Canterlot Orphan Twilight Sparkle receives a surprise when Princess Luna offers to take Twilight as her personal protege. Under Luna's tutelage, a new Valkyrie is born.
An interesting chapter. I have only minor quibble - at one point Luna refers to Necromancy as "hands on." "Hooves-on" is probably a happier locution for the genre.
Starshard is now linked to Twilight, but I feel that Twilight's soul has met her at least once in the distant past.
That sucks that you had to jump through all of those hoops just to start writing again, I'm interested to see where this story goes. The only complaint I have about this chapter is that when you brought up the subject of weapons and listed a couple of examples, that you picked the weapon that Twilight got as one of them. If you're only going to list a couple of examples, you shouldn't have the one that the hero gets be one of the examples given, especially if it's something as exotic as a glaive. I do approve of the choice though, although the comment about reach doesn't really fit for a unicorn who will be wielding it with telekinesis.
3240120 Who said anything about her wielding it with telekensis? Blegh, no, no, no, no, no. That won't do at all. I really don't like those authors that just use telekensis as a solve-all problem when talking about weapons with greater reach than others. No, Twilight'll be using Grace with her own hooves/body, for the most part.
And yea, I always liked the mental image of Twilight with a glaive. And then, since it IS Twilight, I had to give it some sort of sentience.
3240190 *sigh* I will admit that is a fantastic game, but whenever something fantasy pops up that's been around since BEFORE World of Warcraft, people think its a reference. Well, it is not. A Lich Queen is a Lich Queen, really. Something that's been in fantasy lore way before Warcraft.
Anyway, Starshard as a Lich Queen fits her character rather well. You'll see why later, I'm sure.
This is shaping up to be a spectacular story, and I (unknowing of your plagiarism problems) was afraid that it had been forgotten. Good to see that it hasn't. I really love what you've done with Necromancy, how it's not "unholy" or "unclean" magic. A bit dangerous, yes, but isn't everything? Giving Twi a glaive (that she'd forged!) is a realy cool move too. Just one question; Where did she get the Pheonix feathers Looking forward to the continuation!
3240179 Says the guy whose profile picture is Twilight aiming a rifle with her telekinesis . In that case, I will also be eagerly awaiting any descriptions of her fight choreography, particularly those involving holding a polearm with hooves . But yes, while I know that there has to be some suspension of disbelief where that is concerned, especially since we've seen them holding things in the show, I was mainly basing my assumption on polearms being a two-handed/hooved weapon and ponies being quadrupeds. I do agree that telekinesis is somewhat of a catch-all where plot devices are concerned, but you do have to admit its utility.
3240093 oh good, poor Twily needs a change of pace from being used as nothing more than a mere tool and attack dog and then being turned into an alicorn so that even MORE use can be made from her
nice update by the way, so is Starshard Twilight's Granny or GREAT granny?
I'll guess that Twilight is a revived soul of a previous Valkyrie. Either that, or Nightmare Moon's daughter that got teleported through the dimensions to this one while in the womb.
3240474>>3240520>>3240554 Guess whatever you like. Ain't gonna get nothing outta me until it is time!
Unlike with Unity, I have swallowed my pride enough to actual do some proper foreshadowing. I hate foreshadowing with a passion, but sometimes it needs to be done.
And to those anonymous author(s) who reported this story for plagiarism, I salute you!
Plagiarism... wha...... but ah... and... ... I don't get it... plagiarism of freaking what? Nevermind...
3240198 Don't remind me. It's the same with Inception. Who cares that multiple dreams one within another were around for thousands of years, in the oldest lore. Let's call every instance of something within something a x-ception and say it's a great reference to the movie and that all instances of x-ception are from the movie! And I know you were not talking to me.
Welp, some wicked foreshadowing. Makes one wonder if the bit about taking her appearance for the sake of the Link was true...
Though it looks like a reread is in order... I might have forgotten details that will be necessary, it seems. Care for a list of possible typos and such in the entire fic? I think of doing it while reading. Your call!
3241054 This story has a great many similarities to the book series "The Ranger's Apprentice" which is why it was reported. It has to be stressed, however, that it is only really the beginning and some of how the world works that is similar. The story line will be different.
