyers?"

" Tried that." Said Sweetie belle.

" How about river rafting?"

" I think we tried it." Says Applebloom.

" We did two weeks ago, remember?" says Scootaloo.

I'm surprised at this did they do everything? Well only can keep continuing until I find out. " How about airplane making?" They all seemed quite excited for this.

" What's a airplane?" Ask Scootaloo.

" Its like a flying chariot." All their look saddened at this. " What's wrong?"

" We already gave flying chariots" Says Sweetie belle.

" Really? How do they move?" I ask. They all looked at me with the 'Are you seriously asking this' face. I can tell what it looks like, Can't others answer my stupid question?

" Don't you know they get Pegasi to move them." Answers Sweetie belle once again.

" Ooh well a airplane is different from that." As soon as I said this the hype came back. " You see a airplane is like a flying chariot, But it doesn't use ponies to fly it." All their eyes went wide at this.

" Can you show us how to build one?" Scootaloo asks.

" No, I don't know how." I say while shrugging." But I kinda now what it takes to make one."

" Can ya tell us how?" Ask Applebloom.

"Do you want me to tell you or draw you it, and what it needs."

" Umm, number two please."

" Ok then where can we find a chalk board?" Everyone stopped and thought for a minuet. We all speak up at the same time. "No Idea!" I say while raising my hands in the air.

"Twilight!" Applebloom spoke.

"Twilight!" Sweetie belle.

"Twilight!" Scootaloo spoke.

"Oh yeah, Twilight's! Where's Twilight's place?"

"Come on we'll take you there!"
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We all meaning me got up from the ground and walked towards town. I know what Twilight's place looks like but not a freakin clue where it is. As we stepped into town I got more looks at the architecture, it seems easy enough. wonder why in the old days we somehow both used straw as the roof protection? Meh i'll ask someone later.

Anyway the CMC apparently took me trough the most busiest part of town because all dem stares. I could see a whole lot of damn colors around, and they can see me, I don't like that. The CMC apparently notice this and sped up. me trying to run after them equals not a good Idea.

As I started to jog after the CMC the screaming was heard. I turned around to see what was happening and this is a bad day. There is a small mob right behind me loos like a crowd of twenty strong.

I start running as fast as I can while splitting away from the CMC. I really don't want them involved in this. now Where can I run to get away from the villagers? The Forest, its either a win-win are a all lose oh god I hope luck isn't a dick right now. Karma too.

I turn to the direction of the forest and start getting closer. I look at the ponies behind me and there are now less, but still a lot to kill me. I like being alive. It's fun. Any way the mad mob is still on my ass but the forest is getting closer. I didn't realize this cause i'm busy thinking about how not to die, but I think I kept saying " Bad day." Over and over again. Huh.

I could see the forest up ahead. I run like there's no tomorrow. I could tell that more villagers left but still enough for a mob. Ok the edge is literally ten feet away What Do I do?

" When you get to the edge jump like a action movie."

You know... when you feel lie your on the brink of death you'll do anything. I got right to the edge of the forest and jump for my life. I closed my eyes waiting for the pain. Time seems to slow down you know. In the midst of this, I turn my head and op my eyes to see about five villagers left, well damn.

I wait for the pain but it doesn't seem to come. All I hear is a had fwump and mild pain.
" Ouch."

I push my self up ad look around. Apparently landed in a large patch of flowers. Blue flowers. I get up and look around but don't see a exit of any kind or a mob, cool. Anyway from what I got his forest is dangerous and needs some exploring. I walk away from the flowers and head away from where I think I entered.

Remembering what the CMC told me about to this place is that I need a weapon. While on the move I talk to Iris.
" Hey Iris can you hear me?" I speak out loud.

" Yes I can hear you. What do you need?"

" I need some help to decide what to do."

"Such as?"

" Well, you see I have this idea."

" What is said idea."

" Well this place says 'you need a weapon' and I don't have one."

"How are you gonna get a weapon?"

" Well the remember the gauntlet here can transform in the light?"

"Go on."

" I'm saying that a gauntlet is no the best weapon of choice."

" Please do tell how you are gonna get a new weapon"

"What do you think would happen if I threw the gauntlet above the trees, so the gauntlet could change into a weapon"

" Well that might a bad idea."

"Why?"

" Because if you throw it in the air and if it does work, you don't know where it's gonna land."

" Ooh."

" Also there is when it transforms it flashes, so it might just signal everybody including predators, where you are."

" Ugh, fine. What do you think we should do there is a lot of plans in my way." I say while trying to get around a massive set of vines.

