The freshest beats available any time, here. Also, the freshest ships and editing. Seriously, if you want me to edit something send me a PM. Please. I'm so bored. Also my favourite pone is Vinyl.
The Royal bloodline has spanned centuries, a regal and very particular group of individuals who mostly keep themselves to themselves. But, over the years, this small group has slowly withered away into nothingness, forgotten in the mists of time.
So, when a newly crowned princess Sparkle comes to Luna with evidence of a true bloodline descendant, how will she react?
A short story written for the final part of Formal's Fanfic challenge!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Good stuff. Immortality and watching others die has been explored before, but I really like the way it's handled here. Feels like something written by someone who's experienced such loss in the past.
Keep up the good work.
Wow.
2627518
Thanks man!
2627769
Wow good, or wow bad?
2627777 Whadda you think buddy?
"and i would have to make up"
Hmmmmmmmmm. Need I even say it?
"Her innocent acts and plays were like a form of entertainment,"
I suggest removing the like since "a form" takes care of the comparison.
(D’aaaaawwwwwwwwwwww)
I felt the Daaaaaw until you mentioned it. Took me out of the story enough that I had to mention it. Urgh.
****
Shouldn't these be centered?
"why Mr Clef"
Missing a period somewhere, are we?
"Star Swirl the bearded"
Unless I'm mistaken, that bearded should be capitalized.
"I don’t think I could have answered her question. I still don’t think I can."
This feels... lacking. I'm chalking this one to personal taste because I have that gut feeling about it needing the vague somthing.
"She progressed so quickly"
You've used quickly a fair few times, how about "expeditiously" this time?
So... Octa Scratch. Since she's been around Luna all of her life in this Fanficition, I could see how this would be possible. And you've subtly pointed out earlier in the fanfiction she wasn't too fond of males. Regardless of the evidence to support it, it feels forced. Not the relationship, but the specific pairing.
"they still ahd time for each other"
I think you messed up a werd here.
"I have an estimated four years to live"
(Sniffle) You're m-missing a period h-here...
"A concoction of machines surrounded her"
A concoction is a combination of ingredients. Perhaps crowd? Inter-mixture? A range of medical devices?
~~~
And then wow. That ending. That... ending. That really sums up life for us, doesn't it? This was a well executed piece of fanfictionry and while it doesn't enter my favorites list, it earns my thumb.
Live, Learn, Let go
~Cosmic
I can see why you won.