As for the chapter itself; I'm glad to see Valkyrie back, and I love how you portrayed Necromancy! So many people see Necromancy as equals to raising/animating undead etc, when Necomancy in its oldest and actual form is just the ability to speak with the deceased. You've given it a twist and allowed it to be useful for more than just communication, and it is one that I truly like.
As for Twilight Starshard... Why do I have a feeling that this is a "far-into-the-future" fic and Twilight Starshard is/was Twilight Sparkle, the element of magic? Hmm... You've got me curious. Really curious.
3241144 I got that vibe from Starshard as well. Add in the "come back in different body (but not really said what body and when will you come back)" and you have some interesting questions. Let's see where this is going! It is always refreshing to see so called "evil practices" not really evil. "Magic is a tool" seems more like the way it would be. Dangerous, able to corrupt if used incorrectly/with wrong mindset, but ultimately a tool.
And seriously... if that's plagiarism then this entire site should be banned for that... some people...
When I first saw the weapon named 'Grace' my first thought was 'well, at least this one doesn't have a spirit attached to it' to drive the wielder crazy (In a webcomic I'm reading there's a character with a sword(a rapier) by that name that does have a spirit attached to it, sort of since the spirit IS Grace, and it's not exactly, uh, friendly). Then the bit with Starshard happened. Well damn, then let us hope this spirit doesn't go, evil.
3241258 Is there? You are using already existing material after all. Though in all seriousness, I know it. It's just that this early into the story and they already report, when most stories take existing characters and settings and take a while to diverge... this does the same and yet... some people simply want others not to succeed, mainly because they can't do the same...
3241271 A crossover is where we /use/ a universe in its entirety, whereas in this case only parts of it is used. It's basically stolen... I know it doesn't make much sense, but I think that's how it is.
I think the glaive is not a good choice as a weapon, it may look impressive. But it's made for fighting armored cavalier, either by horse or on foot. The only attackway is with the dorn to pierce through the helm of the opponent.
I am so thrilled that this has started again and can't wait to see more. I can only guess the connection between twilight and twilight starshard, i like guessing games so thanks!
32402773241144 As said before, I'm proud of my ideas for Necromancy, and I'm pleased so many readers do too. Wait until you see how I handle other magic branches! This fiction was primarily built to strain my world building abilities, so strain them I shall!
3241111 Send me a PM with who you think she is, and I'll tell you how close you are!
3241452 I'd advise waiting until you see what Twilight's going to be fighting later on. You'll probably see why I chose the glaive to be her iconic weapon. That and the fact her glavie is also going to carry her runes, so even if she doesn't use it against a certain enemy she still has her enhanced magical aptitude.
3241983 Just out of the blue... I'm kinda disappointed how no one has never actually used "Cosmic Magic." I'd imagine that would be awesome. Drawing upon power from the stars, moon and sun? Even meteors, asteroids etc.
And there it was, in all of its beautiful and deadly glory: A glaive, specially designed for one Twilight Sparkle. It was easily as long as she was tall while standing on her rear hooves, about four feet. The pole was made of ash and colored lavender, and if one looked closely, they could see the strengthening and durability enchantments upon the wood. The blade was just as impressive, one and a half feet of gleaming Brightsteel, straight and deadly. Near the end of the pole, two scarlet phoenix feathers were attached.
Dude, that's awesome. And she made it herself? Even better.
Considering what we're getting here about using magic with a weapon, I'm suddenly wondering if Grace is going to end up turning into the Element of Magic when we get that far (assuming that's where this story is going that is). I'm not sure a big crown thingy really fits this particular Twilight Sparkle. Same for necklaces and the rest of the girls.
Interesting approach to necromancy, and to how the pony afterlife works.
A shared aether pool with a 1000 year old lich queen alicorn? Woah.
Starshard sighed. “I sure do hope so. I almost couldn’t keep my expression clear when I first saw her. I’ve missed her for a very long time.”
Hmmnn... I guess Twilight choose the Revive option in a past life?
But yea, after eventually getting that mess sorted out and ironing out a few bits of the chapter that I didn't think fit, finally got it posted. Now I can stop worrying over this one as much and update all of mine more regularly.
