The freshest beats available any time, here. Also, the freshest ships and editing. Seriously, if you want me to edit something send me a PM. Please. I'm so bored. Also my favourite pone is Vinyl.
You are Pinkie Pie, Ponyville's Premier Party Planner, and pony. You're dependable, funny, and great to be around(At least according to your friends). But when Cheerilee falls sick, will you step up to the plate to substitute her class in her absence?
Why, of course you will!
You're Pinkie Pie, after all, and it's your job to make other ponies happy.
No matter what the cost.
*A second person Pinkie Pie story featuring YOU as Pinkie Pie.*
Enjoy!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Commenting as I read:
One thing I’ve never understood well, or perhaps missed the point to, is when authors make us a canonical character. If you’re going to tell us a story about Pinkie Pie doing things and telling us her thoughts, even though we are her, why not just have the story about her? It makes far more sense and reads less awkwardly. When a story is about you, it should be about us. But when a story is about Pinkie Pie, shouldn’t it be about her?
Now, if this story had us being Pinkie Pie and let us make decisions with a little interactivity, then that would make sense. If I were Pinkie Pie, I would surely do this. But if my best friend were Pinkie Pie, he might do something else. Then that becomes a you story while still being a Pinkie Pie story. What I find eerily serendipitous is the title of this fanfiction. I guess I’m going to have to change mine for an upcoming release. Curse you.
There’s a missing apostrophe there. I’ll fetch the milk cartons.
I, eh, uhm. So… that error.
I’m having a hard time deciding if you missed what you were aiming for, or if it’s actually a brilliant contrast. Aside from a soundless thing making noise, it reads as if there was a character named Silence who was pounding.
Mr. There’s always a period after Mr. or Mrs.
Funny, though I don’t understand why people use us to tell a story about Pinkie Pie, it’s still written well at this point.
I have to say, I laughed.
You missed a capitalization there. It’s one of those easily-missed-even-with-spellcheck-errors.
Wow, long break with no commentary? I was enjoying the fic I guess.
Random capitalization?
As far as error glances go, that’s what I caught while passively reading the story. And might I say I enjoyed this. I mean I really freaking enjoyed this. A couple of things:
-There’s no exposition on why Pinkie Pie was chosen. I don’t necessarily have an issue with her doing this, and it was an extremely fun read, but I need to know why she was chosen to teach.
-I’m still inclined to stick with my opinion that this was a Pinkie Pie fanfiction and not an us fanfiction. It’s written for her, and written well. This is likely a stylistic question on my part so take my opinion with a little salt, just a pinch.
-We’ve already learned about a lesson in responsibility from Pinkie Pie. Actually, I was kind of surprised that she yelled at Diamond Tiara (and I suppose rightly so) because that seemed out of character. Ironically, that scene sounded like something you, the author, wanted to do. It would have made for a fantastic ending about learning how to deal with ponies you don’t like. Not yelling in their face, of course, but helping those come to terms with their own short comings.
-Pinkie Pie knows everyone in Ponyville… but she repeatedly states “that one chubby colt”. LOOPHOLE WHOOOOSH!
All in all?
8 out of 10 stars!
A thumbs up!
Favorite
Followed
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Eww Meh Awesome!
Live, Learn, Let go
~Cosmic
It has already been said, but the yelling scene seemed drastically out of character for Pinkie. The worst she would probably do is make Diamond do a Pinkie promise to stop making fun of ponies. Actually, it seems a little out of place for Diamond too; a little too forceful.
Good thing you added this- swallowing what Pinkie said before was a bitter pill by itself already. It took the edge a little off of something I'm not sure Pinkie would actually say to another; even when confronted with so much hostility. It was spiteful and mean. In fact, it was meaner than what Diamond Tiara said!
Also, there was little reason for Diamond to listen to anything Pinkie said: She was insulting as hay (calling her a parasite? What, do the other kids all have a job and not live with their parents?), and plain wrong. Diamond has a friend, one that enjoys tormenting others just as much as she does (she saw them high-hoof). Before that, Diamond stood her ground; she even repeated herself when Pinkie asked her to, knowing that it was a rhetorical question and most kids would simply back down when put on the spot like that. Where did her guts go, and why did she suddenly change her mind? Nothing Pinkie said was particularly convincing.
Perhaps it would have made more sense for Pinkie to try and explain to her how she, personally, saw friendships die because of cruel words, mean behaviour, and most importantly, a misplaced sense of pride. When she reached out to Gilda, the latter just couldn't get over herself, and burnt all bridges to her childhood friend Rainbow Dash in the process. The same could happen to Diamond; or, for that matter, Silver Spoon. Maybe the kids wouldn't have understood it, but it would've been more in character than telling her how horrible and useless she is, over and over again, while claiming to be trying to make ponies smile.
Addendum: Also, upvote.
2501867
K, lemme answer your questions.
First one, this fic was written for a competition, and while it didn't have to be second person, it did have to be about Pinkie substituting for Cheerilee. Had I more time, explanations would have been in place to show why the others didn't help out instead.
Yeah, you're right with the second point, it really, really didn't need to be in second person(pony?). But, at the same time, I really wanted to try something different. Honestly, I've already started re-writing the story to be in third-person(pony?) Objectional, which means that it follows around one 'object' or Pinkie, and intrudes upon her thoughts.
Gah, that scene. Look, really, I didn't like it. Mostly because I didn't actually write that part. I didn't put together what Pinkie said because I was stuck. Writer's block and all. I had a mate look it over and then write out that little exchange, and didn't bother to change it. Already I'm making edits to the story and changing that whole scene in particular. So yes, it was a bad scene, it was out of character, it was mean, in fact it was so unlike Pinkie, I'm surprised she hasn't leaped out of the screen and rewritten it herself!
Oh god. Oh man. Oh man oh god. Oh man oh god oh man oh god! A loophole?!
Better add some context!
I suck at names. Seriously. I couldn't come up with a name for him, and, in all my brain lockage and such, forgot to see it he had a canon name.
Eheh, whoops.
Aside from that, thanks for reading man! When I get access to my PC(i.e: when I get up), I'm going to go through and finish them there things we spoke about, and also correct all those mistakes you saw! Again, thanks!
2502767
Yup. That scene was forced. But not by me!
I had a mate write it, due to the fact that I had a minor case of writer's block. I am already in the process of rewriting that scene, as well as most of the story. You have to remember though, I wrote this story for a competition, so the idea was already thought up for me.
2501947
Yup, that's already being fixed!
Thanks for reading though!
2501867
All those little errors have been fixed up! Thanks for that.
Also, when reading through, I started to understand what you meant from the whole 'long break with no commentary'. Pinkie's weird perspective on things kinda drops out a bit near the mid-section. Sorry for that, and I'm currently going through it again.
Also, an 8/10, aw yeah!
Again, thanks for reading, and for the fixes!