Featured In21

More Stories21

  • E Our True Colors

    Scootaloo's never really cared much for Pinkie, but that's not going to stop Pinkie from "helping."
    14,118 words · 10,994 views  ·  608  ·  8
  • E However Absurd

    Pinkie Pie might not be the knight in shining armor that Rarity always wanted … but Pinkie might just be the knight that Rarity needs.
    3,498 words · 2,617 views  ·  307  ·  4
  • T Not Unless You Mean It

    Pinkie Pie's crush on Rainbow Dash is possibly the worst-kept secret in all Equestria ...
    21,035 words · 14,795 views  ·  635  ·  15
  • E Between Chaos and Creation

    The sun is big and beautiful and bright. It warms you up, and it makes you smile. But the sun can also exhaust you. And if you stare directly into the sun, if you get all caught up in its beauty and forget to look away, it can blind you.
    12,212 words · 2,314 views  ·  260  ·  4
  • T Seeking Beauty

    Rarity has accomplished everything she’s dreamt of accomplishing. Except for finding love.
    31,550 words · 7,846 views  ·  622  ·  15
  • T Regrets

    Rarity and Applejack go out for a fun night on the town. Things don't go according to plan.
    4,148 words · 6,889 views  ·  546  ·  13
  • T Like an Unexpected Song

    Can Twilight adjust her life’s blueprint to make room for the unexpected ... including Pinkie Pie?
    30,317 words · 6,538 views  ·  680  ·  18
  • E The Lessons Left Unlearned

    After the events of "Filli Vanilli," Pinkie Pie approaches Fluttershy with apologies. But when Fluttershy probes into just why and for what Pinkie is apologizing, Pinkie finds out that there are quite a few friendship lessons she has still
    3,168 words · 3,840 views  ·  570  ·  15

Blog Posts97

  • 15w, 1d
    Love Songs in the Key of FiM: The Complete Album

    Since the album’s finally complete, I thought I’d do a master post for it. One of the most interesting parts of the experience has been that, in reviewing the songs, I think my singing improved more than my guitar-playing did. I hadn’t expected that at all—if anything, I thought the reverse would be true.

    Also, the songs I recorded using an actual separate mic came out sounding worse than the songs I recorded using the built-in mic on my laptop. Go figure.

    "Then She Smiles" - RainbowPie

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "It All Falls Apart" - RariJack

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "Back When We Were Young" - FlutterDash

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "No One Else" - AppleDash

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "So Beautiful" - RariShy

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "Faded Glory" - RariDash

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "One Little Kiss" - TwiPie

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "Let’s Fly" - TwiDash

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "If I Said I Loved You" - FlutterPie

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "(Gonna Have) A Real Good Time" - ApplePie

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "Lovers and Friends" - TwiJack

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "Never You Fear" - AppleShy

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "Let Me Be Your Knight" - RariLight

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "Everything’s All Right" - RariPie

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "The Best Scare I’ve Ever Had" - TwiShy

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "This Is Not the End (It’s Only Beginning)" - Omniship

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    p.s. I have been working on writing projects, too. Several fiddly smaller ones and a single larger story, at least a few of which will hopefully be ready to post in the nearish future. So stay tuned!

    1 comments · 196 views
  • 19w, 1d
    Love Songs in the Key of FiM: Complete!

    Some of you who've known me a while may remember my ongoing project to write and record a love song for every inter-Mane Six ship. Today, after almost two and a half years, I've finally finished. Here are the last three songs that complete the album. (As always, the entire album can be found on my SoundCloud page.)

    "The Best Scare I've Ever Had" (TwiShy)

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "Everything's All Right" (RariPie)

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "This Is Not the End (It's Only Beginning)" (Omniship)

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    "The Best Scare I've Ever Had" lyrics:

    I wish I knew

    Just what to say to you

    But I don’t

    But I don’t

    I wish I knew

    Just what to say to you

    But I don’t

    But I don’t

    But if I did

    Here’s what I might say

    The next time

    You glanced my way

    I’d tell you that

    You scare me so bad

    And it’s the best scare

    I’ve ever had

    You always see

    A way to believe in me

    Even when I don’t

    Even when I don’t

    You always see

    A way to believe in me

    Even when I won’t

    Even when I won’t

    Even when I hid

    That phoenix from view

    You helped me out

    And you got us through

    And when you’re near

    I always want to say

    That you scare me in

    The best possible way

    I wish I had

    The nerve to come clean

    To look you in the eye

    And say what I mean

    I’d tell you that

    You scare me so bad

    And it’s the best scare

    I’ve ever had.

