- Member Since 1st Jul, 2012
- offline last seen Sunday
KillerSteel
"OH GOD, THEY'RE LAPDANCING ME!" -Steel, 2015 - Aspiring author, artist with absolutely no skill yet a lot of wants, and just your typical, all-around lover of MLP fanfiction. That's me.
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Nice work, Steel! Wonderfully written story, excellent plot (both types
) and of course, muy bueno sex scenes. Excellent capture of character personalities, and I can definitely say this story had my attention the entire way through. Can't wait to see what else you'll write. 
stream1.gifsoup.com/view/378852/chuck-norris-approves-o.gif
If this doesn't hit the feature box, there is something wrong with this site.
2677146
I'm REALLY hoping it gets up there, but it'll only get up there with the help of commentors! Fly, my friends!
Steel, this is brilliant!
2677283
I really frikkin' tried on this fic, and I think I managed to blow my expectations out of the water. After a while, the words just... came to me.
Pretty good for a two-day long writing process, eh?
Well now. That was... DAMN.
I'll parrot the others and say if this ain't featured, I quit the fan base.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2677307
Pretty damn good. My own writer's block is just starting to break.
2677312
Even a comment from Skeeter. Well, it'll only hit Featured with all you fine folks' help! Let's keep the love flowing!
Has a few rough spots, but it's a lovely idea well executed.
I'm not going to quit the fandom if it doesn't get featured, but I wouldn't be too shocked if it got into the feature box.
couldn't help but read the first section and just shout
2677427
But... but I did get on with it!
2677423
I really want this to hit Featured regardless. It's a lot better than some of the clopfics I've seen recently.
2677439
honestly... the first section wouldn't be a major loss if it was
*bribe
dealt with.
2677448
Hmmmm... we'll see.
2677439 2677427
I have to agree, on this point. I liked the story, but the opening could have been polished and tightened into a well-oiled machine of an opening, and it was sort of just meandering.
There were a few other things, but a bad hook will send a reader away in the first two pages. If I had to pick one thing to change, it would have been 'Fix your hook'.
2677476
Cut out the intro then, mm? Damn. Well, alright.
2677522
In this specific case, I'd say lead with the Mac scene. It sets the reader's expectation better than the current first scene.
But I meant tighten, as in 'reduce the number of words being used'. Meandering in the first two pages of anything is a mistake 99.9% of the time.
EDIT: If you want a more detailed explanation, I'd be happy to provide one in PMs. Let me know!
Holy flying buttocks. Thumbed up + fave, my good sir.
So the question now is what happens to the body of the victims? Big Mac said they disappear with no trace at all.
2678120
Well, I suppose we'll just have to ponder on that, won't we?
2678060
Glad you enjoyed, Blitz!
Oh come on, this has got to be worth a feature!
2678797
It's been on the Popular Stories list all day! Just a little longer now!
2678812 There you go steel.
2678975
And I could not be happier. I've finally made it! I've finally joined the ranks of so many other authors, and gotten a taste of what it's like to be in the spotlight!
You have no idea how high I feel right now. No idea.
2678992 Actually I think I have a fair idea XD Everyone has that first feature. It's a rush.
Well done, well done indeed.
Now I can stay in the fan base for a bit longer! (HAhaha)
~Skeeter The Lurker
You have given me my fate in the feature box, back.
2678995 2679003 2679024
Honest to God, thank you all, as well as everyone else who's ever followed me. It's because of all of you that this happened, and I wish the same fate to all of you.
My entire goal has been to restore some faith in the Featured Box, and now, with this massive boost of confidence, my coming fics are sure to amaze! I ASSURE you this!
Featured Box, I will make you golden once again!
2678120
Remember, Ponyville is next to the Everfree. And seeing who the one responsible for the disappearances is, it wouldn't be that hard to see how the bodies are being... disposed.
2679090 I did not think of that. Makes perfect sense. Should something like a Manticore come along, well, there definitely wouldn't be anything left then.
2679090 2679094
Ahhh, I love it when my writing inspires thought. The point about the Everfree is quite true indeed.
Though, Fluttershy here seems to be a rather kind pony, despite being a succubus from the depths of Tartarus. If I had to give it a manner of thought, I think she'd actually make a graveyard in some unreachable part of the Everfree, hidden from the prying eyes of ponies.
These graveyards could be all over... spooky, isn't it?
267911324.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8jz90Sg7B1rz8j2do1_500.png
2679113
Random OC 1: "Hey dude. Check it out. A graveyard."
Random OC 2: "Looks somewhat recent. Remember the missing ponies from Ponyville?"
Random OC 1: "You thinking what I think your thinking?"
Random OC 2: "Yup."
Random OC 1: "SHIT..."
Random OC 2: "Eeyup..."
2679113
Fluttershy is an animal caretaker. Some of them would logically be predators. Seeing she has three to four months to get rid of the bodies, that is plenty of time to use it as animal food. After all, if you starve pigs they can eat a human body, bones and all...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/199/242/64810%20-%20fetish%20scootaloo%20that_is_my_fetish.png.jpeg.png
Erm....ThunderShy isn't a crack ship
2678226 does that mean shell be gunning for bigmac at one time and maybe rumble when hes older? what about the other elements aswell or spike?
2679127
Ah, now you've made me think that Applejack is like Brick Top, with the whole business thing and lots of pigs going on...
This story was great, both very sexy and and also unsettling and scary. I would say that the intro was a bit long though.
2679122
Exactly...
2679127
Didn't know that about pigs. Interesting. But considering that Fluttershy has mostly birds, chickens, squirrels and other small animals around her cottage, I don't think she'd keep likely predators nearby. Still, she does know where the Everfree's Hydra is... hmm.
2679134
This implies Fluccubus isn't everyone's fetish.
2679146
Dunno if I ever mentioned that... but that's nice.
2679417
This really depends, but yes. Everyone's a target. You might be able to pick out who she may go for first, however.
2679921
Seems people are complaining a lot about the intro. I'll keep it in mind for my next story, but it just made sense at the time to make it a flashback.
2680227 Er what is?
2680229
You telling me that ThunderShy isn't a crackship. Dunno where I'd ever mentioned that, or implied that it was... but I guess it's nice to know.
2680238 No I got here because it was added into the group Crack Ships Inc; which is weird because the ship isn't really a crack ship, just a minor one.
2680428
I think your link there blew up.
The sad part is that Sexy Demon Fluttershy is a lot more in character than normal Fluttershy in most clopfics.
And look, this fic even has a story to go with the clop!
This is a once in a lifetime experience, kiddies.
2681386
And it only goes up from here, trust me. This is a quality that I'll fight to surpass!
2680243
Ah, alrighty. Sorry, couple of friends were trying to get this fic exposure.
>inb4 lion
dota2wiki.com/images/4/47/Lion.png
2684399
I don't get it.
2681491 Allow me to give you a hoof then.