3241234 good advice for lots of things even outside of fan fiction . But seriously I think that flicka was just rushing to give twilight her cool weapon, I feel it might have been better just to let the link transfer between different weapons, give twi something standard now and then unveil Grace for the boss fight.
32412343242670 jlm is actually pretty right. Twi visiting her parents is a yearly thing. Anyone who pays any sort of attention notices this. Twi forging her weapon was only a one time deal, and the only other pony who knew about it was Shining. Even other ponies that (might) have been in the training grounds at the time of the sibling's sparring wouldn't have known where exactly the weapon had come from, or the fact that a young filly had made a weapon other blacksmiths would drool over.
I've got one more weapon I plan to introduce for Twilight later, for her to use whenever Grace is unavailable (or if a specific fights demands that she use a different weapon). Or hay, maybe she wants to use both at once. Who knows? I know I sure don't. I just let the story go where it wants to.
3242708 glad to hear that you though it out but still... was there nobody else in the forge at the time, what about failed attempts, where did she get the stuff ect ect. It seems like something a responsible caretaker would have taken notice of or at least suspected something assuming they aren't a total idiot.
your rules of necromancy are somewhat confusing so does twilight need to request aid from ghouls and zombies? you realise that by definition there both without a sentient mind of there own. is there no spells for submission of evil undead? can they form flesh golems? so many questions.
Comment posted by StormyVenture deleted Sep 23rd, 2013
3243267 I really like that ranger's apprentice cross over to start with and I LOVE the direction this is taking I hope to see more of this in the VERY near future ~
oh fuck me! i fucking HATE IT when twilight is used for someone elses plans! stupid princesses.
3240080 Ah, but it is not "someone else's plans". You'll see! and you'll LOVE what I've got planned.
An interesting chapter. I have only minor quibble - at one point Luna refers to Necromancy as "hands on." "Hooves-on" is probably a happier locution for the genre.
Starshard is now linked to Twilight, but I feel that Twilight's soul has met her at least once in the distant past.
3240100 Try refreshing page-- I caught it just a little bit ago during my post-publish read. Thanks, though!
And yea, you've guess correctly. The stage is starting to be set for the rest of the tale.
That sucks that you had to jump through all of those hoops just to start writing again, I'm interested to see where this story goes. The only complaint I have about this chapter is that when you brought up the subject of weapons and listed a couple of examples, that you picked the weapon that Twilight got as one of them. If you're only going to list a couple of examples, you shouldn't have the one that the hero gets be one of the examples given, especially if it's something as exotic as a glaive. I do approve of the choice though, although the comment about reach doesn't really fit for a unicorn who will be wielding it with telekinesis.
3240120 Who said anything about her wielding it with telekensis? Blegh, no, no, no, no, no. That won't do at all. I really don't like those authors that just use telekensis as a solve-all problem when talking about weapons with greater reach than others. No, Twilight'll be using Grace with her own hooves/body, for the most part.
And yea, I always liked the mental image of Twilight with a glaive. And then, since it IS Twilight, I had to give it some sort of sentience.
The Lich Queen? Seriously? (not sure if WoW referance or what?)
3240190 *sigh* I will admit that is a fantastic game, but whenever something fantasy pops up that's been around since BEFORE World of Warcraft, people think its a reference. Well, it is not. A Lich Queen is a Lich Queen, really. Something that's been in fantasy lore way before Warcraft.
Anyway, Starshard as a Lich Queen fits her character rather well. You'll see why later, I'm sure.
3240198 Sorry, I play WoW a lot and I know Lich's were before it, but my first thought was Arthas lol
3240243 Yea, I know where you're coming from. Still play that game, too.
This is shaping up to be a spectacular story, and I (unknowing of your plagiarism problems) was afraid that it had been forgotten.
Good to see that it hasn't.
I really love what you've done with Necromancy, how it's not "unholy" or "unclean" magic. A bit dangerous, yes, but isn't everything?
Giving Twi a glaive (that she'd forged!) is a realy cool move too. Just one question; Where did she get the Pheonix feathers
Looking forward to the continuation!
This is Australia...