    "Everything's All Right" lyrics:

    I’ve burned all my bridges

    I’ve drank all my wine

    I’ve cut out my own heart

    And I’ve set it on the line

    A laugh catches in my throat

    When I say I’m doing just fine

    While the tears in my eyes

    Confess that I’m lying

    But that’s when you come to me

    With a smile so large and bright

    You take me into your embrace

    And you whisper, “Everything’s all right”

    And everything’s all right

    You never, ever fail

    You never let me down

    I cannot help but laugh

    Whenever you’re around

    And should I take a stumble

    You pick me off the ground

    Once I was blind to your charms

    Was lost but now I’m found

    And now when you come to me

    Your laugh so big and bright

    I pull you close and

    I whisper, “Everything’s all right”

    Yes, it’s all right

    Princes are overrated

    And sonnets are so cliche

    I’ll accept nothing less

    Than a love limerick a day

    And who wants red roses?

    I’d rather a pink bouquet

    Just one kiss from your lips

    Leaves nothing more to say

    Because when you come to me

    Like a beacon through the night

    I feel your shining love and it

    Makes everything all right

    You make it all right.

    "This Is Not the End (It's Only Beginning)" lyrics:

    I’m gonna tell you a story

    That took place not too long ago

    ‘Bout a girl who knew it all

    Except for what’s most important to know

    Until the day she left

    For a little backwater town

    Just supposed to be a visit

    But she stuck around

    (I stuck around)

    She pushed everyone away

    Said she had no need for friends

    But five ponies didn’t listen and

    Those same five saved her in the end

    They became the best of friends

    Together they went through it all

    And maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her

    That she started to fall

    (I started to fall)

    True as the ages

    Faithful as the sun

    Giving with abandon

    To each and every one

    Sweet as the spring rain

    Hopeful as the dew

    You made me what I am

    And I’m so grateful to you

    So many memories

    Battles fought, battles won

    Hugs shared and tears cried

    Each and every one

    You were there for it all

    And beside me you’ve stayed

    You’re the answer to a prayer

    I didn’t know to pray

    And I love you

    It hurts, it’s so true

    Yes, I love you

    Nothing else to do

    Because I love you

    I’ll shout ‘til I’m blue

    That I love you

    Yes, I do

    I’m gonna tell you a story

    ‘Bout a girl who’s still growing

    With her loved ones there to help

    Teach her the things worth knowing

    They’re still the best of friends

    Together through all this time

    And I’m still so grateful that

    I’m yours and you are mine

    I am yours and you are mine.

    1 comments · 134 views
  • 19w, 4d
    Story Reading: "Almost Beautiful"

    The Living Library Player Society recently did a live reading of my RariLight story "Almost Beautiful," and it can be found here for your listening pleasure. Many thanks to TLLPS for both choosing my story to read and for letting me know about it! (Extra bonus points are awarded to the reader who actually sang the snippet of "A Thousand Years" that I quoted before the story began.)

    4 comments · 152 views
  • 26w, 6d
    Love Songs in the Key of FiM: RariLight and AppleShy

    For those who may not have been around long enough to know—or who’ve just forgotten—I have a long-running project, entitled Love Songs in the Key of FiM, to write and record a love song for each of the fifteen different Mane Six ships. Up to now, I’ve posted songs for RainbowPie, RariJack, FlutterDash, AppleDash, TwiPie, RariShy, TwiDash, RariDash, FlutterPie, TwiJack, and ApplePie.

    Here are the songs I just recorded and uploaded for RariLight and AppleShy. I am especially pleased with the RariLight song—I think it’s by far the best I’ve written, so far, as well as the song that has my best singing.