" Don't you have that knife thing in your bag?"

" Oh, duh." I stop and take off my bag to open it. I take out the machete and start hacking with the black blade. As i'm hacking at the plant a small rumble is heard. " Hey Iris? You heard that too right?"

"Yes I did Jon." I look to my left and fight and see nothing.

" Well there's nothing around me, Iris?"

"Look behind you."

I look behind me too see something. But there's nothing there. All there is, is a tees and flattened grass from where I stepped. " See there's nothing behind me." Oh how wrong I am. A light growling is heard behind me. "Hey Iris?"

"Uhh, Yeah?" The nervousness in her tone is clear.

" You then I should turn around?" The nervousness is also clear in my voice.

" Maybe?"

I turn around to see the growling foe. Ok the monster, which is now in front of me, is a giant vine monster. Ok how can I describe this? Um the have you ever played Pokémon? Well the monster is like a tangela, but it has no eyes, a giant multi vine stem, and plant teeth made of pointy vines. Not good at all. The plant is huge and by that I mean way taller then me, Damn thing is practically ten feet tall.

" Oh god, Hey Mr. Plant." I say while backing up. Lets call him Mr. Plant for now K? Mr. Plant is getting closer to my face while growling. As i'm backing up I hit tree. "So Mr. Plant, your not gonna eat me? Right?"

*ROOOOOOOAR!!!!*

And there off! I run as fast as I can away from Mr. Plant. Trees pass bye faster and faster. I look behind me only to get a glimpse of death. Oh god, Mr. Plant is right behind me snapping away at me. As i'm looking away I hit a tree and fall to the ground back downwards. Apparently Mr. Plant here couldn't stop fast enough, because he crashed right into the tree and smashed through with his plant jaws. All I could do is lay down and wait for the right time to move. Mr. Plant reared back and is now face to me, he prepared to strike me and all I could do is watch.

I snap out of it and barrel roll to the right. I watch in horror as Mr. Plant's 'teeth' snap at the earth that I layed upon seconds ago. His 'teeth' stuck to the ground and he couldn't move. I took a breather and stared at him thinking what to do next. My breather got cut short by a rumbling sound. Mr. Plant isn't done yet. The vines that make up the stem arch back and strain at the head. With a great force Mr. Plant's 'mouth' pulls from the ground with a giant mound of dirt in his mouth. I take this as a sign to run.

"Bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day!!!"

I take multiple corners to try to escape the monstrosity, but is useless as he keeps coming after me ever time. Maybe it'll be like a power cord and he'll un out of vines. I run in to a wall of stone, its keeping me from moving forward. Mr. Plant prepares to take a snap at me. But like the tree ad ground it sticks to it. I don't stay around to watch, because I nee to get away.

I make a tactical retreat or run away. Anyway up ahead is a giant ravine with a rope bridge. The rope bridge is rickety, all the planks almost seem to worn down with natural causes. I hear a roar behind me. Well time to run across.

"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!" I yell while sprinting at full speed across the bridge. I make it across with few problems. I take a breather and turn around to see damage. The rope bridge has a lot a broken planks now, yeah definitely not gong across that again. I turnaround to find a direction to run but all I see are ruins.

The ruins consist of multiple towers all covered in vines from to bottom the front of it has stone bricks of all sizes stacked upon each other. Windows of intricate designs with no glass but the bars are still there. Stairs lead to two giant doors made of wood and a giant handle. Thinking about Mr. Plant I try to get inside ASAP.

I walk up the stone stairs and to the door. I pull the giant door with ally might, but in only opens for me to slip in. I make it in and pull the door to shut it I look for a way to lock it the door has two hooks on the side and the handles are lose. Ok the hooks are either for design purposes or a lock but it needs a long of some kind. Shut up.

I look around the castle like ruins, but time has hit this place hard. The entrance i'm in has a long hallway down. at the end seem to be a pedestal and entrances. One left, one right, and the last one is behind the pedestal. The pedestal has I think four arms sticking out and a flat place on top. Who cares? Looks like someone looted place already. Can't hurt too look.

I see some sunlight through a shattered window. Wonder if it can change in to a ranged weapon. I move over to the sunlight and shove my gauntleted hand into the light. You know how a mega buster looks? Yeah that's what I wanted.

A flash happens and my jaw drops at the sight. Ok the official mega buster is blue with a little energy bar on the side right? I'm not sure if this is a mega buster but it looks awesome in the color. The main color is golden , instead of a curved body it points in a cone fashion with the end cutting off forming a opening to shoot. the yellow bar is replaced with a liquid in one place that glow in a deep purple color. The only way to describe what it looks like is regal steampunk-ish.