3240179 Says the guy whose profile picture is Twilight aiming a rifle with her telekinesis . In that case, I will also be eagerly awaiting any descriptions of her fight choreography, particularly those involving holding a polearm with hooves . But yes, while I know that there has to be some suspension of disbelief where that is concerned, especially since we've seen them holding things in the show, I was mainly basing my assumption on polearms being a two-handed/hooved weapon and ponies being quadrupeds. I do agree that telekinesis is somewhat of a catch-all where plot devices are concerned, but you do have to admit its utility.
3240093 curse you for making me wait for such an amazing story!
3240093 oh good, poor Twily needs a change of pace from being used as nothing more than a mere tool and attack dog and then being turned into an alicorn so that even MORE use can be made from her
nice update by the way, so is Starshard Twilight's Granny or GREAT granny?
3240329 Neither!
3240333 not go far enough back?
I'll guess that Twilight is a revived soul of a previous Valkyrie. Either that, or Nightmare Moon's daughter that got teleported through the dimensions to this one while in the womb.
3240520 actually thinking on it for a few minutes I'd actually now say that Twilight is Starshard's daughter or so reborn
3240474>>3240520>>3240554 Guess whatever you like. Ain't gonna get nothing outta me until it is time!
Unlike with Unity, I have swallowed my pride enough to actual do some proper foreshadowing. I hate foreshadowing with a passion, but sometimes it needs to be done.
wait, Luna knew that Twilight visited her parents grave but not that she was a skilled enough blacksmith to impress even her?
Or have I misunderstood the bit about Grace?
3240179 I will say I love the idea of Twilight going towards lances/spears/polearms/halberds/glaives/etc, it isn't done nearly enough
The double finger defence! I only think they reported for plagiarism because of the similar magic branch descriptions as archmage.
Plagiarism... wha...... but ah... and... ... I don't get it... plagiarism of freaking what? Nevermind...
3240198
Don't remind me. It's the same with Inception. Who cares that multiple dreams one within another were around for thousands of years, in the oldest lore. Let's call every instance of something within something a x-ception and say it's a great reference to the movie and that all instances of x-ception are from the movie!
And I know you were not talking to me.
Welp, some wicked foreshadowing. Makes one wonder if the bit about taking her appearance for the sake of the Link was true...
Though it looks like a reread is in order... I might have forgotten details that will be necessary, it seems.
Care for a list of possible typos and such in the entire fic? I think of doing it while reading. Your call!
Keep up the good work!
I know who Starshard is and if anyone else can't figure it out then all I have to say is wow.
3240245 haha nice, got any 90's? What am I saying, course you do... what faction?
3241054
This story has a great many similarities to the book series "The Ranger's Apprentice" which is why it was reported. It has to be stressed, however, that it is only really the beginning and some of how the world works that is similar. The story line will be different.
As for the chapter itself; I'm glad to see Valkyrie back, and I love how you portrayed Necromancy! So many people see Necromancy as equals to raising/animating undead etc, when Necomancy in its oldest and actual form is just the ability to speak with the deceased. You've given it a twist and allowed it to be useful for more than just communication, and it is one that I truly like.
As for Twilight Starshard... Why do I have a feeling that this is a "far-into-the-future" fic and Twilight Starshard is/was Twilight Sparkle, the element of magic? Hmm... You've got me curious. Really curious.
3241144
I got that vibe from Starshard as well. Add in the "come back in different body (but not really said what body and when will you come back)" and you have some interesting questions. Let's see where this is going!
It is always refreshing to see so called "evil practices" not really evil. "Magic is a tool" seems more like the way it would be. Dangerous, able to corrupt if used incorrectly/with wrong mindset, but ultimately a tool.
And seriously... if that's plagiarism then this entire site should be banned for that... some people...
3241251
There's a difference between crossovers and plagiarism I don't get why it was reported either, but it's back and that's all that matters
When I first saw the weapon named 'Grace' my first thought was 'well, at least this one doesn't have a spirit attached to it' to drive the wielder crazy (In a webcomic I'm reading there's a character with a sword(a rapier) by that name that does have a spirit attached to it, sort of since the spirit IS Grace, and it's not exactly, uh, friendly). Then the bit with Starshard happened. Well damn, then let us hope this spirit doesn't go, evil.
3241258
Is there? You are using already existing material after all.