    The entire album can be found on my SoundCloud page. Hope you enjoy!

    "Let Me Be Your Knight" (RariLight)

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    SPECIAL THANKS go to EarthSong9405, who helped inspire this song during a conversation we had over on her dA page about Rarity and Twilight.

    Once upon a time

    A long, long time ago

    Lived a princess fair

    Beautiful, head to toe

    Wise and brave was she

    And strong and kind and true

    With shaking voice she told me,

    "Your highness, I love you"

    "Let me be your knight," she said

    "Let me serve you faithfully

    To love a princess, not to become,

    I know now is my destiny”

    But I smiled in return

    And gently shook my head

    I took her hoof in my own

    And this is what I said:

    "I’m afraid you’ve got it wrong

    Destiny, you see, is fake

    Fate is not what happens to us

    But is something that we make”

    "You cannot be my knight," I said

    "Because you’re a princess to me

    Let me be your knight, instead

    And I will serve you faithfully”

    "Let me be your knight," she said

    "And I’ll be your princess too

    As long as you are by my side

    There’s nothing I can’t do”

    "Let me be your knight," we said

    "To protect you like a mighty tree

    And you can be my knight, as well

    And do the same for me”

    And so it was, and so it went

    In that kingdom now long past

    We lived well, and we loved well

    The years went by so fast

    I kept my word and my faith

    And I stayed there by her side

    "I love you," I told her

    As she smiled before she died.

    "Sweet dreams, my knight," I said

    "Where you go now, remember me

    And I’ll remember you, my love

    And how you served so faithfully.”

    "Never You Fear" (AppleShy)

    (YouTube) (SoundCloud)

    Step by step

    Mile by mile

    Hang on tight

    It’ll be just a while

    I’ll get you up

    This mountain, my dear

    Just hold on

    And never you fear

    Step by step

    Inch by inch

    Somehow I’ll find

    A way to not flinch

    I’ll save you from

    This dragon, my dear

    Just hold on

    And never you fear

    Stick with me

    And I’ll never let you down

    I’d move mountains just

    To keep you safe and sound

    You give me strength

    To persevere

    And you chase away

    The shadows and the fear

    You chase away

    The shadows and the fear

    Little by little

    Bit by bit

    We’ll figure out

    How we each fit

    Apples and animals

    Both are near and dear

    But we’ll make this work

    Never you fear

    It’s just a hop, skip,

    And a jump to over there

    Somehow I’ll prove myself

    Worthy to be your mare

    Though the way is murky

    One thing is clear

    We’ll figure this out

    Never you fear

    So hang onto me

    And I’ll hang onto you

    We’ll be okay

    As long as we stay true

    True to one another

    True to what’s sincere

    So just hang on

    And never you fear

    Hang on, hang on,

    And never you fear.

    3 comments · 248 views
  • 34w, 6d
    Thirty Minute Pony Stories: Legacy Prompt #1

    Recently Thirty Minute Pony Stories, the pony writing prompt blog for which I moderated for a few years and over 500 prompts, closed up shop. A number of TMP followers, however, have decided to carry on with follower-submitted prompts in the TMP group here on Fimfiction. The very first legacy prompt has been posted, and it can be found here.

    Thanks go to Esle Ynopemos for running the prompt!

    3 comments · 156 views
  • ...
 114
 6,268

Rarity has always believed that there exists a prince for every princess. And she's not wrong about that. She's just not right for quite the exact reasons she thinks she is.

First Published
20th May 2013
Last Modified
20th May 2013
#1 · 75w, 2d ago · 9 · ·

I kind of wish I had studied a bit more english so I could give you and other authors some constructive criticism.

As it is:

I liked it.

:facehoof:

#2 · 75w, 2d ago · 12 · ·

It would be too snarky by half to tell you that this story was only almost beautiful. It would also be a lie.

Well done.

#3 · 75w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

Donny

why do you have to be so feels, Donny

don't stahp

:raritydespair:

#4 · 75w, 2d ago · 4 · ·

That was pretty awesome... Though I do have one objection:

“Do you know why diamonds are so special?”