"Whoa..." Wonder how it shoots.

I point my arm at a nearby rock and shoot a glowing purple pellet the size of a orange flies out and strikes the rock with gusto. The rock smashes in to smaller chunks meaning that it isn't OP.

" Ok if it does that to a rock, lets try to not use it full charge. Well at least I have range now." Never learned how to use a sword. Just hack and slash. I turn the mega buster back into the gauntlet.

" Why don't you get some food first. It's still earlyish and you might be here for a day or so."

" Your right maybe there's a well outside." I walk over to a widow with no glass and look around the edge to find anything helpful. Just out side is a stone well with a wooden bucket. that's easy now to find a easy way out. I look around to find window without an thing . I walk over to it and poke my head out.

You know those garden things where they have a bunch of bars on the wall so vines and plants can grow on them? Well that is perfectly against the wall right next to the window. I tap the bars to get what its made of, a small metallic sound is heard. This means I have a ladder, now if only we can find some food.

The climb down wasn't eventful but being scared of heights doesn't help at all. I make way to the well and inspect. the well is I good condition the bucket seems clean enough, good enough I guess. I look around to find food but none is here.

" Well I can fast on water done it before, can do it again."

" When have you fasted before?" Iris asks.

" Well i'm a lazy bastard, so as you can see during the summer I stay home a lot. This causes the fasting because i'm to lazy to get out of my room and cook."

"Oh, um cool.."

"Hey I lost weight from that."

"Sure"

I drink the bucket only to realize I have to pee. I quickly put the bucket back and head towards a bush. You know the process, don't ask. After that I drank a large amount of water from the bucket. Ok, I take a substantial amount of rope from the well and cut the part of the rope with the bucket (with full water of course) and start my climb up. The climb up is short but clunky when a rope and water is tied to it. after that I make a makeshift camp.

By makeshift camp I mean but the bag down next to the water and sleep. Later though got to loot this place.
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One session of looting later)

So after looting every entry down those three hallways all I got is, some golden coins ( they were lying around and seem pretty old), rubbish (rusty ETC), and some colorful gems. I was surprised to find all this maybe its worth something.

Night time is approaching. I want to sleep but I forgot to make a fire. I take my self to a corner and nod to sleep not without being cold though.

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Jon's head.)

I open my eyes to not see a stone roof but a sky of stars. Neat. I get off the ground and set off to find Iris.
"IRIS!! WHERE ARE YOU!!"

"Jeez i'm right here. what do you want?"

" Well I am about to see if Luna wants too come in so Just warning what's happening."

" Oh, ok. I'm gonna hide now"

I give her a thumbs up and turn around. I walk a little bit away and make a door. I open it, guess who's there? Nobody cause i'm a unsocial prick. I close the door only to hear a quick succession of knocks. I open the door and surprise! It's the princess of the night.

" Hey there Luna."

" Greetings Jon." I motion for her to come inside and she does.

" So need anything?"

" Yes we heard from thou sister that something has happened today, can you elaborate?"

I tell her what happened from this morning with the CMC and where I am.

" So thou is in the Everfree?" I nod at this " Where is thou taking shelter?"

" Oh, I found this old castle thing. There's a rope bridge and its pretty broken. So i'm stuck here."

" Well then, we shall send help after this."

" That be nice, cause I haven't eaten anything all day and all I got is water."

"WHAT!! Why couldn't thou find food?"

" Well I couldn't find some berries and I don't know how to hunt animals, nor want to. Don't worry i'm fine I can do this just send help soon. From experience I might faint tomorrow. Just warning you"

" We shall leave soon and send help as the sunrises soon."

" Got it how long should I wait?"

" Soon, the sun is soon to rise and you re to wake up soon."

this is the of are conversation, i'd say it went well. I open the door for the princess to leave, she accepts the opening and leaves. I black out.
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IRL)

I wake up but feel different. I reach up to rub my eyes but to my realization its a hoof. I turn my head to look at my body. Oh damn i'm a pony.
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That day a scream was heard across Equestria.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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back to Jon)

I look at my self while on the floor screaming.
" WHAT THE BUCK! WHY DID I JUST REPLACE BUCK WITH BUCK!"
insert more screaming.

Author's Note:

I took a wile for this to write
this is longer then I thought
stayed up through the night? Check!

Anyway as you can see I pulled out the poison joke card early but here it is let see how it turns out.

Anyone find the reference to one of my favorite TV shows?