Though in all seriousness, I know it. It's just that this early into the story and they already report, when most stories take existing characters and settings and take a while to diverge... this does the same and yet... some people simply want others not to succeed, mainly because they can't do the same...
3241271
A crossover is where we /use/ a universe in its entirety, whereas in this case only parts of it is used. It's basically stolen... I know it doesn't make much sense, but I think that's how it is.
I think the glaive is not a good choice as a weapon, it may look impressive. But it's made for fighting armored cavalier, either by horse or on foot. The only attackway is with the dorn to pierce through the helm of the opponent.
Hmm... I wonder if it'll be a threesome.
I am so thrilled that this has started again and can't wait to see more. I can only guess the connection between twilight and twilight starshard, i like guessing games so thanks!
3240277 3241144 As said before, I'm proud of my ideas for Necromancy, and I'm pleased so many readers do too. Wait until you see how I handle other magic branches! This fiction was primarily built to strain my world building abilities, so strain them I shall!
3241111 Send me a PM with who you think she is, and I'll tell you how close you are!
3241452 I'd advise waiting until you see what Twilight's going to be fighting later on. You'll probably see why I chose the glaive to be her iconic weapon. That and the fact her glavie is also going to carry her runes, so even if she doesn't use it against a certain enemy she still has her enhanced magical aptitude.
3241983
Just out of the blue... I'm kinda disappointed how no one has never actually used "Cosmic Magic." I'd imagine that would be awesome. Drawing upon power from the stars, moon and sun? Even meteors, asteroids etc.
Dude, that's awesome. And she made it herself? Even better.
Considering what we're getting here about using magic with a weapon, I'm suddenly wondering if Grace is going to end up turning into the Element of Magic when we get that far (assuming that's where this story is going that is). I'm not sure a big crown thingy really fits this particular Twilight Sparkle. Same for necklaces and the rest of the girls.
Interesting approach to necromancy, and to how the pony afterlife works.
A shared aether pool with a 1000 year old lich queen alicorn? Woah.
Hmmnn... I guess Twilight choose the Revive option in a past life?
3242082 *cough cough* That's for one of the sequels. Not sure which one yet, but the thought has crossed my mind.
Awesome chapter. I'm glad this is back up.
P.S. You can add two more fingers to your salute.
3242551 I'm sure I can, ha!
But yea, after eventually getting that mess sorted out and ironing out a few bits of the chapter that I didn't think fit, finally got it posted. Now I can stop worrying over this one as much and update all of mine more regularly.
3241234 good advice for lots of things even outside of fan fiction . But seriously I think that flicka was just rushing to give twilight her cool weapon, I feel it might have been better just to let the link transfer between different weapons, give twi something standard now and then unveil Grace for the boss fight.
3241234 3242670 jlm is actually pretty right. Twi visiting her parents is a yearly thing. Anyone who pays any sort of attention notices this. Twi forging her weapon was only a one time deal, and the only other pony who knew about it was Shining. Even other ponies that (might) have been in the training grounds at the time of the sibling's sparring wouldn't have known where exactly the weapon had come from, or the fact that a young filly had made a weapon other blacksmiths would drool over.
I've got one more weapon I plan to introduce for Twilight later, for her to use whenever Grace is unavailable (or if a specific fights demands that she use a different weapon). Or hay, maybe she wants to use both at once. Who knows? I know I sure don't. I just let the story go where it wants to.
3242708 glad to hear that you though it out but still... was there nobody else in the forge at the time, what about failed attempts, where did she get the stuff ect ect. It seems like something a responsible caretaker would have taken notice of or at least suspected something assuming they aren't a total idiot.
3242726 Just wait and see what else comes up because of this
How interesting... This story was dead for a while, and now returns with a chapter about Necromancy...
Anyway, for the return of Valkyrie! I
impatiently await the next chapter!Write on,
Legion
3242708 Twilight should quad-wield bows
v.cdn.nuklearpower.com/comics/8-bit-theater/090127.png
your rules of necromancy are somewhat confusing so does twilight need to request aid from ghouls and zombies? you realise that by definition there both without a sentient mind of there own. is there no spells for submission of evil undead? can they form flesh golems? so many questions.
3243267
I really like that ranger's apprentice cross over to start with and I LOVE the direction this is taking I hope to see more of this in the VERY near future ~