Rarity hesitated before offering, “They are uncommon?”

“They’re rare, yes. There’s that.” Twilight nodded, her eyes sparkling.

Pfft, no. Diamonds aren't rare. They're carbon. They're blisteringly common, but heavily supply controlled by a slowly weakening monopoly. Nearly every other gemstone in the world is less common.

#5 · 75w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

(In response to your Author's Note)  Not to mention the shot as they ride away, right?  Everyone else singing, Twilight and Rarity holding hands hooves together...

Wonderfully done - I can't think of a better way to tie together short pieces than this.  Had some really spectacular phrasing, too (too many to list, but silken steel might be my new favorite thing.)

#6 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

You made Rarity real for me way back in Seeking Beauty, and you continue to wow me with the depth of her wonderful character... Seriously, before I read your stuff that contained her, I kinda hated her for how shallow and frivolous the show could make her out to be. This gave me shivers and, if at all possible, made me love her more than I already do. I can't fully give justice to this with my own clumsy words right now, but I loved all of this. All of it.

Thanks for writing

#7 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

DB, this is such a fantastic story. Like you I became a Rarilight shipper pretty much as soon as I saw that scene in the episode, thus this story stands as a tribute to that in a remarkable way. There's just so much visceral emotion and beauty here. I love how well you capture Rarity's perspective and viewpoint--more than a few times some of the things she thought had me raising my eyebrows.

This definitely ranks amongst my favorites of the things you've written.

#8 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Fleur de Lis is unofficial badass! :pinkiehappy:

#9 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2606601

That is certainly how diamonds work here on Earth, yes. :pokerface:

#10 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow, this was fantastic! I loved the ending where Twilight said all those things about Rarity, it was perfect!

5/5

#11 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2606957

Actually, he's right, though not completely.

Diamonds are in fact a very abundant material on Earth.

The problem is that most of it is too far down in the Earth's core, too difficult to reach with practical means.

Have you ever seen the movie The Core? It wasn't exaggerating, it's very possible that there are enormous chunks of diamond the size of Cape Cod.

#12 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2607062

I mean, I'm not disagreeing with Jetstream. I'm saying that, sure, diamond scarcity is artificially-created here on Earth, but maybe it isn't in Equestria.

#13 · 75w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

>>2607090

Ah, yes. Now I see it. Nevermind then. :pinkiehappy:

#14 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Aw, Donny ships Rarilight now:raritystarry:

I liked when we learn why Rarity always thought Twilight was almost beautiful:twilightblush:

I always like these sort of 'progression' style stories. Where it's shown over the course of the show how the ponies learn to poni another poni:pinkiesmile:

Oh, and the ending:fluttershysad:

Well said Twilight

#15 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Rarity. You say that Twilight holds herself too low, but your own self recrimination is a thing of almost beauty.

If everyone is treating Twi differently,  does that mean Pinkie? Does that mean Spike?

(Diamonds really aren't worth anything like what they sell for. After the colonial powers discovered the diamond wealth of Africa the various diamond companies banded together to control it all. Almost all mines sell to this one consortium, and if anyone tries to sell diamonds without them they flood the local market with product from their vast reserves to crash the price and force competition out of business. This monopoly even invented as marketing "diamonds are a girl's best friend". Or so the internet has told me. Thinking on it now, I don't think that I ever questioned it as truth... hmm)

#16 · 75w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

She finally found her royal lover! Hey, if Rarity marries Twilight, will she get wings as well? If Rarity were to marry any princess or prince, would she get the wings? That`s my question.

#17 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2606782 I thought that she was married to or dating Fancy Pants. CHEATER! Or... mistress of both. Who knows.

#18 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

So much love for this. Rarilight is right and good :twilightsmile::raritywink:

#19 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

That was fantastic.

#20 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Added to Read Later!

I love Rarity and Twilight! :twilightsmile::raritywink:

I'll let you know what I think once I'm done reading it! :yay:

#21 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Normally I have no love whatsoever for this ship because it involves Spike sister and crush (who aren't so far beyond him in years as people like to think), but this was a very well-written piece of work. The diamond analogies at the end were fantastic.

Now why the hell isn't Crosis's latest fic in the feature box with it?

#22 · 75w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

I CANT???

#23 · 75w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

oh.. my... never thought i'd see this pair work... it feels a little awkward still, but this was written nicely...

ehh, downright awakward pairing as much as try to rethink it :x

#24 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

One of my favorite pairing and wonderful symbolic writing used.

Very Rarity, darling! :raritywink:

Brava! Brava!

#25 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

:fluttershysad: Don't cry. :fluttercry: Don't cry... :raritycry: Rarity, stop that! :applecry: Apples :pinkiesad2: :fluttershbad: :raritydespair:

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FREAKING FEELS! AHHHHHH MY BRAIN HOLES!

I like this ship. I wish there was more of it.

You are a sir.

#26 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Hey there! Recognize me from the 30 Minute Pony Blog? I certainly recognize you!

I really enjoyed this story. I was a bit unsure as to which direction it was headed at first, but once I realized Rarity's plight, I really got into it. I feel as if it could stand to be a bit less segmented, and have a tad more showing than telling, but considering this was crafted from several 30 minute exercises, you succeeded valiantly in telling a cohesive and touching story. I'm glad to see that it has made its way into the featured box and received its due-recognition.  :pinkiesmile:

#27 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

I like this one it is really cool :raritywink::twilightsmile:

#28 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Huh.

This seems to be my favorite RariLight shipfic so far. Of all of them this one finally seemed to make enough sense that, yes, I could get behind this shipping.

Good job. :twilightsmile::raritywink:

#29 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

I doubt that their opinions are going to change incredibly about Twilight's transformation. I mean rainbow would be knocking on her door to go flying.

Regardless to my personal thoughts, This is a very awesome story, I like how Rarity's feelings evolve through the story. Even though it was Rarity's thoughts mostly then the confrontation, the emotions pull you into the story. Very enjoyable.

#30 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

I want to spam you with thumbs up but every time I click it more than once it goes out and I have to click it again. I will admit I am not the greatest chooser of stories but this was awesome. I love the way you portray Rarity and tell it from her thoughts, its got so little action and reads like a journal of discovery. These kinds of stories are why I read fanfiction. The jewels in the rocks so to speak. :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

#31 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

I have been waiting to see this since you mentioned it in your blog months ago, pointing out that scene in the S3 opener.

Absolutely worth the wait. Precisely the feels I got watching Rarity sing to Twilight and hold her hoof, just amplified tenfold and given five thousand words in which to grow and blossom.

I've mentioned it in more or less as many words a number of times before, but every time you write something like this, it bears repeating: you are a gift to all of us here reading on Fimfic. Thank you, Donny's Boy.

#32 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Did anyone else feel like a literary genius after reading this? The words were so artfully put together that it somehow managed to be easily comprehended and still look like really complex dialogue. In the end, I felt accomplished because I thought I was being really confused by the writing, but was pleasantly surprised when I understood it completely. Seriously, anybody else get that feeling?

#33 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Nothing like diamonds to bring out a light's Sparkle. :)

#34 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

NEW DONNY'S BOY FANFIC ASDFGHJKL *flops around and fangirls* IT'S TWARITY OMG OMG OMG *clicks to read* HOLY SHIT INSPIRED BY ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS TOO?! *faints*


...ahem. Well then. Please excuse my insane fangirling and realize that I LOVED this fanfic. It was completely and utterly perfect. Totally deserves the top slot, no doubts about it. The way Twilight was so insecure, and how caring Rarity it was, it just... *makes inhumane noises of fangirling*

#35 · 75w, 2d ago · 1 · 2 ·

Didn't like it. Rarity telling Twilight that she meant every word should not have been taken as a love confession, even though we knew she was going to confess sooner or later. There was no reason Twilight should have taken it to mean that, unless she had break-the-fourth-wall knowledge of the fact that she was in a RariLight shipfic. Everything after that I just found kind of boring. Might be because the way the "confession" was executed just soured the rest of the story for me, but I think the rest of it, their coversation in bed included, was just skip-worthy in it's own right, negative bias or no. I did like that it was clear that Rarity was falling in love with Twilight before Rarity herself knew it. That much I can't deny. And I guess I can go ahead and see Twilight saying that Rarity treating her differently bothers her especially as a sign of mutual romantic feelings, though a little more evidence could have been provided in that direction. [continued in next post, PS3 text limit]

#36 · 75w, 2d ago · 1 · 2 ·

There were also moments where I was afraid Rarity was falling in love with Twilight just because she felt like she owed her. Giving her her knight was one thing that made me cringe. But the story didn't truly crash and burn until Rarity telling her she meant every word she said earlier as a confession. It's not just that it doesn't make sense either, though that's a large part of it because there really isn't anything for Twilight to take it that way, but it also cheapens the words...any friend could have said it to her, that it suddenly turns into a romantic confession kind of takes away the intention of support and even the  validity of the words. Romantic bias and everything. But 90 percent of my problem with it is that it's what a friend would say to a friend, not a romantic confession. The RariLight angle is interesting, though. I've actually never read one. I'd encourage ya not to make this your last. I think you should go for another one sometime. [continued in next post]

#37 · 75w, 2d ago · 1 · 2 ·

I think writing a longer one would do some good. I have no problem with one-shots, in fact they're mostly what I read, I just think that this particular story suffers from how short it is. Even turning it into a multi-chapter fic, however, would not fix the way that confession was executed.[e]

#38 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Well done and deserving of the spotlight. That I've seen these elsewhere doesn't take away from the deft stitching-together you've accomplished here. Kudos, belly rubs, pats on the head, and all that!

#39 · 75w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>2606610

Come on, Sleepless, I feel you missed an even bigger one here.

And since Twilight was not beautiful, Rarity could not possibly feel an ache deep in her chest, like the bitter frost of a cold winter’s night, the ache of knowing that Twilight Sparkle would never and could never be hers.

It's a long running sentence but, goddamn, if that's the result, Donny, you should run metaphysical marathons! instead of the regular kind of physical ones, I mean...

... Because you can't write whilst you run and sweat makes the pages all soggy- Trust me. Still, though, not as bad as that time I tried to write and swim. On the one hand I'd learnt my lesson about paper... But on the other hand it turns out using my laptop was definitely not an improvement.

But I digress... Great lines. Silken steel was definitely an excellent combination, it creates a powerfully vivid mental image that conveys a lot of, well, Rarityness.

#40 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

This... was just awesome. The pacing of it was great, the conclusion was great, the way the conclusion happened was great. Everypony was in character. :yay:

#41 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Quite good but it does feel a bit disjointed, although I think that might be because it was originally a bunch of short stories that were combined.  You did a good job at that but it just feels like its begging for more.

#42 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Exquisitely executed. Appropriate that this beautiful Rarity-centric story was stitched together from seemingly minor trifles. Thank you for this. :twilightsmile:

#43 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Howdy, folks! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so pleased to have gotten the kinds of in-depth feedback I've gotten, both positive and negative, and I'm happy that many of you enjoyed this. :twilightsmile:

>>2606450

Hey, I'm happy to take an "I liked it." Thanks!

>>2606601

>>2606957

>>2607062

YES, OF COURSE DIAMONDS ARE RARE IN EQUE--ha, ha, no, I can't even pretend. I had it in my head that diamonds were relatively rare (is that a common misconception?), and obviously I dun goofed up there. I'll probably go back and change that line. Whoops. :twilightsheepish:

>>2606610

THEY WERE TOTALLY HOLDING HOOFSIES. I think the joke I made, at the time, was that the MLP team made up for two seasons without very much RariLight ship fuel by shoving ALL OF THE RARILIGHT SHIP FUEL FOEVER into the last five minutes of the S3 premiere. 'Cause, I mean, they did.

And thank you! I'm very happy you liked it and think I did some okay word-slingin'! :pinkiehappy:

>>2606627

Aww, thanks. I love Rarity to pieces, and I think that tends to show in my writing, heh.

>>2606634

Really? I'm glad you liked it that much and especially that you think I did justice with my girl Rarity.

>>2606782

I like to think she is. I mean, anyone who gets to hang out with Fancy Pants as much as Fleur does has got to be a cool person, is what I figure.

>>2607113

>>2608416

Oh, no, I had it in mind that Twi meant only acquaintances and such when she said "everyone" treats her differently. I can't at all see Spike, Pinkie, or her other friends doing so, and I'm sorry I left that impression. 'Cause, I mean, just look at Rainbow Dash's (completely adorable) reaction to Twi getting wings.

>>2607149

My guess would be no, since Shining Armor didn't get wings when he married Cadance. But I'm not at all certain on all the elements involved in royalty and marrying into royalty.

>>2607428

I think "Best Chance for a Romance" is in the featured box now. Maybe not if you have settings turned on for Mature fics, as I think I have my settings turned off at present, but it's there!

>>2607637

Good to know it feels awkward still. Sorry 'bout that!

>>2607726

"Very Rarity" ... now there's a lovely compliment! Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

>>2607963

Heya, LE. 'Course I remember ya. :twilightsmile: Thanks much for the feedback. I think I fall into this kind of segmented writing a lot, not just 'cause of TMP but because it's a style I'm really familiar with. I really ought to work harder to do more longer-form writing. Also good to know about "show, don't tell" issues, thanks.

>>2608719

Oh, heh, thank you. Glad you think it was worth the wait. The entire thing was built on the ending of the S3 premiere--'cause whoa, shipping feels--so I'm especially pleased to hear that it felt like an extension of that.

>>2608909

Yay! :twilightsmile: And oh, my gosh, do I love that Christina Perri song. It's so, so pretty.

>>2608939

I think probably what the story could most use, in terms of improvement, would be more of Twi falling for Rarity, as it's almost entirely Rarity falling for Twi. I do regret that. With the confession scene, I saw the confession more in terms of body language and such--Rarity pinning Twi, leaning forward, using a particular tone of voice--though I can see why that feels lacking. Originally there was a kiss in there, too, which I ended up taking out during revising, and perhaps I should have left that in.

Thanks for the feedback!

>>2609210

I feel like I should bark and wag my tail, heh. Seriously, though, glad you liked it!

>>2609358

I would not recommend writing and swimming, using either a laptop or paper. Only heartbreak and woe can result. I'm glad to hear you thought some of the phrasing was Rarity-appropriate--I do try to do right by her. :twilightsmile:

>>2609467

That might be why, though I did know as I wrote each section that it was going to be part of this story. I think my writing style, when I do stories like this, just tends towards that disjointed feeling--it's something I really ought to work on. Thanks for reviewing!

#44 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2609614 I knowwwwwww, it's just so perfect ;_; The ultimate love song, really.

#45 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow. Though I dont like reading rarilight, this was simply amazing and poetic. Truly deserved to be featured.

#46 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

It wasn't groundbreaking, but it was touching and nice :D

#47 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2609614 It's actually a deliberate bit of misinformation. DeBeers has been pushing diamonds as ultra valuable, super rare and the ultimate expression of beauty and perfection for centuries. They're liars. Though it WAS true that they were rare... Until we figured out how to mine them properly... And then how to make them. Industrial diamonds are identical to natural ones.

Now COLORED diamonds are super rare.

#48 · 75w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2609614

I guess I can see the body language thing. Well that means Twilight was replying to her actions instead of her words. Which would mean that, except the very minor thing which you agreed with,  almost the entirity of my beef with the story doesn't even exist. A little embarrassing, really. The funny thing is, I actually had a (civil) argument with my brother (who was reading over my shoulder and was much more positive) about the story, and he pointed out the body language before I ever started writing my comment. I dismissed him because I didn't see it. Hearing the same pointed out by author intent makes me facehoof at myself. Well I'm reading this again immediatly.

#49 · 75w, 1d ago · · ·

The opening feels like a recap of a show we've already seen.

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